181 lines
7.0 KiB
Plaintext
181 lines
7.0 KiB
Plaintext
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:::.
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:: :istorted
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:::'
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Text File #7 :::. Amphetamine Gobbler
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ :: :igital ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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16 February 1994 :::' Mongoloid Telecom
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::::
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::. rection
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::::
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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'Getting Blowed the Necropolis Way'
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Greetings my fellow faithful text-file readers! And what a t-file
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we have for you tonight!
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Let's begin with a look back and one of our favorite voice mail
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systems in the country - the AK-47 codeline! As I looked through
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some of the old things I have lying around the hard disk, this
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transcript came through. What a treat it is:
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"What up lokes? This is AK-47 doin an update for Friday, August 11, 8
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o'clock PM at night ... callin from Compton - Murder Capitol of the
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World.
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Oooh, I can't wait to get this update kickin.. got lots o' codes and info
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ooooh yea .. but you know what? Fuck ya mutha fukkas!
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People callin up sayin they can do this and they can do that and puttin
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nothin on the box. ..
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I don't run this codelines cuz I need codes .. I run this so you mutha
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fukkas can get codes.
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But when people call up and just start leavin messages or hangin up to
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the black power structure callin me a nigger .. or yeah I love that word
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... nigger
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I say fuck the white man!
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White man don't rule nuthin but the crack a'my ass. But I try to help out
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you lilly white ass mutha fukkas.
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You honkadelic mutha fukkas!
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BAM!"
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Isn't that a real treat? Oh, and there's more where that came from.
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For instance, just take a look at some of the online sexual things
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that have surfaced. These are from my archives were Cleopatra would
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buffer her mail and send it to me. Let's check it out, hm?
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Date: 11:26 pm Sun May 24, 1992 Number : 2 of 10
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From: Cleopatra #115 Base : Private mail
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To : Shaboo #129 Refer #: None
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Subj: Re: Hi there... Replies: None
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Stat: Normal Origin : Local
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S> Hi Sweetie....Just read your profile. I see that you will consider
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S> trying
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S> something different. Ever have fun with a married man and another
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S> female? How about Phoebe?? Let me know and tell me more about
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S> yourself..
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Hey there big guy! I've never had fun with a married man before.
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Have I ever had fun with another woman before? Maybe! Maybe when
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I know you better I'll let you know about it. What about Phoebe?
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Get back to me. I'm always open to new friends.
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S> Hi Hon...(you can tell me your first name, mine's Dave)...Sorry it's
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S> taken me so long to answer, but this board's line is busy alot. Wonder
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S> why you can't get on The Canton Connection?? Anyway, you sound pretty
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S> good to me. 38's huh? Good size mouthful for me!!! And I love great
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S> legs. What turns me on??? Talking to females that I don't know. I love
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S> modem sex, it's great...and hoping some time it can be for real. I am
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S> willing to cheat on my wife, but I must be promised that nothing will be
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S> said to anybody. You think you might be interested??? Just knowing that
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S> the possibility exists and fucking someone I don't know turns me on.
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S> Have
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S> you ever seen a guy someplace and wished to could do anything ya wanted
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S> to with him....even though you don't know him???? Wish you would
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S> consider it sometime. Hope to hear from you real soon......Dave :*
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-- end of capture
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Isn't that just delightful... ? See, these are just a few of the
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things that heighten the enjoyment of telecom. Some things are
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just too good to be true, I guess.
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As a side note, this is a treat to ALL Necropolis users!
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| *** Wednesday, February 16, 1993 - Sorc will be LIVE on the air
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| *** to discuss the Necropolis on 990 AM (WTIG) around 9:30pm!
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| *** All of you be sure to tune in ... Howard Stearn can suck
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| *** the wild hog as Sorc ascends to radio king!
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NEXT TOPIC: The Road to "Fucked Up"
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This is 'How to Get Fucked Up the Necropolis Way'.
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There are many different types of getting fucked up. We'll be looking
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at one particular form today. I like to call it: sloshingly shit-faced.
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For some people, its a way of life. Look at frat parties. For some,
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it is an occasional treat that is just a swell thing to do.
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Here's what you need.
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A Bottle of Absolut Vodka
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1/8th of God's Gift to Man (not G.G. Allin)
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A Bulletin Board System (preferably established)
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Here's what you do. First of all, getting the Absolut. This might
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be kind of hard to do, depending on your status. Overall, though,
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this is a relatively simple task. A fake I.D. or compassionate
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21+ year old is enough for this.
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As for the 1/8th, geez. You could probably get that ANYWHERE, isn't
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that right, D.A.R.E.?! Just go down to ANY street corner in Canton
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and I'm sure you'll be able to find something.
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And the BBS? Well, this is optional but I would recommend it.
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Ok, here we go. Find a good place to go. There are many in Canton.
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Smoke a bowl. Smoke another. Take a shot of vodka. Smoke a pinner
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bowl. Take a shot of vodka. Smoke another bowl. At your discretion,
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take another shot. Don't even think about driving, conrad, cuz
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you're blowed!
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Anyways, this is one of the many Necropolis methods of getting
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blown. There are so many more! We could just go on. And on. And
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on.
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While you're at it, get some good music. In particular, you'll
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want to listen to Tool ("Opiate"), Hoodoo Gurus (for a good mood
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tone), perhaps some Jane's... a personal favorite is Devo, but
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y'know.. that's pretty selective. Frank Black is also a good
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one.
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You might ask: Gee, AG, why blowed instead of blown? Very simple!
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This is what we call gansta slang. Gangstas are too cool to use
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any kind of grammar so we can't say "blown" ... besides, we have
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to be able to say: "Damn man, dat bitch hit like a mother fucka..
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It make me so blowed.. damn.."
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That's all for now kids!
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`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
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Distorted Digital Erection February 1994 Text File #7
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DDE is fully supported on the Necropolis BBS
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216.966.8970 - subterranean telecom - All TEXT!
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vaginal yeast infections are worse, much worse..
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Submissions are accepted. Send your t-file submission to Sorc, on
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the Necropolis. If using a new account, (I)nclude the file with
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the New User Application.
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CHECK for MORE Distorted Digital Erection in the NEAR future!
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TCC in CHECK! ... and assorted tales of erect rodentia!...
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`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
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-eof-
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