248 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
248 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
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$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #190
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$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
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$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
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$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
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$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
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$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
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$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
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$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
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>> "Hume Tickles Me" <<
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by -> MoonBagel
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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I would like to introduce this paper by stating three things quite
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simply. First, this is quite possibly the stupidest move I have ever made
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in my "scholastic career." Second, this class landed at bad time for me --
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it managed to conveniently coincide with a fun-filled period of existential
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angst. ("Katie, you have more angst than anyone I know" -- my mother over
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Christmas Eve dinner, December 24, 1997). Finally, this is the first time
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in well over a year I have felt truly inspired. With these things in mind,
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I proceed:
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While I have tremendously enjoyed being a part of this class,
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occasionally contributing a little insight or any of a number of inane
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comments and listening to those of others, I feel compelled to admit that I
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do not have any impenetrable, or even defendable, opinions regarding the
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vast majority of the topics we have covered in this class. There were
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concepts and excerpts which did touch me profoundly. I was doing some final
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reviewing on the afternoon of the 13th, and it was those pieces that stuck
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out in my mind above all others, and those which stick with me as I type
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this paper. The prompt given for this final was "Explain your point of view
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concerning major philosophical issues studied in this class." I intend to
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do so. I realize fully that what follows is not what was intended when the
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assignment was given, but as I started to type the original draft of my
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paper, I realized this was going to be yet another entry in the long line of
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BS papers I have written for a huge number of classes over the course of the
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past few years. It occurred to me that this was NOT what I needed to be
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writing to fulfill what I consider to be goal of this final. If nothing
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else, this assignment begged brutal honesty, and that is what I offer as
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opposed to my usual steady stream of bullshit. I cannot begin to verbalize
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the adrenaline rush I felt when I realized this was my big, bright, shiny,
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sparkling, glowing chance to write honestly and feel completely justified.
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Regardless of my grade, I will come away feeling fulfilled, knowing that on
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this occasion I was not just playing a game with my teacher and that I wrote
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something that I can take pride in.
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At the beginning of the semester we read Plato's Apology. It floored
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me, as does most any writing that involves a person standing up, unfailing,
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for something that is Right or Just. One thing that bothers me most about
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the generation I am a part of is that the vast majority of us have nothing
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we are willing to stand up for. To see that strength elsewhere is immensely
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reassuring to me when I wonder if there is any hope that we will ever even
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resemble virtuous people.
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Reading that passage over is a large part of the reason I decided to
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complete this assignment as I am. While a final paper for one class in high
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school is fairly insubstantial compared with Socrates dying for his personal
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belief system, I keep in mind the Emperor Marcus Aurelius stating and
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restating that our Virtue is something we should prize, and we should never
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tarnish it by doing anything that is not right.
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My little duct-taped copy of The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius is
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another thing that affected me deeply throughout this semester. I plan on
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purchasing the book very soon after turning in my class copy, and along with
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that, my journal will keep me in touch with what I initially felt when I
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read his words. Attitude is everything -- if a task or an obstacle is set
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in your path, a negative attitude will not help you to continue your
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journey. I often recall what Aurelius wrote about Maximus in the fifteenth
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entry of Book 1 -- "no man could ever think that he was despised by him." I
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believe I could be a truly content person if, in old age, I could look back
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on my life and be assured that no man ever thought himself despised by me.
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I typed out the first entry in Book 2 and keep it in my room as a reminder
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that in every day of my life, I will meet people with unimaginable
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differences, and I must learn to deal constructively, and hopefully kindly,
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with each. I do not have to agree with someone to respect them, or to
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simply tolerate them. I was reminded that sadly, people are generally
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compelled to grasp at the most insignificant, fleeting, insubstantial
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abstracts in their lives and become ardently attached to their accumulated
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material wealth. I was simultaneously reminded that I am capable of
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transcending that... well, perhaps I will not be able to transcend it
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entirely (as I am human), but I can keep at the forefront of my waking
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thoughts the importance of family, Love, Virtue, and Honor. As I age, and
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even in my youth, I will bear in mind that death is a part of the life cycle
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and is inevitable; I should not fear death, rather, I should accept its
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inevitably and move forward with my life through the time in which I do have
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control. The simplicity of life is important -- too much is lost in the
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overbearing spectacle some men shape their lives into. Nature does not
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oppose itself, as that is unnatural. The idea that we ultimately are the
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same material as the soil, an oak tree, or the star Alpha Centauri is quite
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humbling. Each creature is born of the death of another.
