65 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
65 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Just some thoughts early in the morning
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Odd how we decide things. I grew up hating my body. I was never thin
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enough or active enough. I hated this or that about my body. It seemed
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as if I spent my life in an armed relationship with my body never
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trusting that it would be what I wanted. And yet in reality, my body
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should be my best friend.
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I realized that all those years of hating how I looked - of always
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wanting to change something about my body - of always being disappointed
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at how it performed or more often didn't. I spent those decades searching
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for that acceptance of my body from others. If you liked me then I would
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be ok. And so it is, to my mind, a small wonder that while I think I know
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my body well and recognize how it works, I don't trust it.
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There is a base line certainty that my body is against me. Perhaps that
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is not uncommon for many of us. I don't know. Perhaps that is how society
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has raised us however indirectly that we never really like our bodies.
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But where I am now that has to change. My body and I are in the middle
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of a new relationship that cannot survive a relationship based on fear.
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I need to gather in my acceptance of that body I live in and realize
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that these next many months are going to strain that view of me a great
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deal.
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There are changes happening already. I've got connections now wired
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into my veins that will become hooked to machines. I've no doubt that
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the chemicals they dump into me in high levels will do things to my
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body I won't like. Nor will my body have much fun either. So learning
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to love my body and the changes it is taking now will become essential
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to this journey. At a juncture such as this, I can choose to be an
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invalid or a survivor.
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I choose not to spend my life looking out and wondering what I missed. I
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intend to expect my body to keep up. And to that end, I need to learn
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now to become my own best friend.
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Me
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.simunye.com/fuck =
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= http://www.dis.org/se7en/fuck =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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