72 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
72 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Exeunt
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------
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jane weighed 65 pounds when i met her. she paced constantly,
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dragging her iv feeding tube around with her. she thought that if
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she exercised enough, she wouldn't gain weight with the tube. she
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was 13. she was sweet and generous, brilliant intellectually. her
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eyes looked like the vapid holes in a skull emptied of its flesh.
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her fingers were so delicate they looked as if holding a pencil
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would be too stressful. she died when she was 14. she weighed 54
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pounds.
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joe was 16 when we met. he tried to kill a kid for calling
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him a faggot. he wasn't gay, just angry. he had been in the hospital
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4 times, once for a year. he never spoke, except to me. somehow he
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felt safe with me. he went into violent rages, kicking and screaming,
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begging to die. the beast, he called it, the rage within him. he
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killed himself when he was 19. they discovered that he had two y
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chromosomes when he died.
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maria was hiv positive. she was 15 and had been coking
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and prostituting for 3 years when we met. she had this hair, so
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gorgeous and long. she was so proud of it. she would spend hours
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on it, even when her face was covered with sores. she ran away once,
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only to come back on smack, trembling and crying. she died at 20.
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cancer, i heard.
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john was 18 when he was diagnosed as having paranoid
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schizophrenia. once he was a kid who liked science and had a
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girlfriend and went to his junior prom. when i saw him he was
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curled up in one of the chairs, hands shaking from the meds,
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whispering softly to himself. he studied the ceiling a lot, and
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had no control of his bladder. they finally put him in diapers.
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i don't know where he is now.
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i was 15 the first time i cut myself. did it for years.
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i tried to kill myself a few ways a few times. i was anorexic
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and bulimic. in the psych hospital twice. they had to watch
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me eat, drink, and go to the bathroom. they took my blood
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every day. i was on 4 or 5 meds at a time. i slept all the time
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or not at all. i have been beaten and raped, sexually abused.
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i have never been totally happy. i doubt i ever will be.
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but i am not dead. and i will not die. i will live.
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even if i have to kill myself trying.
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- Palpable Obscure
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= Files through AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.PRISM.NET/pub/users/mercuri/zines/fuck =
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= FTP.WINTERNET.COM/users/craigb/fuck =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= Files through WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.prism.net/zineworld/fuck/ =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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