405 lines
18 KiB
Plaintext
405 lines
18 KiB
Plaintext
______ ______ ______________
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| | | | \ |
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\ / \ / ____ \ _______|
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| |________| | / \ | |____
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| ________ | ( {} ) | _____)
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/~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | \____/ | |______ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
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| |~~~~~~~ / \ / \ / | ~~~~~~~~~| |
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| | |______| |______| /_____________| | |
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| | | |
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| | H0gs of Entr0py TeXt Fi1es Pr3sent...a didactic text file... | |
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| | "I'm a Chick, You Obviously Want Me" | |
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| | By: the demure literary | |
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| | vixen, cRAnK | |
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\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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You all want me.
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There's nothing else I can say. I've been in the "modem scene" for
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what's closing in on two years now, and I've met maybe one person whom I
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can't at least coerce into flirting with me. Whether they're dating or not.
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Hell, I've gotten six *married* guys to ask me if I'd like to come over,
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maybe watch a movie "or something like that heh heh". Numerous freaks of the
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computer world have asked me on numerous dates I don't want to go on, all
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because I'm female and I'll acknowledge them. <shrug>
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Ps. The names have been changed to protect these assholes from the
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insane and deleterious masses.
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Point 1: The Entire MBBS System
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======== --- ------ ---- ------
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I just got out of the shower. If I were to, instead of writing this
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beautiful t-file, call my favorite MBBS and relay this choice tidbit of
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information to almost any male there, I already know what the response would
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be:
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:[From CompuLoser]: huh huh were you naked? and wet?
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No. I prefer to take my showers adorned in full three-piece pinstriped
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suits. Penny loafers reliant on my mood.
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Now, some of you out there may be saying "well, gee cRAnK, you were
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really asking for it by telling him you were in the shower." Sure. I very
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well could have been "asking for it", probably much in the same way that
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women ASK to be raped.
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It's rather pathetic, but sometimes, no, most of the time I don't have
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to say anything even closly related to being derobed to be hit on in this
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overtly 13-year-old-just-discovering-the-benefits-of-my-right-hand manner.
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Sometimes I receive pages from people I've never heard of with beauties like
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this one attached:
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:***
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Hotcock is paging you from Menuing System: wanna hot chat?
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I just find it rather irritating that simply because I was born female
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and happen to have an interest in computers that I must endure this sort of
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degradation from total strangers. Even worse when it comes from people I've
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known for awhile and thought I knew better. For example, I've known this one
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for close to a year now, and I actually got this the other day, no lie:
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:[From SexyStud (whispered)]: i'm really horny..so what are you going to do
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about that?
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Sure, had he been joking, I'd be more than happy to play along with him,
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at least until he became tiresome. For those of you who don't know me, I'm
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a terrible flirt, actually, I've become quite good at it, but it's only fun
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until they start taking me seriously. Or if that's all I get back from them.
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Being taken seriously is something else that makes me twitch. I enjoy
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joking around. I like a sense of humor; who doesn't? It's pretty obvious I'm
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teasing someone; unless one has absolutely no reasoning skills at all it
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isn't difficult for one to tell I'm a flirt. So why have I had two people
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I've never even met in reality tell me they love me? I shit you not.
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Have some insight, fellas. You only love my character.
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I like to talk to people. That's why I call these boards. I like to see
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how long it takes for them to ask me out, to offer me gifts or the occasional
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sexual favor, or at the least to ask for my measurements. It's fun to see if
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I can manipulate this one, or ooh that one because he says he's "built" in
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his registry, or that one because he's already someone's boyfriend. It's all
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a large game being played by a lot of people. Or maybe it's just a way to
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play the people themselves. It makes no difference.
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The whole thing just turns me into a bigger and more obstinate
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misanthrope every additional day I expose myself to it.
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Stupid fucking lemmings.
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Point 2: Reply to All My Posts. Now.
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======== ----- -- --- -- ------ ----
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Renegade, Wildcat, Spitfire, PC Board, Oblivian/X, whatever, it makes
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about two beans of difference to me, anywhere a female can post will suit
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my cause. It's all a rather interesting menegarie of muddled conversations,
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bits of patter and occasionally something actually worthwhile.