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I was very impressed by Immanuel Kant's astoundingly logical
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discussions involving the hypothetical and categorical imperatives and sense
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of duty. They appear to be workable and effective in practice -- virtually
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every mentally stable person can agree on such categorical imperatives as
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"murder is wrong." Though it has been said that "the road to hell is paved
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with good intentions," I prefer Kant's "without the principles of good will
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this may become evil indeed." There is a huge gap between intentionally
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killing someone and accidentally killing someone, one that is certainly
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worthy of note. If it provides nothing else, taking the time to ask whether
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a decision is one you would be comfortable fully shouldering the blame for
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and if you would be comfortable if that decision was echoed throughout the
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world gives you time to thoroughly think through a choice. Differentiating
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between profound concerns and relatively trivial ones through the
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hypotheticals and categoricals is also valuable.
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Plato's Cave struck me, as well. It can takes one's previously
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infallible sense of what is real, and flip it around, kick it and poke at it
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a little, and leave you with a new, perhaps unsettling, perspective. It
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gives a profound twist to the phrase, "food for thought." After I first
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read this allegory on one of the first days of this semester in my Language
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Arts class, the concept of our lives being controlled by puppeteers
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manipulating shadows proceeded to dance about in my head for the rest of the
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day, and a number of days after. Whether this is taken in a political sense
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or a more religious one, the perspective it provides is invaluable.
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The next time I see "fish" spelled "ghoti" I will be reminded of
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Russell and Wittgenstein, and how they had far to much time on their hands.
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They made reasonable points -- it is impossible to know precisely what
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another person is attempting to express when you speak with them. However,
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I feel that is one of the beauties of speech and language. The vagueness of
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some words and the intricacies of others smack me around on a daily basis.
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The Metaphysical unit of this course intrigued me the most by far.
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Until I was about thirteen years old, my various religious education
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teachers at St. Therese were thoroughly convinced that I would become a nun
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one day -- "she sure knows her religion!" Apparently I was getting to know
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the Catholic Church a little too intimately for the tastes of some. After
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my teachers tired of my incessant questioning and I was shouted at on more
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than once occasion to "Stop asking questions! You shouldn't be questioning
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your religion. You are supposed to have faith!" From that point on, direct
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participation in organized religion left me with a repugnant taste in my
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mouth. I still remain fascinated by it, however -- the culture surrounding
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some of our world's long-standing faiths, as well as the dogma that is at
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their roots. I am not able to make these dogmas my own, however. I have
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remained a devout agnostic since I was thirteen years old, through threats
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of "you're going to go to hell!" and friends' not-always-subtle attempts to
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convince me to convert to their various faiths, from Aquinas's proofs of the
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existence of God to Anselm's ontological argument and Aristotle's unmoved
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mover. I have no fact-based, logical argument prepared for when I state my
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disagreement with their conclusions and explanations. All I can say is that
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I feel spirituality should be and, in fact, is an intensely personal
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experience, and not a choice that results from incessant exterior pressure.
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I simply cannot believe in God by playing the statistics -- 75% odds that a
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belief in God will save my soul from suffering eternal damnation or simply
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not waste my time is not a compelling reason to believe.
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Hume tickled me. I am not sure how else I could express Hume's
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effect on me. He tickled me. While he made strong points which are worthy
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of consideration, I an incapable of taking him seriously. Perhaps he was
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not taking his ideas seriously, either. Maybe he merely did not exist.
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Perhaps the Hume argument is worth utilizing the next time I want to hear a
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band or artist that is performing at the numerous establishments in Kansas
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City/Weston/Westport/Lawerence areas that serve alcohol, and therefore will
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not allow a minor through their doors -- "I don't exist! You can't prove I
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exist! Just try to keep me out." Unfortunately, I will probably be sobered
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somewhat when Big Mr. Door Man uses physical force to remove me from the
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premises. Ah well -- it looked good in theory.
