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Oh my GawD! ***** Yes, I'll be gone till November. ***** More from GwaD!
The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Incorporated
Brings YOU 5 Brand Spanking New Text Files for Thanksgiving 1998!
(Issues 62-65 of GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime
AND GwD: Five Years of Domination - a GwD Special!)
-=< NewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdS >=-
gwd62.txt - The Greeny Files (Chapter 1) (by Priest),
gwd63.txt - Untitled? (by Lobo Licious),
gwd64.txt - The GwD Guide to Being a Perfect Boyfriend (by Snotty),
gwd65.txt - Whine (by Purpldrgn),
AND....
gwdfyod.txt - GwD: Five Years of Domination (by a buncha people).
-+- GREEN is GOOD. -+-
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Summaries of New Issues
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
"The Greeny Files (Chapter 1)"
= GwD62 =
If Chapter 1 is any indication,
Priest's new "Greeny Files"
storyline promises to be highly
interesting and entertaining.
Based on events from Priest's
own life, the story follows the
missions of an assassin.
-----
"Untitled?"
= GwD63 =
Lobo Licious's first solo-file
in two years. LL gives us a
stream of consciousness look at
his life and times, including
insight into his very soul. Or
not.
-----
"The GwD Guide to Being the Perfect Boyfriend"
= GwD64 =
Snotty tells the ground rules
for being a perfect boyfriend,
or at least a perfect boyfriend
for her. She does give great
hints on dating ALL women; this
is a must-read for the teenage
and/or twenty-something single
male. GwD accepts no liability
if these tips do not work in
any and/or all cases.
-----
"Whine"
= GwD65 =
New dr00g Purpldrgn discusses
many things, from Attention
Deficit Disorder to stalkers
to that annoying ringing you
hear when someone calls you on
the telephone. A must read.
-----
GwD Special - "GwD: Five Years of Domination" - GwD Special
= GwDfyod =
GwD looks back on its first
five years, from the Cannibal
Hillbilly Army of Satan BBS
(CHAOS), where it all began,
to GwaDFest98, the celebration
which accompanied our Fifth
Anniversary. Written by many
authors, it is a patch-work of
a textfile in much the same way
that GwD is a patch-work of a
group. Whatever the hell that
means. This is the first file
that accurately reflects GwD
as a whole.
-----
-+- GwD - Now with Diarrhea Bombs!! -+-
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
What's going on in Grenedom?
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
-> HEADLINES <-
The biggest news in GwD circles is that our main website has moved to
"http://www.GREENY.org/". Our old site (http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2334/)
still exists, but is now the base for "GwD Publications," one of the larger
subsidiaries of GwD, Inc. The GwD Publications is soon to move to
"http://gwd.mit.edu/", though, so watch for that move. Our other large
subsidiary is DOMINATION records, our record label. It can be found at
"http://www.GREENY.org/domrec/" or questions can be sent to "domrec@GREENY.org".
Other subsidiaries of GwD, Inc. include "GwDRadio," "GwDTV," and "GwDFilms."
Along with the change of web address has come a new contact address
(gwd@GREENY.org), a new submission address (submit@GREENY.org) and a new
subscription process: E-mail "subscribe@GREENY.org" from any address to be
added automatically to the mailing list...in the "subj:" area of the message,
type the address(es) that you wish to subscribe to the list (leave the body of
the message empty). As if by magic, our server will then e-mail a letter to the
address(es) to make sure they actually desire a subscription and explaining how
to unsubscribe (though we have no idea why anyone would ever want to do that).
Other changes in procedure due to our procuring of our own domain can be found
on GwDweb (http://www.GREENY.org/).
-> OTHER NEWS <-
In the last issue of "GwDNEWS" we told of the two groups of Pretenders to the
world Domination Throne who had declared war on us (these "Declarations" were
further discussed under "Other Stuff" in GwD60). We are happy to let you know
that one of these groups (the one we took half-seriously) is no longer in
existence.
fWd (a.k.a. future World dominators - capitalizing the wrong part of the acronym
was only their *first* crime against us) no longer poses any threat to GwD.
That's right, boys and girls, we have eradicated the fWd menace from the face of
the earth. First, we infiltrated the group. Then we sabotaged their already
badly coded website, erasing it from geocities. We did not stop there, oh no.
Unfortunately, details of our more covert operations against specific members of
the group are still classified. They will be made available to the public in
555 years, as pursuant to the Articles of Dr00gan Covert Operations, section
43D, subsection 15561.23.
We *can* tell you, though, that no one will be hearing from fWd for a LONG time.
Any communication from anyone claiming to be affiliated with "fWd" is false and
should be forwarded to GwD <gwd@GREENY.org> so we can deal with it accordingly.
