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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Volume 1, Issue 1
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et Cetera: the zine of everything and nothing
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October 1994
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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WHAT THERE IS IN THIS ISSUE
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---------------------------
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THE DIRTY FOGGY WINDOW
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Saddam Hussein
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The Nobel Prize
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etc.
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INTROSPECTIVE-EXTROSPECTIVE?
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Math Anxiety...................................Brett Allen Holloway-Reeves
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whose bruised metropolis.......................................Jason Fried
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PHENYLKRTONURICS.......................................Christopher Hepburn
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Another night................................................William Shard
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The Party.....................................................David Bolduc
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Pilgrim........................................................Thomas Bell
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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et Cetera is exactly what it says.. "and other things" if i'm not mistaken.
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it will conduct interviews on random topics (we'll try to cover EVERYTHING at
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least once!) have alot of feedback and have some creative writing in the
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second section of the zine with little nibblets about the artists... it's fun
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and serious, mundane and inspired, pointless and focused.. all in one. we'll
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do everything about nothing and nothing about everything. it is published and
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distributed electronically as often as i can (which may not be very often).
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Copyright 1994 by Steve Lee. All works are Copyright 1994 of their respective
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authors. et Cetera may be downloaded and distributed free of charge for non-
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profit use as long as it is cited. All authors hold presumptive copyrights to
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their works and should be contacted before their works are reproduced
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separately. The views presented here are (probably) not the views of the
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editor. It is available via ftp at etext.archive.umich.edu and gopher at
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ftp.etext.org.
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It is the responsibility of the contributors to make sure they are not
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infringing on some other copyright. In other words, if there is some illegal
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reproduction here - it's not my fault!
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Submissions should be sent to lees@andrews.edu.
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send everything.... poems on post-modernity
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essays on the soul of social consciousness
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stories about your pet piglet..
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NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING...
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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EDITOR'S NOTES
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(mindless ramblings to follow)
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this is, of course, the debut issue of et Cetera - something i've been
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meaning to do for a long time but have never gotten around to it because of
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phenomenal sloth and the simple lack of work to publish. it's truly amazing to
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me how unbelievably hard it is to coax people into submitting their work.
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perhaps it is the format - so you won't really see yourself in print (although,
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i'm planning on a print version soon) - this is by far, the most accessible
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form for the work to take on. so get it out. it's doing no good sitting in
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your scrapbook.
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i did get a few brave souls to submit and i thank them wholeheartedly.
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the best works are what you see in this first issue. also, i asked alot of
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people to answer some very bizzare, disjointed questions and i'd like to thank
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the ones who answered them first and THEN laughed at me.
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a bit about myself. i just graduated with a BS in zoology (i should've
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majored in english, too, but a double major was looking more and more
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unattractive the longer i stayed in college) and i'm working in a thrombolysis
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lab trying to find a better treatment for broken hearts before i go to a MSTP
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next year. i'm wondering what i'm doing in the real world and i've decided i'm
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going to stay in school for the rest of my life after this year.
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why am i doing this? (caring thoughtful responses below)
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"Why the hell are you doing this? Are you that bored?" - Julian Nam
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"He has nothing else to do, he is Oklahoma for God's sake." - Brett Reece
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"Steve is lonely, eccentric, and losing his mind." - Lori Georgeson
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"Steve is up to something. Steve is curious. Steve is too weird so why
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try to even think about getting inside his head." - Youlee Kim
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"He's extremely board" - Marvin Puymon
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they're all right (especially Brett) except for Marvin - i have no idea what he
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was thinking about when he wrote his response. the fact of the matter is that
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i'm living in oklahoma for one year and i have no reason not to do it. not to
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say that oklahoma is the armpit state of the union (new jersey deserves that
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honor), it's more like the sole-of-your-feet state of the union. everyone
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steps on it for no better reason than that it's there. in support of oklahoma,
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there are few other places where you can hear an "alternative" country station
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interfering with a classic country station and enjoy that raw, unadulterated
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angst.
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well, enjoy this first issue. if you're reading this, i'd like to know
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just how many people are seeing this (so i know what degree of embarassment i
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should be experiencing) so drop me a line at the above address just to let me
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know that you've looked at it. any comments, submissions, and volunteers for
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interviews are welcome. enjoy!
