52 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
52 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #266 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Bruce Corey's 15 Minutes of Fame: !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: An Interview in the Dew Cycle" !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by -> Fenris J. Sunswallower 11/4/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Fenris: What is your reaction to the connection between Dew and the
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International Communist Conspiracy?
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The Guy: I'm gonna stop drinkin' it if that's true.
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F: Would you willingly follow the Communist Party?
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T: No. That's a stupid question.
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F: Would you finance them by purchasing products from the Pepsi Cola
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Company?
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T: Guess I do, don't I?
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F: Do you drink Dew?
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T: (nods) Not from now on...
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F: In a war, would you side with the USA or the Trialateral Commission?
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T: (after several lengthy explanations of what exactly the Trilateral
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Commission is) On ours, of course. I'd kill em all.
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F: What would your reaction be if we told you that the Commission is using
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Dew to lower the sperm count of every male in America, and thus make us
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easier to conquer in a prolonged war?
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T: I'd assassinate 'em. All of 'em.
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F: And if we told you that there is evidence in the book of Revelation that
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the Communists and the Trialateral Commission where going to suceed
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around the turn of the century?
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T: I dunno... I think most of what's in the Bible is true... All of it, in
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fact. If that was in the Bible, then I'd have to say They'd forged it.
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F: What role does 711 play in the International Communist Conspiracy?
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T: Probably all pawns. Paid to do it, you know?
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(At this point, a man walked in, tried to pull the old "but I gave you
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a 20" trick, failed, and left. The Guy chuckled for a while, impressed
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with his wit at avoiding the con, and returned to our interview.)
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F: And what do you think his role in the whole thing is?
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T: He's the leader, undoubtably.
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F: What would you do to him, given 10 feet of rope and a handgun?
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T: ....Hang 'em, then shoot 'em?
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F: Do you phear Mogel?
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T: (chuckles) I don't fear no man. I'd just shoot this guy.
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F: Finally, what fruit does Mountain Dew taste like?
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T: Watermelon.
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What an idiot.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #266, Fenris J. Sunswallower - 11/4/98 !!
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