114 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
114 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
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w _____ ____ 1 1 333 "the game" w
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D // | \ 11 11 3 by j3ph D
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* || ____ | || | 1 1 333 *
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G || || \ / | || | 1 1 3 issue #113 of "GwD: The American Dream G
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w \\___// \/\/ |____/ 111 111 333 with a Twist -- of Lime" * rel 09/20/01 w
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--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
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erin and i decided that we'd go to see the red sox massacre the rangers on
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saturday and this is how the story goes...
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first of, i was led into believing that pedro was going to be pitching on
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saturday so i was way stoked but then i found differently...in fact, i found
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that nomar and manny were not as playing as well...so i put on my red sox hat
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(and urged dallas-native cutie erin in the same venture, to no avail)...we
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found our places (conveniently on the third base side so red sox fans had
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gathered heavily around me and i felt somewhat secure)...our plan was to watch
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the game that started at 7:05 and travel back to tyler that night and arrive
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in time for a good night sleep before i go into work 9am this morning...
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with me?
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okay soooooooooooo, the teams went back and forth--a passionate battle--
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red sox had to win in order to keep good position in the wild card race and
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stay close behind the hated yankees (no offense yankee fans--i can't stand
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you)...and no one told me that they shot off superpyrotechnics when the
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rangers hit a homerun--MUCH TO MY SURPRISE...first ranger homerun i about
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bolted out of my seat and plummeted to the earth below (which was far down
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from our seats--bob eucker seats)...salty pretzel, soggy nachos, just me and
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my sweet erin and the kid that kept making anti-red sox exclamatories behind
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me...i was about to recruit some of the boston fans nearby to join me in going
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up and embarrassing this kid in front of his parents, but opted otherwise...
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then it comes down to the ninth inning, still with me? (check the box
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score for accurate tracking of the game--it really was exciting game)...
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the normal length game of nine innings ends in a tie which means: EXTRA
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INNINGS...excellent! i'm a bargain shopper and when you pay 8 bucks for
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parking and 15 a pop for tickets, extra innings isn't such a bad thing...but,
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unfortunately, no one told me (or i didn't get the memo) that the game was
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going to last 18 innings! now, for the mathematically imbalanced, that would
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be double the length of a normal game...and, well, my mind's telling me that
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since i waited until august to catch a red sox game in arlington, even at the
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risk of totally turning off my girlfriend, WE'RE STAYING...(all you need to
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know here can be obtained from reading the four capitalized words in this
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paragraph--i just noticed that).
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oops, i'm gonna rewind for a second...rewind to about the fourteenth
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inning...as the fans start to flush out, leaving seats closer to the action,
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erin and i start to migrate towards homeplate...as we moved to the edge of our
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level, aside us sat a crew of about 5 twelve year old girls and they're asking
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us if we're there to get on the camera (the jumbotron--the big ol 30 foot
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television viewable to everyone in the stadium)...um, yeah, of course we
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were...and i don't really remember what the song was, but thanks to the
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annoying shrieking of the girls beside erin and i, we caught the attention of
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a guy with a camera on the level below...he swings his camera around and zooms
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in on the seven of us...and, i don't know what came over me, but i lifted my
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shirt to expose my bare hairy belly (which i proudly puffed out) and then i
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proceeded to slap my belly while i was broadcasted to the entire stadium via
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the jumbotron while erin danced innocently beside me and the girls beside me
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didn't notice what i was doing until they looked at the screen and saw my
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belly shaking on what was about two and half stories of screen erected high
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above the ballpark at arlington...i got a kick out of it, erin didn't...i
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apologized and then the girls next to me began snickering about me and my
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stunt...i laughed it off...then, one of the girls next to me asked me where i
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was from because i looked vaguely familiar (no, she didn't say "vaguely" or
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"familiar" but something close to that)...i told her that i moved to tyler
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from lubbock and blah, blah, blah...and, then, just a friendly reply to her
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inquiry, i asked her where she was from and she said, "er, um, well, we, uh,
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live about five hours from here"...obviously, something was up, so i asked her
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what town...she said, "uh, well, i don't know" and then she asked her friend,
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"what town are we from?" and they began whispering to each other...simple
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question for a twelve year old, right? well, apparently this little girl that
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was so welcoming and friendly when erin and i first got down there had thought
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that i was prying...all the sudden, i turn into that creepy guy that your
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parents tell you not to talk to...i know you've seen the afterschool special
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i'm talking about...yeah, that was me, the eerie guy with sideburns that goes
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around talking to little girls and gets chased off by angry parents...well,
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no, obviously i wasn't trying to kidnap these kids, but i tell you: i'm only
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24 years old, but i went through a lot of revelations during my visit to the
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mirror in the bathroom...i am a little creepy looking...but, no, i wasn't
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trying to kidnap the girls...i was so insulted by the assumption that erin and
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i moved down a couple of more rows, much to the ease of the girls who thought
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they had just escaped the clutches of a serial killer...heh, whatever...at
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least their parents taught them well, but man, it wasn't like i was asking for
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their address! anyhow, someone console me...
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oh yeah, the game!! okay, soooooooooooo, rangers set a record for the
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longest game in rangers history last night (timewise) and the red sox lost...
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and erin and i never got our question answered: HOW CAN YOU PAY A PLAYER 250
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MILLION DOLLARS AND STILL HAVE GAMES GO INTO THE 18TH INNING?...it's the
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thousand dollar question and i'm dying to know the answer...
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we arrived safely back in tyler at 4:30 in the morning (hey, at least the
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traffic wasn't bad!) and i was at work 2 minutes late today at 9:02am...
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lovely...
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okay, soooooooooo, how was y'all's weekend?
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j3ph
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(not a kidnapper, just misunderstood)
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--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
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Issue#113 of "GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime" ISSN 1523-1585
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copyright (c) MMI j3ph/GwD Publications /---------------\
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copyright (c) MMI GwD, Inc. All rights reserved. :MONEY SHOTS INC:
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a production of The GREENY world DOMINATION Task Force, Inc. : GwD :
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Postal: GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490 \---------------/
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FYM -+- http://www.GREENY.org/ - editor@GREENY.org - submit@GREENY.org -+- FYM
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