106 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
106 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
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T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e
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Presents:
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"Cow Stompin'! (ohhhhh boy)"
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by Seth Sometimes
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Since many people think that GwD is a rip-off of cDc, I've decided to
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write a file on cows. Not dead one's though..real, live, smelly cows.
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During the summer, I sometimes go to my Grandmother's ranch to work
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cattle..my father bundles the family up in ye olde mini-van and carts up to
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there on some timeless Friday night and we are dragged out of bed the next
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morning to find that we are in fact over 120 miles from home and that it is 4 in
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the morning. Ouch. Not a pleasant feeling, believe me...and to compound this
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amazing way to start the day we are informed to get dress as we must go Cow
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Stompin' for the rest of the day. Oooh. Fun. We climb into some pickup truck and
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head down to whatever pasture we're working this morning and promptly fall
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asleep again...we are waken 2 or 3 hours later to find that the sun has risen
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and the cows are all in the pens... Out of the pickup we head (I keep saying
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'we', what I mean is my sister and I, my mother sleeps in and helps make
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lunch..) My sister takes care of the shots. Cow shots do not look like regular
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syringes, because cow hides are a lot tough than our skins; no their shots look
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like some crappy water gun with an inch-long needle at the end. My job is to
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help flank the cattle...a *mite* tougher than sticking a shot into a cow. There
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are several other experienced cow men with us..My father not included..oh, he's
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there, but I would not classify him as one of these guys...Rough, usually lean,
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not all tall, and not all with cowboy hats on..my uncle (a quiet, hard man who
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hardly ever cracks a smile) wears a fisherman's hat, it works better...I wear an
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infamous baseball hat (with some ad for farming on it..)..while my cousin Carey,
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destined to become one of the cow men, wears a standard cowboy hat. Carey is
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going into 7th grade, he lives with his parents and sister out "across the dirt
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road" from my grandparents, and they live about 30 minutes from the nearest
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town, Clarendon. Amy (my other cousin) helps vaccinate with my sister... Carey
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flanks the cows with me, in between his jovial banter with the cow men...So
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basically, the jobs are divided like this..The cow men, Carey, and me all flank
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(and/or rope; they take turns roping the cows, more on that later though) while
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one of the cow men brand, and my sister and Amy do the various shots, my uncle
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castrates the bulls and slits the ears (no, I don't know why..), and my
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grandfather ear tags 'em. I'll describe these various ministrations by
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describing the whole process...First off, one of the cow men is on his horse,
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and he mills around among the cattle until he finds a calf (we only work the
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calves this way, the cows are done later..) he then tries to get the calf to
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move, when the unwary calf does move, he ensnares it's hind legs in his lasso
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and tightens the loop around the calf's ankles, he then spurs his horse and
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drags the calf backwards and the flankers run out to do their job; in this case,
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I'm running out with Carey because it's a small calf.. Carey and I run out, I
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grab the rope, while Carey grabs the tail, I then pull up and out on the rope
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while Carey pulls down and in, causing the calf to fall on his side, hard. I
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pull the rope off the calf's ankles and spread the cows hind legs by sticking my
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left foot behind it's ankle and grabbing the other ankle with my hands and
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pulling the legs as far apart as I can...Carey grabs the top leg and puts it
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in a "cow nelson" (which is just him folding the leg at the knee and pushing it
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down onto the cows side) some kind soul comes over and steps on the other fore
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leg and thus we pin all four legs. This is a great spectacle. Me, sitting on the
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ground (or sometimes in a pile of cow shit) with one foot shoved behind one leg
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and the other foot being sat upon by the cow and pulling the legs apart, Carey
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putting all his meager weight upon the cows fore leg trying to hold onto it,
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with the cow grunting and trying with all it's might to kick us off...When we
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have the calf securely pinned, my sister and Amy come over and give it all the
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medicine and what-not, while my uncle comes and cuts the cows scrotum and yanks
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out its testes, he then goes to the head and slits the ears (to mark it, I
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think..)... My grandfather (like most Thornberrys, lean and a little over 6')
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puts on the ear tags, then my father comes over and uses the dehorning tool to
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take out the just-forming horns, once the horns are cut off, the place where the
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horns were starts spraying blood over everything..which isn't that bad, since
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the blood is a lot prettier than anything else out there...once the horns are
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out, someone comes over with the branding iron and brands the calf..Great smells
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out there: cow, cow shit, and burnt cow....once everything is done, I grab the
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tail, Carey gets up, then the cow does and pulls me to my feet...This continues
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until all the calves are taken care of, with the cow men trading off roping
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every 5-6 calves...and us trading off flanking depending upon size, the sizes
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range from small calves (about to your waste and around 70-100 pounds) to the
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large ones (which are basically cows, stomach to chest height, 200-300 pounds)
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Once all the calves have been worked, the cows are run through the shoot, (an
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enclosure about 3-4 feet wide and the length depends upon the size of the lot,
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supposedly enough room for one cow to fit in line comfortably..ha.) and given
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their various vaccinations, but after the calves are done, my sister and I stand
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around and look like the city-dwellers that we are...Once the cows are done,
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they rejoin their young and all are sprayed with insect repellent. That's it..
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for this pasture..We all head in to the house..To eat the most amazing food in
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the world. My grandmother is a breath-taking cook. After lunch, it's off to work
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the next pasture and then off to bed...only for this all to be repeated
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tomorrow. Ugh.
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Ok. there. I finally did it. It's crappy, I could have done a much
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better job on it, if I had written it about 4 hours ago, but I didn't have time
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then, so there it is. Enjoy it or not. I've finally written it after over a year
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of procrastination about it. Bah.
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------------------------------[GwD Command Centers]-----------------------------
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Chaos (806)797-7501 | Club Baby Seal (806)XXX-XXXX
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GridPoint (405)920-1347 | Static Line (806)747-0802
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Federation Slayers' (806)798-8168 | The Anti-BBS (806)763-3549
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The Snake's Den (806)793-3779 | PCI (806)793-3302
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The Siege Perilous (806)762-0948 | The Sprawl (806)797-0820
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Brazen's Hell (301)776-8259 |
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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The Starchy White Boy BBS and Light My Fire are down, but may go back up at any
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time. And Club Baby Seal is private with weird hours. Yeah. We'll keep you
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posted. Only because we're nice. Yeah.
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/---------------\
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copyright (c) 1994 by Seth Sometimes of GwD Inc. :FIGHT THE POWER:
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GREENY world Domination Task Force copyright (c) 1993 by Lobo: GwD :
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All rights reserved and other such legal crap. \---------------/
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