141 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
141 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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ÚÙ À¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄ ³
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³ ÀÄ¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄ¿
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³ À¿ ÃÄÄÄÄ¿ ÀÄ¿
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³ ³ ³ ÀÄÄ À¿
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³ ³ ³ ÚÙ
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³ ÚÄÙ ³ ÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÙ
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ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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Damned Fucking Shit
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Edited by Access Denied
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Issue #3
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Title: 101 Things To Do With Spam, Jello, or
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Vasaline.
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By: Access Denied
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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
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101 Things To Do With Spam, Jello, or Vasaline
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1. Eat it.
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2. Smell it.
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3. Feed it to your kid sister.
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4. Feed it to your kid brother.
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5. Throw it at people.
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6. Put it in people's car exhaust pipes.
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7. Use it as a sex aid.
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8. Burn it.
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9. Lick it.
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10. Use it to stick in ears to block out those nasty voices.
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11. Smear it on hands to keep the maggots off.
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12. Use it to remove makeup.
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13. Use it to remove chest hair.
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14. Feed it to your pet poodle and put it in the microwave.
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15. See what chemicals from your chemistry class make it explode.
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16. Use it as a nice centerpeice at thanksgiving.
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17. Use it as a nice conversation peice on your coffee table.
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18. Put it in your coffee instead of that crappy sugar substitute.
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19. Use it as shaving cream.
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20. Store it in your underwear because it feels good.
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21. Put it on the part of the phone you put your ear on so visitors
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who ask to use your phone get a nasty surprise.
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22. Masturbate with it.
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23. Make a Spam/Jello/Vasaline bomb.
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24. Mail it to the FBI so they think it's a new form of letter
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bomb.
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25. Rape your dog with it.
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26. Take baths with it.
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27. Give it to the homeless people for Thanksgiving/Christmas/
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Father's Day/Memorial Day or any other sutible holiday.
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28. Put it in people's mailboxes.
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29. Mail it using UPS or Federal Express.
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30. Put it in your desk at school.
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31. Put it in your locker at school.
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32. Put it in someone else's locker at school.
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33. Stuff it in someone's ear.
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34. Burn it some more.
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35. Write your last will and testament with it.
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36. Smoke it and try to get high.
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37. Give it to ignorant children and tell them they can get high
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with it.
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38. Give it to your girlfriend.
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39. Give it to the girl you have fantasies about.
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40. Put it under your fingernails and walk down the street smelling
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them.
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41. Try and burn your hair with it.
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42. Style your hair with it.
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43. Use it to remove charcole stains from your arm.
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44. Use it as deodorant.
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45. Put it on toilet seats.
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46. Drop it on a city from an airplane.
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47. Use it in satanic rituals with cats.
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48. Kill it.
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49. Throw it at your TV.
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50. Flush it down your toilet.
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51. Commit suicide with it.
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52. Use it as sunglasses.
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53. Drop it off a building and see if it bounces.
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54. Drop it off a building and see if it dents the ground.
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55. Throw it at peoples houses.
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56. Throw it at cars.
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57. Throw it at dogs.
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58. Throw it at cats.
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59. Throw it at monkeys.
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60. Throw it at ferrets.
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61. Feed it to animals at the zoo.
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62. Feed it to little children on the street.
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63. Feed it to anyone on the street.
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64. Mold it to look like a really good looking girl.
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65. Throw it in a corner and watch it rot.
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66. Have sex with it.
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67. Play poker with it.
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68. Phreak with it.
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69. ***CENSORED***
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70. Throw it at Access Denied (NOT THE GROUP!) because he censored
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the last one.
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71. Kill people with it.
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72. Kill small animals with it.
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73. Slick back your hair with it.
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74. Use it in your printer.
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75. Write huge boring long textfiles about it.
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76. Eat it nonstop in the middle of a busy street until you explode
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and plaster everyone with your guts and entrails.
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77. Use it to spell out "Thanks To Incarnate" on your wall.
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78. Give it to people for presents at major holidays.
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79. Give it out at halloween.
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80. Sit in the bathroom with it.
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81. Move to Brazil with it.
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82. Marry it.
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83. Burry it alive.
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84. Watch Monday Night Football with it.
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85. Use it as golf balls.
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86. Net your BBS with it.
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87. Pretend its actually the president of the United States and try
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to make other people believe it is the president.
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88. Pray to it.
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89. Pretend it's God and don't believe in it.
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90. Tell it you love it and then leave it.
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91. Keep your brother awake with it.
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92. Whip yourself with it.
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93. Put it in a bag and whip someone else with it.
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94. Shave your head with it, join the IRA and move to Colombia.
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95. Put it in a suitcase.
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96. Play ping pong with it.
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97. Derail trains with.
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98. Use it as a wrist-watch.
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99. Wear it as shoes.
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100. Pretend it's your best friend and play hide-and-seek with it.
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101. Anything else.
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This list was compiled by Access Denied (NOT THE GROUP!) with comments from
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Incarnate and Dementia Pr’cox.
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ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
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º Distribution Sites: º
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º If you're on the BBSs you know it. º
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º Fuck you if you're not. º
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ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
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