187 lines
9.2 KiB
Plaintext
187 lines
9.2 KiB
Plaintext
Oh my GawD! ***** THE FIRST NAME IN CRAPPY E-ZINES ***** More from GwaD!
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The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Incorporated
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Brings *YOU* 10 Brand New Text Files for 05/05/05!
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(Issues 141-149 of _GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime_
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AND Volume 2/Issue 1 of _Retail Retards_)
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-=< NewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdS >=-
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-=< This Here Is GwD News, Issue #22 - 05/05/05 >=-
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***** ***** ***** ***** *****
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R E L E A S E N O T E S
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***** ***** ***** ***** *****
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WORD TO YOUR MOMS.
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Sexy Text for YOU!
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New issues of _GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime_
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http://www.GREENY.org/media/text/new.html
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Brought to you by the fine folks at GwD Publications!
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* gwd141.txt - "Hawaiian Punch" by Frank Ferra, P.I.
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Frank Ferra gave us this essay on the human condition. That's
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a lot of punch, man.
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* gwd142.txt - "Patriarchalism, Progeny and Pain: Adrienne Rich and the
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Prison of Marriage" by fastjack
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Feminist poetry, T.S. Eliot, and YOU.
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* gwd143.txt - "Pillows" by Bob the Master of the World
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Bob tMotW regales us with a tale of a fattish ass.
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* gwd144.txt - "On Social Stigmata: Jesus, Magic, and Ciacco the Hog"
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by Dr. Dr. Otis, M.D.
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As promised in Issue #124, we bring you Otis's treatise on a
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growing problem: Social Stigmata. Symptoms include bleeding
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from the hands and feet in social situations. (Why has it
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taken us three years to publish this? Well, Otis originally
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wrote this article for a conference THAT SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS.
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This was in late 2002. It was actually a paper that Otis hoped
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to publish that was based on his abortive doctoral dissertation
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in Divinities at the University of Pennsylvania. However, his
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dissertation was not accepted by his committee and he is now
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persona non grata in that department due to the "incident" that
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occurred after this rejection. Once Otis regained his senses
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and finished medical school, he submitted this work for
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publication in _GwD_. This was early 2003. You can blame the
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strenuous peer review process we have in place for scholarly
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works such as this for the remaining two years of "delay.")
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* gwd145.txt - "Dispatches from the Plains VII" by fastjack
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We hate to break it to you, but you are not a "spiritual
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person." Buying books about angels from the bargain bin
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doesn't make you spiritual. Chach.
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* gwd146.txt - "EPISODE III: RETURN OF THE GwD STAR WARS SPECIAL"
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The real Episode III is coming out in just a few weeks, so it's
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time to jump back on the bandwagon. Great stuff for all you
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Star Wars geeks out there. Seriously, who else would read a
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crappy e-zine like GwD? Star Wars = the shiz. That being said,
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enjoy this cynical look at Star Wars.
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* gwd147.txt - "Ass Hairs" by Lobo Licious
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Ass hairs and public toilets. Fun! I wish I'd had my camera,
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though. Alas.
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* gwd148.txt - "Slopetopia" by Bob the Master of the World
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Bob tMotW had a dream. Disturbing and gritty.
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* gwd149.txt - "uh-rith-muh-tick" by Aardv@rk
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Aardv@rk and his condescension return. Ever wondered how to
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add, subtract, multiply, or divide? You know you have. He's
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here to teach you all you ever needed/wanted to know about math
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but were afraid to ask (well, not quite...fractions/decimals
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are handy, as is algebra, really...fine, think of this as a
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pamphlet for a really low-level math course).
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(so, like, all authors are solely responsible for the content of their issues)
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AND... SCUMDOG ENTERTAINMENT is at it again!
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A new release of _Retail Retards_ (aka _'TARDZ_)
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http://www.scumdogentertainment.com/tardz/
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http://www.GREENY.org/media/tardz/
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rr0201.txt - Vol. 2, Issue 1 - "Dispatches from the Plains VI" by fj
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_'TARDZ_ is finally back! Sure, it's been three years since the
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last release, but that doesn't matter. The dumbasses are still
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out there, and they're still invading our stores.
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-*- "Beautifully written." -*-
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-+- GREEN is GOOD. -+-
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***** ***** ***** ***** *****
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What's going on in Grenedom?
