88 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
88 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Skitzo?
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-------
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I am Sadia now. Beautiful lil dark mysterious love chyld. Trapped in
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fantasy and not caring about reality. I create reality. People call me
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complex, and those who know me best, say they can never tell what I am
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thinking, and that I always look puzzled. I am. Each day a new piece is
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added, and I'm not sure where the fuck to put it anymore. Trying to figure
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out who I am and why. Battling with my own mind, it tells me things that I
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don't want to believe.
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I won't. I am Gyrl Wunder now. Questioning every answer, truth, lie, look,
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phrase, molecule, and drop of water - everything. I can answer all the
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questions, I just don't know if it is best. Sometimes I convince myself of
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something, and it isn't real at all. Sometimes I get so high, that the wind
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slaps me, and I fall.
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I don't know who I am now. I'm just...me. I'm here, breathing, quite
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heavily. I have many personalities, all of which are beautiful. If people
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could just look beyond what I'm doing or saying, and find out WHY I am
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doing it, they would see the light - the beauty that is behind all this
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negativity. It's there. I see it each time I look in the mirror, every time
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I speak, every time I think. It lives in me, on me, and with me.
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I don't want anyone to know me. They would run away if they did. People are
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scared of what I am capable of. I am scared. I let people know what I want
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them to know, and thy might go on for years thinking they know me,
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well...but they don't know a thing. They never see that which is so
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important. I've never met anyone, well, one person...that was worthy of
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getting me open like that.
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My mind is not a window. You can't look in whenever you want. It is not
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clear, and to you, it's quite foggy actually. You can't shut me when it
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begins to rain and you feel pain. You can't hit me, I won't shatter. You
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may take a peek inside, and stare for hours, but you will only catch a
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glimpse, a brief glare, I'm barely even there. All you see is a reflection
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of an image I portray. My shadow. The denseness.
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Sometimes I go back and read the things I have written. Most of the time I
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wonder who the fuck was in my body or mind when I wrote it. It's mind
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boggling. To know that I wrote one thing, 4 days ago, yet when I read it 4
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days later, it isn't me at all. Well, it was 4 days ago, and it will be
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again one day. My moods swing back and forth fiercely. Don't get to close,
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or you'll get slapped by one of them in your face. Please, just stay in
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your place.
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All of us are a bit skitzo, and we all have the right to be who we want and
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do what we want. Examine yourself, and see if you really know who you are.
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You don't. If you do, and you honestly think you do, you're dense. You have
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tried to complete a cycle which cannot be completed. 360 is not a truth in
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life. Nothing about yourself is complete, unless you kill it. You grow and
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build each day, unconsciously. You can only control that which you create
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for your own self. Everything else is left in the hands of gravity. Gravity
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gets up, it gets down. Gravity is all around. It put these words together.
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It makes you stay grounded. You ARE gravity, and sadly enough, you can't
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control it all. You never will. You never have.
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I'm building, and I can't stop...won't stop...I don't stop.
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-Sadia
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-Gyrl Wunder
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.simunye.com/fuck =
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= http://www.dis.org/se7en/fuck =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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