261 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
261 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
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\ / \ / ____ \ ______|
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| |________| | / \ | |____
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| ________ | ( {} ) | _____)
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/~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | \____/ | |______ ~~~~~~~~~~\
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| |~~~~~~~ / \ / \ / | ~~~~~~~| |
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| | |______| |______| /_____________| | |
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| | Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
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| | " Proof On the Questions! " | |
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| | By: Abigwar | |
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\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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___________________________________________________________________________
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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_______________________________/\_________________________________
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/ _____________________________/\_______________________________ \
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| | "Table of Contents! Read this NOW!!!!" | |
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| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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\_______________________________/\_________________________________/
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-(Part:)--:------(Info:)------:-----(By:)-----:--(Thanks-to:)-----------------
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Part Ao.. : Table of Contents : ....Abigwar.. : ...Ascii Artist Abigwar (Ha)..
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Part 0o.. : Introductions.... : ....Abigwar.. : ...Wombat Warriors from hell..
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Part 1o.. : 1-800-Mattres(s)? : ....Abigwar.. : ...Mogel (or Zorro, I forget).
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Part 2o.. : 1-800-ABC-DEFG?.. : ....Abigwar.. : ...Zorro......................
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Part 3o.. : 1-700-555-4141?.. : ....Abigwar.. : ...Ascii Express..............
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----------:-------------------:---------------:-------------------------------
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___________________________________________________________________________
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_______________________________/\_________________________________
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/ _____________________________/\_______________________________ \
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| | "Introduction... READ THIS NOW! HAHA!" | |
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| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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\_______________________________/\_________________________________/
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I have decided to take it upon my self to research the possibilitys
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of 3 important phone numbers. So THERE!
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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_______________________________/\_________________________________
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/ _____________________________/\_______________________________ \
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| | "1-800-M-A-T-T-R-E-S(-S) Savings? Hmm!" | |
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| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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\_______________________________/\_________________________________/
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My frist mission was the 1-800-Mattres(s) question. If you leave off the
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last S, Will you have to pay more for the mattress? After days of research,
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I gave in, and called to ask them. The first time the lady who was working
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the switch board when I called said:
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|-=-=------------------Offical-HoE-Research-Data-Start!-------------------=-=-
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| Me> "Excuse me, I was wondering if when I call your phone number, and do |
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| not leave the last 'S' off, will I end up paying more?" |
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| Them> "No sir, you do not need to, Infact, you don't even have to pay for |
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| the phone call." |
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| Me> "Ok, Thanks!" |
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| <CLiCK> |
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| Me> "HahahahahA!" |
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| Ascii Express> "Hahahahaha!" (Three way calling you know!) |
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=-=-=================================[End]================================-=-=
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Either this lady had a sence of humor, or we are on to something. In hopes
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of getting another opinion, from another operator, I have decided to call
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again. Please hold... Okay, this was a male operator:
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-=-=------------------Offical-HoE-Research-Data-Start!--------------------=-=-
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| Me> "Hello, Yes I am doing an article and I was wondering if you could tell|
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| me, if I call 1-800-mat-tres(s) and do not leave of the last 'S' will |
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| I have to pay more because I forgot to not leave off the savings?" |
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| Him> "<Snicker> Yes, it cost extra." |
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| Me> "Does it by any chance go by a certian percentage, or is it just an |
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| random amount?" |
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| Him> "It's 5% more." |
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| Me> "Ok, well, I was wondering if I could have your first name so I can |
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| quote you?" |
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| Him> "Well, What's your name?" |
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| Me> "Me, I don't have a name." |
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| Him> "Well, That is my name too. <Click>" |
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=-=-=================================[End]================================-=-=
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The data is inconclusive. The theroy is that you do pay more, and the man
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I talked to was actually higher up on the corprate ladder, and knew, while
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the woman was nothing more than a switchboard operator. Remember folks, you
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heard it hear first. If you want to buy a mattress. Leave off the last 'S'
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or you will pay 5% more!
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_______________________________/\_________________________________
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/ _____________________________/\_______________________________ \
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| | "1-800-A-B-C-D-E-F-G? I can't even read" | |
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| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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\_______________________________/\_________________________________/
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My second mission was to try and infiltrate the depths of Hooked On
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phonics, and find out, how a person is to dial, if they can't read.
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My first test came back completly negitive, and really back fired. But
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thats okay, That is what redial is for.