Just remember...we were merciless with these insolents who were only 14-15 years
old. Imagine what we would do to adults. Or what we ARE doing to the group we
are *actually* at war with, TOFTAOBL.
The other group of l0sers who "declared war," known as "John's Cult" still seems
to be in existence.
However, as previously stated, we don't take them very seriously; they are
nothing but a bunch of kids who sit together for school lunch. Their only
correspondence with us since our reply to their petty declaration was when we
announced GwaDFest.
As they are on the mailing list, they received that invitation and replied with
something along the lines of: "Why would I go to your stupid party? You can't
even brainwash someone as stupid as me." Though paraphrased here, that was
quite witty. Calling themselves stupid to throw us off was sooooooo fucking
clever. We're really scared of them. Oh no!
We probably won't hear from them much (except maybe when they read this) because
they seem to be somewhat.....slow.
No one else has declared war on us, but we are NOW FIVE YEARS OLD. HOLY CRAP.
(see gwdfyod.txt)
The release of the premier issue of "GwD Adult" is STILL postponed indefinitely.
E-mail Seth the Man <stm@GREENY.org> to voice your opinion on this matter.
-> SUBMISSION INFORMATION <-
If you have ANYTHING to submit to GwD (artwork, text, outlandish claims, etc.),
DO NOT HESITATE to send it our way. "submit@GREENY.org" is there for you, baby.
Work must be 100% original and it must be understood that once submitted,
articles/artwork/photographs become the property of GwD, Inc. (unless they have
been previously published elsewhere) and we can use them however we see fit,
even if it's merely to make fun of them (and you).
-> LETTERS TO THE EDITOR <-
[All spelling/grammar errors are those of the author(s) and are not errors on
the part of GwD. Yeah.]
-----
Date: Mon, 10 Aug 1998 17:20:32 -0500
To: gwd@GREENY.org
From: Yancey Slide <yancey@GREENY.org>
Subject: Attn Bitch Central
Why aren't the new pictures up on the GwD page? Huh? Huh?
[Because, dammit, we're a bunch of slow-asses over here at GwD Central. We'll
get to it when we're good and ready.] [Besides, they're up *NOW*. Sure, it's
three months after you sent that letter, but oh well. We're busy. Yeah, that's
it.]
-----
From: suzanne@privacy.co.uk
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 11:43:12 +0000
Subject: Call my Bedroom Directly !!
To: gwd@GREENY.org
Call My Bedroom Directly!!! DO it with me in MY BED!!!
CALL me NOW Before My Parents CUM HOME!!!
My Phone Number is 1-664-410-3282.
(Any Guy 18 or over only, please. I don't want to get into any trouble!)
[Where the HELL did this come from?!? Why us?]
-----
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 1998 18:00:57 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Yes, Okay" <dto@Op.Net>
Subject: sunyata bbs!
To: gwd@GREENY.org
Reply-to: "Yes, Okay" <dto@Op.Net>
i was bored so i made a cute, nice little modified version of obloid.
it's a bbs! it's sunyata bbs! you're invited to login and try it! it's
generally made for our little bastard community, so uhm, be warned. the url is
http://www.dto.net/sunyata/ and to logon as a new user, type "new" with no
password. check it out!
it's nice!
= yes, okay / the hippest man alive today / okay@dto.net =
= yes, okay. yes, okay. are you okay? / http://www.dto.net/okay =
-----
From: StoneFreee@aol.com
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1998 00:40:33 EDT
To: [recipient list suppressed. well, not really, but we're not gonna give out
94 e-mail addresses just because this guy did.]
Subject: Realistic Cybersex
Greetings--It's come to my attention that your web-site is posting an article
I wrote entitled "Realistic Cybersex", with it attributed to "anonymous" or
without a byline. I wrote the story and own all rights to it. It first
appeared in Playboy Magazine in the July 1996 issue.
You have the choice of pulling the article off your site altogether or
contacting me with a payment offer to leave it on your site with the proper
byline added. If you're selling ads on this site, obviously it's going to cost
you a little more because you're making money off of my property.
You can easily verify that I am the author by contacting Playboy Magazine or
the Authors Registry at www.authorsregistry.org. I'll be checking in on your
site to see if everything is nice and legal. If not, I'll be forced to take
legal action.
Greg Grabianski
Stonefreee@aol.com
-----
From: "Mike Kellum" <admin@vegasgirls2u.com>
To: "GwD Lobo Licious" <gwd@geocities.com>
Subject: INTERNET PROSTITION
Dear GwD Lobo Licious,
Here is a pretty intresting press release we think pertains to your ezine.
For more information please contact Mike Kelum (702) 791-3215 or email:
admin@vegasgirls2u.com You can also preview the site at
http://www.vegasgirls2u.com -- Actual outcall girls and guys are available for
interviews or appearances. President John Zito is also available for comment.
