76 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
76 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
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G G
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w _____ ____ 1 1 999 "Whoopty Woop" w
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D // | \ 11 11 9 9 by Bob tMotW and Lobo "Booty" Licious D
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* || ____ | || | 1 1 999 *
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G || || \ / | || | 1 1 9 issue #119 of "GwD: The American Dream G
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w \\___// \/\/ |____/ 111 111 999 with a Twist -- of Lime" * rel 04/12/02 w
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D D
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GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
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--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
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This here is a money-making scheme we developed. We hope you enjoy. It'll
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work for us, no doubt. If *YOU* try it, though, you might get arrested or
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even deported.
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Phase I - White Slavery
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-----------------------
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Kidnap lots and lots of white babies. You might ask, "Why white? Are you
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fuckers racist or something?" The answer to this is a resounding "No!"
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Why white indeed...
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We hear that white children (specifically, very young children, commonly
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called 'babies') fetch top dollar as slaves in the Sudan and the Western
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Sahara. That's why we want white kids. We'd kidnap other races (y'know,
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gooks and punjabs) if we could turn a profit.
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Once we have made a significant profit in the white-slave trade, we will sell
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our slavery ring to our high school European History teacher, affectionately
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known as "Pillows." We will then move on to Phase II.
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Phase II - Professional Gamblers
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--------------------------------
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Using the money we gleaned from selling cute little honkeys into slavery, we
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will set ourselves up as professional gamblers. We'll play nickel and quarter
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slots, mostly, but we'll dress flashy, hang out with trashy girls, and finagle
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our way into comp'ed suites at Las Vegas resorts. We'll be perpetually drunk
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(on comp'ed booze), and we'll have the best coke and smack flown in from South
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America for us and our trashy girls. We will reside in our comp'ed suites,
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winning nickel and quarter jackpots, until Linkin Park comes to Vegas on a
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tour.
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Phase III - Linkin Park
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-----------------------
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Yes, Linkin Park. We don't really like Linkin Park, but they're an integral
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part of our scheme. Bob and Lobo somewhat resemble (if you squint and it's
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really dark outside) the two singers/rappers in this shitty band. Aww yeah.
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When they come to Vegas, we'll use our ill-gotten gains to infiltrate the
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Linkin Park organization. Right before a show, we'll get those two chaches
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really stoned on our South American narcotics and send them to our white-
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slavery contacts in the Sudan (even though, we think, one of them may be
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chinkish). We will thus take the stage in the guise of Linkin Park. Our
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first acts, after miserably sucking at the show that night, will be to fire
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the other members of the band and to replace them with Pillows and the Schunk.
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Linkin Park will thus be remade in our image, and we will exploit it for our
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own financial gain.
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Phase IV - Repeat as Needed
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---------------------------
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Uhh, yeah. The title is self-explanatory.
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--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
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Issue#119 of "GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime" ISSN 1523-1585
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copyright (c) MMII Bob tMotW & Lobo "Booty" Licious/GwD Pubz /---------------\
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copyright (c) MMII GwD, Inc. All rights reserved :GLORIOUS TA-TAS:
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a production of The GREENY world DOMINATION Task Force, Inc. : GwD :
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Postal: GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490 \---------------/
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FYM -+- http://www.GREENY.org/ - editor@GREENY.org - submit@GREENY.org -+- FYM
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