2278 lines
109 KiB
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2278 lines
109 KiB
Plaintext
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.........
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d@@@OOOOHlb
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d@@OOOHlb .........
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d@OOOHb .... dOOOOOOOOOb ...................
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dOOOHOd@OOOb dOOOOOOOOOOOb d@@@OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOb
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dOOOOOd@@@OH dO@@@@@@@@@@@Ob d@@OOOOO@@@@@' `@OOO@b
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dOOOH `@@@H dOOO@@@@@@ @@Ob d@OOOO@@@@@@@ @@@OO@@b
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d@OO' O@H dOOOOOOO@@@@ @@Ob dOOOdOOOOOOOOOOOO@@@H
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d@@OO dOOH HOOOOOOOOO@@@@ @@OH dOOOHslave
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d@@@Oo ldOO@H dOOOOOOOOOOO@@@@@Ob d@OOH d@@@b
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zzzzz zddOO@@b dOOOOOOOOOOOO@@Ob d@@@OdOOOOOOOOOOdOOO@@H
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dldOO@@@b dOOOOOOOOOO@OOb d@@OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO@H
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zzzzzzz dOOOOOOOOOOOb d@@@OOOOOOOOOOOOO@@@@b
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dOOOOOOOOOd zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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zzzzzzzzz
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\-[ pH0Q yEAH! aNZi pH0REVER@!@! tHe h0gZ oF eNtR0pY! HoE-Date #4 ]-/
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y0z!@!@ wElk0Me teW d3 h0eDAtE aND sH1t. aWWW YEAH! b4 y0U l0ZeRz SaY
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"KrAP! m0GeL wUz sT00piT eN0UgH t0 mAKe tHE wh0LE h0E dAYtE iN k-RAD tYPE!@1"
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y0U aRe Wr0Ng, dUMBaZs. ThIZ iZ jUZt mY iNtr0 sT00pIT. AnYwAY, LiKE cHeCK
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oUt d1Z sH1t. EyE l00kEd aT h0E ph0R a WhiLE aNd apHTeR maNy sUGGEsTi0Nz 0N
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#ansi EyE dEcIdEd iT wAz ab0UT tYme h0E HaD AnZi rEvIeWz lIkE aLL tHE 0THeR
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MaGz iN tHErE!@!@!1 aREn'T eYE eLiTE aND a p00kA!@!@ [Harvey was a pooka].
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pHUK. LeT'Z jUzT sKiP aLl dE b0RIN' mUtHApHuCkIn St00pit aSS sHeeeAT
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aND sKip rIgHt to tHe mUTHApHucKiN aNzI rEViEWZZ!@! HeLL yEAH!#@!#!@ EyE
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g0Tz a MuTHApHuCKiN' G1RLeE tEw SkREW:
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____________________________________________________________________________
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| Release | Rating | Review (da part no one reads) |
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|________________|________|__________________________________________________|
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| ACiD - 4/95 | 8 | HeLL YEAH!@#! RaDMAN aND s0MMz aRe gAWDZ!@!#!@ |
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| iCE - 4/95 | 6 | EyE eXpECTuD m0rE iMaGe c0MiX cHarACTeRZ!@#@!#1 |
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| UNi0N - 4/95 | 3 | y0U gUYz bl0W!@! sTiCK t0 sHiTTy vEEgEEaYE!^%&$ |
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| PeZ - 6/97 | 10 | aWW YEAH! ThIz pRemiRe pAK iMpREzZed me!@!@!1% |
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| CiA - 4/95 | 8 | b00-Yah! y0u gUyz MaKE g00d pHaG LiT!@!!@@!#21 |
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| CdC - 4/95 | 9 | EyE nEVuH tH0GHt 58 pIX oF KATZ w00d eXCiTE mE! |
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| SPAZTiK - 1/94 | 8 | dAt ANZi iZ s0 g00D EyE'M 3 m0NtHz bEE-HiNd. |
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| D00DL3Z - 4/95 | 10 | pHuCK YEAH! YoU dR4w d3 BeZt KaLViNz aND sPaWnZ |
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| ASiA - 4/95 | -56 | ASSKEY?! GET OUT 0V HERE LAMERZ!@#!@##@#!#12!@ |
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|________________|________|__________________________________________________|
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Sh1T. EyE g0TTa pUt h0E iN a k0dE!@!@ pHuCK wHaTEvAh' eYe sA1d ab0ut
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L0vING tEe-pHYLEz aND iNph0Mat10n. k0dE mE LiKE a mUtHapHuCKa aLL NyGHT
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L0NG!!@!@!1
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Uhhh...No.
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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____ ______
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____| |________| |
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| | | | | |____
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/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | | | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
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| |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | | | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| |
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| | | |____| | |___________| | |
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| | |____| |________|fO | |
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| | HoE-Date #4 | |
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| | "We're too stupid and stubborn to quit." | |
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| | | |
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| | Table of Contents | |
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| | ----------------- | |
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| | [01] The Intergalactic Mogel Phear | |
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| | [02] The Latest Hype | |
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| | [03] Overheard | |
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| | [04] Anarky at Work! | |
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| | [05] Hoetry Poetry | |
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| | [06] A Hopefully Final Look at Godd(+d) | |
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| | [07] The HoE-Index | |
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| | [08] Interview with Swamp Ratte' | |
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| | [09] Interview with Lobo | |
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| | [10] Goat Blowers Anonymous Plug | |
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| |____________________________________________________________________| |
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\________________________________________________________________________/
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=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
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| ...The Intergalactic Mogel Phear... |
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|=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=--------------=
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Y0wza, Y0wZa, Y0WZA!@!1 Man oh Man, I feel smiley, I feel giddy. Yes,
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I am in FULL CONTROL of my bladder, contrary to popular belief. It seems I
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talk about the bathroom too much. Go figure.
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I am phear incarnate. Yes, I am pheared. Everyone phrears me. The MOGEL
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is everywhere and everyone phears the wrath of m0g, because I am the carnal
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representation of all that you want and need. EYE EM EVERY DREAM AND DESIRE
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THAT YOUR FEEBLE MIND COULD POSSIBLY CONCEIVE OF YOU PANSY. I *FEEL* my
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powers! Don't you feel them to?! DON'T YOU!? My ELiTEnESS SHiNEZ! I take
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a stroll down the street and I laugh. HA. HA. I laugh at the people. They
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watch me walk. They see the skip in my step everywhere I go and they *PHEAR*
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me. They know I'm the most POWERFUL fuckin' thing they have ever seen in
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their sheep-like thoughtless lives and they gape in awe.
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They all phear me. They all know what HoE is. They all know that there's
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no stopping the snowball affect that HoE is becoming. HoE will consume them
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all. The entire Internet sighs when I turn my computer off. They all forget
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to turn their capture files off and record 20 megs of garbage when I'm
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around.
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AT&T? FEDZ?! HAH! They know that I'm a ph0rce to be reckoned with. They
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know not only what I do, but they know what they don't know what I do. And
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you know what? They TREMBLE. They QUAKE. AT&T knows my power and
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capabilities. They know that I have a m0dified bl0tto box in 38 stategic
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locations around the globe. They phear me, as they should.
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As the phear follows you like a shadow there will always be a few morons
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out there that don't PHEAR me. Those select few will be tossed away in their
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pit of denial one day in the future. You certainly are allowed to snicker
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and laugh and their fate. They are pathetic. Side with HoE and you too will
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know what it's like to touch ELiTENESS. Now, on to the gNuZ:
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There's a now an Official Un-Official Usenet Newsgroup for posting about
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HoE. We at HoE have decided to abduct the group 'alt.masturbation.mental' as
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ours. There's no stopping us now. If your server doesn't get this group
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then fuckin' write your SysAdmin today and say "What the hell?! I WANT MY
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HOES! GIMME THAT GNUZGR0UP!" They will know what to do, because they phear
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me.
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I'm happy with the direction of HoE. We seem to get better and better
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with each release. Things are happening and we're building stepping stones
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and a foundation for one of the best 'zines to truly DESERVE an eternal
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archive. I often remind people just what this premise means, and just how
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far it goes. They forget, because they are instilled with phear, but I
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remind them, that a widely distributed t-file will never die. It's the
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ultimate form of communication in todays modern times. Think about how many
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minds you have the potential to touch. Think about what it all means, and
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that you can put out something for someone in some future time to be
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inspired. Or to think about. You can affect people from the comfort of your
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computer. It's almost scary.
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Life here in my college is looking good and bad all the time. I guess I
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was born to have ups and downs forever. I wonder about the WaReZ dEwDz and
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the assorted like that become 'M0dEm WaRRi0RZ'. Is all the effort I have
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expended in the past worth it? I think it's time to just ignore, chuckle,
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and move on. Random humor will always have it's place, but in the end does
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any of this matter? When you add it up, you'll eventually see that the only
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thing that matters is if you were real or not. If you made a difference or
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not. [Note: Frannie - read this paragraph again.]
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What do I plan for HoE? A lot. I had mentally tortured and pained myself
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for quite some time now. I had considered killing HoE many times, mostly
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because I realized that HoE was formerly nothing more than a bad cDc/BLaH
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rip off. I think we've finally gotten to a point where HoE is getting it's
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own identity. We aim to be one of the best Telecom groups of all time.
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We plan to do whatever cDc forgot to do and then some. We plan to have a
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real freedom of Publication and be a much less exclusive Telecom groups, as
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it seems many of the greater ones out there have become too much of.
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Do you like what you are seeing from HoE? If so, please *do* give us
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feedback. We love communication. You can contact me at mpg4681@rit.edu or
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mogel@phantom.com. Or call Goat Blowers Anonymous, the Home BBS for HoE.
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(215) 750-0392. Currently you can ftp HoE from:
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ftp.fc.net /pub/deadkat/hacking/HOE
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etext.archive.umich.edu /pub/Zines/HoE
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As you can see, this HoE-Date is enormous - we packed a hell of a lot in
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this sucker. It shocked me when I finally finished editing it how big it
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really was. It's full of things that have been sitting in my hard drive for
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quite a while.
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Finally, I say this every single HoE-Date and it's getting annoying, so
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I'm gonna stop saying it for a while. Know that t-file submissions are
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totally open. Just send interesting, well written files my way with the
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subject: 'EYE PHEAR M0G3L!' and you'll r0ckin' the HoE beat. Black Francis
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actually taught his little sister that can hardly talk to say 'EyE PHeAR
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m0G3l!' - and I'm told she says it constantly, interrupting conversations at
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the dinner table to scream it. If that's not a coming of a new age, I don't
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know what is. Join the dance of HoE. It's a sweet little jig.
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- Mogel [HoE Bastard]
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mpg4681@rit.edu
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=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
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| ...The Latest Hype... |
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|=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=--------------=
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61) "True Stories from Pathological Liars" by Alex Swain. Straight from his
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own 'zine, _Whatever Ramblings_, Swainy brings to us many glimpses of
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life. Pass the Salt.
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62) "My Application to [NAME OF COLLEGE HERE]" by Thanatos. HoE brings you a
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helping hand. Hey - it's NOT a commentary - it's an essay with an edge.
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63) "Everything Inbetween" by IM2K4U2C. Nonsensical Babble that has no point
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or direction. Naturally, it's a HoE.
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64) "Take a Wiz, Make me Jiz" by Mogel. SPANK ME, SPANK ME, MAKE ME BLEED.
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Ralph was a bad boy. I wanna be a good boy. Listen to the people pee.
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65) "My BA in Attitude" by DisordeR. Is college a farce? The moral is to
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stay home and do nothing or DisordeR will beat you up and take your
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lunch money.
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66) "Life and the IRC Log" by Dash. The classic editorial on why we should
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all ram a spike through out butts when we touch our computers.
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67) "So This is How it Ends for Us?" by Abigwar. Nazi guys aren't a party.
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68) "About Nothin'" by Spiff. A pathetic attempt to twist logic and trick
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you into thinking there's no Random. Spiff phears me.
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69) "Why Information Must be Free" by Mr. Sandman. Don't sit and take it!
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Talk back to those self-righteous commie nazi tree-hugger phag jh00z.
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70) "The Massive ELiTE! Interview" by Mogel. Everyone l0vs Mogel. This is
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my b1g Project where I interview a lot of guys that run 'zines. Go me.
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71) "Biff Redneck Goes to the Big City" by Sed. There's only three guarantees
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in life - Taxes, Misery, and Rednecks!@#!@!!1
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72) "There's Pain in There" by Mogel. Three horny kids yell at each other
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in hopes to get a threesome going. Instead they just learn something
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about life. Some people are just unlucky.
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73) "Ripping and Screaming Your Way to a Better You" by KidKnee. Emotional
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angst can be a fuel to becoming a more manly man. You'll get all the
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chicks! Think about the implications!
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74) "The Great CyberSpace Coaster Chat Board Caper" by IM2K4U2C. Some people
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have way too much free time.
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75) "Cockroach Assault" by Alex Seigel. A tale of love, death, sex, and
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confusion. Or not.
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76) "Home and Garden" by M0rpheus. A throughly random tale with more wit
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that a mere mortal can gather up.
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77) "The Other Side of the Mirror" by Black Sunshine. Mommy didn't love
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Charlie. MOMMIE WAS A BAD MOMMIE. MOMMIE IS GOING TO DIE WITH ME.
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78) "The Oedipus Complex in Modern Day Terms." by James Hetfield. Formerly
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titled 'My Huge Pulsating Cock', Jamesy h00kZ us guys up with sex tawk.
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79) "Behind the Mask" by The Stranger. A disturbing story based on the life
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of John Wayne Casey - Clown Killer.
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80) "Hoe-Date #4" by Mogel. This file, st00pit. This this is huge! 114k!
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yAAAA-rEEbA! Packed with the secrets of the universe and then some.
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Check out the Ansi Reviews.
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=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
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| ...Overheard... |
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| Real Messages from Real People. |
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| The Section that makes you question the concept of 'communication'. |
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|=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=--------------=
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*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
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From: mpg4681@rit.edu (Mogel)
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To: All
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Subj: EYE KLAIM THiZ gNuZgr0uP!@!#@!
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Stat: Posted on 'alt.masturbation.mental'
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Hello. I'm Mogel. I'm writing this message to hereby claim this newsgroup.
