71 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
71 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #263 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Pig Story" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Nybar !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/3/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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I said, "So, that's the only reason you are going out with me?!
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Because I carry this... pig doll!?" and then I glared at the pretty little
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doll of a pig. So cute it was. I hated it; it was a rival.
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"Well, yes. Actually, I heard from a Joan Crawford movie that a
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womans G-spot is indirectly exposed to gamma rays, and thus she is turned
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on. But you see, they have to send the rays from cuba, which the CIA has
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something to--"
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"A stupid pig doll.." I cut in. <snip> "You do know never to trust
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that vogue crap, right?"
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"Well, the bay of pigs was..."
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"A not-worth-the-glass-it's-blowed-out-of pig doll..." once again I
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cut in.
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"You sexist!"
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"What? Howzzat?"
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"Blowed out of!!?! Like we have to suck your penises to shape the
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world!"
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"I only have one penis. Anyway, there's this thing called glass
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blowing..."
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"I never want to see you again!"
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"Hey, maybe YOU'RE an Uncle Tom! A reverse Peter Fonda so to
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speak. You are obviously highly aroused by me carting around a pig carvin."
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"Well, you're the one that tried to make Monica Lewinsky into
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scandal rag fair the likes not seen since Marion Davies!"
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"Howzzat?"
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"Ok, you see, it's illeagal for the MAN to be lovelorn in movies
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these days. So Citizen Kane is valued for it's kitsch. See, they are
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trying to break off from it and be self-parodying, but they got lost along
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the way. Understand?"
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"Right, 'Rosebud', go on."
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"Okay, so the women are always nymphs! But soon there will be a
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backlash."
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"Obviously, you are a genuis in these matters, which clearly
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translates into everything else. Explain to me again why Neil Armstrong
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saying 'One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind' was a
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mistake?"
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"Because he's a sexist pig that mocks athroprenticity."
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"Well, it's true, there weren't any women on the moon... I think
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what he meant to say was 'One small step for A man, etc.'"
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"I don't think we should see each other anymore."
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"Hahahaha, not much you can do about that sistah... you would have
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to pluck your eyes out if I was determined."
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"No, it's true. Some fat guy told me he can't be stalked because
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no one could POSSIBLY break through his safety net, even though he does
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nothing to hide himself."
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"Hm, I think that's the author making an insult to a cer--"
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"I mean, is that ridiculous or what? Anyway, he obviously isn't
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sexist. He's fat. He probably goes on oprah. A support group at least."
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"Alright, Heil Oprah! Oh yeah, I am offended by the word penis."
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(the things I do..)
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"I see you appreciate athroprenticity, which means we can continue
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seeing each other."
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"Alright, let's meet again here 2 hours from now."
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"WAIT." Then she made a big show of taking out this huge daily
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planner with lots of things like 'Pizza coming in 30 minutes' in it.
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"Okay, I've got it down... where's here?" On second thought, she probably
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needed the daily planner.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #263 - WRITTEN BY: NYBAR -- 11/3/98 !!
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