239 lines
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
239 lines
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
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T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e ,
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I n c o r p o r a t e d
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Presents:
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__ __ 55555555555 333333333
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_____ ____ _| |__| |_ 55 33 333
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// | \ |_ __ _| 55 333
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|| ____ | || | | | | | 5555555555 333
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|| || \ / | || | _| |__| |_ 555 333
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\\___// \/\/ |____/ |_ __ _| 555 333
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|__| |__| 55 555 33 333
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555555555 333333333
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"Cybersex" submitted by Bill Hooper (taken from his humor mailing list)
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----- GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime ***** Issue #53 -----
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----- release date: 12-31-97 -----
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For anyone that has spent just a few too many hours in #hotsex on IRC...
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Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as
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"cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet
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phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two
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cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to
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quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
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Starting mIRC log. Logging to #SEX.log :
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Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
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Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work
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out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you
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look like?
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Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of
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blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a
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few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
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Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
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Wellhung: OK
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Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and
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candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling.
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My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge,
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swelling bulge.
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Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
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Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
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Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
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Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
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Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
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Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my
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warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
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Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in
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your blouse. I'm sorry.
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Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
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Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
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Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts
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are rising and falling, as I breathe harder and harder.
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Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you
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have any scissors?
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Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the
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clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are
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erect for you.
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Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
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Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all
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over me.
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Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're
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neat!
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Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
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Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
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Sweetheart: What?
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Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
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Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
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Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
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Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
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Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
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Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
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Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out
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nibbling on you...umm...wait a minute.
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Sweetheart: What's the matter?
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Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
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Sweetheart: Are you OK?
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Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
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Sweetheart: Can I help?
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Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the
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cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
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Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
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Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
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Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
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Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
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Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
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Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now
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I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
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Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
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Wellhung: I found it.
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Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
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Wellhung: Me too.
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Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies
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pressing each other.
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Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
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Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?
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Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the
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night table.
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Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
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Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward
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the bathroom.
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Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
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Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet.
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I lift the lid.
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Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
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Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't
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find it. Uh-oh!
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Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
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Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again.
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I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
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Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
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Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know...thing...in
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your...you know...woman's thing.
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Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
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Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck.
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Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
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Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another
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second! Slide in! Screw me now!
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Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
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Sweetheart: What?
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Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
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Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
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Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm
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going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
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Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear.
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Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
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Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm
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feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and
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your candles.
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Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
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Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your
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candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a
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shocked look on my face.
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Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
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Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
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Sweetheart: <logged off>
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-----------------------------<GwD Command Centers>------------------------------
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www =-= http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2334/index.html (The GwD WebSite)
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http://solice.iglobal.net/chaos/ (Chaos, the Web-BBS)
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http://www.snakeden.org/ (The Snake's Den)
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ftp -=- ftp.etext.org /pub/Zines/Greeny/
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telnet =-= snakeden.org
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e-mail -=- gwd@geocities.com (Subj: subscribe GwD)
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BBS =-= The Snake's Den - (806)793-3779 -- damn right it's still dial-in
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* GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490 *
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<GwD Command Centers>------------------------------
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"Gimme some sugar, Baby." - Ash, _Army of Darkness_
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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-+- F Y M -+-
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GR33NY LIK3S mash3d p0tat03s
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/---------------\
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GwD.....Back and in Full Effect, G. :FIGHT THE POWER:
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GwD Task Force copyright (c) MCMXCIII by Lobo Licious : GwD :
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Word is Born. \---------------/
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GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD53
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