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So there.
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Ah, these Internet Alt.config people think they are just *SO* bright with
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their biased rules and stupid policies. Well, I'm gonna show them that I get
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what I want. And I just friggin' take it. Nobody stands in Mogel's way.
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Nobody beast Midas. Nobody.
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This newsgroup is now the sole posting-ground for the 'zine that I run.
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Yes, it's my 'zine, and it's called HoE. h0gZ of eNtr0py. The 'zines focus
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is on Computer Culture and good writing or t-files (text files). That's just
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about as far ans the row boat rows.
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Huh? Exactly.
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Some people think I'm crazy, other say I'm just bonkers. I think I'm
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pretty normal. Or maybe not.
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Getting back on topic, this Newsgroup that is alt.masturbation.mental,
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is now the soul discussion base for the 'zine HoE, all of it's writers, all
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of the Distribution SysOps, and all of the fans. You're welcome to check in
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with a post. You're welcome to post on any topic whatsoever, however, it
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would be ideal if it was about HoE. After all, HoE is the future.
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Why did I choose this newsgroup to abduct as the h0e newsgroup? Well,
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basically the people at alt.config wouldn't make a alt.zines.hoe....or an
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alt.fan.hoe... Goddamnit, cDc gets a newsgroup. We should too. I think.
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Well, uhhm... maybe I have a little too much free time.
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That doesn't matter. I chose THIS group because the topic was silly
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and sort of anti-related to prostitution (ie: hoe). Also, I had subscribed
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to this group for over a month and there hasn't been a single post on here.
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That's just not fair. For you people that were actually subscribed to this
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group, before I took it over, I greatly apologize. These things happen.
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But wait, before you reply and complain to me - think about this! There is
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a new freedom opening up with this abduction (uhmm..yeah)! Can't you taste
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the feeling? Here it is; a dead-newsgroup base and a live-non-existent
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newsgroup base. The ironies are many. Can we let this go on!? NO! We as
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loved of the true freedom of the internet must stomp out the intolerance of
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the alt.config people. We will show them with your help. By supporting this
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base you are supporting freedom for all humanity.
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I like hyerbole.
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At any rate, ask away your questions. I'll tell you the answers.
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m0g3l
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[h0e s3ni0r ed33t0r!@!]
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mpg4681@rit.edu
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*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
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From: an225108@anon.penet.fi.
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To: IM2K4U2C [ELiTE Address Withheld]
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Subj: Hogs of Entropy #63
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Stat: Private
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Hello Person with the Unpronounceable Nick,
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I'm writing you to voice my opinion on your publishing of the article
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'Everything Inbetween'.
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I found this supposed 'publication' from a Mongle fellow that decided to just
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jumped into #bible in IRC and Forced a Mass-DCC to the entire channel with
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some Issues of this repugnant group HOE.
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I carefully read through many interesting articles. The entire zip file was,
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on the whole, a very poor magazine. What fears me the most is that this sort
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of garbage is widely distributed on places like the Internet and the Computer
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World. There was a few pieces of well written ideas in the files, however
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they were polluted with such disgusting literature. Do you actually have
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people that enjoy reading about a man masturbating or anti-education
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messages??? I believe college to be, in it's premise, a most important
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institution. The ideas presented in these HOE files were totally
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contradictory to everything that our Country values and holds fundamentally
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important.
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I would have written Mongle on the topic, but I didn't for two reasons.
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Firstly, I was annoyed that I was forced to DCC something I didn't want in
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the first place. I tried to ask him what the file was, but he had left IRC
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and I couldn't ask. So I read the files. After a few days, I found him on
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#punk and began to tell him what I thought of his files, and asking him
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questions about how widely this was distributed. I told him that your file,
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entitled 'everything inbetween' was the grossest thing I had ever read. He
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began to act extremely rude and patronizing to me. I didn't care for it one
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bit. After telling him that I'd like e-mail addresses to all the writers of
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the publication he said "here's im2k4u2c's address. He knows what to do with
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mind-f*cked people like you." As you can see, he was very rude to me.
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So, now I have your address and I am voicing my complaint. The ideas that
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are presented in your file are totally erroreous, confused, and (in my
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blatant opinion) evil. You tried to compare the Christian Church the Nazi
|
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Political Party! The "positive" messages that I might have agreed with in
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the file were very weakly presented. It feels like it was a bad attempt and
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making an Essay and a Poem at the same time.
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I'm hoping that I can help put a stop to horrible writing such as this with
|
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this letter. When I see any of these "HOE writers" on IRC again, I will
|
|
attempt to get more information on the group and try to show you the error
|
|
in your logic. The files, HOE, I believe are completely contradictory to any
|
|
sort of progress that this country might hope to accomplish. I truly fear
|
|
that these files are getting Distributed on a National scale.
|
|
|
|
- Laurence Carney
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: Neurokiller
|
|
To: Mogel
|
|
Subj: Fucking Faggot!!
|
|
Stat: Private
|
|
|
|
Hey DeathKnight, you faggot. I caught up with you and now you're going
|
|
to pay. Thought you could hide from me, huh?! You and your lame 410 group
|
|
HoE! I have no idea why you changed your handle to such a gay one but I
|
|
don't care.
|
|
|
|
You and your lame Ansi group, Hearts of Evil, are going down! I wouldn't
|
|
release another ansi pack ever again, or you'll be fucked up so bad you won't
|
|
even remember what your name is!!!!
|
|
|
|
- |\|euRo ]<iLLeR
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: pali151@netcom.com (Bubba Therion)
|
|
To: All
|
|
Subj: Daily Morning Dweefle
|
|
Stat: Posted on 'alt.religion.wombat'
|
|
|
|
It has been found in recent archaeological examination of what is
|
|
believed to be an ancient Wombatittian/Nonsequitorian Temple Burrow that
|
|
some of the Children of the Wombat were engaging in daily prayers (which
|
|
they refer to in the old texts as "the old dweefle and grovel), rigid
|
|
medastication (the practice of letting your mind wander aimlessly whilst
|
|
chewing on tough roots), and other "rituals". The term is used loosely
|
|
here; most Wombatittian rituals seem to consist of little more than
|
|
drinking large quantities of tequila, dressing in plastic wrap, and
|
|
rolling about on the floor until nausea and vomiting ensue.
|
|
|
|
However, one of the important "grovel and dweefles" has now been
|
|
translated by the Institute for Sacred Burrowing Marsupials, and is
|
|
presented here for the first time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
MORNING GROVEL AND DWEEFLE
|
|
as Requested by Thwack
|
|
|
|
Oh Wombat, oh Wombat, oh Wombat
|
|
Thrice naked are your words,
|
|
Yet your word is one word,
|
|
and that's not even really a word,
|
|
but more of a sound effect.
|
|
|
|
Oh Batty Batty Batty Wom
|
|
I grovel and dweefle in awe of your might
|
|
Thou who canst cheweth up my lawn from beneath
|
|
Thou who maketh the holes wherein I will sprain my ankle
|
|
if I looketh not where I am going.
|
|
Saveth me from the dingos that I hath seen
|
|
In the periphery of mine eye
|
|
after eating those little blue mushrooms.
|
|
|
|
Who is like unto the Wombat?
|
|
None, for who would want to be?
|
|
Nay, I say, nay
|
|
Like a horse, I sayeth nay
|
|
Over and over and over
|
|
It becometh annoying, and I shall cease
|
|
I promise thee.
|
|
Soon.
|
|
|
|
I shun the lemming, and the aye-aye, and the stoat,
|
|
I stay away from marmosets, meerkats, and cuttlefish
|
|
I bringeth not home llamas, nor giant Chinese newts,
|
|
So diggeth not up my garden,
|
|
nor gnaw at the foundation of my house,
|
|
lest thou gettest thy head cut off,
|
|
for I have gone unto the land of True Value
|
|
and hath purchased many a trap well-bladed.
|
|
|
|
Nonetheless, I am of the Wombat
|
|
and thus I dweefle and grovel
|
|
Mainly because there's nothing on TV
|
|
and USENET is bloody boring today.
|
|
|
|
Amen.
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: Piston
|
|
To : Black Francis
|
|
Subj: New User Application
|
|
Stat: Private
|
|
|
|
Sorry about me hanging up once, you can expect me to U/L alot,
|
|
I have ALOT of file's, TOn's of H/p/a and a UNBELIEVAble amount of warez.
|
|
If you are WARez can i PLEASE have the access. i only carry NEW warez.
|
|
WIndows' 95
|
|
OS2/WARP
|
|
TONS OF CDROM RIPS!!!!!!!
|
|
AND TONS OF GAMES!!!!!
|
|
THAnk's
|
|
<-PiStOn->
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: Zippy
|
|
To : Black Francis
|
|
Subj: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckf
|
|
Stat: Private
|
|
|
|
Disconnected in what was gonna be a brilliant validation letter.
|
|
|
|
So here it is. You be the judge.
|
|
|
|
Well, good gawd. Today marks a strange rite of passage for me. Tonight, I
|
|
finally call the bbs m0gel has been bugging me to call, and yet tomorrow, I
|
|
lose my computer. Strange coinkidink, don'tcha think? It's weird, man. But,
|
|
once YOU have fucked up as often as _I_ have, you would understand the misery
|
|
that Slackful living at others' expense can bring when that compensation
|
|
comes to an end. Not worth a fuck is how I feel. Hello anti-depressants.
|
|
|
|
I read a story in the local paper here the other day about a 37 year old man
|
|
who literally used broken glass and gnawing to cut off his own hand because
|
|
he believed it was possessed by demons. I feel somewhat empathetic with
|
|
that dude. I've been there, man. Hello anti-depressants.
|
|
|
|
So, here I am. It really doesn't matter if I get access or not, because
|
|
chances are, it will be a damned good while before I can call, due to the
|
|
fact that I will be computer-free. Computer-free after years of owning one
|
|
and doing this geeking thing. After having run such BBSes as The Starchy
|
|
White Boy BBS in Lubbock, and Club Baby Seal in Dallas and Lubbock. I even
|
|
managed to switch softwares several times in that period. Ran Renegade 1st
|
|
and most latest, my own hard-payed-for version of PCBoard. Big whooop. Hello
|
|
Anti-depressants.
|
|
|
|
Files? Bleh. Messages? I just say 'yes.' Of course, it doesn't matter, as
|
|
I've explained before. I guess I could borrow a friends computer though.
|
|
Hello anti-depressants.
|
|
|
|
So, I dunno what else to say. Maybe this WAS NOT the bestest validation
|
|
letter. I suspect it is better than most. People suck. Users suck. Kill them
|
|
while you can.
|
|
|
|
Hello anti-depressants.
|
|
|
|
And tell the m0gel-man howdy for me.
|
|
|
|
Yow!
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: Edicius
|
|
To : All
|
|
Subj: heh.
|
|
Stat: Posted on GBA
|
|
|
|
i think this is funny. i'm not sure if this is the base for it, but ah well.
|
|
its 5:35am right now. i just had like 4 hours sleep. and i cant get back
|
|
to sleep. so i'll be up for awhile. anyway.
|
|
|
|
i released my latest issue of jonas, oh. around 10:30 or so. (jonas 4, get
|
|
it). i go on irc, and suprisingly (for a friday night) there were very few
|
|
people on #ansi. maybe like 12 or so.
|
|
|
|
i xdcc offer jonas 4, and then someone asked me where i got the name from,
|
|
so i told them; the weezer song called 'my name is jonas'. :). 'jobu' then
|
|
preceded to call me a weezer freak, that weezer sucked, and 'jonas' was the
|
|
lamest name for a mag. so i just said:
|
|
|
|
<edi> its lame because the mag's lame, thats the point.
|
|
<jobu> thats so lame, why put out a lame mag on purpose?
|
|
<edi> i donno. cause i was bored? to mock the scene? to make fun of you
|
|
people that take it too serious? ... blah blah. some omited..
|
|
<jobu> thats so gay. the mag's so pathetic.
|
|
<edi> i know, thats the point. but people actually like it, so i dont care
|
|
|
|
and he started to keep up this argument; 'but its gay', 'um, i know that,
|
|
thats the point', etc.
|
|
|
|
its funny. the exact thing i figured would happen (people just not getting
|
|
the point of my mag) has happened. tada, i've achieved my goal (making a
|
|
lame mag), and i've still shown how people take it too serious, and wouldn't
|
|
release the purpose. sigh. get my mag now, whenever frannie validates it.
|
|
|
|
edicius <cia>
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: Cyberelf
|
|
To : Mogel
|
|
Subj: lok at this ,
|
|
Stat: Private
|
|
|
|
Hhey mogel ,heres somethin odd i found! You cAn make it an iSsue off hoe if
|
|
youd like. This is a copy of an actual alert to to IBm field engineers.
|
|
(except typos of course)
|
|
|
|
Mouse balls Availble as FRU (Field Replacement unit) mouse balls are now
|
|
available. Therefore if the mouse fails to operate or should it perform
|
|
erraticly it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature
|
|
of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by
|
|
properly trained personal. Before preceeding, determine the type of mouse
|
|
balls by examing the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will Be Larger
|
|
and harder then foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending
|
|
upon the manufactuer of the mouse. Foreign Balls can be replaced using the
|
|
Pop-off method. Domestic Balls can be replaced using the twist off method.
|
|
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive but exsessive handiling can
|
|
result in a sudden Discharge. Upon compeletion of ball replacement, the
|
|
mouse may be used immediatly. It is recommended that each replacer have a
|
|
spare pair of replacement balls for maintaining optimum customer
|
|
Satisfaction, and that any customer Missing His Balls Should Suspect local
|
|
Personel of removing these nescessary items. To reorder specify one of the
|
|
following:
|
|
|
|
P/M 33FS462 - Domestic Mouse Balls
|
|
P/M 33FS461 - Foreign Mouse Balls
|
|
|
|
(editorial Note - IBm are some sick people, Selling mouse balls even, geez
|
|
poor mice everywhere, My sympathy to them all)
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: Neko
|
|
To : Super Squirrel
|
|
Subj: Re: "All You Liars"
|
|
Stat: Posted on GBA
|
|
|
|
SS> that would be cool if everyone in the world yelled "fuck" at the same
|
|
SS> time.
