89 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
89 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Hate Therapy
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So I found myself in something of a funk last week. Before I go on, let
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me define "funk" in my terms and give a bit of background. When I was in
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Jr. High and High School, I found myself constantly wallowing in depression
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and self-directed hatred. I never opened the blinds, never went out, had no
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real friends to speak of, spent hours just staring at the ceiling and
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basically just wanted to will myself out of existence on a daily basis.
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I was as close to goth as one can get without listening to all that
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shitty music (Insert pseudo-apology to goths here). And for as close as
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I came several times, I, fortunately, never got up the balls to put the
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shotgun in my mouth. It's easiest for me to justify that whole "phase"
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as teenage hormonal and psychological confusion. But upon further
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introspection, I see some other factors involved in my departure from
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self-destructive tendencies.
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I have to think the main thing was that I externalized everything.
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So anyway, like I said, I was in this funk last week. It's as close to
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depression as I have been in a while. As usual, it was for no particular
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reason, what so ever (which always makes me feel even lamer since there
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is no cause at all.) I had been keeping to myself for a couple of days,
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didn't even feel like going out or dealing with anyone. So what do I do?
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I go out.
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Why? To mingle with the rest of the humans that invoke emotions greater
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than depression. To get angry. And I'll be damned if I didn't feel better
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after driving around, screaming at all the morons on the road and being
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annoyed with every single idiot in Denny's. The beauty of it is, you
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don't even need something personal to hate them for. You don't have to
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be racist or elitist or fascist. You just have to be a ME-ist. Just to
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know that all the people around you, are not you, is often enough to
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dislike them at the very least.
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It makes things easier that way.
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I think people underestimate the the therapeutic value of hating other
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people. It is infinitely easier to get pissed and Joe Schmo for being
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a fucking prick bastard, moron than to rip myself apart inside believing
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that it's ME that's a worthless piece of shit. It could be true, but you
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can't make me believe it anymore. Especially since I have come to think
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more highly of myself than I used to. If you don't give a shit about
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yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. Common sense, I
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thought. But when you take all the destructive chaos that does nothing
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but pick away at your mind and ego and you make other people wear your
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nastiness, it takes all the shit off your shoulders.
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I know this sounds really "prickly" to some of you random-acts-of-kindness
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people and all I have to say is: you're hated too. Don't feel left out.
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What you have to understand is that some people are incapable of seeing any
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bright sides. You just have to go with the steaming pile of shit emotion
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that makes you the least uncomfortable. You just have to cope.
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The down side for the hate-therapy is if you are one of those people
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that don't like being judged as a bitch/ asshole before anyone really knows
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anything about you, this probably isn't the method for you. You get into
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the cynic's mindset about everything and it's hard to get out even when
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you want to. Personally, I could give a shit. I'm not a big fan of the
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Human Race as a whole. I got used to people assuming I'm a bitch. But
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that's another story.
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So the moral of THIS story is, give hate a chance.
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- Wednesday
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k. =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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