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???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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THE DIRTY FOGGY WINDOW
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???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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I know that this is the babble that I'm supposed to put in the editorial,
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but since this is the first issue and the stuff above is windy anyway, I
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thought I would split it up into two sections and give the illusion of brevity
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and substance. Also, hopefully, I will con someone into doing some of this for
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me (someone else with alot of time and little direction in life can help me
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with a postscript version of this, too).
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Just last friday, the Nobel Prize Committee announced the winners of the
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1994 Noble Prize. Ironically, the Noble Peace Prize goes to Arafat. After
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hearing this, my mind has only one response, "huh?" I would've given it to
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Mandela but, he's already got one. Give it to the American hick before Arafat
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though. What I don't understand is how does a man who was a self-proclaimed
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terrorist, mass murderer, amoral, subhuman butcher for the vast majority of his
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public life come away with the Nobel Peace Prize for acting like a normal human
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being? Sure Carter broke some policy during negotiations but... anyway, to
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cut to the chase, I have the official defense of the committee right here for
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your inspection:
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"Oh, I thought he was getting a prize for best dressed in the middle east."
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-BR (lame excuse for a bad choice)
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"I used to think it was hard to get the Nobel Peace Prize, but it looks like
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any fool can get it now. Hell, even you may get it Steve!"
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-DK (his dissent of the decision)
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"It just seemed like the natural sort of thing for the estate of a major
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dynamite manufacturer to do. After all, he's been one of our best customers
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over the years." -JM (truth)
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"Apparently the Nobel Prize committee (we) has recently begun "a most peaceful
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terrorist" prize. The committee's PR people have been pretty slow getting
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this information out to the rest of the world."
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-AE (I knew there was an explanation for this)
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I just happened to notice that our friend Saddam Hussein was camping on the
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fence again. Why? The opinion of our Middle East expert, LG.
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"Saddam Hussein is an attention-starved idiot who can't believe that some other
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person could be in the news more than he is."
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Obviously, Hussein believes HE should've won the Noble Peace Prize. But what
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does he hope to accomplish?
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"He's stupid" -EA
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Now that we got that cleared up, let's go on to the Noble Prize for Medicine.
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This went to Gilman and for their work on G proteins. So I went back to
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the committee and asked them what G proteins were.
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"G protein is the new potion that you can take to attract "G"irls."
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-JN (obviously been sitting on the committee too long)
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"I think it's involved with GTP or something like that."
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-PR (hmm.. this is what you get when you ask a senior premed
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to sit on the committee)
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"what the heck is a G protein? Do I need to know this for interviews?"
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-BR (same comment as above)
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"I think it has something to do w/ signal transduction."
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-MN (ahhh, yes... and this from a mathematician!)
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Which brings us to my mutual fund which has for some odd reason been quickly
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disintegrating into a black hole of financial oblivion. This is the
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conversation I had with my financial consultant a few days ago.
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"Hello, this is Harry Pitts." <--name changed for privacy
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"Hello, Mr. Pitts, this is Steve Lee." <--this is me talking
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"Oh, hi Steve, how are you?"
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"Fine, but why isn't my mutual fund?"
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"Well, uh, hmmm.. Well, Steve, the reason is that.. blah blah blah... and
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that the global market..etc etc etc... and trade agreements...blah blah...and
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Japan...a downward trend...fourth quarter returns...predict...rise...global
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economy... Now do you understand?"
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"Uh, yes, of course! Thank you." <--this is me lying my head off because
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I didn't understand a word he said.
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So I've decided to ask some of my friends why this is happening to me?
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"Because you have the wrong mutual fund."
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-Marvin Puymon
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Obviously this is what happens when you ask a physicist about money. So I
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asked Brett Reece for a translation of the above translation.
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"Well, the market has had a tough time of things lately. Your mutual fund is
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not diverse enough to fight off the general trends of the market as a whole.
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There are several mathematical models to prove this...."
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Ok, that's where he lost me. If anyone has a real reaon, email me at the
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address given above. Ok, now to the Heart of the matter.
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*******************************************************************************
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INTROSPECTIVE-EXTROSPECTIVE?
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*******************************************************************************
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Brett Allen Holloway-Reeves
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MATH ANXIETY
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------------
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We fit the world in equation.
