214 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
214 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
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coOl kEWl Ko0l QUewl COOoL K00L koOl c00L kUEWL kco0l cO0L koOL KEwl
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cooL KEwl kO0l qUEWL COOoL k00L KOoL C00L kUewL Kco0L co0l koOl Kewl
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cOOL KEWL ko0l -------------------------------------- CO0l KOOL kEwl
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cooL KEwL Ko0L ! ThE hippiE DIpPy KLub ! co0l KoOl KEwl
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COoL KEwL KO0l ! prEezeNTZ: ! Co0l KOOL keWl
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coOl kEWL kO0L ! ! Co0L kooL keWL
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COOl kewL Ko0L ! HippiE DiPpY KluB FiLe #04 ! CO0L kOol kewL
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coOl KeWL KO0L ! bECAUSE wE sIMply HAve NOTHiNG ! CO0L KOOl kEwl
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cOOl KEwL KO0l ! BETTeR t0 DO proDuCE f0R You ! CO0l kOOL kEWL
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cOOl kEWl KO0l -------------------------------------- CO0L kOol keWl
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CooL KeWl Ko0L QueWL coOol k00l KOOl C00L kUeWL kcO0L Co0l kOoL KewL
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cool KEwL ko0l QUEwl COoOl k00L koOl c00l kuewl KCO0L co0L koOl keWL
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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L00K> tHOUght WE was G0Ne? YOu'lL NevER bEE Dat lUCky LuzZA! <K00L
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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.--------------------------------------------------.
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| daHAN gr0WS krOTCh chEese... yUMmMY F0r da TummY |
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`--------------------------------------------------'
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[W0ne] - intWodUCtiOn:
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WELL, WELl, LOOk Who iS baK. yeAh, iT be da HIPPiE dipPy FILe NumEro
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qUaTtRo. YEP, WE aRE BAK, BUT who be WE (We BE DE wE DE be wE)? welL, WEZ
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foRgOTz, BuT WEZ be A fewE. dEciPhEr dAt 0nE h0mEBOy. iT'S bEan A WiLE,
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bUt Hdk IS bAK, m0Re DIsT0rTED and GramatycAly inC0ReKt dan EVeR. WEeSON
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WE to0K SO L0Ng is j0keZ ArE HArD tO CUM BY dEEsE dAIzE, SEEYng aS Most o'
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fivEoNEF0Ur IS PAYiNg dEeR ATtENTi0n To DerE ACTI0Ns, N0T t0 LOOk like
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M0woNS. GUESs sum peEplE D0 LURN afTa A Wile. But HavE n0 fEAr, CaUSe iF
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IT'S zT00PID and LAME, We WilL diG IT UP, aND slaM IT In Ya facEz.
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IN diS ISsUE, FlashbACk, psYCHiC D0nuT, tOp teN, ANd odER MindlesS driVLe
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AND ST00PidITy, aLL becaUsE oF y0U. aLs0, DIs Part IS a LiTTle SH0RTER dAn
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befOrE, maINly bEcAUSE i PuT M0St Of MY efFOrt in 514CU.TXT, dAT yOus
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sHouLd ReaD AftA DIS.
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.-----------------------------------------------------------.
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| luzZas anD dwEEBZ UniTe: JOin KWACKzD00DEz foR k-elytNeSs |
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`-----------------------------------------------------------'
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[t00] - FlASHbAcK:
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Dis part F0KuSeZ On dA PasT. soRt O' a MemOwY B00sTEr. DiS IShue Will
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Cover SOmEtinG DAT haPpENEd aBOuT 0NE YEAR ago tHIs suMmA. OH, I AM ShOOR
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MoST o' yOu CaN RemEmbeR WAT Dat iS, and IF YA DoN'T, thEN leT Me wEFWESh
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YA MEm0ry IMPLANtz. YA GuesseD iT, K-raD elyTE gRoUpZ and nEtZ, NAMeLy da
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FOlLOWING:
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(C)uT, HiT, HiF, VOiD, GMA, AiDS, GAH (dA BesT 0nE), NeTWarP, TSRNet, aND
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My PersONnaL FavOrIte, DALlAS Barr AnD da REst o' FiS. n0TicE how NOt oNE
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of DeEse gRoupZ IS StILl arOuND todAY. aLso NOtICE HoW M0sT OF tHE 'i's
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In THE aCrOnyMS aRe LOwEr KaSED. diS BrINGZ up AnoTHer speLLInG LeSsun
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FR0M DA HiPpIe DIpPy KlUB. And yoU KN0w DAt if yoU aRE GEtTIN SPeLliNg
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LESSONs fROM hDK, yOu mUSt Be fuCkeD uP. In an acrONyMn, it'S alL KaPs,
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OR NO kaPS but dA FiRSt lEtteR iF iT's A nOuN, So:
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IT'S NOT FUCKING "UNiX" YOU TWO BIT PIECES OF WAREZ FAG NON-SPELLING
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MOUNDS OF CUM SOAKED LARVAE INFESTED ANSI DRAWING PIRATE PILES OF
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FESTERING SHIT! GET YOUR ASS BACK INTO SCHOOL, OR GO BUY A DAMN SPEAK 'N'
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SPELL, AND GET IT RIGHT!
