318 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
318 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
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OINK! OINK OINK BABY!
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OINK!
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# ###
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MOO! # # #
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# ### # # # ####
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## # # # # # #
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# # # # # #####
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# # # # # 95 MOO!
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# # ### ####
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Hogs Of Entropy
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OINK!
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|---------|
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| | <- if you look close enough you can see the
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| | invisible hog, he is inside hiding.
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Hey people this is Metalchic, writing another wacky issue of Hoe, but
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this time I actually WROTE (I felt SASSY! hee hee) something for it.. wow
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metalchic write.. hmm I don't think that is possible. Well it is.. and
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here is it!
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3Y3z D0N'7 b33 N33D1n D4T M0G3L N0 M0R3!
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This is about something i was thinking about before i went to sleep last
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night. It's about how dumb most girls are, when you read it you will know
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what I am talking about. HAVE FUN.. READ AWAY!
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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Girls are Dumb.
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Written by metalchic .-----------------.
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| GIRLS ARE DUMB! |
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|_________________|
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\ O
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oo > - I'm dumb tEE! hEE!
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\)
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/ \
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I've been going out with Sara for a short time. I really don't know how
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long, she usually keep up with that stuff. She is the kind of girl that
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keeps up with all the new trends and listens to the same music as everyone
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else. She was 16 years old, and I was 18. She acted like such a child, I
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really hated her, I just used her for all the good head she gave me, she
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was always to scared to have sex. She would tell me how much she loved
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me, I would look at her and quickly change the subject, she didn't have a
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clue what love was, she didn't know much about anything. I didn't love
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her, I couldn't stand her, everything about her was so annoying. When
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she would call I would try not to be home but, I was here today and I
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picked up the phone. I didn't want to talk to her but, i had to.
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I got up from my bed and quickly picked up the phone.
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"hello."
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and in her annoying squeaky voice that I hated so much, she
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spoke.
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"HI IT'S ME WERE YOU SLEEPING?"
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"No, what do you wan't?"
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"WANT TO GO OUT."
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"okay i'll pick you up."
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"OKAY BYE I LOVE YOU!!"
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"i'll be right over."
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"bye."
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*click*
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I know it was mean to hang up on her like that but I really didn't care
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she wasn't anything special to me, she was just another girl. I know when
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I got the her house the first thing she would say to me was, "HI, WHY DID
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YOU HANG UP ON ME LIKE THAT? YOU KNOW THAT MAKES ME SO UPSET."
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and then I would come up with some cheezy excuss so I wouldn't have to
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hear it from her.
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So got up from my bed, picked up a pair of pants from the floor, got a
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shirt from the closet, put my coat on and went outside. I got into my
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1979 Chevy Impla, it was blue and the paint was chipped of of it, I
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always hated this car but I couldn't afford anything better.
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Then shut the door and turned the key. I put a tape in the car and
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started singing so I didn't have to think about going to her house. When
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I got there she ran out of the house and came up to the car before I could
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even open my car door, She always did that, she was always excited when I
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came over. She was to happy all the time. We were totally oppisit and
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had nothing in common so I never had anything to say to her, if I asked
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her about some new band or something she would be like, "WHO IS THAT?"
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She looked at me and said, "WHY DID YOU HANG UP ON ME LIKE THAT?"
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Then I turned to her and said, "My mom was calling me, i had to go." She
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belived everything I said, as if she looked up to me or something. "OK
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COOL, YOUR MOM IS SO NICE." I looked confused, "My mom nice, heh." I
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smirked. "I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU." I knew she was going to ask me to
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do something, she is so predictable. "STACEY IS HERE CAN YOU DRIVE HER
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HOME PLEASE." "Okay."
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So I sat in the car and waited for her thinking what a bad idea this was
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going to be, her friends are more annoying then she is, I don't know why I
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am still going out with her, maby I should break it all off today, maby I
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should just tell her how I feel. She came out with Stacey, and they were
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whispering to eachother and giggling. Stacey was so much cuter than Sara,
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Sara knew that too, and she would ask me constantly if she was, and I
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would always lie to her and tell her that she was hot, and Stacey was
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nothing. She would just smile, kiss me, and then tell me she loved me,
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and that I was the greatest thing that ever happened to her.
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So the both of them hopped in the car Sara in the front, Stacey in the
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back. I started the car up. Sara was just sitting there trying to
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talk to me and Stacey was sitting in the back staring at me in the
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mirrior as if I didn't even notice. We got to Stacey's house and we
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dropped her home. Then they did that annoying thing, "BYE S!!,"
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"Bye S." She tried making conversation again and said, "WHERE DO YOU WANT
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TO GO?" trying not to hear her, I didn't say anything. "OKAY LETS GO TO
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THE DINER." "Okay."
