221 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
221 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
moo. ** **** oink.
|
|
/** *///**
|
|
/** /* */* *****
|
|
***** ***** /****** /* * /* **///** ***** *****
|
|
///// ///// /**///** /** /* /******* ///// /////
|
|
/** /** /* /* /**////
|
|
/** /** / **** //****** hogs of entropy
|
|
// // //// ////// issue #111
|
|
|
|
>> "the rise of the mogels, part two" <<
|
|
by -> nybar
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
>>-+ JURRASIC MOGEL 2: the lost mogels!!! +-<<
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------
|
|
Mogel Island, 8:00
|
|
----------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
a wealthy british family picnics on a small island they got to
|
|
from their yacht. their daughter is being a bitch.
|
|
|
|
their daughter: "WHAWHAWHA! I'M A BITCH!"
|
|
|
|
The father: "FUCK!~@$# I"M A FUCKIN' ALCOHOLIC!@$ BEAT MY WIFE!
|
|
YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH@!#$@!#$!@$"
|
|
|
|
The mother: "Honey... take this big carrot RUN LIKE HELL!!"
|
|
|
|
their daughter takes the carrot and starts skipping merrily off.
|
|
the father CRACKS a whiskey bottle over his wifes head, and.. mad at her
|
|
for wasting whiskey, kicks her in the <snicker> pelvic reigon <chortle>
|
|
|
|
Daughter: *skipping* "Tra-lalalalalala, tra-lalalalalala."
|
|
|
|
the daughter looks down, and, about the size of a mid sized rock,
|
|
see's a full grown mogel.
|
|
|
|
Daughter: "Hey there cutey... how are you doin'?"
|
|
|
|
Mogel sniffs at the air, when he catches the carrots scent he
|
|
drools and, fearful of taking on such a big 8 year old girl by himself,
|
|
growls for his companions!
|
|
|
|
Mogel: "Growl!@"
|
|
|
|
lots of little mogels jump out of nowhere!
|
|
|
|
Daughter "MOMMEY DADDY, COME SEE THIS!! AIIiiIEEEEEEEE!#$_}#+#_%&"
|
|
|
|
the mogels are swarming over her big carrot, devouring it to
|
|
shreds!!
|
|
|
|
Daughter: "Get off all of you little jewish bastards! GET OFF
|
|
OF MY CARROT!$@!!"
|
|
|
|
the mother and father arrive.. and seem pretty indifferent to
|
|
their daughters carrot... then the father hits the wife and she SCREAMS
|
|
|
|
------------------------------
|
|
The mainland, somewhere in DE.
|
|
------------------------------
|
|
|
|
nybar walks along the street, and see's paranoid gay guy who wets
|
|
himself and needs to get a job.
|
|
|
|
Cerkit: "Dewd! I saw you on TV! Yer that Jurrasic mogel guy!"
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Wheet."
|
|
|
|
Cerkit: "NO! I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON! BWAHHH!!!"
|
|
|
|
a lightning bolt hits cerkit, and he catches fire and scapers
|
|
around madly, then falls down an open manhole and dies. they throw his
|
|
corpse out cause it's a *MAN* hole.
|
|
|
|
nybar walks inside a building that says "Jurrasic mogel insitute,
|
|
goes upstairs and see's jubjub, who has a white haired wig on, and is in a
|
|
sick bed with an IV next to him.
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Umm... what's with the hair and the IV?"
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "Trying to be true to the original movie, I'll lose em."
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Elite, can I have em? I can sell em for like 500 times
|
|
the retail to poor dewds."
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "I get 10 per."
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Deal!"
|
|
|
|
*they shake hands*
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "Oh.. umm... go to mogel island."
|
|
|
|
Nybar (his voice filled with emotion): "I...... nearly... lost..
|
|
a nice....salad... there.. BEFORRREEEEEE@!!$!@$!@$!@%&@!4"
|
|
|
|
a single tear rolls down nybar's cheek.
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "Umm.. your stupid black kid is going to sneak there with
|
|
you and I sent your cat already."
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Ummm.. black kid?"
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "Just trying to be true to the plot"
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Whatever"
|
|
|
|
*THWIP*
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "ohhh.."
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------
|
|
Some crazy cuban dudes boat.. umm... like.. 12:00
|
|
-------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Where the fuck am I?!! I thought I was talking to
|
|
jubjub!@$#@!$ I was going to reject his stupid offer and
|
|
send froboy to get my cat.."
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "I anticipated that, so I drugged you and crated you to
|
|
this boat."
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Now we're all going to this island full of 3 ft tall
|
|
vegetarian predators... WHOOOO!!!"
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "OH NO! I thought we would want to eat healthy so I
|
|
only packed SALAD!!!"
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "This is exactly what happened the last time... we're
|
|
DOOMED!"
|
|
|
|
Cuban dude: "Diablo!! Diablo! el es un oso!"
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "What'd he say?"
|
|
|
|
froboy jumps onscreen and says: "I dunno... but I wouldn't
|
|
wanna live there!!"
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "I believe he said this is the island of death where he
|
|
and his cuban friend have lost several salad lunches to
|
|
surly 4 ft tall vegetarin predators."
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Um.. I think he said "Devil, Devil, it is a bear."
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "Well.. I was close."
|
|
|
|
--------------------------------
|
|
on the island.... umm.... today.
|
|
--------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "I wonder where my cat is!"
|
|
|
|
nybar's Cat jumps onscreen and says: "So do I, but don't call
|
|
me often!!!"
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Um.. hi. So whats the purpose of this expedetion?"
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "To Observe. It is imperative we preserve the natural
|
|
balance! If even ONE MOGEL is killed it could be
|
|
DISATEROUS!"
|
|
|
|
nybar jubjub and froboy looks out at exactly 100 4 ft tall
|
|
mogels. nybar throws a carrot among the ranks and they all start fighting
|
|
over it, until only one is left.
|
|
|
|
Jubjub THINKS: "I can't take him anywhere."
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "well.. look over there! Cloning lab! lets just clone that
|
|
one who's left and 100 times and we'll have 101!"
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "Good idea! While your doing that, we'll set up a salad
|
|
lunch."
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "OK!"
|
|
|
|
nybar walks into the lab with the mogel. he clones it 100 times.
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Hmm... he would be happier if there were MORE mogels."
|
|
|
|
he clones it 5000 times... and then, despite his best efforts..
|
|
they run outside.
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
froboy takes a bite of his salad.
|
|
|
|
Froboy: "What's that pitter patter?"
|
|
|
|
nybar runs out of the lab and yells: "RUNNNN WITHHH THE
|
|
SALLLLLLAAAADDDDSSSS!!!"
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "YAHHHHHHHHH!@$!@)*@#%)*!@*!#@$"
|
|
|
|
Jubjub and froboy pick up their salads and start running like hell.
|
|
nybar quickly gets his and catches up to them.*
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "To the van!!"
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "Umm.."
|
|
|
|
they jump in the van and jubjub proceeds to drive it halfway off a
|
|
cliff.
|
|
|
|
<dramatic music plays and jubjub froboy and nybar act like
|
|
superhero's and state the obvious...>
|
|
|
|
Nybar: "The van is halfway off the cliff!"
|
|
|
|
Froboy: "It could fall any second!!!"
|
|
|
|
Jubjub: "And the mogel's are coming!!!!"
|
|
|
|
TO... BE.... CONTINUED!!
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
* (c) HoE publications. HoE #111 -- written by -> nybar -- 6/11/97 *
|