98 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
98 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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POOR, POOR ME
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At the age of eleven, I tried to kill myself for the first time. I failed
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completely, and spent the next few years in a deep depression. I considered
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myself worthless - after all, I was not even able to properly end my own
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life. My parents did not understand me. Literally speaking. They consumed so
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much alcohol every day that they did not even understand their own thoughts.
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Mom tried to sell me to strangers and punished me with her knuckles every
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time she failed. Dad abused me sexually together with our neighbors, friends
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and close relatives.
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I had only one friend during my childhood: myself. Unfortunately, I was
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not very fun to play with, so I decided to hate myself. This eventually led
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to the suicide attempt I mentioned in the beginning of this highly
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interesting textfile. I began using heroine at the age of twelve. Since I
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was afraid of needles, I had to take the drug via my rectum. Due to this,
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I lost complete control over my bowels. My pants were always filled to the
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limit with my own excrement. This was not especially popular among dad's
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friends.
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No one knows the real me. This is not very surprising since I am I, and
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no one else. It would be quite bizarre if we were able to look into other
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people's minds just like that. However, I enjoy knowing that only I know the
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real me. The real me and I and friends. We talk to each other, and we do fun
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things together. The real me tells I what a great person me is. I, me and
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The real me are a team. Me sometimes accuses I for spending to much time
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with The real me, but that is just how friends are from time to time. I wish
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me would get to know The real me, but this is only something No one does.
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And No one is always busy writing textfiles, like this one.
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School went bad. Even though I knew that I was a genius, my teachers
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managed to overlook this feature. I decided to revolt against the system,
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which - given the way the System works - always led to sanctions, like 'Big
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Bob will punch you in the face unless you give him your lunch box'. College
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really fucked me up. It was during this period that I came to understand
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that 'The System' is all people, except me. My genius forbid me to become
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a part of The System. Therefore, I isolated myself, abusing nicotine, THC,
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speed, heroine, crack, alcohol, vitamin C, LSD, TCP/IP, hashish, ice and
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coffee.
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Women do not understand me. They just cannot dig what a great person I
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am, my great thoughts, my great beliefs, my great textfiles, my great
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anxiety, and that the size of my penis would amaze them - if I had not cut
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it off by mistake. I ought to admit that these are mere speculations. I have
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never had a woman in my whole life. The reason for this is simple: they
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would not understand me, my great thoughts and beliefs. If, however, some
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woman (preferably one whom looks like they do in Hustler) reads this and
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comes to understand what a great person I am, do not hesitate to come over
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to my place and show me what adult people do when they are alone. Oh, well,
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never mind by the way. I just remembered that I had, in a moment of
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'hard-core truth-saying', claimed that love were nothing more than the
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product of the needs of our selfish genes; a theory I picked up when I
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scanned the latest issue of 'Incomprehensible Science Made Easy For The
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Masses' yesterday.
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Television sucks. How can people stand watching all that crap? I never
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watch television. Yesterday I saw a commercial. It sucked. How can people
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stand watching commercials. Politics sucks. Well, at least I guess it does.
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Since no political party has ever been close to a proposal that truly
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appeals to my genius, I never vote. Someone once asked me 'now, how would
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such a proposal look like?' Is that not obvious? To me it is, but to you
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it is not, because you do not know the real me. Teachers suck. Parents
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suck. Computers suck. You suck. They suck. Textfiles suck. Only idiots
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write textfiles about the anxiety they experience during puberty and
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imagine that someone will be interested in reading them. It is like boring
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your friends to death with your sexual fantasies.
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My files are, however, exceptions.
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Those who find my angst uninteresting are all a bunch of fools that ought
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to be put to death. While we are at the subject of death, let me assure you
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that I want to die. God, I want to die. Oh man, Jesus fucking Christ, how
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much I want to die. Let me just finish these last sentences of this file,
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then I will try to kill myself again. If I succeed, this text will live
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forever. People will worship it, teachers will hand out copies to their
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pupils, the president will weep as he reads it. You will be ashamed of
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yourself as you realize that you did not realize what a great genius I
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really were.
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- the gnn
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k. =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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