207 lines
9.8 KiB
Plaintext
207 lines
9.8 KiB
Plaintext
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: :::. : ____,
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In Memory, : :: : : |_ _; Karl Marx
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,~~ : :::'istorted : `|| says:
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--)( : :::. :::: : || "Aufheben!"
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()= : :: :igital ::. rection : []
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HOOKAH! : :::' :::: :
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19 March 1994 : Text File #18 Mongoloid Telecom
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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DISTORTED DIGITAL ERECTION is PROUD to present another Modem Wrestling
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Federation file from the arcane 64k of memory of Spirit of Entropy's
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computer ....
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The Modem Wrestling Federation Proudly presents:
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Live - from the Akron Rubber Bowl...
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The MWF Tag-Team Title Bout!
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Featuring...
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Sorc and Spirit of Entropy
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Vs.
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Larry Smith and Ramsey
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You can feel the electricty in the air here at the Akron Rubber Bowl.
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Thousands of anxious modem users await tonight's modem wrestling spectacular.
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It seems that years of animosity have culminated into a fight to the finish,
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for the loser of tonight's match LEAVES THE MODEM COMMUNITY!
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That's right! Prior to the match, the contestants agreed that the team who
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lost would leave modem land forever. Their boards would be taken down, and
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they would sell their precious modems. It's all or nothing tonight!
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The lights in the bowl dim. Music starts to play. "People are Strange"
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by the Doors can be heard over loud speakers. It can only be ... yes! It's
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Larry Smith, notorious Canton Connection sysop! Next to him saunters Ramsey.
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Ramsey is in rare form tonight, actually flurting with underage modem users
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in PERSON!
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"Remember out chat session last night?", asks Ramsey to a young boy in the
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crowd. "Mmmm ... I loved every minute. We'll have REAL fun tonight!". The
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pre-teen is overcome with confused feelings and longings, and collapses back
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into his seat - playing with him self like a mad man.
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Larry and Ramsey enter the ring. Larry grabs the ring microphone and
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screams, "I run the best BBS system in Stark County! All those lines ...
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30,000 files on-line! I RULE!". Hundreds of users scream their approval,
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most of them under age or on welfare.
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Spotlights blaze a trail to the dressing room doors as Sorc and Spirit of
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Entropy enter the ring. Strains of Jello Biafra's "Power Is Boring" echo
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throughout the Akron Rubber Bowl. SOE is decked out in a jacket that reads
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"Radio KAOS - here we go again!". Sorc quickly hands a cigar box to some
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friends as Akron Police come to escort the pair to the ring. "Hey, make
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sure they don't get this! This is quality herb!"
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Many older modem users are cheering the sight of SOE, otherwise known as
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Elminster. From the crowd, Buckwheat screams "Ah, you rat bastard!". Spirit
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of Entropy laughs and does his Tom Olson imitation in response. "Yeah, yeah
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... Bucky Bucky Bucky!" SOE grabs some copies of old MWF matches and throws
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the gifts to the approving crowd.
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The opponents enter the ring. Guest referee Raptor rings the bell, and the
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match begins!
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Sorc and Ramsey advance towards one another.
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"Let me guess, you're going to put me down because of my looks and my
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weight?", asks Ramsey with a sneer.
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"Nope", says Sorc. "Only low-class morons resort to name calling." In the
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crowd, Confederate sysop Thom Davis becomes enraged and begins to shout
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"Ryan, you asshole ... your system sucks! You're a little boy! I'll cut your
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phone lines again!". Sorc yells back "You mistake creativity for immaturity.
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Go back home, you piece of white trash!"
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Ramsey, angry at the term white trash being used in a negative way, clobbers
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Sorc with her secret weapon - page after page of CHAT SEX PRINTOUTS!!!
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Sorc is on the floor! He can't get up. No human being could withstand such
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an assult. Page after page of Ramsey having explicit sexual conversations
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with underage boys. "Hey!" screams referee Raptor, "That's OUR chat! You
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captured it! You BITCH!" Raptor is in the ring! He slams Ramsey in the head
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with his bell hammer before officials can restrain him. Moonshadow replaces
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the enraged Raptor as referee. In the confusion, Sorc manages to roll over
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and tag Spirit of Entropy who vaults into the ring.
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SOE immediately slams Ramsey with secret Necro files of Ramsey and other
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white trash, older woman having chat sex with young male users ... even
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some perverted men pretending to be women for the kids on-line! Ramsey is
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stunned. SOE then begins to assault Ramsey with his years of modeming
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experience. Ramsey falls to the mat, but managed to roll over to her corner
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so Larry can tag her. Larry enters the ring.
