136 lines
7.1 KiB
Plaintext
136 lines
7.1 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Drove to Suicide
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@ In loving memory of John V. May you Rest in Peace. @
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For a while I have been debating whether or not I should write this file, but
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obviously you have now seen my final decision.
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"If you hear anything long enough, you are going to start to believe it."
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Which is the same type of logic as "You can get use to anything, given enough
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time."
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Having been picked on, ignored and extremely shy because of that John never
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made a lot of friends. Once he got to HS that only was amplified. Until he
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found some people that he could really hang out with, and they had something
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that helped him relax and unwind, and helped him be just him. Drugs,
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especially the pot really helped him relax, and then he wasn't so shy and
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nervous about things. He could deal with things better.
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People didn't think he'd be able to hear them, or know what they were really
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saying. Or they just didn't care. It's no surprise that people can be
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cruel, but so cruel that it would drive someone to commit suicide?
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Not just one person can be blamed for the suicide of John. Because, really
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as a society, it is somewhat all of our fault. Too many of us, or just people
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in general do not think before they speak, before they act, before they tear
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someone down and rip them apart. People judge without knowing, people give
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up on someone without trying. People make quick rationalizations to excuse
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what they have done or said or been ... but that does not change the fact of
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how it effects the other person.
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The HS was filled with hockey players, football players and other jocks.
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Cheerleaders and people that thought that they were better then others. And,
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that they could tell how someone was by just merely seeing them a couple of
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times. Never giving a second chance, and never changing their minds.
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"If someone is really going to kill themselves, there is nothing anyone can
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do." That is not true, in my opinion.
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What drove John to suicide, was a life that people constantly expected more
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then he could give and then were disappointed in him when he could not
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deliver. Where people always looked down upon him, because of height, once
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he got taller, then his friends or his hobbies, and if not that then, his
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views of the world.
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It is said that the truly great minds and artists are never truly appreciated
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in their time. I think that can also sometimes be true with truly great
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people. Maybe they didn't live a great life, or as great as they could have,
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but, the potential was there, and no one ever nurtured it.
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If no one ever would support you, love you, nurture you, in this life, you
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would not get very far, and anywhere you -did- manage to get, you would not
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be able to stay there for very long, because you wouldn't have the confidence
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needed to sustain the blows and pitfalls of life.
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Supposedly one of the best things in life is a smile. Can you imagine your
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life with no smile? It would be pretty dark, wouldn't it? Maybe you do not
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smile, and you hate smiles and happiness ... and you prefer the darkness
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because it is more comfortable.
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There comes a point in time when you should realize that you need to live
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your life for yourself, and not for others. But, if you never have the
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encouragement to even live how are you going to get that point?
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In a some movie or TV show I have seen in my life, I remember a guy sitting
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there and saying how he was made. It was how his parents explained his
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conception. "That his parents just loved each other so much, that one night
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they loved each other so much more, that you came to live as a testimony of
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that love.". It would be nice if everyone felt loved, needed, and got the
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affection and nurturing they needed, but too many do not. Though, that is not
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what this article is about.
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I am writing this, because I think, we, as individuals or groups can really
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make a difference in others lives, that are around us. We, as people have
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the power to communicate beyond an animal level, we have the power of under-
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standing, and we should use it. Put yourself in the place of another, and
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see how much you like it, and if you don't like it, is there something you
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can do help make it better for that person? If we only did that for each of
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the people that matter anything to us, then this whole world would be much
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better and happier place ... because then every person would know that at
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least one person, this universe cares about them. Cares whether they live
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or die, are doing good or bad, sad or happy.
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There is only so much, we as individuals or groups can do, but shouldn't we
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do as much as we can? Instead, of just sitting back and watching others
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be hurt, and drove to suicide or ostrasization? Because, that someone could
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be us, someday.
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How many times have you wished there would be someone there for you?
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How many times have you wished that you had just one person that cared about
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you?
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How many times have you wished for ... ?
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How many times ... ?
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* * *
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John had a good heart, that most everyone overlooked. He had a mind and a
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heart, just like everyone else. He could think and had lots of ideas, hopes,
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and dreams ... he had things he didn't like, and things he loved. Music he
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listened to and music he hated. Food he ate and food he wouldn't even touch.
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He was a living being ... that felt the world had turned its back on.
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* * *
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-Kamira
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December 27th, 1997
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kami@sekurity.org
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www.sekurity.org/~kamira
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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