133 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
133 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
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IF YOU WISH TO REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THIS LIST FOR ANY REASON
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just send an email to listserv@netcom.com containing only the line:
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unsubscribe snuffit-l
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DO NOT WHINE TO THE POSTMASTER. DO NOT SEND UNSUBSCRIBE MESSAGES TO:
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snuffit-l@netcom.com, listserver@netcom.com, coe@netcom.com
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-------------------------------------------------------------------
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Dear brethren, it gives me great pleasure to announce that the talk.euthanasia
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news group is a big success. There has been much discussion of euthanasia,
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most of it very serious, and we have made many new friends, including today's
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featured guest, the quick-witted and eloquent Randy Turney
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(rturney@fd.dsccc.com). Randy gets off to great start by flaming some
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pro-abortion idiot who has the nerve to suggest that "in an overpopulated world
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it makes much more sense than bringing another unwanted child into the world."
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Randy really lets him have it!
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>>>>
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I take it you make this statement from a "there is [sic] too many people in
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world so let's ask some to step off" point of view. Well, speak for yourself.
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The child my wife and [I] are expecting IS wanted and so will it's [sic]
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siblings to follow.
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<<<<
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Bravo, Randy, you tell him, and congratulations on that bun in the oven. The
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more the merrier I always say! Randy continues:
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>>>>
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I have respect for those who support euthanasia from the point of view of some
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[sic] seeking to be euthanized, but not for those who support euthanasia from
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the point of view of reducing the burden on society and survivors.
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<<<<
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Well that sounds fair enough, but now look what happens! Some crazy bitch
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from the so-called "Church of Euthanasia" starts foaming at the mouth:
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>>>>
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Randy, the human population is increasing by one million every four days.
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That's ninety-five million people per year (the current population of Mexico).
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Under the circumstances, I have respect for the people who aren't breeding, and
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you're not one of them. Your wife is expecting, and what's done is done. I've
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never refused anyone entry into my Church because of children they already
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have, nor will I, but bragging about how many more you're going to have is
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really going too damn far. We are losing a species every sixty minutes, and an
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acre of trees every eight seconds in the U.S. alone, and it just doesn't mean
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a thing to you. Geophilus (spokesperson for the Gaia Liberation Front) once
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said that while humans evolved on the Earth, they are no longer of the Earth,
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and I swear you are the living proof. Keep stuffing yourself full of dead
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animals, Randy, and remember: the world is your ashtray.
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<<<<
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Ouch! What's her problem? A little PMS maybe? Well, don't fret, because
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Randy's motto is "courage is a man who keeps on coming on." (Captain McNelly,
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Texas Rangers). Yes sir, Randy's as tough as they come, and he bounces right
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back with one of the most impressive statements we've ever seen:
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>>>>
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Do you understand what rights are? Rights are possessed only by members of
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our society - not by plants, trees, animals, the Earth, or other inanimate
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objects.
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<<<<
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Thank you so much, Randy, for pointing this out. Plants, trees, animals, and
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the Earth have no rights whatsoever. If you've seen one plant, you've seen
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them all; they belong in salads. Trees cause pollution; President Reagan
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said so on television, so it must be true. Animals are for barbecuing and
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testing cosmetics on. The Earth is a giant cigar, and it is our sacred duty to
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smoke it, until there is nothing left but smoke, and ashes. Unfortunately the
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Earth is a big planet, and there are still a lot of plants, trees and animals
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left on it, despite what those environmentalist cranks say. This is why we
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must increase our population, by procreating as often as possible. I know
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you're doing your share, Randy, and that's why you're my hero. Keep shooting
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them out, big guy, because that's what you're here for!
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Meanwhile some other joker butts in with a rhetorical question:
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"Do property owners have 'rights' to do whatever so amuses them with their
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piece of the Earth?"
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Randy ponders this one for a while, and lays down the law:
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"I'm a strong believer in property rights, but I would say 'no they don't.'"
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Oh, Randy, say it ain't so! What kind of un-American commie crap is that? Of
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course they do! You just said yourself that the Earth doesn't have rights,
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anymore than slaves or women had rights a few hundred years ago, when things
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were simple and men had courage and kept on coming on! Those were the days,
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weren't they, Randy, those pioneer days, when America stretched out for
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thousands of miles, untouched, a ripe virgin, ready to be raped and beaten and
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bound and sold for auction. Nobody to stand in your way but a few ignorant
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savages, and they certainly didn't have rights, did they, they were only
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animals, or maybe plants, I forget, but who cares, they're all dead now anyway,
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chopped down like trees in the name of God. If you own a piece of Earth, then
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by God you have every right to kill anyone who walks on it, the same as you
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would kill anyone who touched your woman. Hell, that's what the Second
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Amendment is all about: making sure that decent God-fearing Americans like you
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can arm themselves to the teeth to protect their land and animals and slaves
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and women from commie heathens.
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No, you've got to stick up for your rights, Randy, because if you don't, some
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liberal do-gooder is going to come around and take them away from you! It's
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every man for himself here! What's yours is yours, and the one who dies with
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the most toys wins! Peace through Strength, as some famous German guy said!
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Euthanasia is for pussies! Anyone who doesn't want to live is a pussy, and
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there's no room for pussies in America!
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"Sell a country! Why not sell the air, the clouds and the great sea, as well
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as the earth?"
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-some pussy named Tecumseh
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Rev. Chris Korda The Church of Euthanasia coe@netcom.com
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ftp: ftp.etext.org /pub/Zines/Snuffit
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gopher: gopher.etext.org Zines/Snuffit
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www: http://www.paranoia.com/coe/
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news: talk.euthanasia
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