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***** ***** ***** ***** *****
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-> HEADLINES <-
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It's 05/05/05, or 5/5/5. The perfect day. Disregard the fact that we may
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have claimed that a previous day (05/25/00, to be exact) was the perfect day,
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from a Grene standpoint. THIS is the perfect day. For the next 100 years.
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Or 95 years, really, since we'll like claim that 05/25/2100 is the perfect
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day, too. Yeah. Whee. And hey, it's Cinco de Mayo, so that's cause enough
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for a release. We're from Texas (which is close enough to Mexico), and we
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love to drink. So yeah, Cinco de Mayo is the real reason we're releasing
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today. Uh-huh.
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YEAH, 10 T-FILES. ONE GwD FILE, ONE SCUMDOG FILE. AN ALL TEXT RELEASE.
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We don't need no mp3s or warez or any of that other crap; text is what we do
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best (worst). So, word, 10 t-files. Aww yeah.
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HOT DAMN! ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.
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GREENY.org has gone through some changes. Our server went away, you see, and
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it's still not back. But it should be "soon." The content's there, on the
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snazzy replacement server, but the UI isn't very nice right now, except for
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the snazzy main page. The blog-version of the site will be back soon. Hold
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your goddamn horses. Until then, you can access the new files at
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http://www.GREENY.org/media/newcrap.html, or all of the files at
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http://www.GREENY.org/media/text/. Or just follow the links on the site, you
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lazy bastards.
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Also, don't miss Radio Free Chachistan. It's the best streaming net-radio
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station IN THE FUCKIN' UNIVERSE. Yeah. Give it a listen, it rocks nads.
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Point your browser or mp3-player-thing or whatever to
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http://www.chach-house.net:8000/chachradio-low for the stream and to
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http://www.chach-house.net/chachradio/ for the playlist and stuff.
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-*- "A real-life pleasure for fans of John le Carr<72> and Tom Clancy." -*-
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-> OTHER NEWS <-
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Not much else going on. Just some t-files and some tunes. Oh yeah, and we're
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12 years old now. Hot damn. This group/zine/whatever is almost as old as we
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were when we started it. I don't know about you, but that scares the piss out
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of me.
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Be on the lookout for more new-new-new text from our pals at SCUMDOG
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ENTERTAINMENT in the coming days/weeks...their new site should be up soon,
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too, so you can begin to covet it then. Aww yeah. Word. _Retail Retards_ is
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back in full effect...don't be a dumbass.
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Seth The Man and Lobo Licious got married in 2004. Again, we must stress that
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their marriages were NOT TO EACH OTHER, despite what you might have heard.
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Both couples are happy. Word.
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Otis has completed medical school. That's right; he's now Dr. Dr. Otis, M.D.
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He's contemplating either attending Vet School or Dental School in the future,
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but he thinks his next move will be Law School. So, in three more years or
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so, he'll be (at least) Dr. Dr. Otis, M.D., J.D. Aww yeah. Of course, he
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also had an abortive attempt at a PhD in divinities (see above), but we won't
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hold that against him.
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Stay tuned to GwDweb (http://www.GREENY.org/) for more GwD-ish news.
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-*- "Soon to be a major motion picture starring Mel Gibson." -*-
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-> SUBMISSION INFORMATION <-
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If you have ANYTHING to submit to GwD (artwork, text, outlandish claims,
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etc.), DO NOT HESITATE to send it our way. "submit@GREENY.org" is there for
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you, baby. Work must be 100% original and it must be understood that once
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submitted, articles/artwork/photographs become the property of GwD, Inc.
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(unless they have been previously published elsewhere) and we can use them
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however we see fit, even if it's merely to make fun of them (and you).
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-*- "More action! More adventure! More excitement!" -*-
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~~~~~
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"I found me a home for the sinner in me."
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CONTACT:
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The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Inc.
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http://www.GREENY.org/
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Pubz - http://www.GREENY.org/pubz/ - Pubz
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GwD@GREENY.org
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P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas - 79490
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- for moral, ethical, spiritual, and financial guidance -
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*** The GwD Task Force, Inc. - All the Best in Absolute Crap Since 1993! ***
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GwD News #22 - rel. 05-05-05 - by Lobo Licious & Bob the Master of the World
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***** copyright (c) MMV GwD Publications/GwD, Inc. *****
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-*- GwD - "Having Fits and Taking Shits" - GwD -*- GwDN22
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