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Regardless, what I'm getting to is how females are treated on these
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systems. If someone posts a question, for instance, and I know the answer,
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I'll post back. Big deal, right? So why does someone then have to reply to
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my post with a sexual innuendo? No matter what I post.
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date: 3:12 am Fri June 2, 1995 number : 33 of 34
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from: Crank base : it matters not
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to : Missionary Boy refer #: 32
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subj: re: math test! replies: none
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stat: normal origin : local
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Mi> does anyone know what the square root of 25 is?
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eye kN0w! 1t's /=1\/E!@#$ eye em 5m4/~t!!@&
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cRAnK
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Please realize I'm simply mocking the millions of brilliants who
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a) don't know the square root of 25 and b) actually type like that. <shrug>
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It's a bad habit I picked up from our HoE leader, Mogel. (Hi m0g)
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Shh! Let's see the reaction my post gets!
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date: 10:23 pm Sat June 3, 1995 number : 34 of 34
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from: SexMeUp base : it matters not
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to : Crank refer #: 33
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subj: re: math test! replies: none
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stat: normal origin : local
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Cr> eye kN0w! 1t's /=1\/E!@#$ eye em 5m4/~t!!@&
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Cr> cRAnK
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your like a real genious. can i lick you're engorged nipple?
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Alright, this wasn't such a good example but I'm sure the smarter ones
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in the group will at least understand my basic principle. And no matter what
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I reply in return, maybe not even anything except tons o' badmouthing for
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this "genious" here, I'll get another advance in return. It's pathetic.
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Okay, I can admit that sometimes I'll flirt at someone for absolutely
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no reason whatsoever. It's in my nature. It amuses me. (Author's note: those
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things that "amuse" me are in no way funny..just amusing. If you can grasp
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that concept, maybe it's reserved for those whom have an iq higher than their
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waist size. <shrug>) So I'm saying I'm as much at fault as the minions I
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control, except I'll at least try to be humerous about it. Let's say I made
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the mistake of mentioning to someone I was wearing red panties. It's the
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difference between
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"You only wear red underwear because of all the blood."
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and
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"Well, you know how you are with red in that area..."
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It's whether someone replys with something rude, obnoxious, annoying,
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insensitive, or just disgusting as opposed to something that will at least
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*think* about eliciting a smile on a grim and slack countenance.
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By the way, this conversation actually occured. The first reply was made
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by an anonymous loser, we'll call him Xnirys, completely without cause. The
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second was from a friend of mine, whom henceforth will be referred to as
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Eguficul, which was offered as a preferred alternative while we discussed
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Xnirys' completely uncalled-for comment. And you shush, this is anon. Those
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handles aren't written backwards.
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Point 3: Manipulation is /<3\x/|_!
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======== ------------ -- ---------
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I don't mind saying it, I manipulate people. Hell, I'm proud of the fact
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most of the time. I don't do it to anyone that means anything to me, of
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course, but I just think it's horrible that it's so *simple*. It's one of the
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easiest things I've found to do in the modem world that actually pays off.
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"How," one might ask, "would one go about this act of manipulation that
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causes you so much joy, cRAnK?" Well, average t-file reader, that's a tough
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one. I've had people, people I hate and bitch at, give me money. "w0w!@#$
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h0w??@" Well, sometimes I don't know. One gentleman (term used loosly) I met
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online I did nothing but scream at. An actual piece of our conversation:
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:[From MasochisticAtHeart]: this is a kewl board
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:>mas You are a lamer. You are obviously incapable of even spelling the word
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"cool" correctly. Please die soon.
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-- Message directed to MasochisticAtHeart --
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:[From MasochisticAtHeart]: what is your name?
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:>mas I refuse to speak to you if you cannot even direct a message to me when
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there are others in the Teleconference channel. If you want to know anything,
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read my registry and leave me the hell alone.
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--Message directed to MasochisticAtHeart --
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:[From MasochisticAtHeart (whispered)]: can i have your number? id' like to
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talk to you more.
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I'm not always this anal, only when the situation calls for it.
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Mind you, this lasted at least half again an hour, and this man,
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cunningly called MasochisticAtHeart, was 27. He was aware at the time that I
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was 16. I got *his* number and called him and yelled at him and the like.
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Fairly badly. He was quite humbled. A little while later, the MBBS board on
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which I spoke to him (I should say spoke AT him) went pay. This was that
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evening's conversation:
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:[From MasochisticAtHeart (whispered)]: hi. are you going to pay?