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Shoring it up with subscript and superscript,
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We bounce down the narrow channel of the equal sign.
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Who will admit they're turned around, twisted knee to nose;
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flipped out by a 3;
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cut short with 5;
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laid back on a 6?
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This ain't the move we thought it was.
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Someone somewhere made us learn the number sentence.
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The empty parts we marked with letters,
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And there were numbers for the letters.
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But now the numbers trip us too.
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The slippery space between the variable *a* and its power of 4
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Scares us so much more than the vampire/gargoyle/werewolf,
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All-too-human demon of the horror matinee.
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Could *a* = *a*, or *A* , or maybe 0?
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The sun burns 93 million miles away, but it's drowning today in
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the clouds.
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The dark not-known holds us off.
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Knocks back our giddy desires.
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But could it be
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These figures point to a magic in matter itself?
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A drive that won't allow a simple device, but demands participation;
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that gives the static its will to stay;
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that launches abstraction's loop into the void;
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which is tingling with delight.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Jason Fried
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Whose bruised metropolis
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------------------------
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paralyzed buildings perforate the smog
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their peaks bleed from our waste
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their bodies asphyxiate in the breeze
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their limbs drip with venomous dust
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- the green daydreams inside are critical
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to keep them alive
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potholed city streets imagine maps
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and their symbolic immunity
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wishing, for once, they could be
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an imitation, an apparition, a generic replica
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of themselves
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stagnant air floats among the stories
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- an attitude without sanity
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high enough for the buildings
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low enough for the natives
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obviously shared by everyone who exists -
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all too indisputable to offset
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when wealth is the fulcrum
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sufferers are apparent amid the chaos
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the coughing
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the wheezing
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the gasping
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the death
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of the children give it away
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there appears to not be enough intelligence
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to go around
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instead, it is goes down
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deep into the earth
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to exhume what is deliberately too deep to abuse
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just a few miles removed
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beyond the diseased structures
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the decaying avenues
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the dying air
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lies the countryside
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- the fairy tale environment
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with a fatal ending all too common
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in our uranium century
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Christopher Hepburn
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PHENYLKRTONURICS
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----------------
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throwing acorns at the stars of bad mini
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series who couldn't make it in the movies bring
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on the dancing gorillas in their tutu's too short
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in bad need of a wax or a shave and or any process
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of hair depilatory nature didn't evolve them into
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wearing calvin klein bikini brief style underwear
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just a hairy butt is all you need in the wild but
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tarzan needed jane like gretzky needs the ice or
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the stanley cup of coffe misspelled because I don't
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like the way it was spelled in the first place and I've got
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my whistler 17 x,y and k band cop detector strapped to my
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dash board just in case someone tries to pull me over
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and revoke my poetic license yes I did get it off a
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cereal box when I was 7 and a half Cap'n Crunch
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said to me you should write poetry or bad song
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lyrics whichever you prefer I chose poetry.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This was my first sort of foray into prose poetry. I wrote it while in Joyce
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Peserofs poetry workshop at Emerson College in Boston almost a year ago.
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This is also the first poem I have turned into a video poem.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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William Shard
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Another Night
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-------------
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another night when children die
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the death of men, living as beasts
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carved upon hidden walls
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with painted faces and lost
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hopes of immortal bliss
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innocent joy is no longer
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the cup placed between their
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cracked lips thirsting
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in vain for love that never
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comes to here or there.
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and everywhere the fading cries
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of perpetual pain of loss
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of things that never were
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or can be. alone. a life
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stagnant attrition from truth
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purity lost, reality
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oppressive and sure
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This is something I wrote after driving through Chicago's south side.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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David Bolduc
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The Party
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---------
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Angela's discretion failed,
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not when she made out in the living room closet
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with the married Italian Brooklyn fireman,
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but when she opened the door
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and smiled demurely at 27 people
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-- her dress on backwards.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"The Party." -- Memories of a roommate in New York now already a decade ago.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thomas Bell
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Pilgrim
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-------
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(
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( ~)
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~)
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) / PP
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(~ I D LLL
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( )
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~ ,;~`";;, ~~~| V
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? ? ;; l L
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O ;;
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C %% p /b w
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Birds wheel slowly up #%% \ / yy
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\ \ %#%%##%#%%%%%' | ?
