104 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
104 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Movies: My High School Yearbook
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I didn't finish high school. While my contemporaries drove
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around in their parents' cars, smoking weed and waxing
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mailboxes with baseball bats, I was heading up the hill at
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an ungodly hour to make it to my pre-calc class in my navy
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Honda. Sometimes I'd go to Denny's with them, but mostly
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I hung out by myself and wondered how to fit my square self
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into a round society. At the time I did not mourn the loss of the
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catastrophic shopping trip with my mom to buy a prom dress.
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Nor did I feel left out when my friends donned their blue
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caps and gowns and switched their tassels from one side of
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their drug-smogged heads to the other. Whoopie, I thought,
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with even less enthusiasm than is apparent here. I didn't
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even care that much when I realized I would never be invited
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to a high school reunion to relive the anorexic years and
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be surrounded by the so-called "popular girls", who would
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likely be dejected housewives skulking around the
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auditorium, bellies heavy with pregnancy #2.
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I am in another square phase, so I spend a lot of time with
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media. Computers, TV, video games, books, but mostly movies.
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I have been reliving my high school years vicariously
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through film. I figure, since i don't have any memories of
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my own, why not bask in the ideals of screenwriters?
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So I watched Dazed and Confused, Heathers, Wild Things,
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some nameless Gen X flick about confused little boys unsure
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of What To Be When They Grew Up, some other retro chick
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flick featuring Rosie O'Donnell and Demi Moore called
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Now & Again, and a few late night USA offerings about
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The Ubiquitous Troubled Teen.
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So what did I learn? Well, Dazed and Confused made me
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somewhat nostalgic for the time period right around the year
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of my birth. I got over that pretty quickly when I remembered
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a guy in high school named Tom who was so perpetually
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high that he misspelled his first name when he signed my
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9th grade yearbook. Heathers is always a nice thing to
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eyeball, but my experience of it has become somewhat
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jaded since I discovered that Mr. Slater was jailed for
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beating his girlfriend while under the influence of cocaine.
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The nameless Gen X flick about the boys did nothing but
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reinforce my memories of the little dorks with dicks I
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went to school with. The girls were curling their hair
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and doing their best Madonna imitations, making eyes
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at the boys, who were running around with paper airplanes
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and kicking each other. Worst of all, none of them could
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get through a sentence without squeaking and popping a
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zit without the aid of a mirror. Now & Again was cutesy
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coming of age, so I pretended that I never saw it.
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The late night USA offerings were usually right on.
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Most of them even had vampires or some other creature of
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the night to fuck with. That sounds about how I would
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like to remember high school.
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But Wild Things has to take the cake. Sex, scandal, hot
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chicks like Neve Campbell floating around wearing henna
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and black nail polish, crotch shots of police officers
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and high school teens alike. That at least would have
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been fun. It had drugs and booze, too. Best yet, the
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heroine had an IQ of 200, so not only was she cute, but
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she was smart, too. You gotta admire a screenwriter with
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the guts to make a movie like Wild Things. Made me want
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to go back to high school with bigger guts than I had
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then. The downside? Even the music made me horny, so I
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was in a funk for the rest of the day. I must have been
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wishing I was still in high school, where all the guys
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who have earned the right to be called a Guy are hot,
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and the only thing I had to do all day was figure out
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how I could buy smokes and booze without getting
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ID'd.
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Pretty far from pink prom dresses and blue caps and gowns,
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but hey, we all design our own realities.
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demonika
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demonika@dimensional.com
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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