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:/mas No way. I have better things to spend my money on than a silly BBS.
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-- Message sent only to MasochisticAtHeart --
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:[From MasochisticAtHeart (whispered)]: how about if i pay for your account?
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i miss takling to you on line.
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:/mas It's your money, you can do with it as you please.
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-- Message sent only to MasochisticAtHeart --
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:[From MasochisticAtHeart (whispered)]: okay i'll talk to the sys-op
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Go figure.
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Point 4: Everyone's an idiot
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======== ---------- -- -----
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Anyone will talk to anybody these days, about any topic your hormone-
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drenched little mind can conjure up. A perfect example occured the other day,
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strangely enough just in time for this t-file <shrug>. Mogel, our prized
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leader, and his anonymous friend (who we'll just call Frannie) stopped by my
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house for a little while. We partied, but that's not my point here.
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Mogel, seeing my term program, immediately dialed in to a MBBS system
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(which is not getting plugged in this file, no sir!) and called myself and
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Frannie over. "Watch this," he cautioned us. He actually picked out randomly
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someone on the board and started chatting with them. Choice pieces of his
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chat appear below. Mogel leads.
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what's your favorite type of cheese?
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Cheeze Whiz
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mE t0o!@!!@1 uh, do you masturbate?
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of course
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uhh.. how much do you masturbate? how often?
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too often
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like, gimme an idea.. c'mon..
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uhh... I don't really keep count
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liar. is it per day?
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uhhh... more than once per day
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wow. how do you do that?
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Great enduarnace and porno texts
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hahaha.. where do you get porno texts? teehee.
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hehe people upload them to my mini board
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A bit later on...Mogel again leads.
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okay. what's the meaning of life?
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Too eat fuck and have fun
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but if your masturbating more than once a day, do you count that as sex?
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no, fun
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oic. that's very interesting. have you ever masturbated while you were
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sitting in FRONT of your 'puter?
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I read the txts off my computer so yea
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i mean, like, do you do it under, over or on the keyboard?
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hehe no
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which one?~@!@#!!!!#!~!#~!@!~
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No, No, No
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uh, then what do you do? do you walk off to another room or something?
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I fly around the room grabbing myself and screaming "WHHHEEEEEEE"
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don't patronize me!#!@@!
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It's okay to be scared. Our penis-bound friend begins this section.
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Ok master. uhh i sit in a chair and do my duty
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neat. and like do you push away from your computer or somethin'?
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I don't have a mobile chair
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so it's like under your desk?
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Uhh... not really..
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what do you do?!?! c'mon!@#!@#!@@@#!251#$!@!@53
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Well i sit there, i'm not under i'm in front
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ohhh! i get it. Are you uh, are you into GIFs?
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slightly
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uh, like, what's your favorite type of GIF?
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Uhh... Famous and lesbians
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that's pretty sharp.
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No, wait! There's more! Cue Mogel.
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am i annoying you?
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nope
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good. then tell me who is your favorite sex txt story about?
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It's about this lady and her next door neighboor, who is her sons age comes
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over and he like gets her into all these positions , except she's like a
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really hot mom and the it's got to be one of like 3 well written txts i've
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seen out of hun hundreds
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are you masturbating right now?
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nope
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are you sure? that was _quite_ a recap. uh, are you even a little..excited?
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teehee a little i guess, you want me to upload it right now
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Alright, I think I've tortured you with that quite enough. My reason,
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you may ask, is just to show that any of these poor bastards will chat with
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ANYONE who wants to. About anything. Please note: Mogel and Frannie and I all
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had a nice hearty laugh over this one. He does not do this when he is alone,
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honest. Also note that our semen-laden asshole here hardly ever talks to
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Mogel, let alone talks with him about anything of a personal nature. They
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don't even know each other's real first names.
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I'd like to quickly comment that he ascii-uploaded his "favorite" sex
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text file into the chat, but I was nice enough to cut that part out. None of
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us watching went off to read it and, say, jerk off into my trashcan, and then
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waltz out and proudly proclaim it, much as someone ELSE did...(if you'd like
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the story, Mogel, Frannie, and various others besides myself would be happy
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to relate it to you in all of it's gory detail.)
