150 lines
9.8 KiB
Plaintext
150 lines
9.8 KiB
Plaintext
______ ______ ______________
|
|
| | | | \ |
|
|
\ / \ / ____ \ ______|
|
|
| |________| | / \ | |____
|
|
| ________ | ( {} ) | _____)
|
|
/~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | \____/ | |______ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
|
|
| |~~~~~~~ / \ / \ / | ~~~~~~~~~| |
|
|
| | |______| |______| /_____________| | |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| | ...Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| | "Behind the Mask" | |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| | By: The Stranger | |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
|
|
|
The dressing room was small compared to the large size of his body. An
|
|
odor like a traveling circus lingered in the room like a patient waiting to
|
|
see a doctor. He sat wondering if the smell was the way the room always
|
|
smelled or if he had brought it with him. Smells were important to him. He
|
|
didn't want to give off the wrong scent, it could be dangerous. He knew they
|
|
were getting close to him and they were like dogs who could smell his scent
|
|
miles away.
|
|
Then why do I go on? he thought.
|
|
Because I need to. That was the answer wasn't it? He needed to see their
|
|
eyes watch him with unconditional love, he needed to see their white fleshy
|
|
skin, to taste the wetness of it against his lips. That's why he went on, he
|
|
would die without it.
|
|
His fingers, white from the makeup, jabbed and poked across his face,
|
|
layering the colors across his skin, putting on his disguise. The red
|
|
circles around the eyes, the big red fire engine lips. They were all apart
|
|
of him now, he was a wave of colors, a collection of masks. He could hide
|
|
himself easily. It helped him get close to them, to get inside them. The
|
|
colors of the mask made them trust him and there wasn't anything he couldn't
|
|
do to them if he had their trust.
|
|
And they all trusted him. They all loved him. He made them laugh. His
|
|
painted tear down a white crusted cheek, his foolish grins and funny dances.
|
|
All were like weapons that allowed him to control them. He could watch their
|
|
smiles from behind his mask and inside he smiled along with them, but for
|
|
different reasons. For them it was joke, only a moment in time they would
|
|
soon forget. But for him it was a lifetime, squeezed into ten minutes on
|
|
stage gazing at their childhood, becoming a part of their life. And they
|
|
loved him.
|
|
Until he took of the mask.
|
|
Underneath the mask he was nothing but an old man, an old man with
|
|
wrinkles and age twisting in the skin. That wasn't what they wanted. They
|
|
wanted laughter but the man behind the mask only brought them pain. They
|
|
screamed when he touched them. He would try to show them that he was still
|
|
the man in the mask and that he only wanted to show them love they had never
|
|
felt before.
|
|
But the children still screamed.
|
|
He looked into the mirror in front of him, watched his eyes float in their
|
|
sockets gazing across the man, the figure he had become. Sometimes he felt
|
|
like such a fool. A man this age shouldn't look like this, he told himself.
|
|
Useless, when did I grow so useless? His outfit was a spectrum of colors,
|
|
bright blue and red lines stretched down across the seams. His big floppy
|
|
shoes, all part of the show, tapped on the floor below him.
|
|
When he looked in the mirror he could see the man behind the mask. He
|
|
could see his own heart, beating black in front of his eyes. And he could
|
|
see the heartbeats slowing down and the shell of lining around the heart
|
|
slowly being cut away. He could see the vile running through his veins,
|
|
poisoning him from within like the venom from a snake. He was no better than
|
|
the snake who steals the mothers eggs and eats them whole. No better.
|
|
She was in the mirror staring back at him. She wasn't actually in the
|
|
room but she was in the place she would forever be, in his mind. Her name
|
|
was Cameron or Candice, he couldn't remember. He called her Fire because her
|
|
hair was red and wavy like ambers of a roaring flame. She was a shy seven
|
|
year old who would have been a beautiful woman, if she had the chance to grow
|
|
up.
|
|
Fire. The name sparked in his mind like a lighter being flipped on. Her
|
|
skin was painted with red freckles and soft colored hair that tickled across
|
|
his fingers. She was so young, so precious, so eager. She followed him into
|
|
his car, stared at his funny face as they drove through the backstreets of a
|
|
town she never knew. She imagined how funny he would look driving to anyone
|
|
who would pass them on the road. But no one drove by, he had planned it that
|
|
way.
