136 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
136 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
___ ___ ___
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/\ \ /\ \ /\__\ the glorious hogs of entropy
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\:\ \ /::\ \ /:/ _/_ present unto you
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\:\ \ /:/\:\ \ /:/ /\__\ issue #101
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___ /::\ \ /:/ \:\ \ /:/ /:/ _/_
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/\ /:/\:\__\ /:/__/ \:\__\ /:/_/:/ /\__\ >> "group therapy" <<
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\:\/:/ \/__/ \:\ \ /:/ / \:\/:/ /:/ / by -> trilobyte
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\::/__/ \:\ /:/ / \::/_/:/ / n
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\:\ \ o \:\/:/ / \:\/:/ / t oink you, pal.
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\:\__\ g \::/ / f \::/ / r
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\/__/ s \/__/ \/__/ o p y *gigglezz!*
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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"group therapy"
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by - trilobyte
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in the room was a circle of chairs full of people. two of those
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people were ralph and mary, a married couple of 25 years.
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"i wish that ralph didn't stink so much," mary said. "all he does
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all day is sit on the couch, watch tv, and eat cheetos."
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"it's not my fault i stink!" ralph replied. "If she would clean up
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the messes she makes with her chronic diarrhea, i wouldn't have to lay in
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piles of dried feces!"
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mary sat quietly for about a minute. then ralph suddenly stood up
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and hurriedly hobbled to the other end of the room.
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"pheeeeeew-eee! wear a fucking diaper," ralph yelled at mary. he
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then sat down on the radiator behind him because it was cold in the room.
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"sorry. i can't help it that i'm sick!"
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"you could shoo... ooo... oooOoOoOoOOOO!! hot damn!" ralph jumped
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off the radiator and ran out the door of the room.
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mary stood up and wiped off the chair. "i'm sorry folks," she said
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to the other members of the support group.
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they looked at her with knowing, caring expressions. she smiled
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back. "it sure is nice to have friends like you," she said back and then sat
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back down.
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bill walked into the room.
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"hey, mary, i saw ralph run out of the room holding his butt. what
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in the world happened?"
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"i had some diarrhea."
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"what does that have to do with his butt?"
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"nothing. he sat on the radiator. it probably burned his rear end."
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"aye!" bill shuddered and began to shake uncontrollably. he fell on
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the floor and moved around like a floundering fish. mary enjoyed the
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spectacle for a few minutes, then ralph walked back in.
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"damn it, my ass was burnt all to hell. remind me never to sit on
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the radiator again."
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"never sit on the radiator again."
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"shut your stinky, crusty ass up."
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"i can't. if i could, i wouldn't be here."
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"aren't we just full of wit? what happened here, you get a brain?
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oh, i see, bill is here. hi, bill."
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"howdy, there, ralph."
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"practicing your breakdancing again?" frank asked him.
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"no, actually, i'm having an epileptic seizure."
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"oh, that's too bad. sorry. anything i can do for you?"
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"nahh, i'll be ok."
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bill continued to flounder on the floor in the middle of the circle
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of chairs. the other members of the support group looked at him with
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knowing, caring expressions.
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after a few minutes, mary had another diarrhea attack. ralph smelled
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it immediately. this was really a bad one. he jumped up out of his chair
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and ran across the room to the window. he sat on the radiator.
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bill stopped wincing and floundering and stood up. "sorry," he said.
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"that's quite... all... riii.. iiIiIiIIIiIiIIII!!! AYEEE!" screamed
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ralph, as he jumped off the radiator and ran out of the room.
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mary stood up and bill sat down in her chair.
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"heh, my ass feels all squishy," bill told mary.
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"NO! THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD! TOO LOUD! AHHHH!" mary screamed. she
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put her hands to her ears and drudged around the room.
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"teach me german!" bill told mary.
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"NO! NO! NO!"
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"damn," bill said. he stood up and wiped off his ass. he then
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licked his hand clean. "when are you going to get rid of all these dolls
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you have in these chairs," he asked mary. "If someone saw this, they'd
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think you and ralph were a couple of insane fools."
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"THE MUSIC! IT HURTS MY EARS! STOP THE MUSIC! --- ahhh.
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thanks," mary said, and then she sat back down in her chair. "i don't
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think that this counseling is doing any good for our marriage."
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"our marriage? i thought you were married to ralph," bill said.
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"that's what i mean. i'm divorcing ralph. tell him that when he
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comes back in. i don't think that he ever wants to see me again. he's
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probably gone forever. this damn counseling has done more bad than good.
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you hear me, you stupid fools? YOU'RE AS GOOD AS A BUNCH OF STUFFED
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FUCKING WOODLAND CREATURES! get bent."
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with that, mary left the room. bill sat down in mary's chair and
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waited for ralph to return. bill had to tell ralph about mary's desire
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to split up. as he waited for ralph to come back, he thought about mary's
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comment. it would be neat to have some scenes in his home that contained
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stuffed woodland creatures fucking. bill got quite a bit of pleasure
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thinking about that. one scene in the living room with some beavers,
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one in the kitchen with snakes and bears, so many possibilities...
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however, ralph never returned, and bill died.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #101 -- written by trilobyte -- 6/11/97 *
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