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ok, NOW bACk to tHe fLaSHBAck. as i wuz SayiNG, IT WaS DA S0MMEr o' 91,
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DA KyddiEs WeRE baCk fR0m sKOol, AnD 514 WuZ OvErrUN By K-Rad
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HACkeR, PIRAte anD ANSi GROOpz. let'S STArT WiT da K00lEst thiNG tO HiT
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514 SiNce... SIncE... hmmm, HoLd oN A sEC... wHAt EvEr happEneD In 514?
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OH WELl, i WUz SAYing... THe K-rADesT GwoUp 0f TheM aLL, GAH. GAH? yEs,
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GAH. gaPpInG ANAl hOmos. OR GAnG ANTI haCKEr for yOu StRaIt FOlkZ. Yes,
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sOmETHiNG dat Da FBI AND RCMP haVE BEen trYing To d0 FoR YeARs, wELl fRiCk
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aNd GAH WEre goNna do IT oVErnITE. YA, THE aLl So mIGhTY FrixK, WIt hIs
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RCMP AND FBI CONNECtiOnZ. SURe, anD I'M dALe dRew. Ok, NExT We Move On TO
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thosE TuBulAr elYteS On TSRNeT. dAt's RitE, MOSt OF yoU "E1YTez" ReaDinG
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DIS now. ONe yEar aGo, wHEn PBxeS weRE EASY tO K0ME by, yOu hAD A gWEAt
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dEaL o' fUN RAGGInG oN USErS wHO DiDN't have aN HsT and weREn't k-hAPpy
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WAREZ MONgErz lIkE YoursLeveS. aHhhh... welL TIMez hAve chAngeD. most of
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YOU i Wouldn'T waLk Akr0SS (akRISskr0Ss) dA sTreet tO pIss On Your coLd
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rOttING B0Dy. yoU lOoK Pretty St00PId NOw Wit Ya $600 m0DumB AnD your $100
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phONE BiLl. HAhaHAhaHa. lOt'S O' GOod SPeED dOes YA KnOW, wHErE aS We kaN
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take All OUr tImE WiT ld BoArdZ, SInCE MOMmY dON'T HAvE to Pay our BILLz.
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yOU peOplE thoUGht YoU Wuz K0Ol CUZ ONE Of your laMe WAREZ bOaRdZ goT somE
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POOR SaP FRoM 416 tO KAll. "hEy!!$#!#@$! i'M ElytE!#@$! i got a l0NG
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DISTANce ELyTE on my BoarD, ANd NOw I gET alL The FreSH gNu waREz in 0
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SecUNdZZzz... lAmERZZZZ !!#$@$!!!!!". WELl who haS OVER 80% Ld ON His
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BOARd NOW? A WAREz BoaRd? HELL no, nOT EveN One of your k00L
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Tdt/flT/KwaCKzd00DeZ ditWO siteZ. i DAre you To NaMe me 0Ne. g0 on, w0nE
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BOrED WiTH MOre LD uSErs THan l0KALS. all THaT tHesE DAmn wareZ d00Dz
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bOaRDz hAvE Is YusERz thAT pAy, BUnch oF fuCKIn bootLeGgERS. you shOULd
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alL BE shOt While y0UR H0mOseXUAL lOvEr HUmpS Y0U SO HArD, Y0u HAVE to
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weAR A fag los ANgELES rAiDER helMEt to PrOtekT YoUr HEad whiLE it BangZ
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INtO ThE alley walL, anD YOUR ANus DRIeZ shuT BEcAsuE of HIS diseASED
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Infested spErm clOGgInG YoUr Assh0lE. wELl, N0w THAT wE GOT tHAt in the
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OPeN, lET's m0VE oN. TheN There WEre GwO0Pz LikE HiT, (C)UT, VOiD anD HIF.
