119 lines
7.3 KiB
Plaintext
119 lines
7.3 KiB
Plaintext
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$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #147
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$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
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$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
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$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
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$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
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$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
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$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
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$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
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>> "A Call-Us & Damnit! Adventure" <<
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by -> Whoops
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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So I get home at 9pm after a day of playing marathon and doing
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homework. My power is off. I swear under my breath. Yesterday it went off
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for 10 minutes but by the time I was on the phone with the power company it
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was back on. I'm hoping that it'll be another 10 minute affair, but no such
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luck. the apartment is pretty warm, the air conditioning has been off for a
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long time. Shit.
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So I called illinois power. After 20 minutes of explaining to them
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the complex situation of "My power is off and it's not my fault," they tell
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me to knock on doors and see if other people's power is off, and also call
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my landlord to see if the hole in the wall downstairs has anything to do
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with power. If i get a negative on both of those, I must call them back and
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they'll have a repairman at my place "in an hour or so, unless there's an
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emergency. That's not to say that your situation isn't an emergency, i
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mean, it's just that if there's a tree fallen on some wires or something
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that is what is a real emergency, you know what I mean?" really, Polly
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Power, you don't need to explain yourself to me. I know you have total
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'power' (ha ha pun) over me and there's nothing i can do should the
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repairman choose to take one hour or 5 to show up.
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So i knock next door, praying that someone actually lives there.
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Yes. Two kind souls do. And yes, their power is obviously on since they
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are watching tv in a nice lighted (wow, LIGHT, i forgot what that was like
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by this time) room. So i call the landlord (fortunately my roommate left his
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phone here. i only have one phone and it's a portable, which of coruse
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doesn't work when there's no power. lucky me, indeed!) and leave a 10
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minute rambling, whiny pitiful message on the answering machine, with such
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wonderful quotes as "well i guess i'll call tomorrow during business hours..
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oh shit, it's saturday, i guess i'll call on monday ARGHH".. Fortunately i
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stopped myself before the words "i can't believe i'm talking to an answering
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machine, let alone my landlord's" came out of my mouth.
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So i call back the friendly power people and explain to them that no,
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none of the breakers in my apartment are in the off position and yes, the
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neighbors have power so yes, they better get their little butt over here to
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fix their mistake. In the meantime I somehow convince the nice fellas next
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door that they want to let me hang out at their place until Peter Power
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shows up (although i later learned that his real name was Kevin). Within a
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few minutes there was a knock at the door and i thought.. no way, the power
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guy can't be here yet, can he? Nope.. it's the landlord's son, breathless,
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who tells me "the meter is flipped. the power company screwed up and they
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need to turn it rightside up. i could turn your power on, but it'd be
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illegal, so you have to wait for them." Okay i can live with that, now that
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i'm in a lighted, cooled room. So i go back to watching tv and talking to
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the two guys (one of them is a CS grad who TA'd cs 225 this last semester,
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warned me about my horrible professor, told me i never have to go to lecture
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since the TA's hate the professor so much they never base anything on the
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exams on lecture). We also watched space ghost coast to coast, cartoon
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planet and discussed the joy that is South Park. I figure i've lucked out to
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be 'stuck' with guys with such good taste.
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Eventually, Kevin Power shows up. He asks me where the meters are.
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I have my classic dumb look on by now. Meterwhat? I have no idea, i'm just
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a student not a power guru like you. So we go around the entire building
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and through the garage calling out for the stray meters. Nope. He shines
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his flashlight at a door in the garage, the only locked door of the three in
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the garage: "They're in there i'm sure. And i don't have no key. You're
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going to have to get the landlord to open that." So he goes off and leaves
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me to call the landlord back and chat with th emachine some more. This
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time, as soon as i identified myself someone picked up the phone and told me
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that the meters were in the garage and we must have missed them somehow, she
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described how they look to me and i went down and looked for them to no
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avail. By the time i called back she said she had talked to her husband
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(who is out of town, of course) and he said they were indeed in the locked
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room that Kevin pointed out. So she says she's going to drive over and open
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the door for me and we'll check out the meters ourselves and see what we can
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do. So i wait half an hour for her to show up, and we unlock the door and
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look "yep, the meter's flipped, yep it's got a lock on it and the power
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company has the key for that". Gee, what a surprise.
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So she says she'll let me into another apartment that has power for
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the night so i can sleep there, at least. I say "hey, what about B9?
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That's where i'm moving into next week ANYway." She says "we're coming in
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to clean the place at 8am, but sure" so she goes and tries her master key in
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the lock. No dice. So she tries her master key in the lock of every other
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apartment in the building. Nope. "I've got another set in the car, let me
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grab those"... Same deal. By this time i am laughing quite hard. The day
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is just too ironically horrible for me to do anything but. Quite a nice
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defense mechanism to have, let me tell you. So she asks to use my phone to
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page her son "who has my set of master keys. I loaned them to him and
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grabbed this set of keys on the way out. I *wondered* why they were lying
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in the office not being used.." We page him twice but no response. So i
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decide to call back Portia Power and get Kevin over here again to fix all my
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problems. After 20 minutes on hold he is paged and on his way and we go
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downstairs to wait for him. 30 or 40 minutes after that, he shows up. She
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unlocks the door, he goes in. He puts the special key in the lock for my
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meter and it is jammed. He can't seem to get the meter off the wall. But
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with a heave and a ho and a mighty throw, he finally does manage to flip it
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and put it back in and declare in his best jesus impersonation "Fiat Lux,"
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although he said it in english and with poor grammar.
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So the ending involves lots of hugs and kisses and effusive thankyous
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and goodbyes, and me waltzing up the stairs to my nice, cool, lighted
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apartment, and immediately turning on my computer to share this story with
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you all.
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Aren't you glad?
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #147 -- written by Whoops -- 12/12/97 *
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