|
|
|
|
"Welcome to Fuckfest '95."
|
|
|
|
Dan Rather: Tonight on the Evening news. More news on the OJ Simpson murder
|
|
trial. (is handed piece of paper) .. what's this? In five minutes everyone in
|
|
the world will say (turns away from mic) can we say that on the air?
|
|
|
|
Voice: We'll beep it out.
|
|
|
|
Dan Rather: In five minutes, everyone around the world will say Fuck. And now
|
|
with live footage, formerly with MTV News, Kurt Loder
|
|
|
|
Kurt Loder: Thank you Dan, it's good to know NBC gives boring people like us
|
|
jobs nowadays.
|
|
|
|
Dan Rather: Uhh, right, Kurt.
|
|
|
|
Kurt Loder: Well, Fuckfest '95 as the organizer Super Squirrel has dubbed it
|
|
i about to start. Basically, it consists of everyone in the world yelling
|
|
fuck at the same time. So, viewers at home, when the ball drops, yell fuck!
|
|
|
|
Dan Rather: Very Dick Clark-esque, Kurt.
|
|
|
|
Kurt Loder: Right. And my fuck will go out to the assholes on MTV who got me
|
|
fired. Do you believe it? They called me boring
|
|
|
|
<shot fades to Dan Rather at the news desk being shaken awake>
|
|
|
|
Dan Rather: Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.
|
|
|
|
Kurt Loder: Well, the balls about to drop....let's see what happens
|
|
|
|
Masses: Five......Four......Three....Two...One...
|
|
|
|
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF UU UU CCCCCCCCCCCCCC K K !!!
|
|
FF UU UU CC K K !!!
|
|
FF UU UU CC K K !!!
|
|
FF UU UU CC K K !!!
|
|
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF UU UU CC KK !!!
|
|
FF UU UU CC K K !!!
|
|
FF UU UU CC K K
|
|
FF UU UU CC K K !!!
|
|
FF UUUUUUUUUUU CCCCCCCCCCCCCC K K !!!
|
|
|
|
...EPILOGUE:
|
|
|
|
The world collapses and only cool eleet modem gods are left. The entire staff
|
|
of cDc declares total world domination in the name of cDc. uXu and the
|
|
editors of CuD argue over this until the three factions declare a mutual
|
|
dictatorship.
|
|
|
|
Isn't life grand?
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: Dead Cheese
|
|
To : m0g n0g fr0g d0g (Mogel)
|
|
Subj: Phat ploobers!!!
|
|
Stat: Compiled from many posts on GBA
|
|
|
|
Achtung, mein rot apfel!! I am chicken, but where's my fat monday? Huh?
|
|
HUH?!!? WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?! I don't see any thimbles, but I'm sure
|
|
you've got some underwear in your mouth! Give it here! Gimme some lovin'!!
|
|
I sure do like my rubber wallaby. He's so nice to me when I ruffle his
|
|
toodly-woodly, pupply-dupply num-nums. Aw, shut up. I don't care if the God
|
|
damned tortoise says I'm a large, rotten poop because my armpits lick the
|
|
world of flesh, anyway.
|
|
|
|
Have you tasted the sweet worm of dilly-doo? I've got a nugget that was
|
|
switched for pumpkins, but you don't see me dancing the flab. In fact, I
|
|
don't think your chicken love is so great 'pon the idle of Socks! You suck
|
|
the rime of steel, yet you've sat upon the wild chub?! THOU ART A PLUM!!
|
|
|
|
Taste the shavings of the infamous apple jamboree, foul squirt! I may be
|
|
a snorting matumbo, but at least *I'VE* never fished in the nostrils of the
|
|
queen! Should you choose to fall for the jumpy dwarf, you surely will become
|
|
a shooting wombat. Ever thing about that!? HUH?! DID YOU?!?! I BET YOU
|
|
NEVER LICKED THE BACK OF CHUMPY GALOSHES!!!! Neither have I, but I didn't
|
|
stump the sod. In conclusion, eat gumbo menagerie.
|
|
|
|
I spew no lobster vomit, my voluptuous bean. Of course, I see the
|
|
soldiers, but I share *NO* maple syrup! Should you evade the fabric, you
|
|
shall surely feel the flab of entire *NATIONS* of jamboree llamas! I jab the
|
|
elbows of poodles, yet I never sink to the pudding. How is that so, you ask?
|
|
I don't know. *BUT*, I do know that the shoes of deception are upon us and
|
|
we must dance 'pon their tiny cattle tumors. You are a jim-dandy bubble if
|
|
you think the Jumpin' Jehosiphats will leave us be to our own contentions of
|
|
misaligned coffee.
|
|
|
|
How dare you fly in the face of several large aardvarks?! You are not a
|
|
heinous monkey of chowder! You will never lick the chicken of repression!
|
|
You will never mold me, for I am the Jell-O that withstands your fruity
|
|
flavors. I am not a rubber rutabaga that can be flexed towards the
|
|
waterfalls of your insanity.
|
|
|
|
Your idea is absurd. Here is the idea that YOU must understand:
|
|
|
|
I AM *NOT* A PIECE OF CHICKEN.
|
|
|
|
Do you not know this tender vittle? Are you so dense that you must be
|
|
bonked by the jumbo coconuts to fathom the shallow depth of this voluptuous
|
|
poultry? You make me moderately ill.
|
|
|
|
..Dead Cheese..
|
|
Just because it's late doesn't mean it's any less insane...
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: m0g n0g fr0g d0g
|
|
To : Dead Cheese
|
|
Subj: Re: Phat ploobers!!!
|
|
Stat: Compiled from many posts on GBA
|
|
|
|
How dare you insult the high order of tobacco smoking Cheetah King
|
|
Wannabes. I am part of the Ultimate kingdom of Toaster Hackers and I demand
|
|
respect. MOCK ME, WILL THOUHT!? fi fi fi fo fum so says me. You think
|
|
you're juuuuuuusssstttt soooo cool with your foul smelling handle, but fear
|
|
not, possessor of all that is not appetizing, because i am also one that can
|
|
talk the talk and walk the walk of the random random kibble that is the
|
|
world and the way (just the way) that *THEY* want it. You do know that
|
|
*THEY* (emphasis shown by the *'s) Control us don't you!? Every last one of
|
|
them. We can ban together with the might of a thousand looney turnipian
|
|
Wombat Soldiers and pkunspam them.
|
|
|
|
Hah! You are a stumpy, flabby, silly over-hormonal SWINE. Wait.
|
|
That's me. YOU ARE A tall, *GANGLY*, super elliptical Mushroom Foot!@! You
|
|
talk like a turtle..but don't SPEAK TOO FAST!@! Or then you whist feel the
|
|
brunt of the lizard cum. Spit. Ouch. I WANNA BE STRANGLED BABY. I WANNA
|
|
BE A LOVER OF THE TOTAL STEROPHONIX OF WHAT WE CALL CH0AS SO LONG ME AND RIDE
|
|
ME STRAGLE CHICKEN HAWK. There. Now you understand the glee of the ancients.
|
|
|
|
And such callous carvings of lobster vomit you spew. Don't you now see
|
|
the obvious light of the armpit soldiers coming in NEAR!? You dare speak of
|
|
Galoshes, but as I not only avaid the *LICK*, I also avaid the very fabric of
|
|
TOUNGE that hold the fabric of what you, me, and the entire blue-marble world
|
|
of coconuts we live in amasses to. You *STILL* don't get it?! Well, then
|
|
let me re-phrase it in a way that yer mono-visual eardrums will dip their
|
|
auditory fats into: YOU BLOW THE GOATS OF A NATION. Got that?! YOU FUCKIN'
|
|
GOT THAT?! I CAN'T HERE YOU!! I CAN'T FUCKING HERE YOU! Oh, wait. You
|
|
can't talk over the modem. All the same, you understand now more than ever
|
|
before the premise of the Barn Yard, and while there's a Cow there's a way.
|
|
GOAT, PIG, or COW - YOU DO THEM ALL AND LIKE IT OR ELSE PANSEY BOY!!
|
|
|
|
And I see that you you do partially see my point about the temporal
|
|
toothpaste, eh? Well, soon I will mold you. I will mold you like oh so much
|
|
over-chewed gum left out in the sun with raisins. I will mold you like a
|
|
fresh carrot plucked from a Baby's dookie-infested ass. And LICKED. Yes,
|
|
you smell the smell of the llama as do I and as do ALL THAT IS HERE... We all
|
|
smell the smell of a thousand roasted radishes. But there is still one
|
|
idea... there is still ONE sacred transcendental misfiticial force that you
|
|
don't get. It's oh-so obvious... get this message and get it clear:
|
|
|
|
THE FORESTS PISS BLUE SEVERED HAMSTER HEADS.
|
|
|
|
Now you understand the truth.
|
|
|
|
-m0g-
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: Doh!
|
|
To : Grandmaster Mogel
|
|
Subj: Re: y3r iN d3 m0dEm MaFia?!@$@#$
|
|
Stat: Posted on GBA
|
|
|
|
It all started as a joke. My ex-girlfriend went to her junior prom with a
|
|
kid who was on the pit called Speedracer, while I was going out with her.
|
|
(She said she'd go with him before I started dating her). I didn't mind, I
|
|
knew nothing was going on between them. Just to have a little fun I logged
|
|
on the Pit and post a message that said something to the effect of "I'm a
|
|
friend of Doh!'s and I saw you trying to put the moves on his woman. Put
|
|
twenty bucks in my locker and I'll forget the whole thing. If not I tell him
|
|
what I saw and watch him kick your ass, he's a really big guy with a bad
|
|
temper" And so "The Modem Mafia" was born. It was named later on by
|
|
Nightstalker and taken over by Beann very shortly afterwards. Speedracer
|
|
eventually figured out who we were but we had him shitting himself for
|
|
awhile. We really had no purpose but to annoy the shit out of everyone and
|
|
we almost succeeded. We were just a bunch of guys looking for something new
|
|
to do on our lunch break. I missed most of the whole Chal Mac-Beann war. I
|
|
didn't do much more than start the whole big thing. I had heard about that
|
|
shit that Chal wrote from Nightstalker. It cracked me up. What a waste of
|
|
time that was! I was told that that file is all over the state. I guess
|
|
we're like infamous or something. That's pretty much it. If I think of
|
|
anything else, you'll read about it eventually.
|
|
|
|
-Doh!,....TMM is dead
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: Llamaman
|
|
To : All
|
|
Subj: Curious George Visits Ground Zero
|
|
Stat: Posted on High Times
|
|
|
|
Curious George was a curious little monkey. He was out one sunny day
|
|
with the man in the yellow hat. He said "Now George...we are going to a Top
|
|
Secret testing facility...and I don't want you to run away from me." George
|
|
thought "Boy...I will get to see all kinds of things at the test base!".
|
|
When they got up to the front gate a man with a sub-machine gun told them
|
|
to get out of the jeep. Then two other men all in green took the man in the
|
|
yellow hat and George to a little room where they were both strip searched.
|
|
George thought "The man in the yellow hat looks very different with no
|
|
clothes on!". Then after both George and the man were naked came the body
|
|
cavity search, George didn't like that at all, it hurt a lot! The man in the
|
|
yellow hat didn't seem to mind though, he smiled the whole time. While the
|
|
man in the yellow hat was dressing, George opened a vent door and slid in!
|
|
He crawled down the shaft for about two hundred yards before he saw an
|
|
opening. George looked through the grill and there was the Base Commander!
|
|
George was directly behind the General and could see all the folders marked
|
|
TOP SECRET all over them. George couldn't read of course, but he liked the
|
|
red stamp color anyway. George proceeded down the vent shaft.
|
|
When George came to a X intersection in the ductwork he listened very
|
|
carefully. Then he smelled something funny down to his left. So he went to
|
|
see what the funny smell was...George was very curious! He got to a big vent
|
|
opening where the duct ended, outside he could see all these men in white
|
|
suits with funny bag hoods all covered in those yellow fallout symbols. The
|
|
yellow radiation symbols made George think of the man in the yellow hat, the
|
|
MPs were probably interrogating him now for losing George inside a national
|
|
secret. All the men in the radiation suits were hovering over about two
|
|
dozen warheads spread out over lab tables across the room. George was
|
|
curious! A loud bell rang and all the men went out of the room to there
|
|
coffee break, so George wanted to take a warhead home with him! He opened
|
|
the vent and climbed down. He waked over to a table and took the warhead
|
|
down. It was very heavy! George didn't realize that he had taken a device
|
|
with no fail-safe on it. If the timer started, there would be no way to stop
|
|
it from going off.
|
|
So George stared off into another building. This one was marked very big
|
|
over the door. NO ENTRY FOR UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL But as I said before
|
|
George is only a monkey and cannot read. So he went on in. George was very
|
|
happy to see that he had discovered the mess hall, and there was nobody
|
|
watching all the food! So he went into the kitchen, George was curious! He
|
|
smelled bread baking, so he went over to the oven and pulled out the loaf of
|
|
bread that was in there and began to eat! Yummy! but George wanted to put
|
|
back something for the bakers...Of course! The warhead he was carrying!
|
|
George slipped into the oven and turned the oven to 850 degrees. Now George
|
|
didn't know what that meant, but 850 was the highest setting on the oven.
|
|
Just then a armed MP came around the corner. "There you are my little
|
|
friend!" He said, very loudly. "We've been looking all over for you! Come
|
|
on...let's get you back to your trainer before he gets shot for espionage!"
|
|
George didn't know what the MP meant. The MP took George to the Generals
|
|
office and sat him down. Then another man brought in the man with the yellow
|
|
hat! George was so happy to see him, the man had handcuffs on and a few
|
|
bruises on his face. "Christ...George...they really gave me the third
|
|
degree for losing you!" So George and the man with the yellow had got in
|
|
there jeep and headed home. They were very lucky though, because they were
|
|
more than 200 miles away from ground zero when that warhead that was in the
|
|
oven finally did go off!
|
|
|
|
So, we will see what kind of trouble George gets into in his next
|
|
adventure "Curious George Visits A Nazi Concentration Camp in 1941 Poland".
