75 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
75 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #253
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$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
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$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
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$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
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$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
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$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
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$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
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$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
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>> Apotheosis <<
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by -> Lifelike
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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<lifelike> i realized as i was peeling potatoes that LIFE is a lot like a
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POTATO
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<lifelike> when you peel it, that is
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<lifelike> 'cause when you peel them, you take the tip of the peeler &
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dig into it if you find a black spot or something
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<lifelike> & you gotta do that with LIFE
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<lifelike> you gotta DIG AT IT with a SHARP OBJECT until you get out the
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bad parts
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<lifelike> the parts you can't eat
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<lifelike> the parts that make you sick
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<lifelike> & you THROW THEM IN THE TRASH
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<lifelike> with the PEELS
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<lifelike> actually
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<lifelike> potatoes are more like individual relationships than LIFE in
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general
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<lifelike> 'cause each relationship starts out covered in dirt
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<lifelike> & you gotta peel that shit off
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<lifelike> & reveal the white skin of the starchy tuber beneath
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<lifelike> & when you happen upon those black spots
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<lifelike> you gotta DIG THEM OUT
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<lifelike> you gotta D1G TH3M 0UT
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<lifelike> you gotta have fear in your heart
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<lifelike> & then sometimes you find a MOLDY old PIECE OF SHIT POTATO
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<lifelike> & you think you can SAVE IT from its STAGNATION
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<lifelike> & YOU WANT TO DATE IT
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<lifelike> because you think it can LOVE YOU LIKE NO OTHER, because IT'S
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SEEN PAIN TOO
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<lifelike> but it's REALLY just DIRTY & FULL OF MOLD & HAS A STINK
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<lifelike> & you realize, after you've cut your fingers with the
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vegetable peeler TOO MANY TIMES TO COUNT
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<lifelike> that maybe it's NOT WORTH SAVING
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<lifelike> & sometimes, you need to just THROW ONE AWAY, WHOLE
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<lifelike> nothing more can be done for it.
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<lifelike> ...
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<lifelike> my potatoes, much like my relationships, are now cut into
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little pieces & in a pot of boiling water in my kitchen.
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<lifelike> soon i'll mash them
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<lifelike> & add milk & butter & some salt
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<lifelike> it's all cycles, man.
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<lifelike> potatoes take a long time to cook
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<lifelike> HOLY SHIT
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<lifelike> SO DO RELATIONSHIPS
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<lifelike> you gotta have PATIENCE for the potatos to be cooked all the
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way through
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<lifelike> otherwise you come out with LUMPS ALL THROUGHOUT
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<lifelike> & i always think i put in too much milk when i'm mashing them
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<lifelike> but it always turns out to be JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT
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<lifelike> it's like something otherworldly is watching over me,
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protecting me from the horror of a whole pot of runny mashed
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potatoes
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<lifelike> but uh, i guess that's where things differ in this stupid
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analogy
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<lifelike> 'cause no one can protect us from BAD RELATIONSHIPS
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<lifelike> i make excellent mashed potatoes.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #253 -- written by Lifelike -- 7/15/98 *
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