105 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
105 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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The World Has Turned
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And left me here, just where I was before you appeared.
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The words of a not-so-heard of and not-so-popular Weezer song
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ring through my head. It's late now, by societies standards. Late
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night NBC programs are bieng broadcast over my television, giving
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off nearly the only light in my darkened room.
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Things are changing so fast. Physically, mentally,
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emotionally, socially, and spiritually. There is a fine line
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between what remains constant and what is always changing. I
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am trying to iron out this line in my life, the process is not
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at all easy.
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Physically, I find that I am spending more and
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more time poised in front of my laptop. I find myself on
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this box at odd hours of the night, rambling off my thoughts
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once again for the masses. Excercise is at a minimal. It seems
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as if I fear the light of day. Friends I used to spend a great
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deal of time with have been reprioritized to fit my nocturnal
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computer-user schedule. Even at night they are shunned. They
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rant because they cannot contact me, maybe I'm trying to tell
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them something. Nonetheless, physically I am changing. I am
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becoming the master of my own activities. Whether this is for
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the good of all remains to be seen.
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Mentally, I am making giant gains. I have increased
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my stature in the hacking community tremendously. Also, I
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am actively partaking in a course on Signalling System 7 and
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am foraging ahead into the wonderful world of the telephone
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network. I find myself reading at least a book a week, and
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enjoying doing so. For once, I feel as if I am a mental giant
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in my own world. No one will be able to force me to think of
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myself as inferior, a world of knowledge exsists. And, I have
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acquired the key to it. I will not let it slip away.
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Emotionally, much is changing. The one that I
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felt I should pity-date no longer has feelings for me.
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I'm not sure if this makes me uneasy, or if these makes
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me liberated. It's a tough decision to make. One that I
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have sought after for quite awhile is right there for the
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snatching, perhaps. It'll take a tremendous leap of courage
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to approach her, but I believe the advance can be made. The
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other her doesn't know about the one I desire, and possibly
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still thinks I value hers as one of the highest relationships
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in my life. Indeed, she is quite a valued friend, but does
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not hold the power she once held over my heart. The spell of
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the old wizard that so enthralled me has once again come to
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be. I need to get a plan worked out, and I need to make a
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decision before someone, including myself, gets hurt.
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Socially, things are staying pretty much the same.
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Though, my increasing ability to stay in front of my computer
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for long periods of time has cut-down on the amount of hours
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I spend attached to the phone partaking in conversations with
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my friends. Somehow, I don't miss them. I see myself fading
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back into the world of machines, and it scares me. The thing
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I need to work on is changing my view of the world, and the
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people that inhabit it. It will take a strong center, but I
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feel I can accomplish any goal I set my mind to. Achieving
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social perfection is just activity to be checked off.
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Spiritually, things are back on track. I nearly
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was re-attracted into the Occult, but I believe I choose
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wisely and rejected its dogma. Though some choose not to
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believe in my gods, I am once again affirming my faith
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as a Catholic. But, just because I'm a religious person
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doesn't mean that I don't take responsiblity for my life
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and how it goes, my life is of my making. It's just nice
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to know that the big guy upstairs is looking over my
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shoulder and giving me a pat on the back when I feel alone.
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So, here I am again. Dark ringlets forming
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under my eyes. Coke cans discarded on the floor. Disks
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littering my desks. About to flip a coin, as some other
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writers do, to check to see if this will ever be released.
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Heads it is, mailto jericho@dimensional.com...
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-DropComm
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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