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: feinstem@vax.sonoma.edu
|
|
To : All
|
|
Subj: Have some respect for Winona!
|
|
Stat: Posted on 'alt.fan.winona-ryder'
|
|
|
|
This was the first time I've checked out this newsgroup, and let me tell you
|
|
that I am sadly disappointed. I would think that Noni's "fans", as you claim
|
|
to be, would have enough RESPECT for her to discuss her as an actress. It is
|
|
so tacky for you to be talking about nude pictures of her, or whether she is
|
|
bisexual or not, or even who wants to marry her. Who cares?! Can you imagine
|
|
how she would feel if she read the stuff you people have been saying about
|
|
her? Have some class, folks.
|
|
|
|
I went to junior high and high school with Winona Ryder (her real name
|
|
is Winona Horowitz, and in those early days, she was known as Noni Horowitz)
|
|
in Petaluma, CA, and I must say that she is a VERY decent person and she does
|
|
not deserve a single bit of the treatment she is getting from you people. I
|
|
was not a close friend of hers, but I did have some classes with her, and she
|
|
was (and still is, for that matter) very intelligent. She didn't fit in all
|
|
that well with the "cliques" that our school had, and she tells stories in
|
|
interviews about how she got "canned" in junior high, but she was great to
|
|
have around there. She was insistent on making friends, and yes, she sure as
|
|
hell did make friends. And people at home have a lot of respect for her. But
|
|
we don't treat her like a superstar. She's still just Noni. And that's the
|
|
way she likes it. If you want to know what her real personality was like,
|
|
watch her in "Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael." Her role in that film is
|
|
closest to her real self, at least how I knew it when we were that age
|
|
(junior high/high school). My whole point here is that Noni is a good person;
|
|
just look at all the work she did with the Polly Klaas kidnapping case (her
|
|
dedication to the cause helped put Petaluma on the map--too bad it took such
|
|
a tragedy to do so). She doesn't deserve the trash you are saying about her.
|
|
Even if she isn't reading this newsgroup, have some class and show some
|
|
respect for her.
|
|
|
|
Sincerely,
|
|
|
|
Melinda Feinstein (Petaluma, CA)
|
|
email: feinstem@vax.sonoma.edu
|
|
Sonoma State University
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: obscure@phantom.com (Paul Leonard)
|
|
To : All
|
|
Subj: Our Master Plan
|
|
Stat: Posted on 'alt.fan.cult-dead-cow'
|
|
|
|
It is true that we are the most aged, yet vital e-media group in
|
|
existence. We are NOT satisfied with that alone, however. We truly and
|
|
realistically expect to obtain full world domination within our
|
|
lifetimes. This is not a boast, or a pipe dream either, we're fucking
|
|
serious man! If you want to survive the purge, it is advised that you
|
|
submit to our desire RIGHT NOW. Our desire is to have every one of you
|
|
going out into the world, virtual or not, who gives a fuck, and doing
|
|
cool shit. When you follow our desire, you will end up creating a self
|
|
you never believed you could possibly know. Do you know what? You'll be
|
|
free of the bullshit that keeps you locked into your pathetic lives. Do
|
|
you know who you can thank? You can thank US! You can show your
|
|
appreciation towards us by FIGHTING for the cause of cDc World
|
|
Domination. You will be free, happy, and maybe even wealthy because of
|
|
it. Because we have divine forces behind us you have to choose to be with
|
|
us, or you have to choose to be annihilated like a foul-mouthed cretin.
|
|
We ARE POWER! WE ARE THE LIGHT THAT SHINES ON THE CHOSEN. WE ARE THE HAND
|
|
THAT SMITES THE WICKED. WE ARE FREE!
|
|
|
|
obscure images
|
|
cDc Convulsion Crew
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: sratte@phantom.com (Swamp Ratte)
|
|
To: All
|
|
Subject: Re: How do you join
|
|
Stat: Posted on 'alt.fan.cult-dead-cow'
|
|
|
|
One guy said this:
|
|
|
|
> I want to know if I'm taking you to seriously. If you guys are serious
|
|
> where do I sign?
|
|
> Keep the Peace,
|
|
> JAZZ
|
|
|
|
Then Omega said this:
|
|
|
|
> No one can volunteer for cDc. None of us signed up. We were all
|
|
> hanghai'd and then thoroughly brainwashed. Spread the disease.
|
|
|
|
You know The K-C0W PHORCE? A group of happily rabid sysops carrying cDc
|
|
files? No... SHOCK TROOPS.
|
|
|
|
Yeah, we're serious. About something or other. I was 15 when we started
|
|
this and I'm 24 now. And bored with rhetoric and that high-school "Rage
|
|
Against the Machine"-level histrionics, "fist in the air!" crap.
|
|
People's biggest enemies are themselves, and the best way to fight
|
|
that is to just DO SOMETHING. ie: get off yer lame ass.
|
|
cDc is serious about free speech. And uh... uh... the right to be
|
|
cool. That's just about everything, isn't it?
|
|
Self-preservation. Being creative & productive 'cause you want to be.
|
|
Spreading happiness & positivity through understood cynicism.
|
|
Bigness. Style. Free stuff. Knowing what's up.
|
|
|
|
Those are cDc ideals.
|
|
Realness. And if it ain't real, that's understood too... and therefore,
|
|
real.
|
|
We're out to be the best electronic media organization there is.
|
|
That means, in the future, we wanna put out music and video stuff
|
|
and distribute it the way we do our t-files. Like a freeware
|
|
Time/Warner.
|
|
|
|
cDc is DIY, but with LARGEOSITY.
|
|
|
|
S. Ratte'/cDc NASCAR Team
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: sratte@phantom.com (Swamp Ratte)
|
|
To : All
|
|
Subj: Re: Our Master Plan
|
|
Stat: Posted on 'alt.fan.cult-dead-cow'
|
|
|
|
YES YES YES. Listen to Brother Oi. cDc's fight is a never-ending
|
|
WAR ON LAMENESS. And those who insist on being PART OF THE PROBLEM
|
|
will be subjugated to many many hours of urine-drinking and
|
|
butt-wiping during THE GREAT PURGE.
|
|
False prophets abound during these lame days! The SubGerks and
|
|
Dislexians try to sell you "slack." "It's cool to suck," they whimper,
|
|
as they sit and argue the finer points of Babylon 5 vs. Star Trek TNG,
|
|
effetely sipping a coffee-derived beverage.
|
|
|
|
Wrong! In the Great War on Lameness, all those on THAT side of
|
|
the bell curve will be TRAMPLED MERCILESSLY UNDER OUR CLOVEN HOOFS!
|
|
|
|
SLACK is WACK! cDc = ACTION PACKED!
|
|
|
|
S. Ratte'/cDc
|
|
"be K-RAD or be DEAD"
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
From: obscure@mindvox.phantom.com (Paul Leonard)
|
|
To : All
|
|
Subj: Re: Fucking a Cow
|
|
Stat: Posted on 'alt.fan.cult-dead-cow'
|
|
|
|
Look - all of you subgenii & other assorted subgen wannabes might as well
|
|
just shut the fuck up right now. While we all know that the Church of the
|
|
SubGenius is a sick retarded joke for some sick retarded people, what
|
|
some of you don't seem to understand is that cDc is not a joke. We are
|
|
the most real fuckin' thing you will probably see in your lifetime. That
|
|
is, a lifetime that will most likely end abruptly in the first wave of
|
|
the coming purges. You all know about that weak shit in Japan, I assume.
|
|
Well, they're a bunch of powderpuffs compared to us. We're smart enough,
|
|
as well as sick enough to take over the world. Anyone who gets in our way
|
|
will be purged in the name of the greater good. So to all you worshippers
|
|
of false idols, and you self-important snickering finks in those so
|
|
called satiro-mystery cults I have a simple suggestion. Learn who is on
|
|
the winning side, and run with them. Your life may well prove to be
|
|
longer than it is currently slated to be. Hell, you may even like it.
|
|
|
|
Obscure Images
|
|
Director of Propaganda - PsyWar Division
|
|
cDc
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
| |
|
|
| ...anarky at work!... |
|
|
| |
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
|
|
|
|
Here are some ways that you can be a kool anarkuzt and do anarky-type
|
|
stuff at work!
|
|
|
|
Find a morning when your boss will be coming into work earlier than usual.
|
|
Arrive fifteen minutes before he gets there and spread a sheet, blanket, and
|
|
pillow on his desk. Throw on a pajama top over your work clothes and one of
|
|
those old fashioned "Twas the Night Before Christmas" slumber hats. Curl up
|
|
under the blanket and pretend to be fast asleep. When he walks in and gasps
|
|
with suprise, pretend to wake up startled and embarrassed. Explain with
|
|
tears, on your knees that "It's not your fault, you were evicted six months
|
|
ago and and have nowhere else to stay." Try to keep a straight face.
|
|
|
|
Burst into your boss's office first thing in the morning with sincere
|
|
enthusiasm, claiming to have thought of the perfect new emblem for the
|
|
company/firm. Tell him how you were up all night designing this logo, and
|
|
how great you think it will represent the company on office stationary,
|
|
envelopes, and business cards. When he finally gives in and asks you to
|
|
show it to him, excitedly dig into your pocket and hand him a pre-drawn
|
|
sketch of a Nazi swastika. Try to keep a straight face.
|
|
|
|
Before quitting for the day, stick your head in your boss's office and
|
|
timidly ask him how to spell the word "capitalist". As he curiously answers,
|
|
write down the correct spelling in front of him. That night, break into his
|
|
office and write "CAPITALIST PIG!!" in pig's blood. The next morning act
|
|
suprised. Try to keep a straight face.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
| |
|
|
| ...Hoetry Poetry... |
|
|
| The section that gives Black Francis a Headache. |
|
|
| Bad poetry from the sexually Frustrated. Lick it up, baby. Lick it up. |
|
|
| |
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
-=[ SALEM ]=-
|
|
By KidKnee
|
|
|
|
with a tongue of ash and eyes of dust i scream His name.
|
|
and the words fall.
|
|
and my hope sink.
|
|
and my flesh burns.
|
|
|
|
tied to a stake with fire at my toes,
|
|
my family cries,
|
|
my sisters scream,
|
|
may GOD have mercy on us all.
|
|
|
|
black smoke engulfs my head and the world is dark,
|
|
He was once as i am,
|
|
hanging, bleeding waiting for death.
|
|
Jesus, how can you stand there and watch.
|
|
|
|
the pain swells and my brain bursts,
|
|
screaming death to the ears of God,
|
|
|
|
toes curl up an fall of first,
|
|
my naked body tears at my bonds.
|
|
|
|
my legs and calves begin to crackle,
|
|
the pain!
|
|
flame consumes me but will not release me.
|
|
still i hold on to consciousness as the painfire spreads
|
|
screaming, screaming, hoping to faint
|
|
hoping to die
|
|
hoping to end
|
|
screaming to die
|
|
screaming to end
|
|
|
|
screaming to myself
|
|
alone on a pyre
|
|
with a tongue of ash and eyes of glass i die in silence
|
|
and my soul blows away on a wind of death
|
|
alone
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
-=[ Me ]=-
|
|
By, Half-Baked
|
|
|
|
Lost in the fear of troubled pain
|
|
Can you hear the screams again
|
|
catching my eyes on the old man's cane
|
|
Pooling around is the red blood stain
|
|
|
|
Shouting and screams of youth awry
|
|
Smoke of confusion burning the sky
|
|
Helpless endeavors to learn to fly
|
|
Sowing the sickness of men who die
|
|
|
|
Extra incence to cover the blood
|
|
Extra towels to soak up the flood
|
|
Tears falling deep into cracks of mud
|
|
Piercing the earth like an iron stud
|
|
|
|
Causing the pain of all mankind
|
|
Easting away the eyes of the blind
|
|
Asking for whom the dead will find
|
|
Shuffling the names in your mind
|
|
|
|
Pouring through the open sores
|
|
Gashing the earth and all her whores
|
|
Refusing to open the sealed up doors
|
|
Blood seeping through the waters pores
|
|
|
|
Seeking the life that will be gone
|
|
Holding the death of night till dawn
|
|
Watching the doe devour her fawn
|
|
Controlling the life of the little white pawn.
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
-=[ Untitled ]=-
|
|
By Dark Phiber
|
|
|
|
what am i doing here.mind wandering.going.growing.cyberspace.great escape.
|
|
all disappears.even the fears.fun.we all become one.united.together.forever.
|
|
probably never.shoes too tight.walls too white.everything's gone.didn't mean
|
|
to do wrong.big mistake.last corn flake.let me out.let me go.rebel.devil.not
|
|
special.dumb.numb.life of a bum.weak.no need to speak.let it go.all runs out.
|
|
takes no effort.blank mind.time to rewind.rethink.wink.blink.it's all over.
|
|
four leaf clover.start again.just pretend.everything's right.nothing goes
|
|
wrong.same old song.know the words.kill some birds.fly away.don't wanna stay.
|
|
which way to go.in the wrong row.play it loud.get lost in the crowd.watch
|
|
your step.not dead yet.trying.lying.crying.drop one tear.no fear.
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
-=[ Run from Hell ]=-
|
|
By Jester
|
|
|
|
I was weak, but you were strong
|
|
Once you saved me from the Devils song
|
|
I listened hard to hear your cry
|
|
But I heard nothing, so i gave up and died
|
|
Now I am the Dark Ones slave
|
|
He whips me when I don't behave
|
|
I try to run from this fucking hell
|
|
But I am look, shit happens...oh well
|
|
He approaches me with his magic touch
|
|
He temps me with marijuana and such
|
|
He tells me I will get my share
|
|
And lights a fire to my dispair
|
|
On my body, burning hot
|
|
This is the end, but I shall not
|
|
Remain here in this fucking hell
|
|
And I tried to run but well is well
|
|
I close my eyes for eternity
|
|
And say goodbye to you...