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NEEd wE SAY m0rE? dIDn'T think so. TheN, tHe beAkoN OF lAmenEss IN
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FIVE0nEfOuR, the GW00p FIS (fLaMeRS ingestinG seApaGe, fULly InfECTED
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sEMEN, fLOatINg iNsiDe SEcreTiONS...) aND iT'S feaRLESS lEADER (MOre lIKE
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ChEerLEADEr) DaLlAs baRr... dA man who THOUGHt HAKIng Wuz PhUckiNg Up A
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BOaRDs anSI fiLeZ... oOOOoH, i WUz So ImPWeSsED By Dis MasteR pROGramMeR
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of BAsIC. ALl HIs K00l Basic sOUrcez, SUch tAlEnt. t0 bAd the LITTLe
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tAleNT IN HIs NEwslETTeRz wUZ RIpped FR0m groUpZ LIkE CPI anD CHINA (tHE
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gW00p, nOT Da COUNtrY you m0r0n). wH0 KAn FoRgEt His pr0UD MOmEnTS In his
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F0UR IsSUES oF da fIS NEWslETteRs. yEs, radICaL PaSSaGeS, LiKe tHe 514
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BlACkLiSt, Or ThE KO0L CRAShing LeSSuns. wELL fOr all th0Se whO mISs his
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WItTy rePARTe, FEaR No mORe, DalLs BArr Is back! i hAvE FounD HiM (With
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thE hELP OF A useR of miNe wHO PUlLED a CN/A oN His NumBeR to See IF it
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ReALLy was Good oL' MIke parnIak) IN 413 (CaLGARY), UnDA da ALIas OF "thE
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SEnTineL". he EvuN RuNZ A k00l hAcka BOarD. aNyWaYz, He's BacK to HiS LaME
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tuxT fIlEz AgAiN, And Has F0RmEd a GROUp kallEd FOG (FIst OF god). AnD,
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siNcE i AM suCH a SweLl guY, I hAVE IncludeD tHE fiRst Fog nEWSLEtTER In
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tHIS PACKagE, untOuchED, UneDited. Go HAVe A lAuGh. I makE no k0mmEntS, i
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thInK IT shOULD SpeAk fOr ITSElF. and n0W FOR a brIEF
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tpR-Sponsored-tO-tHE-Ex-mEmBErZ-of-Fis GLoSsarY of TErMz:
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HacKinG IS NOT CRAShINg a La DAllY Does bArr.
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PHREakiNG iS NOT ABuZInG k-rAd K0deZ yoU FouND On sOme lAmE BOaRD, LIke
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m0sT OF YoU PBx SEArcHING M0R0Nz Think. YOu'LL hAVe A MucH EAsIEr tIMe
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caLlING oUt WiTh a HackeD uNix AKounT Or NUI THan WId A K00l Pbx. "buT 514
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haS AlL THAt WE neeD! IT's neet0!!$!!$!@$~!". AHh, yeS, The ANSWer Of tHe
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tRULLy HopeLESs. "HEy! DUDDEZZz! I HaVE 430 PBxES, bUt i NEEd THEm
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CRAkeD!!! KAn Y0u dO iT!!@$@!!!!". "hEy, i fouND a k00L ELYTe nuI, GIMmE
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da PaSswOrd dOoDEzZZZ! l8R!!@!$@$!". alL THeSe aRE wHAt MOst OF da
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BulLShIT 514 lUsERz SAY. ShiT, i sEE iT EVerytimE I kAll. S0Me EveN senD
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me PrIvaTE eMAIL AskINg me fOR fILeS AND accEsS, As iF i Was GOing tO giVe
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A KompleTE LAMEr wHAt HE wAnTeD. DAmN wArEZ pIR8s, WORthless sACks 0F
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sHiT (ExcPET DA WAReZW0lF, hE's k00l <g>). why DOn't You trY netwORkiNg A
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litTLE, Finding OuTdIAlS? SorrY, i FoRg0t, moSt oF yOU wOuldN'T ReCoGNIZe
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a NeTW0rk if wUZ RAMmed DOwn YoUR THroaT, And PUlled oUT yO aSs wITH Half
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your digESTIvE SYStem drAggIng bEhinD, your COlon BloWiNg iN ThE Wind,
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wHiLe HoRsE FlieS LANd ON YoUR gapPing AsSholE anD StaRT MuNChinG oN tHoSe
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DrieD pIeCeS O' shYt tHAT you fOrgOT to wIpe LASt tIme YoU toOk a dumpER
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whEn you Ate SOME eX-lAX InsTeAd Of ThE kArAMIlk yOUR M0mmY GAve YOU fOr
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DEserT. tHat ENdz DIS PARt. I H0PE I oFFENeD a loT O' Youz, and YOu'll tRy
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aND InsuLt me ON thE lOkaL faG WARez DuMPs. GO For IT, I'll GeT YOu aGIn
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iN PErS0n. lUZzAS.
