59 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
59 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
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$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #191
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$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
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$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
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$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
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$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
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$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
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$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
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$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
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>> "Dear Jewel Kilcher" <<
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by -> Styx
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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this is a letter i wrote to jewel kilcher before she got as "big" as
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she is now. i never received a response.
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-------------------------------------------------------------------
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Dear Jewel Kilcher,
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Before you complete your inevitable metamorphosis into a spread-eagled
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participant in the executive gangbang that is corporate rock(tm), I am
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sending you this; a cordial invitation to come over my house and have sex
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with me.
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To assist you in your decision to accept or decline my offer, I will
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provide a brief description of myself.
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I'm 20 years old, 5'10", 140 lbs., and not very healthy. I work a
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low-paying job where I chain-smoke for 40 hours a week. My hair is unkempt
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and I rarely shave. My head is too big for my body and my nose is too big
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for my head. However, I have a _really big dick_.
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I am, by all accounts, a stereotypical male. I concern myself only
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with the most trivial things in life, leaving everything else to those with
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the drive and energy to reject complacency. They can have their Cark Jungs,
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Henry Thoreaus, and Joseph Campbells. They can have their clove cigarettes,
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gourmet coffee, and prescription drugs. All of their therapy won't save
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them in the end.
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What does all of this have to do with my proposal, you wonder? Well
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stop wondering because it will get you nowhere. You're even more shallow
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than I am so you couldn't begin to understand. Just keep your mouth shut,
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come over here, and have sex with me. As incentive, I will beat the hell
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out of you and piss in your mouth. It will undoubtedly fuel your creative
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juices; at the very least, you could write a song about it. How's that for
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a fair exchange? A song for sex. Get back to me before MTV does.
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Predictably yours,
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Styx - (XXX)XXX-XXXX
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #191 -- written by Styx -- 1/22/98 *
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