|
|
And she had cried at first, not finding the energy to scream after he had
|
|
tied her up. And he went to her, smelling the smell of youth the way a
|
|
florist knows the scent of roses, filling his nostrils up with the sweet
|
|
scent that burned in his lungs. His hands found their way under the cotton
|
|
of her clothes and then pulled them until they tore off.
|
|
Her tears streamed down across her cheeks as her face went red with
|
|
embarrassment as the old man in front of her was staring at her "girl parts"
|
|
as her mother once told her. No one was suppose to see her "girl parts" and
|
|
so she cried. And then she began to shiver and shake as the old man's
|
|
wrinkled hand began to sway between her legs.
|
|
Her cries of pain became muffled by his screams of pleasure. he untied her
|
|
legs but not her hands and then undressed himself. He opened her up and
|
|
placed himself inside, his weight almost crushing her underneath but him not
|
|
noticing. And like magic she had been taking to a place she had never known
|
|
existed. A place of sheer pain that ripped inside her. He had brought her
|
|
to his fantasy world and showed her a love she never knew of before.
|
|
Afterwords he had brought out the knife. The child was holding onto life
|
|
like the fallen cliffhanger who dangles at the end of the rope. She was
|
|
bleeding in between her legs and across her mouth and he knew that he had
|
|
broken a bone or two. The knife danced above in the air and then repetitively
|
|
flew down into her skin, taking the girl out of the daze she had been in for
|
|
the moment it took the pain to reach her brain and then as the knife cut
|
|
across her insides she lost her grip on the rope and fell into the darkness
|
|
below.
|
|
He came back from his memory and looked at the illusion of a girl standing
|
|
before him in the mirror. Her body entirely red as if she was a sponge that
|
|
had soaked up a bucket of paint. Her naked body shivering in the coldness of
|
|
death. Her eyes wide open looking into his soul asking why and damning him
|
|
for life.
|
|
He closed his eyes and washed the memory of her away, for now.
|
|
He placed the final dabs of makeup across his face, then came the silly
|
|
court jester hat and the big red nose. He stood up and walked over to the
|
|
wall mirror where he would be able to see his entire large mass. He set the
|
|
hat on straight, reached for his gloves and began to pull his fingers up the
|
|
tiny leather holes. The gloves tight, like a childs skin.
|
|
The sounds from outside growing louder as the crowd began to get settled
|
|
waiting for the show. Almost show time. Another chance to see them, to make
|
|
them laugh, to steal a part of them. He could feel himself get excited by
|
|
this and also angry at himself. His excitement usually ruled out his anger.
|
|
"Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, it's almost showtime. Pogo the
|
|
Clown will be out in only a matter of minutes, so please find your seats and
|
|
get ready to laugh and have fun" a voice said from a PA system outside of his
|
|
room.
|
|
He sighed, thinking again. Fire. Where was she now? He knew. She was
|
|
in his backyard resting. Making friends with all the creatures who lived
|
|
under the ground. That's where they all were, all the children. All buried
|
|
in his own private cemetery, resting for the moment when they would see their
|
|
families again.
|
|
A knock at the door. Perry walked in and said "Five minutes Mister Gacy."
|
|
"Thanks" John said.
|
|
Another show, another chance. He pushed the memory of former children in
|
|
the back of his mind. It was time to meet new boys and girls. It was time
|
|
to look at them and see who would be his next friend. To see who would be
|
|
the witness at his final show.
|
|
He jumped up once and then again, trying to put himself in a "clown mood".
|
|
He smiled, he laughed into the mirror. He could feel the river of vile
|
|
rising to the top of his veins, his corroded heart once again coming alive
|
|
with excitement. He turned to the door with the man behind the mask right
|
|
behind him and stepped out to ecstasy.
|
|
|
|
|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
|
|
| _____ Call Goat Blowers Anonymous for the LATEST HOE! _____ |
|
|
| 6/ ^..^ (215) 750 - 0392 ^..^ \9 |
|
|
| \_____(oo) This Issues Featured Support Board is: (oo)_____/ |
|
|
| WW WW Where Shadows Wait [SaZ WHQ] WW WW |
|
|
| (405) 354 - 9857 |
|
|
| ...the kings of modern goofiness... |
|
|
|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
|
|
Copyright (c) 1995 HoE Publications, Souls at Zero, & The Stranger-#79-5/1/95
|
|
All rights Reserved. Original edit of this file in SaZ.
|