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.--------------------------------.
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| kKK: k00l K0DEZ KLAn - phase 2 |
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`--------------------------------'
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[trEE] - psYCHic D0Nut:
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REmEMBEr tnt, ThE bOARD THAt wENT doWn just in timE FoR iSsUe 3? WeLL
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iT LoOKS lIKe IT'S SisTeR BORED IS aLsO d0WN. daT'S rIgHT, iT SEeMS
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pSyCHihC d0nUt Got FED uP oF HIs lamE ASS BOArD, anD shUT iT dOWN. AhH,
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OUR PrAyers HAVe bean ansWErED.
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.-----------------------------------------------------.
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| FUCkyoUYoUgOddAmNedR0dEnTWARezfaggOTyOuDeseRVEtodIE |
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`-----------------------------------------------------'
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[f0r] - TOp 10:
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diS Issuez CATAGoWy: TOP 10 reaSONs sgT. rAtTlebrEaD anD psYcHIhc
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D0nuT CLOSEd doWn.
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NumBa tENn : m0mmA would N0T rAiSE dA alLOwAnce to PaY DA pH0ne BILl.
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nuMBa nYNE : Used TO geT Da SCWEEn AlL sTIckY masturBAtIng In fRonT OF
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pORNo Gifs.
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numBA atE : ONly Had 10O tUxt pHILes ON Da HaRD disK.
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NUMba SEvAN: DID Not GEt anY k-raD K0DEZ oN da bbs.
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nUMbA SICKz: Could n0T InSTALL STriP p0keR 3 wiT bbs TAKInG sPAce.
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NUMba fYvE : nEvER FIGUrEd out H0W to SETUp Dat k-rAd 16.8K M0DUMB.
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nUMBA F0R : CouLD NOT Be Site f0r k00l K-raD hacK GwoUp.
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NUmbA TREe : fUtUrE bbS SoFtwaRE (bahAHahAHAHAhAhahahAH, k00l).
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NUMbA T00 : MoMmy gOT HOme t00 eArLY.
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ANd dA NuMBer W0ne ReaSon IS: eVeWywhErE yA LOok, HIpPie dippY.
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.---------------------------------------------.
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| (C)WackerS (U)NDErgRoUnd (N)atIONaL (T)RiBe |
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`---------------------------------------------'
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AND FINALLy, here iS DA coMpLETe LySt O' dA originAl HIpPIe dippy d00DZ
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(IN ALpHaBETYkal odor, N0t To MAkE ENNamIeS):
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@ Fr0zY aka. Frozen Tormentor
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@ da WArEZW0lf aka. Harridan
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@ sAPUlePaKi aka. Mechanix
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@ do You HAVe a SouNDblAstER? aka. The Darkman
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@ PhalCOnsKiSmR00lz aka. Time Lord
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@ wAnnAbemAFiOsO aka. Wintermute
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ALSo, GreEtZ TO DA FoLLoWING OthER 514 K00l D00Dz WhO couldN'T mAkE IT Da
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fIrST Time:
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@ Trojan
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@ Rock Steady
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@ Silicon Phreaker
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SHYt, i KNOw i FoRg0t soMe, WELl bAsICallY, IF yOu're a 514 d00d ON tPR,
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wELL pUT yOur nAmE Up on dAT LIst.
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.---------------------------------------------------.
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| aNsID00dEZ shOUld bE eRaseD, wArEz d00dez sHOuld |
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`---. bE KwaCKEd, anD yOu SHOULd be GuNNEd DOwn! .--'
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`--------------------------------------------'
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well, a liTTLe sH0rTEr DAn ISsUE 3, BUt gO read tHE odER fIlez in
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ThIS PACkagE. L8eRCiAObYEsc'yACHoWgOoDbyEdie!
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.----------------------------------.
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| StOP reAdiNG asshOLe! iT'S oVer! |
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`----------------------------------'
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Released by TPR/The Phrozen Realm
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(\_/) (._.) (\_/)
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(o O) (o o) (O o)
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/(")\ /(_)\ /(")\
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`U' `U' `U'
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The Phrozen Realm
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... Getting even in '92 ...
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---09/20/92---------------- HDK #04 by Mechanix --------------------EOF------
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Scrambled w/ Flipper v1.00
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