92 lines
4.5 KiB
Plaintext
92 lines
4.5 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Last exit
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---------
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The cannon of the gun pressed hard against my right temple, i find it
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strange that i'm in complete control of my hand, seems i have the will
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necessary to do this, i'm not nervous, i'm not sweating.. i'm just a bit
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cold, that's all..
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*click*
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Sigh.. nothing..
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Seems I cant even do that right. Shouldn't have paid attention when that
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guy said to "play Russian roulette with yourself." He thought it would be
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a good way to end this thing in an exciting way, even though every time it
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fails it reminds me of the failure that i am. An exciting way.. heh,
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exciting were the times when i had fun all day and night, and had sex
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until the sun came up.. now i don't even remember what a blowjob feels
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like.
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*click*
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Heh.. of course, it was not yet to be. Even now god likes to fuck up my
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life, however little remains of it. One would think that he had enough fun
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the last 29 years, but maybe he's enjoying it so much he doesn't want it to
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end. Yet.
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*click*
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"Pray." The old lady said.. sigh.. if she only knew. Pray to what? to
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whom? what for? it never did any good before, why should it work now?
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I've got nothing for my prayers, even before i turned against god (or is
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it the other way around?) Praying has only brought me pain and hope; hope
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that was shattered when everything went wrong, when the world turned black
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to me. Some people say "at least there's some hope left" no there isn't,
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you're just expecting things to be better, the pain is much worse when you
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realize nothing will change. Erasing all trace of hope within me was one
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of the best things i ever did..
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*click*
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Loving is wrong. Love is poison. Love kills. It did that to me.. many
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times. I've been deserted by everyone that "loved" me. Granted, i did some
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things that i'm not proud of, things that made her leave me ultimately..
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and so did my sons, last time i heard of one of them was years
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ago.. i don't even know what they look like now; i gave everything i had to
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them, dedicated my life around them, for nothing.. just a months ago
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someone told me i was a grandparent. The irony..
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*click*
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I should've known this was going to happen. At least now i know for sure
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that next time i pull the trigger ill be out of here.. maybe they'll say i
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went out with a bang.. heh.. sigh.. No they wont. No one will notice,
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that's the truth, ugly truth? perhaps, but truth nevertheless.
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Funny, i thought it was going to be different. I remember being a kid and
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always thinking of living a happy life, growing old, and dying peacefully.
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I'm none of those, even tho some people will say i was old. It really
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doesn't make a difference now.. nothing does.. so this is how it's going to
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be.. i shall be leaving now.. goodbye..
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*click*
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-shyguy
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.DTO.NET /pub/zines/fuck =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= WWW *** http://www.sekurity.org/~fuck *** =
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= http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.simunye.com/fuck =
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= http://www.dis.org/se7en/fuck =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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