132 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
132 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #258
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$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
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$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
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$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
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$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
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$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
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$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
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$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
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>> "Hello, This Submission Is So Bad It's Funny" <<
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by -> Northstar
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Date: 10:01 pm Tue Dec 1, 1994 Number : 47 of 66
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From: Northstar Base : Private Mail
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To : Mogel Refer #: None
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Subj: Tried chatting Replies: None
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Stat: Normal Origin : Local
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Well I'd like to join HoE. I've written for YEAh and SiKE. they are both
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fairly new and just have small writing sections. That is why I'd like to
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join you or PeZ. A real writing group... Hmm, I wonder if my YEAh files ever
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got to you???:) I hope so... Well I hope ya like the file, you may edit
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the top part of this file anyway you like, and the end. In other words
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if accepted you can put your cute little HoG:)
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_______________________________________________________________
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| LIFE OF THE TRIX RABBIT! |
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| WRITTEN BY Northstar. |
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| Once again, change this part with your little HoE symbol..|
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|______________________________________________________________|
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INFO
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~~~~
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Well I'd like to join HoE. I'm writing this for my app:) And if I offend
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anyone in this file, then FUCK YOU! Learn to take a joke... geez, get a
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sense of humor!<g>
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Now our feature presentation....
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Well I'm writing this on my death bed... I've been starving myself for weeks.
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I am...... THE TRIX RABBIT!! I know what you are thinking...well, I'm
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starving myself until they stop animal cruelty! All those years! all those
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commercials! All those supermarket adds! BUT STILL, I'VE NEVER TASTED TRIX!
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It looks so good, why??? Oh why, Do they not let me have some??? They made
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me their spokesperson, promise me fame, money, great sex, but they never
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gave me the ONE things I needed.... a bowl of TRIX.
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I tried everything, paying people to buy it for me, dressing as a kid,
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stealing it, and not one time did it work!!! My life is meaningless without
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TRIX. I'll either have some TRIX now, or die never knowing how it tastes.
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Just then the doctor arrived. He pleaded with me to eat, he said they'd
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stick needles in me, but I answered him, "Either you get me a bowl of TRIX
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or get the FUCK outta my mansion!" He left...
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Next came my agent. He begged me to eat again. He said that if I die, he
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will have no job. he was living on the %85.443342323333999992203300330303093
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of my salary. BUT ONCE AGAIN, ALL I WANTED WAS A FUCKIN BOWL OF TRIX! IS THAT
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SO HARD??????? He left too...
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Then it came to me. maybe they want me dead? Maybe if I kill myself, they
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will be happy? It made me think if I was doing the right thing...
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It all came to me in a dream. In it was a person I had never met. It was a
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bunny, but not like me... he had a bushier tail, and just looked more like
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a bunny... I am a rabbit!! A RABBIT! WHY SOME PEOPLE CALL ME THE TRIX
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BUNNY, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!!! Well back to the dream, he said his name
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was, Moogie. Any relation, to that really 3lite Dewd named Mogel is not
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known<g> From him I finally found out why they are so relunctant to give me
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TRIX and do not care if i die... You see if I do die, then they simply hire
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this new guy... I wonder who he is...
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Now it all seems like my life has become worthless... If I die, nobody will
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miss me.. decisions decisions...
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The next day my friends, Snap, Crackle, and Pop came to visit me.. they told
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me how they never tasted their cereals, and they don't give a shit. They
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told me how after i eat the shitty cereal I'd probably never want to do
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another commercial for it again. But, I refuse to give up on my quest,
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TO EAT TRIX, OR TO DIE!
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Now my starvation diet is all over the news... It seems people find it funny.
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How can somebody find humor in somebody's troubles??? My life is full of
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disappointment. Remember the great sex they promised me? It wasn't as good
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as they said it would be.. Now the blow jobs were great, but the fucks
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just weren't 'up to my expections and hopes'. That Barbara walters...
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If I get one more for a request for an interview I will have her killed!!
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I mean she acts like she is such a big shit, but we all know the truth...
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Well it looks like the Studio is caving in. They have promised me more money
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if I stop asking, off camer of course, for TRIX.I said no, but it shows
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that they are willing to try...
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I'm still starving myself... I look like a little Rabbit of age 16. I'm
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actually 17, but the studio exec's mademe look like 20 something...
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2 more weeks have passed by, I cannot write, and I can, uhhgg, barely talk.
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<*COUGH*> AHEM... I have my voice back for the moment.. telling my
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secretary what to type.. All this for a fucking bowl of TRIX! Is it worth it?
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I cannot say anymore.... I must sleep... The long and eternal sleep...
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The next day they brought me TRIX on the condition I never tell anyone. Oh
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all those colors, those fruity shapes... I can harddly resist. I leap out
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of bed, using the last energy I had left. Grab the spoon, I make sure all
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the shapes are on the spoon so that in one bite I can know if it was worth it!
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I swallow it down. SHIT! That is what it tastes like! Snap, Crackle, and Pop
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were right! This stuff sux! I run to the bathroom, falling along the way.
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I puke my guts out.. I ask myself was it worth it? HELL NO! I then start
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feeling sleepy... The last thing I remember is my eyelids shutting, and
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then I see a white light........
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***************THIS JUST IN! TRIX BUNNY PRONOUNCED DEAD***********************
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Yes folks... his time has finally come. The exact cause of his death is
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unkown. More information at 10:00.
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******************************************************************************
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Two days later, a new spokesperson is named...MOGEL!
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #258 -- written by Northstar -- 8/16/98 *
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