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We got to the diner and we got out of the car, I thought I would be nice
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and open her door, boy was I wrong. "OH THAT WAS SO NICE OF YOU *kiss*
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THESE ARE THE LITTLE THINGS THAT BRING US TOGETHER YA KNOW. I MEAN FOR A
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SECOND I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME ANYMORE BUT THEN YOU DID THAT... YOU
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ARE JUST SO NICE, I LOVE YOU." We walked into the door and the waiter
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approched us, "Two?" We both nodded. He seated us and gave us both
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menus.
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her: I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY, CAN YOU BUY ME SOMETHING?
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me: Sure, get whatever you want. (she always expected me to pay for her,
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but I had just as much money as she did.)
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her: DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS HUN?
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me: Friday?
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her: NO, HOW COULD YOU FORGET WHAT DAY IT IS?!@
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me: okay Sara, what's today?
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her: WE HAVE BEEN GOING OUT FOR 2 LONG MONTHS, AND I KNOW WE HAD SOME
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PROBLEMS THROUGHOUT THE RELATIONSHIP BUT IT IS OUR TWO MONTH
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ANNIVERSARY.
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me: (as if this was a REAL relationship, and I really cared) I shruged
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and said, oh thats nice.
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her: DO YOU EVEN CARE??? THIS IS SPECIAL TO ME, AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE DO
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YOU?
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me: I care, i'm just not in a good mood, my dog died yesterday.
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her: FERMALDIHIDE!! YOUR DOG, I AM SO SORRY.
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me: yeah, I am heartbroken, really. (sarcastic smirk)
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her: I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU SAD, SORRY.
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me: It's okay.
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the waiter comes up, "would you like anything to drink?"
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her: I WOULD LIKE A STRABERRY MILKSHAKE WITH A LITTLE SWIRL OF WHIPPED
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CREME ON THE TOP, AND IF IT IS POSSIBLE CAN YOU PUT A CHERRY ON TOP?
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wtr: And you sir?
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me: Just a coke will be fine.
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The waiter walked away with a confused look on his face.
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her: I GOT YOU SOMETHING.
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me: What?
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her: A PRESENT FOR THIS SPECIAL DAY.
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me: okay, cool. Sorry I didn't get you anything, I uhh.. uhm have to
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save up for a new paint job on my car.
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her: THAT'S OKAY AS LONG AS OUR LOVE LASTS FOREVER! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET
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ME ANYTHING.
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me: (I suddenly got a sick feeling in my stomach, her forever.) Hold on I
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have to go to the bathroom.
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her: OKAY IT WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU AT THE TABLE.
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I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I don't know why I did, she only
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said one thing. After this I knew I had to do it, I had to break up with
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her, I didn't like this feeling at all. I washed my mouth out with water
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lit up a cigarette and went back to the table.
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her: YOU SHOULD STOP SMOKING.
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me: No, I enjoy smoking. It keeps me going.
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her: COULD YOU PLEASE NOT BLOW IT IN MY EYES?
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me: Sure. (I moved my cigarette to the other side of the table)
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The waiter walked up and brought out drinks.
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wtr: Are you ready to order?
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her: YES, I WOULD LIKE I STEAK DINNER AND A SIDE ORDER OF FRIES.
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me: I would just like fries, thank you.
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wtr: okay, i'll be back.
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me: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, THAT IS GOING TO COST LIKE $20, I DON'T HAVE
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THAT KIND OF MONEY!
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her: PLEASE DON'T YELL AT ME, I HATE WHEN YOU YELL AT ME, JUST OPEN YOUR
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PRESENT.
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me: Fine. (I opened the card, it was a love card, and she wrote on the
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inside "You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, I
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want you to be happy, I love you so much you don't know how much I
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love you. I may not show it sometimes, but really deep in my heart I
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love you, with heart and soul. Love Sara." That was just sick, I
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had a disgusted look on my face. I took a drag of my cigarette)
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her: WHAT?
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me: Nothing I got smoke cought in my throat.
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her: OH OKAY, I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, OPEN THE GIFT!
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me: okay. (she had this happy look in her face like she was doing
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something good. So I unraveled the teddy bear paper to find a Bush
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cd, I hated Bush, I hated her music, I hated all of it.) Thanks.
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her: DO YOU LIKE IT?
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me: uhm yeah, thanks.
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her: I love you.
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The waiter came back up to the table, "here is you're food."