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Back to my point, why would someone be willing to reveal information of
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this personal a nature to an almost total stranger? Are you that lonely? Do
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you crave attention so badly that you feel forced to go to this extreme to
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get it, whether that attention is malignant or not? <sigh>s and <shudder>s
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all around.
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Point 5: I could be MALE!
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======== - ----- -- -----
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To clear up any immediate confusion, no, I am not male. However, while
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you flirt with me, and buy me accounts, and ask me my bra size, and tell me
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I sound cute, you really have no idea whether I'm wearing a cup or not. I
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would like to print my actual registry for a "popular" MBBS I frequent,
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right in this HoE, flirtatious or not. (Idiots: the answer is the former.)
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:/r crank
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Ok, here's the info for Crank...
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Real Name: alishia =) Sex: f Age: 16?
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Aliases: cRAnK
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City/State: media, aka bumblefu*k
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Voice Phone#: ask i'll decide
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Physical Description: 5'2, 94lbs, br/gr/pr hair, blue eyes, 48-24-26. oops,
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that was my locker
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Comp. Phone#: soon BBS: <20>sanction<6F>
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Favorite Movie: you're watching? ;) Favorite TV Show: tv sucks
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Favorite Music: metal and punk Instrument Played: drums, bass
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Favorite Foods: wild strawberries
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Favorite Sport: hockey. flyers rule.
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Other Hobbies/Interests: reptiles and computers.
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General Info: <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>"i'll do anything i can
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to find a way to stop the wheel." -daryl
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Summary: IStriveForIndividualityLikeEveryoneElse
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That's really not all that bad, is it? I don't believe so. A bit flirty,
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a bit humorous, all real. My locker combination actually *is* 48-24-26. You
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wouldn't believe how many comments I get on that one..with one of three main
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ideas behind it and three main responses in front of it:
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:***
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SweatyLove is paging you from Farwest Trivia: hehe i like your locker combo
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thingy. that's funny. :)
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:/p sweaty Hey thanks. Glad I can amuse someone. :)
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Paging SweatyLove...
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:***
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SuckMeOff is paging you from MajorMUD: are those your real measurements?
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:/p suck Yes. My chest is larger than my head, double D cups. Makes a
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fabulous snack-tray.
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Paging SuckMeOff...
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:***
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Romeo is paging you from Teleconference: you have big titts
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:forget romeo
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Okay, you will not receive any of Romeo's whispers, pages, chat
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requests, or invitations. You will also not see any of his public
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messages or actions and Romeo has been uninvited from your private
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channel. Enjoy the peace and quiet!
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It's all really rather amusing. For all these people know, I could be
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some hulking 700-pound slob with three chins, drooled milkshake down my
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front, a piece of fried chicken in each hand, licking my stained teeth and
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scratching at the lice in my greasy, stringy hair. Nice image, huh? Even
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nicer when you add that I'm sitting there in my old stained boxer shorts.
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Make me a male. Jerk off to that, Sparky.
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The ability to hide behind one's keyboard astounds me. People believe
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anything you tell them. So naive, so trusting...so foolish. You wonder why
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your friend Trixie just got her sweet little heart broken again? Most guys
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are the same way I just described (at least those I've come in contact with,
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with some obvious exceptions [you know whom you are]). When you give trust,
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you give access to a little part of you for someone to hurt. If there's the
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option, someone is going to take it.
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And when you get played, when someone takes your heart and grounds it
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out under the toe of their sneaker, don't come crying to me.
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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| _____ Call Goat Blowers Anonymous for the LATEST HoE! _____ |
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| 6/ ^..^ (215) 750 - 0392 ^..^ \9 |
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| \_____(oo) This Issue's Featured ELiTE WaReZ Board is: (oo)_____/ |
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| WW WW \ Demonic Image / WW WW |
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| moo. (215) 464 - 5794 i am lunch. |
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| ...the kings of modern goofiness... |
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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Copyright (c) 1995 HoE Publications and cRAnK and some junk. #82 -> 06/16/95
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All rights and hugs to Tim. Greets and love to Spiff. Tailfeathers to all.
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Post-File Message: If you saw your own pathetic self in this t-file, feel
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free to email me on GBA! I'd love to hear what you think <chuckle>.
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This space for rent.
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