119 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
119 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
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w _____ ____ 1 222 999 "Chach Talk: Interview with Stein" w
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D // | \ 11 2 9 9 by Elliot Deuce D
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* || ____ | || | 1 222 999 *
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G || || \ / | || | 1 2 9 issue #129 of "GwD: The American Dream G
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w \\___// \/\/ |____/ 111 222 999 with a Twist -- of Lime" * rel 06/10/03 w
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[Some dr00gs have started a company called Chach Inc. Basically, the goal of
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Chach Inc. is to hang around and be chaches. Yes indeedy. The following
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interview with Stein originally appeared in _Chach Quarterly_ magazine. -Ed.]
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11-01-2002
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Deuce: Thank you for joining us, Stein. We are always excited here at _Chach
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Quarterly_ to have a member of Chach Inc. take time to speak with us.
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Stein: ....
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Deuce: So if we can get right down to it...what is it you do at Chach Inc.
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and how do you feel your work affects those around you?
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Stein: Do you watch CNN on TV or read CNN on the web?
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Deuce: Well...I mean...sometimes yeah. But getting back --
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Stein: CNN had an article about the possibility of genetically altering
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onions to "weed out" the enzyme which causes people to cry while cutting
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onions.
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Deuce: .... I don't think I under--
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Stein: See that's your fuckin' problem!! You don't understand. Let me
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explain it to you.
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Deuce: ?
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Stein: What if the reaction that people have from the onion keeps some sort
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of balance within nature itself. As if to say we cry because we are sad that
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this onion is giving its life, its sense of fullness, in order to please our
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hunger. Are we so supreme that we think we can take that one god given right
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away from the onion itself?
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Why, then, don't we begin to take away other "rights" which the world has
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bestowed upon fruits and veggies?
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Broccoli - have you ever noticed the funny feeling you get in the roof of your
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mouth as it lightly tickles it while you chew? I believe the broccoli does
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this as a way to show you appreciation. Broccoli is not a smart plant - it
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does not understand that what lies ahead is an extremely painful and
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excruciating death in the depths of your acid ridden stomach. The broccoli is
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simply happy to have been pulled from the ground. That place where it is
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trapped, held still all its life, unable to move. It has chosen you to thank,
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and does so by treating your mouth to a gentle massage. What if we took that
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away?? The world could end in anarchy. You may not consciously think of that
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feeling when it is happening, but your sub-conscience is WELL aware! Mad
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Broccoli? MOO!
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Peanuts - one cannot express the love and devotion it takes to properly
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prepare a peanut to be eaten. The careful plucking from its mother plant, to
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transportation to the processing plant. In this plant it is processed, gently
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massaged with exotic oils, perfumed with salt, and packaged in a home filled
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with other peanuts. The peanut is a community vegetable. It enjoys sharing
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its life with others. This is why you see many peanuts in the aptly named
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"mixed nuts" packagings. They do not discriminate. The peanut keeps the
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peace. It presents a happy medium between many different cultures. Are we to
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take this trait away? Are we to go to war with our neighbor? Are we to once
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again separate the races simply because they LOOK different? What kind of a
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world would we be reverting to? The peanut speaks for world peace!
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Celery - this one is a tough one to explain. Celery, while enjoyed worldwide,
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emits an odor similar to that of a wet dog when bitten into. Many pay it no
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attention because of the sweet reward associated with sinking your teeth into
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the wood-like substance, and having no mess left behind. This plant does have
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its redeeming values, though. It goes very well with peanut butter, although
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much of the work in the relationship is done by the peanut (surprise,
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surprise!). Most importantly though, celery provides a strong, sturdy medium
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for eating with your hands! You never use silver-ware to eat celery. You use
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it AS silverware, but it is edible! This, in many ways, reminds us of our
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childhood. Times before we were forced to conform to the ways of society.
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Forced to use a method which is much more uncomfortable and time consuming in
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most cases. Celery provides a service! As a gentle, but stable, helper.
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Should we take this away too? Take away our childhood! Steal that which we
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were born into?? What will people do? What will the world become? Celery
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promotes youth!
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Lettuce - the foundation of that which is known as a modern day salad.
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Lettuce not only serves as this foundation, but it aids in other creations
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such as hamburgers, pastas, and other great foods that require a base
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substance to hold it all together. Lettuce shows us much about the way life
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should be in many cases. It provides a crutch for others to lean on, a table
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for others to stand on. Should we take this away? Should we change lettuce
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forever just because sometimes it doesn't taste good? Take its joy in life
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away because sometimes it is a little to hard to chew, or may get stuck in our
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teeth? What kind of a world is this that will hurt so many others just to
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provide comfort to the few? Lettuce stands for unity! Lettuce stands for
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stability!
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Down with the Mad Scientists! They are beginning to sink their teeth into our
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world. Soon it will be chaos. Soon we may cease to exist! Vote yes for
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vegetable rights!
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Deuce: Ok. That about does it on this edition of Chach talk. Thank you for
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your time and see you next time!
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- www.chach-house.net/~bob/ -
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--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
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Issue#129 of "GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime" ISSN 1523-1585
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copyright (c) MMII/MMIII Elliot Deuce/GwD Publications /---------------\
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copyright (c) MMIII GwD, Inc. All rights reserved :LIFE KILLS LIFE:
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a production of The GREENY world DOMINATION Task Force, Inc. : GwD :
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Postal: GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490 \---------------/
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FYM -+- http://www.GREENY.org/ - editor@GREENY.org - submit@GREENY.org -+- FYM
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