80 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
80 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Killing time on a Sunday afternoon
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Have you ever noticed the way stupid people drive? You know who I'm
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talking about. The ones who cut you off on the highway. The ones who take up
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both lanes because they can't seem to make up their mind which one they want
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to drive in. Those guys.
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The ones who piss me off most are the ones who never signal a turn.
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Just how hard is it to reach out your finger and flick that little turn
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signal lever, anyway? My theory is that these people are simply too lazy
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to use their blinkers once in a while. These lazy fucks can't possibly be
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productive members of society.
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So anyhow, I went to a busy corner last Saturday to do some
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observing. I noticed that the worst "blinker offenders" are snobby yuppie
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types with nice cars. I wanted to mess up one of these nice cars to show
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the offenders the error of their ways.
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On Sunday, I grabbed my short-handled maul (like a sledgehammer with
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a short handle (hence the name, stupid)) and headed for the corner once
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more. Hiding the maul between my back and the lightpost, I waited for an
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opportune moment. At last, I saw my target: a trendily-dressed yuppie in a
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green Chevy Blazer that sparkled from a recent wash. He pulled up to the
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corner (failing to utilize his turn signal actuator) and stuck his head out
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the window to look for a clear spot in traffic. I sauntered to his truck,
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raised the maul, and brought it *whoomp!*ing down in a perfect arc.
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Well, almost perfect. I was aiming for the nice shiny chrome side-
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view mirror, but I ended up slamming the 10-pound maul into the offender's
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temple. His eyes sort of bulged out and he groaned as he slumped a bit in
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his seat. Well, I didn't need any lawsuits cluttering up my busy schedule,
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so I figured I'd put the poor bastard out of his misery. I raised the maul
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for another go, but his foot apparently slipped off the brake pedal, because
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his truck started easing out into the oncoming traffic.
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I started jogging alongside the Blazer, giving him a whack every
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few seconds when I could lift the heavy maul. "Die, die, shithead, die!" I
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screeched while turning his head into spaghetti sauce. But I couldn't hear
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myself very well over the sounds of the oncoming traffic swerving around us
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with blaring horns, shouting "hey you moron, get the fuck out the road!" But
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their taunts didn't disturb me as much as the fact that they didn't signal
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before they swerved into the next lane. But that's all right.
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I'll take care of them tomorrow.
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-Legion
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc... =
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= Internet : jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= gote land +27.31.441115 =
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= Arrested Development +31.77.3547477 =
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= Global Chaos +61.2.681.2837 =
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= Chemical Persuasion 203.324.0894 Undrgrnd Indust/Inc. 207.490.2158 =
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= Damnation 212.861.0580 Damnation -Toll Free 888.803.8490 =
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= Hacker's Haven 303.516.9969 Unearthly Shadows 303.683.1443 =
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= E.L.F. (NUP) 314.272.3426 Misery 318.625.4532 =
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= Dungeon Sys. Inc. 410.263.2258 Psykodelik Images -- Down -- =
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= Paradise Lost 414.476.3181 Black SunShine 513.891.3465 =
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= underworld_1995.com 514.683.1894 Digital Fallout 516.378.6640 =
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= PSYCHOSiS 613.836.7211 Bad Trip 615.870.8805 =
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= Plan 9 716.881.3663 suicidal chaos 718.592.1083 =
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= Damaged 801.944.7353 The Death Star Bar 805.872.3151 =
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= Purple Hell 806.791.0747 BloodNet 901.872.8615 =
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= Atrocity Exhibition 905.796.3385 Phoenix Modernz 908.830.8265 =
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= The Keg 914.234.9674 that stupid place 215.985.0462 =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Files through Anon FTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.PRISM.NET/pub/users/mercuri/zines/fuck =
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= FTP.WINTERNET.COM/users/craigb/fuck =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - /pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM - /users/rage/zines/fuck =
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= Files through WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.prism.net/zineworld/fuck/ =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author =
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(11/23/96)
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