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-=-=------------------Offical-HoE-Research-Data-Start!--------------------=-=-
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| Me> "I was wondering if you ever had problems with people not being able |
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| to call because they can not read the A-B-C-D-E-F-G's." |
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| [An obvious self set-up to make this more funnier] |
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| Her> "Well, your asking if we would know, if they had problems, when |
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| really they wouldn't be able to dial and tell us in the first place |
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| right?" [It worked] |
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| Me> "Ummm..." [She talked too damn fast] |
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| Her> "Well, most people would at least know some one who could dial there |
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| ABC's. Ok? Thanks, Bye-Bye." [She still talked to damn fast] |
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| <click> |
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=-=-================================[End]=================================-=-=
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Hmm, This data is pretty inconclusive. Maybe we should try again. This is
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the data to my second call. Unlike above, I am writing this before I
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called, so I don't know if its gonna work out. Hopefully I will get a
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diffrent operator.
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Damn it, Here it is...
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-=-=------------------Offical-HoE-Research-Data-Start!--------------------=-=-
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| Me> "How do you expect people to dial ABCDEFG if they can't read?" |
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| Her> "Have your parents call. Thank you, bye-bye, <click>" |
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| [Whats with this 'Thank you, Bye-Bye, happy horse shit?] |
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=-=-================================[End]=================================-=-=
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Ok, well, the Magic 8-bigwar says (Eight ball thing you shake!), "Duh
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ABCDEFG theroy is that they wan't you to really on some one else to do
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your work."
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Hmm, Sounds like people have been imcriminated because they can't read.
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Just beacause they are handicaped doesn't mean that they need to mooch off
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of other people. Their plot must be to turn the world into a bunch of
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goons who can't read (Beacuse they can't call for help) or a bunch of
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mooches who rely on others to do all their work. Fucking bastards! All
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would call them back to preform another test, but I believe after #2 it
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is considered harrasment, and they record and trace all their calls, so
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I think they could press charges. Next!
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_______________________________/\_________________________________
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/ _____________________________/\_______________________________ \
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| | "1-700-555-4141 The Repeating Culprit!" | |
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| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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\_______________________________/\_________________________________/
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Ok, my final mission of the day, was to discover why when you dial
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1-700-555-4141, it gives you a message that says something like "Thank
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you for calling the AT&T long distance service. This message will *NOT*
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repeat" Then it continues repeating the message for infinity, or till you
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disconect...Which ever comes first.
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I would call right now and get a transcript of what it says for you...
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But I am to lazy to do it myself. I am going to rely on you to do it for
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me. It seems when I was testing the Hooked on Phonix, (Wait, does that
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mean it is addictive! Hahaha Bonus file tonight!) it succsessfuly changed
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me into what we had feared.
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I have come upon the theroy, that it says it is not repeating because it
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is tricking you to stay on the line longer, by waiting for it to not
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repeat. While you are waiting, it subliminly programs you. I have not
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dared to stay on long enough to find out what it will make me into. Oh
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well. Have phun with it. Amaze your friends. Dazzle your enemys... before
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you knock them senseless. Peace out yo! (Hahah maybe my little skinheaded
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ears did listen to it to long!)
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_______________________________/\_________________________________
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/ _____________________________/\_______________________________ \
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| | "Duh /<-/~aD Bonus file: Hooked on Phonix, Rehab. provided?" | |
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| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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\_______________________________/\_________________________________/
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Now that I think of it, I have one final theory to come up with
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tonight. Arn't you lucky. You have an added bonus! haha. Hold as
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I dial.
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-=-=------------------Offical-HoE-Research-Data-Start!--------------------=-=-
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| Me> "Hello, Yes, I was wondering, After I have done Hooked on Phonix, if I |
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| can't afford it anymore, Will you offer rehabilitation?" |
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| Him> <Click> |
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=-=-================================[End]=================================-=-=
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I have to theroys on this one. 1) He was too stoked on Phonix to answer
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me. Or 2) People at HoP have no sence of humor, and should take lessons
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from Dial-A-Mattress [DaM].
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Thanks, and good night!
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-Abigwar
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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| M0G3|_'Z Land.....2157323413 /I'm a PiG\ Paranoia Subnormal.2153395831 |
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| h4CkEr KrAKd0\x/n.2159451907 |H )\@_@/( P| Stellar Nights.....6108969140 |
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| t.e.k.a.t.........9088132738 |o ( (o) ) i| HoP SuX, DaM RulZ!.800MATTRES |
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| I Forget..........6105448001 |G <_O_> G| the NEXT generation |
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| /<RaD-/<-/< House.8103480421 |s BuUuRP! s| of stoopid... |
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| The Complex.......4107205305 \I'm a PiG/ |
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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Copyright (c) 1994 HoE Publications & Abigwar 032 --> 12/08/94
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All rights aRe /<-h00L!
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