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He placed the food on the table and we began to eat.
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her: THIS IS SO GOOD!
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me: yep.
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We ate for awhile, about 10 minuites passed and I finished my food, she
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was still eating her steak dinner. I really didn't want to buy it for
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her, but i did.
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her: YOU KNOW I REALLY LOVE YOU.
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me: Oh.
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her: WHY DON'T YOU EVER SAY IT BACK?
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me: (I had to tell her, I couldn't live with this anymore, I couldn't
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take her annoying self. So I said it.) Sara, I don't love you.
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She dropped her fork and looked at me like she was about to cry.
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her: YOU WHAT?
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me: I don't love you, I never loved you, I never even liked you. (I felt
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bad, she stared cring)
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her: I CAN'T *sniff* BELIVE THIS, WHY? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU. I DI...
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I OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIV.. BE... I CAN'T BELIVE YOU!! *sniff*
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me: I'm sorry.
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her: WHY? WHY? WHAT DID I EVER DO?
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me: (she was crying in her food.) Stop cring, I will tell you the whole
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truth, just stop we are in the middle of a resturant.
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me: (I called for the waiter) CAN WE GET A CHECK HERE PLEASE?
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He came and brought the check, I paid and we quickly left.
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me: Why do you have to make such a big scene?
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her: I LOVED Y.. YO.. YOU.
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me: you don't know what love is, you know nothing, you are 16 years old,
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you are annoying I can't stand you, you tend to piss me off all the
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time, and I can't take it anymore. I don't like your music, I don't
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like the clothes you wear, I don't like anything about you.
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her: JUST DRIVE ME HOME NOW, I CAN'T HEAR THIS ANYMORE, IT IS UPSETTING ME
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TO MUCH! *cry*
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So I drove her home, I didn't know what to say. We got to her house and
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no one was home, she was in tears. "I'm sorry Sara." She looked at me
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with tears in her eyes, "YOU ARN'T SORRY, YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT I HATE
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YOU, DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN. I HATE YOU SO MUCH, HOW COULD YOU DO
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THIS TO ME?" I just looked at her, I didn't know what to say, i was not
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good at this. "Sara." "WHAT." "You can have your cd back, I know you
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want it more than I do. She grabbed it from me opened the car door and
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ran inside.
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I didn't know, I felt so bad, I just couldn't deal with it anymore. She
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just pissed me off all the time, i hated it. I got home, got out of my
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car and walked inside. My mother came in and immidatly yelled at me.
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"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, YOU KNOW YOU ARE SUCH
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A LITTLE SHIT."
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I just looked at her, I was so confused, I just walked in what did I do?
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"What the hell did I do"
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"YOU ARE SO MEAN TO ALL THE GIRLS YOU GO OUT WITH, AFTER YOU AND LISA
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BROKE UP YOU HAVE BEEN SO MEAN TO GIRLS, HOW DID IT FEEL WHEN LISA DUMPED
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YOU, YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, YOU SAT IN THIS HOUSE AND MOPED AROUND FOR TWO
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MONTHS, AND NOW YOU ARE DOING IT TO GIRLS. I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON YOUR
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GIRLFRIEND JUST CALLED ME."
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I knew she was right, but she just didn't understand.
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"Whatever mom, I'm going out."
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I thought to myself, She called my mom, what a little bitch. It bothered
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me so much. How can she be so immature? Why the hell did I go out with
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her? So I went out and played some pool with the boys, when I got home I
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had 13 diffrent messages from Sara, telling me that she was sorry, and
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more bullshit.
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I didn't know what to do, I just couldn't live with it.
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*ring*
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*ring*
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I picked up, I knew it was her, I felt so bad. So I picked up the phone,
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I really didn't want to, but I just did.
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me: Hello.
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her: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?
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me: I went out and played pool.
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her: YOU KNOW YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE, I REALLY HATE YOU, YOU ARE SUCH A
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LOSER, I CAN'T BELIVE YOU.
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me: (I was mad at this point, that was it, I didn't want to hear this
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shit) If i'm such a loser then why are you calling me, why did you
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call my mom? What the hell was that shit? Why the fuck do you act
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like such a little girl? Why don't you just leave me alone if i am
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such a loser?
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her: I'M KILLING MYSELF. BYE!
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*click*
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I knew she really wasn't going to do it. But I never heard from her after
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that. I saw her friends, and they would always give me dirty looks. I
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always wondered what happened to her.
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Is this the end? Oh wait footer, uhm.
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(c) HoE Publications & metalchic. HoE #95 - 11/29/96 IT'S BLACK FRIDAY!
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