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
-=[ A GROSS DESCRYPTION OF NOTHING ]=-
|
|
-=[ Subtitled: LICKING THE STICKY SEX ]=-
|
|
By Fauli
|
|
|
|
In a bright room of white walls glaring
|
|
back at me a with frustration and
|
|
blankness that only a wall could
|
|
communicate. With hatred blaring in my
|
|
eardrums, "LET ME OUT, LEMME GO!" During
|
|
a time in which nothing was getting done
|
|
really fast. And everything is going to
|
|
fast. I must slow down. Down to pace
|
|
where everything is under control. I
|
|
must have control. But then there are
|
|
these crazy bitches that call. They call
|
|
and ask, "Are you mad at me?" They call
|
|
and say, "Can you come over tonight? I'd
|
|
really like to see you." But no. No, I
|
|
can not. I am not mad, I'm crazy. Crazy
|
|
about the shit piling up at my apartment.
|
|
And the 19 fucking millions projects I
|
|
got going on. But then there is
|
|
something in the corner. A tiny
|
|
something, furry, grey, and nibbling on a
|
|
tiny piece of garbage. A mouse. Oh
|
|
great now I live in a rat infested
|
|
apartment. Not only is my apartment a
|
|
mess, but now there a rats here. Stinky,
|
|
smelly, dirty rats. With yellow teeth
|
|
and the chitter of nibbling on garbage.
|
|
Oh god, where is my life going?
|
|
|
|
Hello God, It's me. Yes, me AGAIN. I
|
|
know, I know. But this time I won't get
|
|
mad at you. Okay? Okay. It's like this
|
|
God. Yeah I know I always start out with
|
|
"It's like this God." But I can't help
|
|
it. I'm an unorignal buffoon. Yeah,
|
|
you're right, I am to hard on myself.
|
|
But hey a guy needs his character
|
|
defects. It's what makes us human, but
|
|
you should know that. You're god, you
|
|
know everything. Which is why I'm making
|
|
this prayer. Ya see, I need to know
|
|
about women. Oh you can't tell me? why?
|
|
Oh I see, I guess even God needs
|
|
entertainment.
|
|
|
|
And what about those yankees. Who cares?
|
|
I don't, but maybe I'll get laid tonight.
|
|
Maybe not. I doesn't matter 'cause I
|
|
know how to masturbate! Yes, spank the
|
|
monkey, yank it funky, beat my meat, I'm
|
|
a whack-off junky. I got videos,
|
|
magazines and one helluva creative mind.
|
|
I've jerked off to just about all the
|
|
women I know. I'm sick Sick SICK. I'm
|
|
not mad, I'm crazy.
|
|
|
|
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to
|
|
the bartender and says, "I'm a poet, can
|
|
I get a drink?" And the bartender says,
|
|
"no." So the guy says, "I'm a Painter,
|
|
can I get a drink?" And the bartender
|
|
says, "No." So then the guy thinks for a
|
|
bit and then he says, "I'm a non-equity
|
|
actor, can I have a drink, now?" and the
|
|
bartender says, "NO." So the guy thinks
|
|
some more and says, "I'm a poet, can ya
|
|
gimme a drink." and the bartender says,
|
|
"You already tried that one, no." And so
|
|
the guy apologizes. Then he gets a light
|
|
bulb above his head. The guy says, "I'm
|
|
a lawyer, Can I get a drink?" And then
|
|
the bartender pulls out a nine millimeter
|
|
hand gun and GAT GAT GAT, shoots the guy
|
|
three times in the head. The bartender
|
|
then says, "nope."
|
|
|
|
Enough of that nonsense, I got a story for
|
|
you!
|
|
|
|
Once upon a time I was mad...Now I'm Crazy!
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
-=[ Exanguinate ]=-
|
|
By Zorro
|
|
|
|
Blood from your lips,
|
|
Puss from your eyes,
|
|
I love the smell,
|
|
When Somebody dies.
|
|
|
|
They served no purpose,
|
|
To us who remain,
|
|
All that they did,
|
|
Was relocate to Maine.
|
|
|
|
They came and they sat,
|
|
And watched with content,
|
|
As the world passed before them,
|
|
My anger won't vent.
|
|
|
|
Their town gives them pride,
|
|
To which locals abide,
|
|
But for a foreigner like me,
|
|
I fucking disagree.
|
|
|
|
I sit in my house,
|
|
The sheets I do douse,
|
|
Yes dreams of leaving,
|
|
Are still conceiving.
|
|
|
|
That day in school,
|
|
I started to drool,
|
|
As a plan came alive,
|
|
That would help me survive.
|
|
|
|
I went to the office,
|
|
Where the administrators sat,
|
|
Talking about Maine,
|
|
Fuck, I hate that!
|
|
|
|
I pulled out my AK47.
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
-=[ Summer Of Hate ]=-
|
|
By ]<0rrrUpT
|
|
|
|
Something bitter this way comes the shaking
|
|
earths unstable and coming undone
|
|
conquer and decimate
|
|
tell me what have you won
|
|
raise your flag on the wasteland
|
|
tell me what have you done
|
|
Lets kill the light and bring down the night
|
|
let your chaos rage
|
|
in the summer of hate
|
|
It's the summer of Hate
|
|
kneel and kiss the hand you can not bite
|
|
turn a blind eye fed an obvious lie
|
|
drinking misperception and thinking
|
|
that we dont see the knifeblade
|
|
thinks that its time you learned how to bleed
|
|
the Master ruled with an iron glove
|
|
your greatest trick was the summer of love
|
|
but youve grown fat secure
|
|
and we dont think that our anger is about to abate
|
|
and if you think you are safe
|
|
then you're a little too late
|
|
because we have come to kill you
|
|
in the Summer of Hate
|
|
|
|
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
| |
|
|
| ...A Final (Hopefully!) Look at Godd(+d)... |
|
|
| |
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
|
|
'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
|
|
'.' The Godd Story in Retro '.'
|
|
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
|
|
|
|
Godd(+d)!@!@!#!@#!!1 This is your life.
|
|
|
|
We ran into Godd when he first called my board Mogel-Land and he decided
|
|
to e-mail me a ba-zillion times asking to be a HoE site. Before I had even
|
|
looked at his mail I was getting yelled at to look at his application. I
|
|
don't like being called a cocksucker. I do like being called a fat italian
|
|
cocksucker. Since he didn't call me what I wanted to be called I deleted him
|
|
from Mogel-Land. That is the beginning of the Godd myth0s.
|
|
|
|
I later ran into Godd posting on a lousy local board in 215 called "The
|
|
Pit". Yes, that's the same board the produced such glorious fighters of
|
|
intelligence like the Modem Mafia. I guess some boards, no matter how
|
|
shitty, you just have to call for a good laugh. At any rate, I saw one of
|
|
the st00pitest BBS ads I had ever seen in my life, posted by Godd. It was
|
|
one of those type of posts that make you slap yourself in the face and say
|
|
"HOLY SHIT! THERE REALLY ARE FUCKUPS LIKE THIS OUT THERE! IS IT ALL WORTH IT?
|
|
SHOULD I KILL MYSELF?!" so like, I replied and had a little short-lived
|
|
argument. I later realized just how funny it was, and decided to print the
|
|
captures in HoE #60. I had sealed Godd's fate.
|
|
|
|
I frequented The Hacker Crackdown, run by Dark Phiber (former CAFBL HQ)
|
|
bunches and the CAFBL boys read the HoE. They decided to talk to the
|
|
whippersnapper. Dark Phiber called the board (named "Satan's Sanctuary") and
|
|
basically wanted to know why Godd had used the name "DpE" for a group he was
|
|
in, when the name DpE was being used for some other group. Soon after DP
|
|
called, I called the board.
|
|
|
|
What I saw in the board scared me. I was stepping deep into the heart of
|
|
moronism. That was when I not only decided to invent an entire new science
|
|
based on the study of morons, but I realized that Godd had to be stopped.
|
|
Fortunately, for my realms of maturity, I only did what I did best - make him
|
|
feel stupid. So, me and Black Francis declared (with everyone's agreement)
|
|
that Godd would be the OFFICIAL 215 Mascot. The actual real trouble for Godd
|
|
came, however, from the CAFBL boys.
|
|
|
|
It was really sparked when Kaos and Godd chatted and Godd decided he
|
|
would take it as his opportunity (which he later did a bunch of other times)
|
|
to declare the "lameness" of the group CAFBL and other such "insults". He
|
|
also had created his own group called "Text Forecasters" (or 'TF' for those
|
|
that are h1p) which was supposedly a poetry and H/P group. Shrug. I didn't
|
|
really pay much attention at first.
|
|
|
|
The CAFBL guys, I guess, don't take insults well. Dark Phiber, with the help
|
|
of Kaos, succeeded in doing all sorts of things hence forth. DP found out
|
|
Godd's inph0 and made it public. Basically this led to Godd getting a heck
|
|
of a lot of crank calls to his home. His Mother and Father had no idea that
|
|
Godd was running a BBS off his 'private line', which meant eventual curtains
|
|
for his BBS. Kaos and Morpheus ringled a lot fun and CAFBL had eventually
|
|
entertained itself quite a bit. It was epitomized when DP put Ultra Call
|
|
Forwarding on your BBS line and forwarded it to the Secret Service.
|
|
|
|
A few days before Godd's board died I called once more, whereon, I
|
|
chatted with Godd for a while. All the while I honestly had no clue what he
|
|
was talking about. At any rate, he told me to download the first TF2_95.ZIP
|
|
release and so I did. Straight off of his board. I read the release.
|
|
|
|
Again, the world around me shook. I could not conceive of this. This
|
|
was again a level of pathetic I had never experienced before. Here I was
|
|
was, looking at stupid incarnate. The release had a "newsletter" file that
|
|
opened with quotes from Kurdt K0brain and Sn0pp d0GGy d0g. It broke into a
|
|
top-10 list of reasons why you shouldn't call a "PD" board, none of which
|
|
were funny or understandable really. It included a Mod of the "TF" theme
|
|
song, which was a bad rendition of "Enter Sandman" by Metallica. It had
|
|
plans for a gNu .box, called the Lock Box, which was a Box based on a * Bell
|
|
Service and wasn't a "box" at all. Uhm, yeah. Ultimately, it was a big
|
|
laugh. DP put it best when he said "You say seriously, what HoE says
|
|
Sarcastically."
|
|
|
|
After people laughed for days about the TF file, Godd posted publicly
|
|
on The Pit that TF was NOT his group (he said he had nothing to do with it),
|
|
and in fact it was some other local guy named "Problemed" which it was known
|
|
that CAFBL didn't like either. I guess in his own little warped mind he
|
|
thought he was being slick. He had forgotten that he had CHATTED with me and
|
|
told me to get the TF release. I replied to his message telling him that I
|
|
couldn't believe that he was denying that he was the sole maker and producer
|
|
of TF. Of course he was. He replied something to the effect of "I can't
|
|
explain it to you, it's just too k0mplex. These things don't seem to make
|
|
sense probably because I have nothing to do with them." Uhhh... yeah. So I
|
|
sarcastically asked him if perhaps someone had broken into his house and
|
|
started chatting with me about TF. He didn't reply to that. He just denied
|
|
being in TF. (Note: Godd's name was all over the file, and the "style" of
|
|
typing in the file was an EXACT match to the confusing retarded style that
|
|
Godd used in any chat or post I had ever seen. It couldn't have been
|
|
'Problemed', because after one one encounter with him, I knew that he was not
|
|
mentally capable of producing such a good imitation. He just wasn't smart
|
|
enough.)
|
|
|
|
"FINE," I said, "if no one actually runs TF how is 215 going to get it's
|
|
qu4l1ty Ayche-Pee?!@!@#"
|
|
|
|
It was decided on a k0nf (being billed to Godd) that we would repay his
|
|
hospitality by producing our own next release of TF. We would fill it with
|
|
the stupidest possible t-files we could write, and thus we did. TF3_5.ZIP
|
|
was made and it was a swell little rap up to the Godd epidemic. He had
|
|
become famous, thanks to us, in 215 for being infamous m0r0n. People called
|
|
Godd Long Distance to talk to him. Some people gave his # out on IRC.
|
|
|
|
That was basically that. Godd is still around. Currently him,
|
|
Problemed, Sub Zero, and other 'elite' rej3cts of 215 hang out together in
|
|
some dark, twisted, and (of course) pathetic place in some board Somewhere.
|
|
None of us much really care anymore about it. As it stands today, Godd and
|
|
Sub Zero think CAFBL is the epitome of H/P 'coolness' and are planning to
|
|
submit to it. Godd goes to the same High School as Kaos and follows him
|
|
everywhere worshipping him as GaWd. I think it's cute in a sort of way.
|
|
Godd and all those guys got their own little club to be friends, CAFBL was
|
|
amused, Black Frannie got to make fun of someone to no ends, and I had made
|
|
all this documented. We all won out.
|
|
|
|
One may wonder why did we spend so much time playing with Godd. That
|
|
question can only be answered by each individual. We all sort of knew deep
|
|
down, however, that there was hundreds of Godd's out there. After HoE #60
|
|
was released, I heard again and again from people "We have a guy like that in
|
|
our area code too!" I guess it was a symbol of ultimate proof. We did what
|
|
GwD did in 806 with Greeny. We made a confirmed l0zer.
|
|
|
|
Because I'm a self-analytical Fuckup, I often ask myself if what was
|
|
done to Godd was mature or not. I was convinced many different ways on it for
|
|
a while, and I ultimately decided "Fuck it." There are just some people out
|
|
there that will always have these things coming to them. You can't control
|
|
it. Have fun. I, myself, although I never did any "abuse", did condone it.
|
|
Not to mention the fact that I started all this trouble originally for Godd.
|
|
I guess my only answer is sometimes we need to kick, point, and laugh at the
|
|
stupid. It's the only way anything will ever change. The 'Godd's out there
|
|
are multiplying by the day.
|
|
|
|
Godd, I know that you will read this file. You are reading it right now
|
|
and your brain is probably churning in ways it never has before. When I
|
|
heard you talking that first time on the Teleconfrence I wanted to say it to
|
|
you then, but I knew that in text form it would mean much more. You don't
|
|
get it. Even after it's been thrown in your face you don't get it.
|
|
Maturity, being real, and style are what it's about. Let this be the most
|
|
important lesson about 'the scene' that you ever learn from a t-file.