Press Release-For Immediate Release
Internet Prostitution?
LAS VEGAS, September 1, 1998 - The promotion of outcall girls is online. The
controversial, newly launched http://www.Vegasgirls2u.com website is the first
collection of hundreds of professional outcall girls who are available 24 hours
a day to come direct to your Las Vegas hotel room to strip totally naked and
dance for you in the privacy of your own room. With both men and women
available, nude photos are displayed with a brief description, including
measurements, interests, and phone number.
The site is run by First Class Incorporated (President, John Zito) which has
been running outcall services in Las Vegas for the last 15 years. Police allege
the site is nothing more than a front for prostitution. Zito denies those
allegations.
First Class Incorporated has dabbled in the adult 'online market' but never
before were girls accessible directly online for in-room service. Zito, who is
not only posting a large collection of girls from his agency, has added a
non-agency section, consisting of advertisements placed by young Las Vegas girls
looking for effective avenues of promoting services without the restrictions of
a large agency. In an ever-competitive Las Vegas adult entertainment market the
first-of-it<69>s-kind website is estimating an incredible response to their online
catalogue-style selection of women.
[At first, we wondered why this would be sent to us. Then we realized that we
are the natural choice, due to our religiously-sanctioned support of
pornography. And what is live nude girls dancing in your hotel room if it's not
porno? Beats the hell out of us.]
-----
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 1998 14:22:21 -0500
From: Jack Vance <jvance@vikingnet.net>
Organization: Parsons High School, Parsons, KS
To: gwd@GREENY.org
Subject: web-site
dear fellow physics teacher,
i found your web site on the net and i am very impressed by the entire thing
and the effort you must have put into such a feat. However, i am somewhat
displeased by the language used in some of the explanations of the various
concepts taught. I agree some of the stuff is "damn cool" but here in Kansas
we would be shot for using such expressions to students. how do you get away
with such? sorry is this offends you but i appreciated your site less than i
could have because the language distracted me.
sincerely,
jack vance
chem/physics
parsons high
parsons, ks. 67357
[What?]
-----
[ICQ Message from Felix. 11-19-98]
I was a sock for a while
but noone would put me on their hand
fuckers in thought-jail
"sock on the foot sock on the foot sock on the foot"
like they couldnt just put me on their hand for once
and make me a puppet?
-----
From: boston@linkeasy.net
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1998 04:15:15 -0600 (CST)
Subject: Hello
To: boston@linkeasy.net
UNIVERSITY DEGREE PROGRAMS ----
Increase your personal prestige and money earning power through an advanced
university degree.
Eminent, non-accredited universities will award you a degree for only $200.
Degree granted based on your present knowledge and experience. No further
effort necessary on your part.
Just a short phone call is all that is required for a BA, MA, MBA, or PhD
diploma in the field of your choice.
For details, call 303-480-8252
-----
From: fertilityinformation@usa.net
Date: 10/27/98 8:45:55 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Subject: $1000/wk donating Sperm
To: fertilityinformation@usa.net
Interested Sperm Donor,
Thank you for expressing your interest in the sperm donor program. In the pas
few months, the National Fertility Research Association have been working quite
arduously at matriculating qualified sperm donors via the internet. This task
has proven quite arduous because in general, we have found there to be a a great
lack of familiarity about sperm programs and its just monetary rewards that they
can provide.
Our goal is to educate you about how you can participate in the sperm donor
programs and at the same time, derive monetary benefits from the program.
Currently, we are seeking to register males 18-55 years old into the sperm donor
program. Donors are being paid $150 for the initial visit and $100 for each
additional visits during each week.
As a donor, you have will have the right to confidentiality, and to preserve
that right, you will be assigned a certification number prior to visiting the
sperm bank(s). Your certification number will take the place of your identity,
and will allow for complete confidentiality. All payments to you will be made
in cash, at the sperm bank, and subsequent to each time you provide a sperm
sample.
You may sign up right now by reading the set of criteria below:
In order to become a donor, you will need to be provided a certification number,
a registration letter, an information packet, a Confidentiality non-disclosure
agreement, and addresses of the centers nearest you.
[Umm....yeah.]
-----
~~~~~
-*- GwD: The world Domination Abomination -*-
CONTACT:
The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Inc.
http://www.GREENY.org/
Pubs - http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2334/ - Pubs
ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/
gwd@GREENY.org
P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas - 79490
- for moral, ethical, spiritual, and financial guidance -
The GwD Task Force, Inc. - Bringing YOU All the Best in Absolute Crap Since 1993
by Lobo Licious - copyright (c) MCMXCVIII GwD, Inc. ***** release date 11-26-98
-*- GwD - "God, we're Dorks." - GwD -*- GwDN10
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