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Hume's tickling kept my thoughts careening about inside my head for a
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number of days. It is entirely possible that I do not exist! Hume created
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opportunities for brainstorms I never dreamt I would be part of. I thought
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for well over a week about Hume's arguments and realized that I am not able
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to craft a reasonable rebuttal. His statements, as ridiculous as they may
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read, stand. Sure, I still think I exist -- but what evidence do I,
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personally, need to accept that "fact"? For the time being, I will trust in
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my senses to guide me.
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I learned a great deal about Marxism which my thoroughly
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Americanized, "Communism = EVIL!" mind had not been exposed to previously.
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I still maintain that Marxism is a lovely system, in theory. If the
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evolution of his dialectical materialism had been allowed to progress
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normally, perhaps we could have had 45+ years of peace instead of the
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nuclear arms race and Star Wars. I can relate to the problem of man's
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alienation from his work when he has little control over it, and recognize
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the maddening exploitation in the primal communal, slave, feudal, and
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capitalist societies. Perhaps if they had not been so greedy... but, ah!
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there is the problem. It seems to be impossible to implement a man-made
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system and have it work to the point where it can fulfill the boldest
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idealists' dreams. Human drives are indestructible, and it is those most
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natural of tendencies which cause the most mechanical and artificial of
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systems to crumble.
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In the end it was Tolstoy's My Confession who affected me most
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intensely. He too suffered an existential crisis:
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"My life came to a standstill....The truth was that life was
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meaningless. It was as though I had been living and walking along,
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and had come to an abyss, where I saw clearly that there was nothing
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ahead but perdition....
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"...I did not know myself what it was I wanted: I was afraid of life,
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strove to get away from it, and, at the same time, expected something
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from it."
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In many cases I found his words to be intensely familiar. He lived a
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seemingly perfect life -- he had money, an education, respect. I have many
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advantages -- I am well-liked by most (so far as I know), I have a
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supportive and close family, and that elusive <20>potential.<2E> Regardless, I do
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not have all the answers, nor will I pretend to. I must take my time to be
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pensive and ponder.
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About those issues which I have neglected to discuss in this paper,
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well, all I have to offer is a <20>maybe next time?<3F> coupled with a shrug. I
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expect to have to re-read all of my books in the near future to exercise my
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newly-gained philosophical perspective. My summer will be filled going over
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and over the Meditations, and perhaps reading The Apology once again, to
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give me strength in the face of apathy, indifference, and ignorance. A
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large block of time will be spent creeping around bookstores in search of
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writings by Nietzsche, Hume, Marx, Kierkegaard, Sartre, and especially
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Tolstoy. When I read Sophie's World again, it will be an entirely different
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experience than when I first read it. I have perspective! I may not have
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been able to make the most out of this course while I was a part of it, and
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I am saddened that I could not bring myself to take full advantage of it,
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but I refuse to let my mind atrophy further by letting that which I did
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ingest drift away. This paper will remain with me in the future, and will,
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in all likelihood, suffer through revisions at the mercy of my confused,
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questing adolescent brain. Hey, just think -- you could be holding a burst
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of brilliance in your hand. After dozens of revisions, this could be my
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masterpiece. Or maybe it won't be. At any rate:
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Though my continued reading will not appear on a progress report, nor
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will it be fit for mention on a college application, that which I have
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learned and will learn will know no confines, and that, ultimately, is what
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is truly important. What is my point of view concerning major philosophical
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issues studied in this class? It is still evolving. "I don't know." That
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is my honest answer.
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---
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Comments from my teacher:
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[ What on earth is wrong with this? It's insightful, honest, covers
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at least 80% of what we talked about, is beautifully written and shows a
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keen understanding of major issues. I'm proud of you for finally turning
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something in to me that shows your "potential" as "actuality." Most of what
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you've done this term has seemed sort of "last minute." I'm sure this was,
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too, but your intellect has allowed you to burst the bubble of indifference.
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Maybe a hair short, and with an unnecessary apologetic opening -- excellent
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work. 275/300 -- A]
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #190 -- written by MoonBagel -- 1/19/98 *
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