190 lines
7.3 KiB
Plaintext
190 lines
7.3 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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St00pid Thangs Part 2
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---------------------
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This is a compilation of great things people have said
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in retail stores. Until recently, I worked in a couple of computer
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stores and constantly dealt with the following types of questions.
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Needless to say, I almost lost my job due to laughing at people
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several times. Some of these were collected by Demonika who also
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gets the pleasure of detailing with chimps and morons.
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"Do you have Nokia battery destroyers?"
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-Wonder if they meant battery eliminators? Maybe I should have offered
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them the use of the store trash compactor.
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"Does Toshiba have anything to do with Packard Bell?"
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-You know how Toshiba and Packard Bell both sound like Japanese
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companies
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"I'm looking for a double speed modem"
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-On top of that, this guy insisted for 10 minutes that his terminology
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was right.
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"Can I just buy a CPU.? Do I need the monitor?"
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-Uh yeah, just jack into the vga port with your hand.
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-Talking about viewing gif files..
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-"Do I need a video card or something?"
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-Talking about AOL service
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-"Im on the internet" .. "getting gifs"
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-AOL is the internet now?
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-Talking about Memory Upgrades
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-"I have 4 'ARE AYE EMMs' on my mainframe"
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-Wanting to return a set of speakers..
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-"Well, I didn't know my car had speakers"
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"What kind of video card do you have?"
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"Sound Blaster 16"
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-This lady knew enough about computers to call a 3.5 disk a 'floppy'
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but needed to ask:
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-"Can I save stuff on a floppy?"
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Guy who NEVER used windows in his 12 years of computer use..
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"Can I get to dos from windows?"
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Person holds up a car adaptor for a cell phone, with the lighter plug
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up and says: "I can't fit this into my cell phone"
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=-=
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Demonika had a great time with these:
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Man - "I bought my phone (cell) from your store, got service on it
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and now I have it at home. What I was wondering was 'can I
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just turn it on and use it now? What do I have to do?'"
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Dem- "Sir, of course, you have service, therefore you can use the phone."
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Man- "But how do I do that? Do I talk to it? Do I have to press any buttons
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or anything?"
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Dem- "Yup, you have to turn it on, put the number in you want to call and
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press send."
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Man- (excitedly) "Oh thank you so much, I had no idea how to do it!"
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A woman comes up brandishing a power extension cord in her hand.
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Her- "I was told to buy an extension cord for my modem, but I have no
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idea where to plug it in"
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Dem- "Is your modem outside or inside your computer?"
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Her- She points to a packard bell and states "I have one of those."
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Dem- "You have no need of a power extension cord"
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Her- "How do I plug it in?"
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Dem- "Use your phone jack, you need a phone extension cord!"
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From here she couldn't comprehend what to do, what a modem was for, etc.
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She had to be shown where to plug the phone line into on the back of
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her computer, and she still didn't realize this was a 'phone/modem'.
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=-=
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A friend of mine is a college professor and teachs basic comp sci courses.
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Fundamentals of computer hardware etc. These are some questions and
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answers from one of his tests.
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What CPU was in the original IBM PC? ___EGA____
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How fast would a chip labeled "MB81256-10" be? ___Motherboard___
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What does ROM stand for? ___Memory___
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On my motherboard, I have 4 rows of 9 memory chips each. Each memory
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chip is a 256k by 1 bit chip. How much total ram do I have? ___13___
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An Intel 486DX2/66 processes information at 66mhz internally. How fast
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does it communicate with the rest of the PC? ___66,000,000___
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Which CPU introduced Virtual Mode? ___IBM___
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What would I plug into the 15 pin high density (3 row) DB connector on
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the back of my PC? ___yes___
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(Those were the questions and answers.. the future system administrators
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of America :)
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=-=
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IRC is the source of a lot of great quotes.. especially about computers.
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<mburger> unix yes its a program based in doss with sveral different
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versions and most internet providers use it as their running
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internet program
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<lamer>How do I compile bugtraq?
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-Bugtraq is an electronic zine.. that is like trying to compile F.U.C.K.
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#hackers Ericholm H ericholm@204.30.69.158 (0 Ace)
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<Ericholm> how can i get into unix things with out a name or
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password
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> what do you mean?
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<Ericholm> anyone know how to?
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<Ericholm> like when it says login
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<Ericholm> i dunno what to type ..my name wont work
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<Ericholm> im kinda new at this stuff too
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> really?!?!!
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<Ericholm> yes
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<Ericholm> on the tel net thing
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<Ericholm> i use procom wight now
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> logon as root then guess the password
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<Ericholm> know any good ftp sites
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<Ericholm> with hacking shit and games???
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> login guest/anonymous/ftp/warez/etc
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<Ericholm> after it says login
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<Ericholm> i type all that?
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> no. just one of them.
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<Ericholm> ahhh be right back heh
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This must have been another 'I just saw waRg4m3s and want to be a hacker!@#'
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=-= Found on a local 303 BBS =-=
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Talking about Windows95
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> working difference I've found is a command "autowin"...it's SOOO
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> amazing...it boots windows when you boot your system! Amazing, huh? The
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> syntax is AUTOWIN ON or AUTOWIN OFF...it makes the beta worth
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> getting...
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The way this was posted indicated the guy was NOT kidding.. I hope he was.
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=-=
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Thats it for now... send me your best for the next in the series...
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Compiled by: DisordeR and DemonikA
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc... =
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= Internet : jericho@netcom.com (Mail is welcome) =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Chemical Persuasion 203.324.0894 Celestial Woodlands 214.252.6455 =
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= Goat Blowers Anon 215.750.0392 Hacker's Haven 303.343.4053 =
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= E.L.F. (NUP) 314.272.3426 Misery 318.625.4532 =
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= Dungeon Sys. Inc. 410.263.2258 Psykodelik Images 407.834.4576 =
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= Paradise Lost 414.476.3181 Black SunShine 513.891.3465 =
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= Digital Fallout 516.378.6640 PSYCHOSiS 613.836.7211 =
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= Bad Trip 615.870.8805 (Your board here!@#!) =
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= Plan 9 716.881.3663 Phallic Paradise 801.944.7353 =
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= Purple Hell 806.791.0747 Logikal Nonsence XXX.XXX.XXXX =
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= PuRe EViL (NUP) 905.XXX.XXXX The Keg 914.234.9674 =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Files through Anonymous FTP: FTP.NETCOM.COM - /pub/je/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.FC.NET - /pub/deadkat/misc/FUCK =
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= FTP.WINTERNET.COM - /users/craigb/fuck =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT - /pub/hackers/zines/fuck =
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= ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - /pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= http://www.ora.com:8080/johnl/e-zine-list/zines/fuck.html =
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