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and over.\ \Branches reach %%` W{ -=O
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\ #% #%%% && yy
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endlessly toward... %%" nn ))
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#%# ###' //
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Wild ivy will not forget%%%` mmmmk
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%##%##%@#@%%@@%%%%^ nnnnq
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in-grown pains laid at the roots.
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### ``'`"""'\ {}{}{}{} {}
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nn \
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n $ I$$ \ #&\ #& &&&
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n $ l$$ \
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n $ I$$ \ after Hakuin,
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n %%%$$$%% Bada Shanren 9/94
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Pilgrim was an experiment in fusing graphics and poetry and was inspired by
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Hakuin.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
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The People
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&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
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THE POETS
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Brett Holloway-Reeves a Ph.D. (in English) student at the University of Texas
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at Austin, where he host a poetry show on student radio 91.7 KVRX. He grew up
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on a farm in Louisiana (South La, thank you) and is just finishing a collection
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of poems and short stories about that area, called %Topsy%.
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Jason Fried is a junior at the University of Arizona and is majoring in finance
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and/or economics and/or marketing. He is originally from Chicago and resides
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there when he is not in school. After school, Jason hopes to move back to
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Chicago and delve into the stock market full time. Email address:
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fried@GAS.UUG.Arizona.Edu - email openly welcome.
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Christopher Hepburn lives in Albany, California is currently on an extended
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leave of absence from the Creative Writing MFA program at Emerson College in
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Boston. He is in the process of applying to the Inter-Arts Program at San
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Francisco State where he plans to get a Masters degree and work on
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video.poetry. In the mean time he is a house husband and takes great care of
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his 2 year old son Justus Reilly. His wife Hilary make all the money. He
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plans to win awards for his ground breaking video.poetry and then get a grant
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from Silicon Graphics, in the form of an Iris (but would settle for an
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Indigo) and then really do some amazing stuff.
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William Shard doesn't what he's doing or what he's going to do but hopes to
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start very soon. His works have been published in Groovy Toothpicks, Fresh
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Oil-Loose Gravel, The Black Dog Review, and a few others that he can't remember
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at the moment.
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David Bolduc's a new writer living in Mountain View, CA, whose work within the
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last year's been published in Amethyst, Bay Windows, Iris, Exquisite Corpse,
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/Gae-Raj/, and Wilde Oaks, etc.
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Thomas Bell was a librarian and an editor before his current post as a
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psychologist in private practice in Nashville. Lately, he's gone back to
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writing poetry as recreation and escape.
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THE EXPERTS
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Brett Reece has an academic problem.. He planned to study but these dumbass
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questions ended up taking all of his time up. Bye. Write something cool to
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me, not this survey crap... (genius is never appreciated in it's own time...)
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Laura is a premed student who is thinking of just giving it all up and living
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a bohemian lifestyle in the rain forests of south america where she hopes to
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assimilate with the kawanagie tribe.
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Marvin Puymon is trying to go to grad school in physics. He wants everyone to
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know that he had a great time in Jordan and Europe this past summer and his
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goal in life is to learn French and Russian.
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Youlee is waiting to be the best that she can be at anything and everything
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because she does not feel good otherwise and because her fortune cookie says,
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"Self-betterment" and nothing more.
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Lori Georgeson is a person still trying to decide (she's a second year med
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student at UAB)
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Julian Nam is still trying to prove something to himself that he can do
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whatever the hell he wants to do.
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Aileen just wants to graduate and find a low-paying broadcast job so I can
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waste my time preaching to people, who don't really care.
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Joey is a Zoology major who is shopping for marine biology graduate
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programs.
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Edsel Adap is now working at Andersen Consulting (Arthur Andersen & Co.) and
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plans to be a millionaire by the time he's 30.
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(The following people did not write me blurbs so i'm taking the liberty of
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writing one for them)
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Matt Neimark is a senior mathematics major (last i heard) at MIT and is also
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hunting graduate schools.
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Paul Row and Dan Kim are roomates and future HMO slaves.
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Harry Pitts is not the real name of my broker and his words have been heavily
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paraphrased by me.
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Thanks to everyone who helped out!
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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