|
|
|
|
"He thought the local 2600 meetings were called H.O.P.Es." - Sub Zero
|
|
|
|
"That CAN'T be godd. That was an complete thought." - Spiff
|
|
|
|
"We don't want any losers on this teleconfrence!" - Godd
|
|
|
|
[Note: Kaos was supposed to write the 'retro' file. He was too slow. Did I
|
|
do a good job? Think so? Good.]
|
|
|
|
|
|
'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
|
|
'.' Quotes from the Mythical Moron - Collected By Mogel, m0rph, Kaos, DP '.'
|
|
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
Here are many quotes that I have compiled from the mythical moron.
|
|
These were nabbed from posts, chats, and private e-mails. I think it makes
|
|
an interesting case study. Note that all the quotes are in chronological
|
|
order.
|
|
|
|
"...its bright and h/p/a/c/v activises in 2i5 are on the move ... listen to
|
|
metallica they rule.... we also predict a big downfall for Cafbl..."
|
|
|
|
"You can't change anything on anyone's phone account without a password."
|
|
|
|
"mogel...hahahah that pussy, i logged on to his bbs, i never begged shit!, i
|
|
asked him if i could have a hoe distro but becuase he's an asshole he never
|
|
anaswe so i wrote the 2! next people in rank, Black Fran and Slater!, becuase
|
|
i hoped 1! of them who answer, now that aint begging, begging is stooopid, i
|
|
dont like hoe, at all really, their the next potential high flyer from
|
|
2i5!..."
|
|
|
|
"...this fucking area code is full of Power Trippy lil lamerz like KAOS,
|
|
mOGEL AND black francis mostly, though i apologize to the cool people who
|
|
dont go off and try to be /<-rad, anyway, whom have no skill and knocj the
|
|
skillz of other poeple, and in generally, cornily bullied their way into an
|
|
area in which they are about to have to deicide what to do, and make mistakes
|
|
they will, and i iwll be their to reap the joyous collection of InSultS and
|
|
the happy downfall of hoe and high flyers a like, and you so judgmental,
|
|
cursing the Tf's and the DpE's and the small cool groups of today with your
|
|
high flyers Sooooooooper doooooooper ansi rips and your awesome /<radicality
|
|
should shove it up your ass...."
|
|
|
|
"phiber, look if you dont shut the fuck up with your Promo Soooper Fucking
|
|
you better than everyone attitude i am gonna have to fucking delete ya
|
|
again.... your the stooopid founder of a stooopid loser group that sucks,
|
|
blow it out your ass! dont gimme yer shit cause i am tired of going and
|
|
deleting you corny fucking posts..."
|
|
|
|
"i am the fucking Tf founder! its beemn in the works. its a small lil LiT and
|
|
other h/p/c/a/v lil shits group that ya know dont doooo a whole lot of
|
|
sooooooooper ansi's and shit but just writes some stuff they think is cool"
|
|
|
|
"well i donno what k rad means but i 've always know it to be used
|
|
negativly..."
|
|
|
|
"hoe ... well what about em... i havent read something from you guyz in
|
|
ages ... my dicsion as of the last one i read is you guys rule.... but ....
|
|
ya never know till you;ve sampled the best and the worst...."
|
|
|
|
"pbiber, hey this is the eternal d! whats up man? i like you TF thing but
|
|
check out the message bases... i pretty much denoted any connected to Tf
|
|
being as it was all problemed doing... anywayz... i just wanted to say
|
|
yello, and uhh ... well maybe next weekend you can check out my telecon i
|
|
will have up....i will email the details anyway but .... thanks man sorry
|
|
about rippings yaz that time it was outta line cuz you had already explained
|
|
you had no prob with me...."
|
|
|
|
"DEAR PEOPLE!
|
|
This is Godd DA DA! DA DA .....
|
|
i wonna make the announcement that the text forcastors thing
|
|
released under the name TF2-95.zip IS NOT mine....
|
|
nor will any other files under that name be mine.....
|
|
i never write any actual files for it..... i only mentioned
|
|
that as a name for group to a few people a month or so back....
|
|
i belived it was PROBLEMED, being as he started my past
|
|
problems... Futhermore i wonna Apologize for what i said about
|
|
CAFBL that long time ago to DP, becuase he had made it clear
|
|
he had no problem with me previous to the writing of my hate
|
|
mail...... now.... i wonna thank for you time.... and i guess thats it...."
|
|
|
|
"but you can docotr anything you want i was never in TF!... as for grave
|
|
digger like i said he jumps on the band wagon of whatever is up for now....
|
|
which is better than what i do, at least as far you you go, i might act like
|
|
a moron but i do my best ot clean up any mess' i make.... i never pick
|
|
anyone for a serious attack, usually, though i aint as lame as some might
|
|
think... perhaps my lash out on you has made you non-understanding of the
|
|
situation... i have no problem with anyone in the area code... lest you
|
|
consider my past... but all in all i have seriously cleaned up what i have
|
|
done and made all around good relations..... so as far as what most want to
|
|
think about my story (the truth) or this whole situation i dont really
|
|
care.... i mean i know this may seen blurred and not very informative but...
|
|
thats what its supposed to do isnt it.... each action that seems to come
|
|
next from me a lil more and more unpredicable.... probably DO OT the fact
|
|
that i aint doing em... why would i starte a war with CAFBL... and mogel i
|
|
have never said anything but sorry's and thank you's to you!... as long as i
|
|
see no reason to fight..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
|
|
'.' The Game of Godd - By Dark Phiber '.'
|
|
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
REM * This a game based on Godd's life and times. It is the for de TeXt * REM
|
|
REM * FoReCaSteRs. Programmed in Qbasic for that 100% WaReZ affect!!!1 * REM
|
|
|
|
CLS
|
|
COLOR 5: PRINT "_____ |~~ \__/ _____"
|
|
PRINT " | |- | |"
|
|
PRINT " | |__ /-\ |"
|
|
PRINT "|--- __ /--\ |~~ | / /--\ ---/ /-_-\ |~~ /--\ ---/"
|
|
PRINT "|-- | | |--/ |- |x |--| / | |- |--/ / "
|
|
PRINT "| |__| | \ |__ | \ | | /___ | |__ | \ /___"
|
|
PRINT
|
|
PRINT "...presents..."
|
|
10 COLOR 15: PRINT "Godd's Adventures in AYCHE/PEE Land v.98"
|
|
11 PRINT "Please turn on your caps lock and hit enter to continue....": INPUT R$
|
|
30 CLS : COLOR 4: PRINT "Scene: You are Godd one of the most famous people in 215."
|
|
31 PRINT "You have decided to become k-rad and open up your own BBS."
|
|
32 PRINT "What would you like to name your BBS?"
|
|
33 INPUT B$
|
|
34 PRINT " ": PRINT "So you have decided to call your board "; B$; "."
|
|
35 PRINT "You make an add for your BBS which states the following:"
|
|
36 COLOR 9: PRINT "Call "; B$; "....."
|
|
37 PRINT "It's lame, it's ashame, and my underwear is shit stained,"
|
|
38 PRINT "but that's no reason not to call "; B$
|
|
39 PRINT "215.744.4944 Node 1 215.744.0225 Node 2"
|
|
40 COLOR 4: PRINT "Before long every lamer in 215 is on your BBS."
|
|
45 PRINT " ": PRINT " "
|
|
50 PRINT "Now that you set up your board it's time to have some fun.": GOTO 55
|
|
51 PRINT " ": PRINT "Now that you have your board and your friends, what would you like to do?"
|
|
52 PRINT " ": PRINT "Now that you have a board and some enemies, what would you like to do?"
|
|
55 PRINT "What do you want to do?"
|
|
60 PRINT "1) Make some friends"
|
|
65 PRINT "2) Make some enemies"
|
|
70 PRINT "3) Start your own group"
|
|
75 PRINT "4) Join another group"
|
|
76 PRINT "Choose (hit 5 to quit)": INPUT D
|
|
80 IF D = 1 THEN GOTO 105
|
|
85 IF D = 2 THEN GOTO 165
|
|
90 IF D = 3 THEN GOTO 400
|
|
95 IF D = 4 THEN GOTO 430
|
|
100 IF D = 5 THEN COLOR 15: PRINT "Quiting already? You really are a l00zer!": END
|
|
105 PRINT " ": PRINT "You set out to find some friends."
|
|
110 COLOR 4: PRINT "Who would you like your friends to be?": INPUT F1$
|
|
111 IF F1$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 132
|
|
112 IF F1$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 133
|
|
113 IF F1$ = "DARK PHIBER" THEN GOTO 134
|
|
115 PRINT "Enter another friends name:(enter no if you are done)": INPUT F2$
|
|
116 IF F2$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 132
|
|
117 IF F2$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 133
|
|
118 IF F2$ = "DARK PHIBER" GOTO 134
|
|
120 IF F2$ = "NO" THEN GOTO 145
|
|
125 PRINT "Enter another friends name:(enter no if you are done)": INPUT F3$
|
|
126 IF F3$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 132
|
|
127 IF F3$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 133
|
|
128 IF F3$ = "DARK PHIBER" THEN GOTO 134
|
|
130 IF F3$ = "NO" THEN GOTO 155
|
|
131 GOTO 135
|
|
132 COLOR 15: PRINT "Yeah..right, get lost!": GOTO 110
|
|
133 COLOR 15: PRINT "No way in HoE. I phear Mogel!": GOTO 110
|
|
134 COLOR 15: PRINT "Yeah and monkeys may fly out my ass!": GOTO 110
|
|
135 PRINT " ": PRINT "You have found some new friends. "; F1$; ", "; F2$; ", and "; F3$
|
|
140 PRINT "become your posse."
|
|
141 GOTO 51
|
|
145 PRINT " ": PRINT F1$; " becomes your best friend. You and "; F1$; " are your"
|
|
150 PRINT "own posse."
|
|
151 GOTO 51
|
|
155 PRINT " ": PRINT F1$; " and "; F2$; " are now your friends and join your"
|
|
160 PRINT "posse."
|
|
161 GOTO 51
|
|
165 PRINT " ": PRINT "So you want to make some enemies. That won't"
|
|
170 PRINT "be too hard for yourself."
|
|
171 PRINT " ": PRINT "Would you like to pick your own enemies or pick from a"
|
|
172 PRINT "list."
|
|
173 PRINT " ": PRINT "Type 1 to pick your own or 2 to pick from the list(type 3 to return to the main menu)": INPUT E
|
|
174 IF E = 1 THEN GOTO 180
|
|
175 IF E = 2 THEN GOTO 210
|
|
176 IF E = 3 THEN GOTO 52
|
|
180 PRINT "Enter the name of the person you want to become enemies"
|
|
185 PRINT "with:": INPUT E$
|
|
186 IF E$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 250
|
|
187 IF E$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 305
|
|
188 IF E$ = "DARK PHIBER" THEN GOTO 335
|
|
190 PRINT " ": PRINT E$; " finally starts to hate you after you harass him on all"
|
|
195 PRINT "the local boards, but in the end "; E$; " makes"
|
|
200 PRINT "you look like an ass."
|
|
205 GOTO 171
|
|
210 PRINT " ": PRINT "Choose one from the list:"
|
|
215 PRINT "1) KAOS"
|
|
220 PRINT "2) MOGEL"
|
|
225 PRINT "3) DARK PHIBER"
|
|
230 PRINT "Enter the number of your choice:": INPUT E
|
|
235 IF E = 1 THEN GOTO 250
|
|
240 IF E = 2 THEN GOTO 305
|
|
245 IF E = 3 THEN GOTO 335
|
|
250 PRINT " ": PRINT " "
|
|
255 PRINT "You start your terror on Kaos after he logs onto"
|
|
260 PRINT "your board, "; B$; ". You flame each other for a while, but"
|
|
265 PRINT "then you got pissed and kicked him off your board."
|
|
270 PRINT "He then kept trying to logon to your board under different"
|
|
275 PRINT "accounts. You get the best of him when you find out"
|
|
280 PRINT "his info and post it all over The Pit and hack"
|
|
285 PRINT "a few of his accounts on some shitty local boards."
|
|
290 PRINT "You can consider this your first victory."
|
|
300 GOTO 171
|
|
305 PRINT " ": PRINT "Mogel has called into your BBS a few times. Since he runs"
|
|
310 PRINT "a fairly large and popular group you find the need to"
|
|
315 PRINT "attack him for no reason at all. Mogel is much to witty for"
|
|
320 PRINT "you and no matter what you say, he always gets the best of you."
|
|
325 PRINT "You find it best to make amends with Mogel and leave him alone."
|
|
330 GOTO 171
|
|
335 PRINT " ": PRINT "Dark Phiber was probably the worst person you could have ever"
|
|
340 PRINT "became enemies with. Kaos helped Dark Phiber and got your real"
|
|
345 PRINT "name, Matt Baumbach. That was all Dark Phiber needed to start his"
|
|
350 PRINT "terror on YOU! He started merely by making prank phone calls to"
|
|
355 PRINT "your house harassing your parents. Then he put Ultra Call"
|
|
360 PRINT "Forwarding on your BBS line and forwarded it to the Secret Service"
|
|
365 PRINT "in Philadelphia one night. In all that was going on, your parents"
|
|
370 PRINT "also found out that you were running a BBS that they didn't know"
|
|
375 PRINT "about. They made you shut that down. Dark Phiber definitely got"
|
|
380 PRINT "the best of you and you pretty much dropped out of the scene."
|
|
390 COLOR 15: PRINT "You lose!": END
|
|
395 GOTO 171
|
|
400 PRINT " ": PRINT "After you start your BBS and it gets off it's feet you"
|
|
405 PRINT "decide to start up your own group."
|
|
410 PRINT " ": PRINT "What would you like to name your group?": INPUT G$
|
|
415 PRINT " ": PRINT "So "; G$; " puts out it's first pak and takes 215 by storm. But later"
|
|
420 PRINT "on you deny you ever wrote anything for "; G$; " and Problemed gets"
|
|
425 PRINT "all the credit.": PRINT " ": GOTO 55
|
|
430 PRINT " ": PRINT "You search out some of the /<-raddest groups you can find to join."
|
|
435 PRINT "What group would you like to apply for? (type NO to quit).": INPUT R$
|
|
436 IF R$ = "NO" THEN PRINT " ": GOTO 55
|
|
440 IF R$ = "HOE" THEN GOTO 465
|
|
445 IF R$ = "CAFBL" THEN GOTO 475
|
|
450 PRINT " ": PRINT "You apply for "; R$; " and get into the group. Although they are"
|
|
455 PRINT "glad to have you, the group does become a little but lamer now"
|
|
460 PRINT "that you are a member.": GOTO 430
|
|
465 PRINT " ": PRINT "Do you actually think you could get into something as kewl as Hoe?"
|
|
470 PRINT "What they write sarcastically, you write it seriously.": GOTO 430
|
|
475 PRINT " ": PRINT "You don't have the H/P knowledge to even be considered to join CAFBL.": GOTO 430
|
|
|
|
|
|
'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
|
|
'.' The Return Box, By Mogel '.'
