133 lines
8.1 KiB
Plaintext
133 lines
8.1 KiB
Plaintext
______ ______ ______________
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\ / \ / ____ \ ______|
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| |________| | / \ | |____
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| ________ | ( {} ) | _____)
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/~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | \____/ | |______ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
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| |~~~~~~~ / \ / \ / | ~~~~~~~~~| |
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| | |______| |______| /_____________| | |
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| | Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
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| | "Bob the Prophet" | |
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| | By: Logik | |
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\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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*****************************************************************************
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To put it every simply.... this is a strange story with a hidden meaning.
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Not that the hidden meaning means all that much anyway, but I was REALLY
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bored so I figured I'd write something. This is what came of that. Enjoy.
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*****************************************************************************
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It was a normal day. People going where they had to go. The earth
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turned on its axis and once again I woke to a new day. The sun was shining
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and it was a comfortable, yet muggy 75 degrees. After I shut off my Mickey
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Mouse alarm I rose to my feet and looked out the window.
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"What a nice day", I thought. Well, I just had to go about my day.
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First, I made my bed. Then I took a shower...I have to be clean. Anyhow, I
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took my shower then dried off, got dressed, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast,
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then brushed my teeth again. Its always like that. In the same order too. I
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don't like being disorganized. After breakfast I noticed I was out of milk
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("AHHHHHH!!!").
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So off to ACME I went. I only shop at ACME. They always have the
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best prices, well, that's what they say on T.V. at least. I grabbed my
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wallet and headed down the concrete stairs onto the black top below. Off I
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went. When I arrived, after my five block trot, I went inside. As soon as
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I entered the door I stopped to look around.
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Everything seemed pretty normal. There was an old woman arguing with
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the cashier over the price of toilet paper. In the distance, two kids ran
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in circles, as if they could fly. I've always thought that was fun. However,
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soon their mother yelled at them to stop. The chatter of a million voices
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filled the air. Talking about this and that. "Isn't he sooooo cute?", "Did
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you see Mattock last night?", "All I did was hit him with the car", yeah,
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everything was normal.
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Everything expect for this guy in the "Fresh Fruit" section. For the
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most part he looked ordinary. He wasn't tall, he wasn't short. He had light
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brown hair and a neat little corduroy hat on. He looked like the math
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teacher everyone has at least once in their life. Still, I could tell there
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was something special about him. So, I thought about it for a moment...Did I
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see him on America's Most Wanted? No, guys on there are much more hairy. Did
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he guest host the Tonight Show? No, I would have noticed that (anything is
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better then Jay Leno). I just couldn't think of anything. I guess it really
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didn't strike me.
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That was until he shook that melon. My chin hit to the floor. As
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quickly as I could I dropped the coupons I picked up on the way in and ran
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over to the man. The song "Help me Rhonda" played over the intercom.
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Occasionally being interrupted by a muffled voice telling us of a sale in
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isle seven. When I finally reached him I only had one thing on my mind.
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"Hello, are you God?", I asked in a simple yet quiet tone. He looked
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at me with his bean like eyes and said, "Well, no. My name is Bob, but we
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are ALL God's children". Then he very simply put down the melon, gave me a
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small smile, and walked away. I picked up the fruit he was holding in his
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hands and stared at the Weekly World News at the check out counter. What
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struck me most about this mysterious man was his eyes. I could see the
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glaze that was given to him by wisdom and pain. Or maybe it was just
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contacts. In any case, I knew who I had just shared words with. I just
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couldn't believe it. I met the son of God. Everything that I was taught as
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a child came back to me. "Have Faith, He will come to save us one day, Eat
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your vegetables". It had all become clear. I new what I had to do.
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Just as quickly as before, I dropped the melon and ran over to Bob.
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I grabbed him by his shoulders and spun him to face me. I looked deeply into
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those mud colored eyes and asked him, "Bob, what is the meaning of life?"
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For a moment he said nothing. He just gave me a blank stare, almost as if
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there was something else on his mind. Soon, however, he turned and picked up
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a tomato. Then I heard the most amazing, thought provoking, words a human
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was ever privileged enough to hear.
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"Don't you hate it when you get a bruised tomato?". That put it all
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into perspective for me. A new door of light had been opened. Everything
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now has a meaning. It's all laid out before me. No longer would I search the
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dark corners of my mind, or Sunday morning television for answers. I was
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told. Life is like a tomato. Sometimes it gets bruised. You don't have to
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like it, but you have to deal with what you have. Bob is the smartest man
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the world has ever seen. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but the next
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thing I remember there was a middle aged woman tapping on my back saying,
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"Excuse me sir, could you hand me the third tomato from the right?" Of
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course I did what the woman asked. Still, I was focused more on what
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happened to Bob. He was no where to be found. It was as if he disappeared.
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After that all I could do was buy a jar of pickles and go home.
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From that day forth I have worshipped Bob. I never did see him again
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though. That's okay. I go around telling all my friends the same story I
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have just told you. I have just started up a church called B.O.B (Believe
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in Only Bob). We have one hundred members and are growing quickly. Soon,
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Bob will be more honored then Christ. Bob is our savior. I love Bob, and so
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shall you.
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(If you can't figure out what the moral of this story then
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you are exactly what I wrote it about; mindless people.)
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*****************************************************************************
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Quick shout outs (why are these things always here?):
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Mogel: Since you're writing for Image I thought I'd give ya this. urbob.
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JB: So, how do ya like the new version?
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Logik: Hey, that's me (sorry, I like to see my name :)
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All HOE writers: I love your stuff. Keep up the good work!
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Uhm.... I think that's it. Check ya'll later!
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*****************************************************************************
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Serendipity, BaBiE!
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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| Mogel-Land........2157323413 /I'm a PiG\ Paranoia Subnormal.2153395831 |
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| Hacker Crackdown..2159451907 |H )\@_@/( P| Stellar Nights.....6108969140 |
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| T.E.K.A.T.........9088132738 |o ( (o) ) i| phunkyphatphreashphunkphunk!! |
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| I Forget..........6105448001 |G <_O_> G| the NEXT generation |
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| /<RaD-/<-/< House.8103480421 |s BuUuRP! s| of stoopid... |
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| The Complex.......4107205305 \I'm a PiG/ |
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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Copyright (c) 1994 HoE Publications and Logik #35 --> 12/09/94
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All rights Reserved.
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