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"I run the best BBS in the county, and you just can't deal with it!", laughs
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Larry. Larry begins to throw public domain CDs at SOE, but Spirit manages to
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evade damage. "Almost all worthless ... what a waste of money!". Larry then
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attempts to whack ...
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SOE with his co-sysop Chaos's poorly written BBS On-Line door. SOE counters
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with the Necro Digitally Distorted Erection series of text files. He then
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slams Larry with printouts of the messages in the Necropolis "Rodent
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Control" base.
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"You're a laughing stock! Everyone knows what a pervert you are, and how
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lame your BBS system is. You can get 1,000 lines and it will still be a
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haven for the uncreative white trash of the county. It caters to the lowest
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common denominator of human life!", yells Spirit of Entropy.
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Larry, in desperation, tries to clobber with his system's NET mail areas ..
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but since hardly anyone uses them .. the attack is ineffective. Seeing Larry
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about to go down, SOE tags Sorc. "I'll let you have the honor," yells SOE.
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Sorc smiles in anticipation of victory.
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Sorc grabs Larry by the shirt front. "So, tell me ... what's it like to be
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involved with the 540 Club? You know, the private GAY bar?". Larry is shocked.
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"How did you find out? ... er, I mean ... I don't know what you're talking
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about." Sorc mercilessly clobbers Larry with tapes of Sorc calling Larry
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and Larry the one minute answering the phone and the next claiming to not
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know what a BBS is or that he himself is Larry. Sorc grabs the sum total of
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his HUGE text file library, preparing to finish Larry when ...
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"Stop this!" says someone from behind Sorc. Sorc looks around and finds a
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delegation of men. One of them speaks, effecting an Arnez/Ricardo Montalban
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type voice. "We cannot allow you to beat Larry. We need his system to be
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on-line in your community!"
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"Hey!" yells Spirit of Entropy, "I know that voice .. you're the guy Howard
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Stern always makes fun of! You're the guy from NAMBLA - the North American
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Man Boy Love Association!" The crowd is shocked into silence. Larry takes
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the ring microphone and begins to speak:
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"I wanted to run this BBS for entertainment. As it went on, however, I
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realized that I could use it as a tool for recruitment. It's homosexuality
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is ok. We need to socialize people into understanding that."
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"There's understanding," says Sorc to Larry, "and then there's molestation.
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Many of these kids just wanted some telecom fun, and ended up involved with
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all of this sexual garbage. Do you think their parents would approve?" SOE
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glares at Ramsey, remembering the anger he felt when he found out that his
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former modem "buddie" Ramsey was involved in such business.
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"We cannot allow this to continue. TCC will remain on-line. You homo-phobes
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must leave the community." Several NAMBLA members have reached the ring and
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are starting to advance toward SOE and Sorc. The crowd begins to mutter.
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"Hey, I just wanted to play on-line games ..."
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"My kid is involved with WHAT!"
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"Oh, shit! I bet Ladyhawk buffered all of those chats!" ... all these
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comments are heard from the crowd. Some members of the crowd refuse to
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believe what is going on, loving the teleconference too much. Others are
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disgusted and pledge not to call again. The crowd begins to throw things and
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fight amongst itself! It's a riot! Akron police enter the arena and escort
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the tag team members to secure facilities.
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"You haven't won yet!" hollers Sorc. "I'll defeat you yet. In the arena of
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intellectual prowess, you're a midget amongst giants!"
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"Oh yeah! Well NAMBLA funnels me money! I'll have the biggest system
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anywhere!" retorts Larry, frothing at the mouth.
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Guest referee Moonshadow calls the match a draw. A new one will have to be
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rescheduled.
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Will creativity and intelligent conversation win? Or will teleconference and
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chat sex mean the end of Stark telecom as we know it? I guess we'll have to
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see.
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MWF Stats:
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MWF Champion: Sorc
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MWF Tag-Team Champions: Up for grabs
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Next issue of the MWF: contestants fight it out for a shot at the
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Championship best. The Tag-Team match is rescheduled with new contestants.
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Watch and see.....
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`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
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Distorted Digital Erection March 1994 Text File #18
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DDE is fully supported on the Necropolis BBS
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216.966.8970 - subterranean telecom - All TEXT!
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vaginal yeast infections are worse, much worse..
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Submissions are accepted. Send your t-file submission to Sorc, on
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the Necropolis. If using a new account, (I)nclude the file with
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the New User Application.
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CHECK for MORE Distorted Digital Erection in the NEAR future!
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TCC in CHECK! ... and assorted tales of erect rodentia!...
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Soon to be supported on TWO MORE 216 bulletin boards!
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`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
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-eof-
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