|
|
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
We'Re TeXt PhorKaZTiN' iN
|
|
..... .......
|
|
... . .......
|
|
..... ... ...
|
|
.. ... ....
|
|
..... ... ....
|
|
.......
|
|
....
|
|
|
|
______
|
|
|| ___ "The Return Box"
|
|
|| ||__ --------------
|
|
|| ||
|
|
Satan's Sanctuary By -> Mogel
|
|
|
|
[This Box deeply inspired by the raddy-rad GoDD Lock Box file!]
|
|
[With special help from Lucifuge and Crank in a Teleconfrence]
|
|
|
|
|
|
Uses:
|
|
This is for all you guys that wonna (note: I spelled it "wonna" just like
|
|
GoDD always does) look like the kinda guy that is a guy and can do that guy
|
|
type-o-guy stuff with the "i know you - even if you don't know how i know
|
|
you" guy guy guy. That's the kinda guy I am, I can tell you all my sUpAh
|
|
phreakin' sEkReTz. Okay, here it goes...
|
|
|
|
*69 command - This is a command implemented that calls the person that just
|
|
called you back. We in the elite h4qR biz call it "return calling". It's
|
|
like tracing. Except not as good. But what can you expect from mA b3ll!?
|
|
Ah, but there's more. All kinds of neat trixxx are abound in the mysterious
|
|
*69 k0de for y3w t3w r4p3. Here's just s0me:
|
|
|
|
1] Dual Crank-Caller - When you get one of those rude cRAnK callers that
|
|
hang up as soon as you pick up the phone you can use the box and call them
|
|
back. Then as soon as they pick up the phone you hang up on them - perfect
|
|
equality!@!
|
|
|
|
3] Revenge. Go to one of your enemies homes and continuously keep dialing *69
|
|
and rack up the phone bill, slowly adding 30 cent charges. This might seem
|
|
slower than simply calling Guam and leaving the phone off hook, but hey you
|
|
can hit some buttons!
|
|
|
|
4] This is an optional way to construct a box, in case you think it's "not a
|
|
real box" unless you go to radio shack. Go to Radio shack. Ask the guy
|
|
behind the counter for a tone dialer... laugh when he calls he calls you a
|
|
"hacker" and and say "n0t m33 d00d!@!". Call Digikey -> 1800DIGIKEY. Order
|
|
the same crystal that's already in the box! Now buy a new soldering iron,
|
|
even if you already have one. Properly de-solder the crystal and make sure
|
|
that there's no glue left over. Solder the new crystal in, but make sure
|
|
the side of the crystal you solder in has the numbers up, so people know
|
|
it's NOT the crystal the box came with. Screw yer box back together. Now
|
|
go back to radio shack. This part takes 4 months, but it's worth it - ask
|
|
the d00d behind the counter for a "battery of the month club". Get one of
|
|
the red AAA batteries with your "battery the month card" and let him punch
|
|
out this month's "number" (elite tip - do this at the end of the month so
|
|
you can go back the next day and get yer second battery) do this until you
|
|
have 4 batteries. Place the batteries in yer return box and take the card out
|
|
of the back where you list all yer stored phone numbers. Write "Return Box"
|
|
with a red crayon in the "P1" slot. Now flip the card over and read the
|
|
instructions on how to program the memory spot to make your return box
|
|
activate with one button. Now go to sk00l and sell it one of yer hacker d00d
|
|
friends for 50 dollars. You are now truly 3113t3 and a phreaker. You will be
|
|
famous and your work is in demand. It takes 4 months to make each one so
|
|
it's even more in demand. Man, this paragraph was long.
|
|
|
|
Needs ->
|
|
A Phone
|
|
At least one working finger
|
|
A way to get the phone to your ear
|
|
The "*" and the "6" and the "9" buttons
|
|
A dial tone
|
|
a IQ over 75
|
|
Sufficient Motor skills to hit the buttons
|
|
|
|
Cost ->
|
|
Approximate $.30
|
|
|
|
/<-Features ->
|
|
|
|
Do you really need some selling points for this Box? Okay here you go:
|
|
|
|
a) Makes a cool noise.
|
|
b) only 3 digits! whee!
|
|
c) if you take off the * it's a cool position.
|
|
d) the 6 and 9 are close together so it's real easy to hit.
|
|
e) the letters spell "MY", "OX", and "OW".
|
|
f) You can pay 6 BuX to not have any more *69 charges. m4k3z zentz.
|
|
g) if you get off on the operators voice, then it's extra cool.
|
|
h) you don't have to go to radio shack to buy parts.
|
|
i) there's not too many digits in it, so if you wonna (note: wonna!) dial
|
|
with your pinky then it won't get you tired.
|
|
j) it's so elite! it starts with a hip '*'!
|
|
k) it's just really 'k'.
|
|
|
|
[Special Note: During the writing of this text file, Lucifuge instantly
|
|
became cool to cRAnK's eyes. Thanks again ultimately go to Mogel and his
|
|
now infamous-before-it-was-released Return box. All hail the return box!]
|
|
|
|
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
| |
|
|
| ...Interview with Swamp Ratte' of cDc... |
|
|
| |
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
|
|
1] How the poop did you ever originally get such a spiffy god-damned handle?
|
|
|
|
I used to spend my days when I was little running around through the woods in
|
|
Ohio around my parents' house. These woods contained a huge swamp which I'd
|
|
fall into a lot and get covered with sewage. Cool. Rats are cool, too.
|
|
Really though, it's just another "dumb animal" handle and I spell it
|
|
differently to not be confused with however many other people call themselves
|
|
the same thing. If i'd been thinking ahead, I would have come up with
|
|
something more unique.
|
|
|
|
BTW, "Ratte'" is just pronounced "rat." It ain't pseudo-French.
|
|
|
|
2] How old were you and what was it that got you into this whole shin-dig?
|
|
|
|
In 1980, the UPS Man brought a gnarly Apple II+ w/48k RAM and one 140k disk
|
|
drive to the house. I was ten years old and it was about the coolest thing
|
|
anyone had ever seen. Friends would come over and we'd play lots of
|
|
Wizardry, Apple Panic, Space Eggs, Bill Budge's Space Album...early stuff
|
|
like that. Write lame little things in Applesoft. Read Softalk, Creative
|
|
Computing, and Hardcore Computist magazines. In '82 at school I was
|
|
introduced by some other kids to the concept of WAREZ. Woah. As everybody
|
|
knows, when you're 12 that means all the video games you could ever want,
|
|
free. With those way-cool "CRACKED BY MR. KRAC-MAN!!" sector edits and the
|
|
names of the first two pirate groups splattered all over 'em... The Apple
|
|
Mafia and The Untouchables. It was intriguing.
|
|
|
|
I started calling boards in '84. There were maybe a half-dozen or so of us
|
|
local younger teens who were all running boards by this time on Apple II's,
|
|
TI 99/4A's, and Atari 800's. The BBS software was all original or so
|
|
modded-out that you couldn't tell what it was originally. It was a
|
|
tightly-knit group and we had a lot of fun doing messed-up board mods that
|
|
freaked out the old tech-oriented users who only called Fidos.
|
|
|
|
This is what cDc originally grew out of.
|
|
|
|
The Egyptian Lover of the Phoneline Phantoms was our local elite guy (he had
|
|
an AppleCat modem while nobody else did) and he ran a board called The
|
|
Missing Link which was a big deal at the time. He helped Franken Gibe and I
|
|
get going with the low-level telecom stuff of the day... easy local codes,
|
|
extenders, WATS Metros, boxing, bridges, Alliance conferences, etc.
|
|
_Wargames_-era things, as we were all part of that early '80s big wave of
|
|
h/p kids. The best thing about The Missing Link though was that it had
|
|
something brand-new... text-files! This was a HUGE conceptual shift right
|
|
there. You had goofy things like "How to Hijack a School Bus" and then tech
|
|
info like thermite recipes and "The Book of BIOC" which started unravelling
|
|
the mysteries of the phone system. The whole concept was mind-blowing. Any
|
|
kid just like us, who could get to a computer could boot up AppleWriter or
|
|
whatever and just write something... how to solve Zork, revenge fantasies
|
|
involving parents, ANYTHING. Use a 5-digit MCI code (so easy to get you
|
|
could hack one by hand in a few minutes) to call The Metal AE or Ripco and
|
|
upload it. Within a day, this self-published t-file would have spread across
|
|
the USA and was being read by hundreds, thousands of kids. Who would write
|
|
their own stuff and do the same thing. There's never been anything else like
|
|
it. It was totally BY these kids, FOR these kids. That's something a lot of
|
|
people don't seem to understand, like the way our file "Sex With Satan" was
|
|
featured on _Geraldo_ and cDc was referred to as "a bunch of sickos" by the
|
|
host. Sure, the file's pretty dumb, but the point is that it was written by
|
|
a 14-year old. Not some middle-aged pervert trolling for little kids, but a
|
|
bored jr. high student writing for other kids in the same age range with the
|
|
same sense of humor. Nobody cares if you don't get it, Mr. Rivera, you're
|
|
not _supposed_ to.
|
|
|
|
The first group of people to really grasp the concept and start doing
|
|
organized electronic publishing was Anarchy, Inc. in 1984. They were
|
|
followed by the Neon Knights, cDc(under the name "Pan-Galactic Entropy"), and
|
|
then Phrack Magazine in '85. Presently, some of the former members of
|
|
Anarchy, Inc. are responsible for the Waffle BBS software. The Neon Knights
|
|
are long gone, while cDc continues and Phrack has changed editors several
|
|
times but persists.
|
|
|
|
3] Why do you continue doing such socially IMPORTANT work?
|
|
|
|
That's a scary question. Sarcasm, sarcasm. Well, see, it's like this. I
|
|
don't *like* computers. I don't dig messing with them for hours for the sake
|
|
of messing. Or struggling to get a hard drive running or taking care of some
|
|
obscure little software problem. The "computer as LEGO set" analogy has
|
|
never really worked for me. I've got plenty of patience to _deal_ with
|
|
computers *when there's some definite point to it.* I think of computers
|
|
as... tools to do something that's hopefully cool with. I've always felt
|
|
this need to make things, to produce. I happen to use computers for some of
|
|
the stuff I make. And telecom gives me a really good way to distribute some
|
|
of the stuff, too. It's a piece of equipment. Not a "friend," not a
|
|
"life"...yeesh... get away from me with that new-school "cybersurfing
|
|
info-junkie" zombie talk. Buncha middle-aged Star Trek freaks wearing
|
|
polyster pants and arguing about IRQ conflicts is where THAT road leads to.
|
|
If you're headed that way, GET OFF THAT BUS NOW, man. That's my advice. I'm
|
|
not into escapism... not much TV, fantasy/sci-fi books, drugs, role-playing
|
|
games, or sitting on my ass trying desperately to forget the world with my
|
|
modem. It's all the same.
|
|
|
|
cDc was unique when we started in that we were/are about using technology
|
|
as a means to an end, never was the technology an end to itself.
|
|
The medium is NOT the message. The message is the message, and the medium is
|
|
insignificant when it can be taken for granted. That's what we want.
|
|
|
|
4] Do you have a life? If so, what are some real world interests of yours?
|
|
|
|
Damn, I hope I have a life. That'd be cool. Anyhow, I keep busy enough.
|
|
|
|
Physical stuff: I like bike riding (BMX, mountain, street), working out,
|
|
playing Ultimate Frisbee, skating (boarding, in-line), mind-in-a-mess walks
|
|
at 3am, Breaking & Entering, Trespassing, going to most all of the punk shows
|
|
that hit town, dancing at raves, and dinking around at playgrounds like an
|
|
idiot. One of my goals is to someday have an indoor full-sized trampoline.
|
|
That would rock.
|
|
|
|
Music is a big deal to me. I listen to and dig everything from death metal
|
|
to disco. I was playing bass in a hardcore metal/punk band Tragic Machine up
|
|
until a month ago, and I play guitar and keyboards. I rap & produce music
|
|
for my punk/hip-hop band Weasel-MX, produce for a dub/funk project, rap and
|
|
produce for another dancehall reggae/hip-hop crew called Primordial Dub, and
|
|
have a solo thing called Squint Thrust. I've got a little recording studio
|
|
place downtown where I do demos for other (mostly rock) bands and record my
|
|
own projects. It's fun and makes a little money (too little).
|
|
|
|
I make t-shirts and hats and stickers and put out tapes myself, and that's
|
|
all cDc stuff. I legally own the name "cDc communications" and "Cult of the
|
|
Dead Cow" is the trademark, so it's for real and that's the name I use for
|
|
the stuff I make. Doing graphic designs for those things is pretty fun, wish
|
|
I had a rad Mac setup for it.
|
|
|
|
Other than that, I'm a senior telecommunications major and I DJ at the
|
|
college radio station. I need to hurry up and finish and try to get a real
|
|
job, eh.
|
|
|
|
So that's literally all I ever do... school and music and make stuff and
|
|
exercise and I'm never bored. I don't know if that's really good for me or
|
|
not though. I just work, that's it.
|
|
|
|
5] What person in the world is the /<-RaDDeZT eleet guy dat makes you happy?
|
|
|
|
I'm not sure how to answer this. "What person makes me happy?" Nobody in
|
|
particular. Well, I know some nice people and that's good.
|
|
|
|
Um. Like this, "Who are the /<-RaDDeZT eleet guy(s)?"
