120 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
120 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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SOL on AOL
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I don't think this is one of those things that you have to know a
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lot about publishing to laugh at, so here it goes:
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I work for a journal that publishes medical article, amongst other
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things. I was talking with the printing house for our journal about how we
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could save $1000 a year by emailing articles rather than sending them by
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courier. Unfortunately, these stone-chiseling, cave-painting, Gideon
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press-running, monk-scribbling, backward scribes have NO concept of anything
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reasonably hi-tech other than to say that they came to work in a "horseless
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carriage". This guy must have had a bowl of Crispy Wheat and Testicles for
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breakfast ('Now with 30% more Cahonies!") because his reply to my request to
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email these files was (ahem...)
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"My staff tells me it would be too labor intensive."
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Pardon!? "Labor intensive"!? Are they going to translate the files
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from binary by hand? Am I sending these files in Apache? "Labor
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intensive"!?
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Now while you may think this is me over-reacting (perish the
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thought) because I am (overly) comfortable with email, I disagree. Normally
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I'd say yes if it were an Internet application, as I do understand that not
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everyone has severed their ties with society and learned the ins-and-outs of
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the internet. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Some of you may have
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guessed what kind of email it is already, and understand why undies are all
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in a bunch.
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They are using AOL.
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AOL and "LABOR INTENSIVE" go together the same way 'Christian
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Coalition' and 'Maplethrope photo exhibit' roll off the tongue.
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There are some that will say that AOL is still a little tricky.
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Sure, I'll concede to this, too. My friend's grandmother had just a tizzy
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trying to do a keyword search for a peach cobbler recipe until he showed her
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to look up 'cooking' instead. I mean this woman could STILL BE THERE pining
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away at AOL, wasting what could be her last few days of mortality, hung up
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on a semantics problem. To this end, not everyone is an AOL guru, or even
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needs to be one.
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Still, please think with me for a moment: This is the disk that
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they send to mailboxes all over the country, and of which over 6 million
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people have figured out and use. This does not include the millions of
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others that tried and didn't like it, or evolved up to the Internet
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(sorry if I offend any AOL'ers, but the day will come when you log-on
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with your online opposable thumb). This is the online software they
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give to parolees and vagrants. This is the software that is behind every
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third paper towel in public restrooms and are stuck to the floor of movie
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theaters. It is so popular because ANYONE CAN USE IT. Even if you never
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learn how to control satellite orbits from the "WELCOME!" window, there
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is one thing that they are even training cockroaches to do after a nuclear
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war: Send email on AOL.
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I will not know (or perhaps ever understand) what was 'labor
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intensive' about AOL email until Tuesday, so I cannot share that with
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you, kind reader. For that matter, I may never bring up again as the
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concept has the mental equivalent of snorting paint thinner. I did want
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to share this to demonstrate a point that those of us without children
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have not learned yet. Do you remember giving the LAMEST excuses to your
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parents, thinking you had pulled one over on them?
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"Who knocked over the milk?"
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"Maybe it just FELL over!"
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"Are you asleep?"
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"Yeah."
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"I told you not to do this."
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"Well Dad said it was ok!"
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Bull. We never pulled any of crap-excuses over on them. I'm told
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when you're a parent, you realize what kind of a BS artist you THOUGHT you
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were at that age. To me, this whole email issue is the childhood/online
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version of this.
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"Do think your Mother is an idiot? Go to your room until you're
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ready to use AOL email, and that means without dinner young man!"
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Capone
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capone@dimensional.com
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc... =
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= Internet : jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= gote land +27.31.441115 =
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= Arrested Development +31.77.3547477 =
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= Global Chaos +61.2.681.2837 =
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= Chemical Persuasion 203.324.0894 Undrgrnd Indust/Inc. 207.490.2158 =
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= Damnation 212.861.0580 Damnation -Toll Free 888.803.8490 =
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= Hacker's Haven 303.516.9969 Unearthly Shadows 303.683.1443 =
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= E.L.F. (NUP) 314.272.3426 Misery 318.625.4532 =
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= Dungeon Sys. Inc. 410.263.2258 Psykodelik Images -- Down -- =
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= Paradise Lost 414.476.3181 Black SunShine 513.891.3465 =
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= underworld_1995.com 514.683.1894 Digital Fallout 516.378.6640 =
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= PSYCHOSiS 613.836.7211 Bad Trip 615.870.8805 =
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= Plan 9 716.881.3663 suicidal chaos 718.592.1083 =
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= Damaged 801.944.7353 The Death Star Bar 805.872.3151 =
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= Purple Hell 806.791.0747 BloodNet 901.872.8615 =
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= Atrocity Exhibition 905.796.3385 Phoenix Modernz 908.830.8265 =
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= The Keg 914.234.9674 that stupid place 215.985.0462 =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Files through Anon FTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.PRISM.NET/pub/users/mercuri/zines/fuck =
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= FTP.WINTERNET.COM/users/craigb/fuck =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - /pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM - /users/rage/zines/fuck =
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= Files through WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.prism.net/zineworld/fuck/ =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author =
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(11/25/96)
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