150 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
150 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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ÚÙ À¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄ ³
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³ ÀÄ¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄ¿
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³ À¿ ÃÄÄÄÄ¿ ÀÄ¿
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³ ³ ³ ÀÄÄ À¿
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³ ³ ³ ÚÙ
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³ ÚÄÙ ³ ÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÙ
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ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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Damned Fucking Shit
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Edited by Access Denied
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Issue #17
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Title: 50 Things To Do With Those Nasty
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Holiday Leftovers
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Date: 1/8/94
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By: Blurr
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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
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50 things to do with those nasty holiday leftovers..
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by Blurr [ATOMiC]
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- Eat them..
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- Sell them to a local High School for mystery-meat day..
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- Patch cement..
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- Put them in your 5¬ drive.. (What else do you need it for?!)
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- Attatch a FILE_ID.DIZ to them and upload for lots of creditz..
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- Throw in some Forum source code and develop a new BBS software..
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- Place them in the Ponderosa buffet bar (to improve taste)..
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- Attatch a stolen font and advertise for your board..
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- Send them to SiN for speedy cracking..
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- Jam them in your teacher's muffler..
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- Give them to president Clinton so he will inhale them..
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- Let them rot.. inhale the fumes.. and go on a shooting rampage..
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- Compare the color scheme to that of a default PC-Board..
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- Abuse them so they run away on their own..
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- Put it in the back of Jeffrey Dahmer's fridge to accompany that eyeball
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they never scraped out..
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- Feed them to blind people and say it's fine cuisine..
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- Sell them to CBS for next year's prime time line-up..
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- Sell them to FOX so they can base a new hit show on them..
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- Attatch a wig and date them..
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- Greet them in your next 200 line ANSi..
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- Use them in your nifty macros..
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- Submit them to DFS.. who knows.. they might just be in the next mag!
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- Freeze-dry them for the next earthquake..
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- Put them in your food dehydrator and make some form of jerky..
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- Give them a phone and let them be a Psychic Friend..
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- Use them when you run out of Soylent Green..
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- Give them to UCLA as a second place trophy <go badgers!>
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- Give them to a police officer next time you get pulled over.. he may just
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let you off a bit easier!..
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- Let them be your Co-Sysop..
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- Let Michael Jackson baby-sit them..
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- Give them to Michael Jackson's lawyer so he doesn't sue me for writing that
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last use for holiday leftovers..
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- Use them as covers for your expansion slots when you lose them..
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- Taunt them..
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- Donate them to Goodwill..
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- Use them as a lifesaving device..
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- Form a /<-Rad group and distribute them around your area code..
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- Use them as seat covers..
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- Feed them to your pets and watch them as they grow extra appendages..
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- Put them out of their misery..
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- Eat them.. digest them.. shit them.. and then inspect them..
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- Give them to your girlfriend because you forgot it was her birthday..
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- Feed them to Oprah..
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- Make an ashtray..
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- Develop a revolutionary new compression system with them.. (remember .OWS?)
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- Send them to US Robotics for an upgrade to next year's leftovers..
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- Throw them onto a dog track and watch them fight over it..
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- Assassinate Barney (the dinosaur) with them..
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- Replace controversial evidence in your next phreaking trial with them..
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- Convert it to ANSi for your new logon screen..
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- love it.. touch it.. call it George..
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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This file is for information purposes only.. it is not recommended that
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any of you actually KEEP your holiday leftovers.. to those i have offended,
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life sucks.. get a helmet..
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Compiled by: (( Blurr )) - [ATOMiC]
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Sysop - Blurred Vision
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Find DFS On These Fine Systems
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=========================================================
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| Paradise Lost - +1.414.476.3181 |
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| Ti - (Private) |
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| Realms of Decadence - +1.216.671.0078,,t66 |
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| Plan 9 Information Archives - +1.716.881.FONE (3663) |
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| |
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| AE - Plan 9 Information Archives - Login: DFS |
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| FTP - etext.archive.umich.edu - pub/Zines/DFS |
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| To submit, call Paradise Lost and log on as DFS. The |
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| password is JINGLE JINGLE. |
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=========================================================
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