|
|
All the cDc cats are like some of the most creative and hypest people around
|
|
I could ever hope to be associated with. The Gonif (Natl. Enlightener),
|
|
The Daredevil (Anarchy, Inc.), Evel Knievel, all the editors Phrack's had,
|
|
Lord Digital, Jesus, Muhammed Ali, Steve Wozniak, The Knights Of Shadow,
|
|
Rick Rubin, Abbie Hoffman (YIPL, know your roots), Ian MacKaye, Malcolm X,
|
|
Video Vindicator (Mr. Fraud), and Mr. T (The A-Team).
|
|
|
|
6] Who is the most ANNOYING person you have ever known? oh, and WHY...
|
|
|
|
Hmm. I like most everybody, it's just certain traits I don't care for.
|
|
Lying, backstabbing, the usual Bad Person things like that are... bad.
|
|
Uh. People's point of not returning phone calls. The need some h/p kids
|
|
feel to call me and "show off" all their info while I'm on the line by
|
|
dialing all these bridges and stuff. I'm usually happy to talk about
|
|
anything, it's just the showing off part that's not so good. Kinda
|
|
pretentious. Overall, this is the big one: how huge numbers of people go out
|
|
of their way to act/look/seem "weird" or "different" in a feeble attempt to
|
|
be interesting. IT DOESN'T WORK. NOTHING IS IMPRESSIVE, GET IT?
|
|
EVERYTHING'S BEEN DONE, SO RELAX AND BE YOURSELF. If you're a freak, you're
|
|
a freak and that's fine (so am I)... but LET'S NOT FAKE IT, SHALL WE?
|
|
Please. Please?! You can cover your entire surface area with tattoo ink;
|
|
you can pierce every square inch of your body; you can make your hair shine
|
|
with colors previously unseen in the known universe; you can adopt any number
|
|
of mix-and-match gender roles; you can swear endlessly with every possible
|
|
combination of "mother" and "fucker"; you can put every chemical you can beg,
|
|
borrow, and steal into your system; you can talk about your fascination with
|
|
vampires and death and black clothes and how English accents are just too
|
|
cool; you can mull over coffee-derived drinks and discuss anything, so long
|
|
as it's obscure... French philosophers, music... and make plans to motivate
|
|
the proletariat into doing your bidding... and you know what?
|
|
NONE OF IT MAKES A DAMN BIT OF DIFFERENCE. SHOCK VALUE IS NULL AND VOID
|
|
AND IT WAS ONLY FOR SQUARES ANYWAYS. Thanx!
|
|
|
|
7] What direction do you see your zine heading in?
|
|
|
|
More more more. Bigger media presence. Graphics. Music distribution is
|
|
gonna be looking really interesting through telecom pretty soon and we wanna
|
|
be involved with that. We intended to be like a D.I.Y. Time/Warner, looking
|
|
for new valid means of distributing cool stuff, cheap.
|
|
|
|
8] Toilet Paper - Folded or Crumpled?
|
|
|
|
Folded. This is too serious a situation to trust to the inherent randomness
|
|
of a crumpled wad.
|
|
|
|
9] If you were to die tomorrow and wanted to leave one quote that everyone
|
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would remember you by, what would that be?
|
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"Get real. Sit down. Shut up."
|
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Nah. My real thoughts sound too much like a shoe commercial.
|
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|
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10] What would be the first thing that came to your mind when I say "zine"?
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Ball-PEEN hammer? Disco-dancin' boogie MACHINE?
|
|
I like to read CRANK and agree with most of its sentiments. BABY SUE
|
|
is funny. COMETBUS is always interesting. SCAM, BIG BROTHER (skate), and
|
|
THORAZINE are cool. Those are my favorites.
|
|
I read MAXIMUMROCKNROLL and FLIPSIDE too but don't really know why.
|
|
|
|
CONTACT:
|
|
Swamp Ratte'/KPND/cDc communications/CULT OF THE DEAD COW/Scary Bug Laboratory
|
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P.O. Box 53011
|
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Lubbock, TX 79453
|
|
Email: sratte@phantom.com, sratte@cascade.net
|
|
|
|
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
| |
|
|
| ...Interview with Lobo of the 'zine GwD... |
|
|
| |
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
[Editors Note: Don't compare this to Swamp Ratte's Interview.. heh..]
|
|
|
|
1] How the poop did you ever originally get such a spiffy god-damned handle?
|
|
|
|
i was thinking of a handle and was gonna be 'ghost rider' or something, but
|
|
Lobo is just such a badass and i could definitely see myself as an
|
|
intergalactic bounty hunter. well, not really. he is a bad-ass though.
|
|
|
|
2] How old were you and what was it that got you into this whole shin-dig?
|
|
|
|
14
|
|
|
|
3] Why do you continue doing such socially IMPORTANT work?
|
|
|
|
a fanatical devotion to the pope.
|
|
|
|
4] Do you have a life? If so, what are some real world interests of yours?
|
|
|
|
yes. i geek. no, seriously, i program (somewhat badly) and go to school and
|
|
watch tv and read comix and listen to k-rad musik.
|
|
|
|
5] What person in the world is the /<-RaDDeZT eleet guy dat makes you happy
|
|
|
|
either franken gibe or swamp ratte or zen or zelia winter/calypso or
|
|
diamondback or seth sometimes or zippy or any of the other elite d00ds i hang
|
|
around with in 806.
|
|
|
|
6] Who is the most ANNOYING person you have ever known? oh, and WHY...
|
|
|
|
boffo. she was so dumb. or this guy in my cs class named adam who is so
|
|
stupid he sat through an entire period (on the day of a test, mind you) and
|
|
didn't do any of the test questions cuz his program wouldn't compile because
|
|
he forgot to put 'uses wincrt' at the top. windows tp sucks.
|
|
|
|
7] What direction do you see your zine heading in? (this one begs for jokes
|
|
|
|
well, if you mean GwD than i (hopefully) see it heading in the right
|
|
direction, ie. toward being as k-k00l as i'd always wanted it to be.
|
|
|
|
8] Toilet Paper - Folded or Crumpled?
|
|
|
|
both, yet neither.
|
|
|
|
9] If you were to die tomorrow and wanted to leave one quote that everyone
|
|
|
|
Hi guys.
|
|
|
|
10] What would be the first thing that came to your mind when I say "zine"?
|
|
|
|
cDc, and then elite.
|
|
|
|
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
| |
|
|
| ...The HoE Index... |
|
|
\ /
|
|
/=-~~-|-|-|-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-|-|-|-|~~~~~~~~~~~-=\
|
|
|# Title Author |
|
|
\=-__-|-|-|-____________________________________________-|-|-|-|___________-=/
|
|
|
|
[1] The Entropic Theme Song Defiant
|
|
[2] The Wrecking Ball! Fuzzy
|
|
[3] Microwave Bomb Shot Gun Willie
|
|
[4] Meaningful Shit Mogel
|
|
[5] Eternal Sickness v1.1 The Guest
|
|
[6] Nirvana Unlimited Mogel
|
|
[7] Ping Pong Bomb Everlast
|
|
[8] The End is Near Mogel
|
|
[9] Mortal Kombat II Docs Mogel
|
|
[10] Violent Femmes - Add it Up Mogel
|
|
[11] The Beef on Ham Jeager
|
|
[12] Hate Edge Abigwar
|
|
[13] Paradise Lost Corrosion
|
|
[14] Rage Against the Machine Lyrics Everlast
|
|
[15] C'est Le Mort Corrosion
|
|
[16] How 2 B ]<001 Anarkustz Mogel
|
|
[17] ChroniC Must Be Destroyed Abigwar
|
|
[18] Random Spam Zorro
|
|
[19] Darkness Abigwar
|
|
[20] HOE-DATE #1 Mogel
|
|
[21] The Poetic Terrorist Abigwar
|
|
[22] My Penis Unbound Mogel
|
|
[23] Thinking Abigwar
|
|
[24] The )<-RaD ]<0MPiLATi0N! Three d00dz
|
|
[25] Stars and Stripes Lyrics Abigwar
|
|
[26] The Red Ant File Abigwar
|
|
[27] Revenge of the Nerds Mogel
|
|
[28] Rifts Character Selection List Mogel
|
|
[29] Fucked up Things Chal e. Mac
|
|
[30] The Poetic Terrorist 2 Abigwar
|
|
[31] The TRUE Clash of the Titans! Psycho Santa
|
|
[32] Proof on the Questions Abigwar
|
|
[33] King Missile Lyrics /<0rrUpT
|
|
[34] Pink Noise Obscure Images
|
|
[35] Bob the Prophet Logik
|
|
[36] The gNu Hog Order Corrosion & Mogel
|
|
[37] Peanut Heaven Black Francis
|
|
[38] /<-RaD Alert! Mad Arab
|
|
[39] Mogel *WILL* Marry Winona Ryder Mogel
|
|
[40] HOE-DATE #2 Mogel
|
|
[41] The Instant /<-KiT Mad Arab
|
|
[42] The Gods Sent Us for Shrooms Abigwar
|
|
[43] Have You Called Your Psychic Friend Today? Chal e. Mac
|
|
[44] Cindy Wants Us Dead! Abigwar
|
|
[45] The Meaning of Life and How to Hack it Mogel
|
|
[46] Bus Driver Irv Corrosion
|
|
[47] Religion with Eggs & Coffee Defiant
|
|
[48] Without Want or Need Half-Baked
|
|
[49] Searching Abigwar
|
|
[50] Who the Hell are ya'? Hoe Shmoes
|
|
[51] Stand Back! It's the MODEM MAFIA! Chal e. Mac
|
|
[52] The Lump from the Dump Visioknight
|
|
[53] Satisfaction The Chickenlord
|
|
[54] Excuse Me, Could You Remove Your Steatopygous? Mogel
|
|
[55] I Object! : The Introduction to Being a Lawyer Charlie
|
|
[56] The Sandwich Black Francis
|
|
[57] A Vampire's Thoughts Vampire
|
|
[58] The Smile That Couldn't Have Been Forgotten Mogel
|
|
[59] Santa Claus Must Die! The Chickenlord
|
|
[60] HOE-DATE #3 Mogel
|
|
[61] True Stories from Pathological Liars Alex Swain
|
|
[62] My Application to [NAME OF COLLEGE HERE] Thanatos
|
|
[63] Everything Inbetween IM2K4U2C
|
|
[64] Take a Wiz, Make me Jiz Mogel
|
|
[65] My BA in Attitude DisordeR
|
|
[66] Life and the IRC Log Dash
|
|
[67] So This is How it Ends for Us? Abigwar
|
|
[68] About Nothin' Spiff
|
|
[69] Why Information Must be Free Mr. Sandman
|
|
[70] The Massive ELiTE! Interview Mogel
|
|
[71] Biff Redneck Goes to the Big City Sed
|
|
[72] There's Pain in There Mogel
|
|
[73] Ripping & Screaming Your Way to a Better You KidKnee
|
|
[74] The Great CyberSpace Coaster Chat Board Caper IM2K4U2C
|
|
[75] Cockroach Assault Alex Seigel
|
|
[76] Home and Garden M0rpheus
|
|
[77] The Other Side of the Mirror Black Sunshine
|
|
[78] The Oedipus Complex in Modern Day Terms James Hetfield
|
|
[79] Behind the Mask The Stranger
|
|
[80] HOE-DATE #4 Mogel
|
|
|
|
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
| |
|
|
| ...Goat Blowers Anonymous Plug... |
|
|
| |
|
|
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
|
|
|
|
Billy couldn't fight the feeling anymore. It was simply too much to ignore.
|
|
He had to indulge. That was the day he found old Ben. This was no cow. This
|
|
was no pig. This was no horse. It was goat. Pure, untamed, and beautiful.
|
|
|
|
PET NO MORE.
|
|
|
|
No, he just couldn't resist. It was just too much temptation. It was the
|
|
beginning and the end of his life at the same time. Billy found his way to...
|
|
|
|
.---------------------------------------------------------------------.
|
|
| G O A T B L O W E R S A N O N Y M O U S |
|
|
`---------------------------------------------------------------------'
|
|
|
|
"Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery."
|
|
|
|
BLAMMO!!
|
|
baa! 215/750+0392
|
|
)_) /
|
|
((______/ ''\ ...and so Billy found a new inner peace...
|
|
| /--< One with people just like him.
|
|
|||---||| The problem? The Goat.
|
|
M M M M The solution? Text. A lot of it.
|
|
Come join the Barnyard Revolution!
|
|
|
|
The largest t-file and 'zine support board in Pennsylvania!
|
|
SysOp: Black Francis / Co's: Mogel and Spiff / Mascot: God(+dd)
|
|
zines / t-files / demos / virii / bbs support / programming / sound
|
|
|
|
________________________
|
|
/ The pHuCKin' wErLd \
|
|
| h3dqErTeRz pHoR... |
|
|
.----------------------|----------------------------|----------------------.
|
|
| _ _ |
|
|
| _____ The Hogs of Entropy ((___)) |
|
|
| 6/ HOE ^..^ [ x x ] |
|
|
| \_____(oo) People in Society Suck \ / |
|
|
| WW WW (' ') |
|
|
| OINK YOU! rEaLLy ELyTe d00dz (U) .ooM |
|
|
| |
|
|
`----------------------------, .-----------------------------'
|
|
__________________________| |___________________________
|
|
/ \
|
|
| Goat Blowers Anonymous is funded by *ALL* the following groups: |
|
|
| |
|
|
| cult of the dead cow / vaginal and anal secretions / ganja magazine |
|
|
| brotherhood of gods and retards / fucked up college kids / image writing |
|
|
| m00se illuminatus / arrogant couriers wiff essays / immortal programming |
|
|
| underground experts united / state of unbeing / big fat load 'o t-files |
|
|
| greeny world domination / milk and tea / computer abuse force / bonsainet |
|
|
| misfits inc / k-rad net / cia member board / every good zine on the map |
|
|
| "It's not just a board - It's an experience!" |
|
|
\_________________________________________________________________________/
|
|
______________________________________________________________________________
|
|
(c) Copyright HoE Publications 1995. All rights reserved.
|
|
The Moral of this Text File? Mogel is an asshole. Don't you lub him for it?
|
|
-EOF
|