219 lines
9.3 KiB
Plaintext
219 lines
9.3 KiB
Plaintext
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:::.
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:: :istorted
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:::'
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Text File #1 :::. Spirit of Entropy
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ :: :igital ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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8 February 1994 :::' Mongoloid Telecom
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::::
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::. rection
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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'Modem Wrestling Federation Returns!'
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by Spirit of Entropy
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In conjunction with Necropolis telecom enterprises ...........
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T H E
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M O D E M W R E S T L I N G F E D E R A T I O N
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It's here once again friends and neighbors, the 1994 edition of the Modem
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Wrestling Federation!
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It's sheer chaos here at the Akron Rubber Bowl! The stadium is filled to
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capacity with modem users from around the country to view this battle for
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possession of the coveted Modem Wrestling Federation Championship belt!
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Coming up the isle side to the music of Tom Petty's 'Rebel Without a Clue'
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... it's the community's favorite modem rebel, Sorc! Sorc is sauntering down
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the isle accompanied by several Glenoak high school students. All of them seem
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less than completely 'here'. Sorc grabs the ring microphone. "Hey! Fuck
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society! The country is completely fucked! Lets tear it DOWN!!!!!" The
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Akron Bowl is filled with yells as the crowd goes wild. Burnouts flail
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their fists into the air to enact their cathardic ritual of rebellion.
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Next ... to the strains of the Doors 'People are Strange' ... it's that
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master of telechat, the Lord of Chat Sex ... LARRY SMITH! Yes, the sysop of
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The Canton Connection is HERE! Many members of the crowd look on in wonder,
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wondering about the many rumors surrounding this local Stark sysop.
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Larry goes to the mic. "I run a clean system. You don't have to pay if you
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don't want to. I don't encourage any kind of unwholesomeness".
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"Hey, you perverted loser!" screams someone from the crowd. "We've got
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CAPTURES of Ramsey and other losers from your BBS having CHAT SEX with young
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children! Ever heard of 'pandering pornographic materials to minors'!"
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"Fuck off Elminster," screams Larry. "I kicked you off my BBS, and now you'll
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NEVER get back on!"
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Guest Referee Virgin Sacrifice rings the bell...
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"Hey, Larry. I've got 5 fakes on your pathetic system! Go pound salt!",
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screams Elminster.
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"Why, you..." mutters Larry. Larry unfortunatly hasn't noticed that the match
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has begun! Sorc comes up behind Larry and slams him with capture buffers of
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chat sex on the Canton Connection!
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"Hey, let me introduce you to the county prosecutor after the match ... he's
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right over there!," screams Sorc.
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"I run the best BBS in the county!", yells Larry, smashing Sorc with a Canton
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Connection door program, written by his crony Chaos.
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Sorc smashes Larry with a forearm. Larry responds with a sharp kick to the
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groin, which drops Sorc sprawling to the matt. Larry then begins to kick Sorc
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while he's down ... of course!
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"Hey, what's going on there?" asks new modem user Dick Hertz. "That's illegal!
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Where's the referee?". The crowd starts to look around. Oh, no! Virgin
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Sacrifice has been cornered by horny modem males! Shaboo and Ironman have got
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her in a corner!
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"C'mon baby!", says Shaboo. "My wife will never know!"
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"This is fucking BULLSHIT!" screams Dick.
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"Well then, go do something about it!" yells Elminster. "If you want to be a
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sysop, do something memorable!" Dick looks at the disgusting scene, unsure of
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what he can do ... meanwhile, in the ring ...
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Larry has got Sorc in a choke hold! Sorc is starting to lose consciousness!
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What's this? Chaos and Ramsey from Canton Connection are in the ring! Ramsey
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is smashing Ryan with his 'Open Letter to the Canton Connection'!
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"If I want to molest children, i'll molest children!" hollers Ramsey. "You
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might be smarter than I am, better looking, and generally a superior human
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being ... but ... but ...". Ramsey looks confused. Chaos smacks Sorc with a
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text file on the donation structure of TCC. Meanwhile....
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"Look, Dick..." says Elminster. "I don't dislike you or anything. You just
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wanted to run a BBS all of a sudden ... and i've seen too many rodent hole
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systems. I didn't mean to come down on you. Look. Lets go save VS. Maybe Sorc
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will give us higher access!"
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"Yeah!", says Dick Hertz. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. It just
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pissed me of. You don't even know me. Well ... lets kick some ass!"
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Dick and Elminster jump from their seats and run down to the emergency exit,
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where Virgin Sacrifice is being molested.
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"C'mon baby ... you KNOW you want it!" says Ironman, stroking VS's upper arm.
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"You modem geeks! I'd rather gargle with broken glass then TOUCH you! I have a
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life! I have a MIND! I'm going to be SOMEONE, unlike YOU!". Suddenly, Ironman
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is DOWN! Dick Hertz is smashing him with his high school text books! Next,
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Dick rips him with a capture of his various angry messages to Elminster!
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"I'm going to make you sorry you messed with me Elminster!" says Shaboo.
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Elminster looks unconcerned. "The Goddess hagave me a gift. Want to see it?"
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Elminster pulls out a diskette of some sort... it's GOLD! It's GLOWING!
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"This represents the sum total of my experience as a modem user." says
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Elminster. "8 years ... 3 BBS systems ... you're screwed!". The disk pulses
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with light, and Shaboo is down on the floor ... out cold!
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"What the hell was that?" asks Hertz, wiping blood from his hands.
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"Just make sure to disinfect that hand. TCC user and all ... you know what
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they say ... 'An ounce of prevention, because there is no cure!'"
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"Thanks for the assist." says VS. "I always knew you didn't hide under a bed
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Elminster!"
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Back in the ring ....
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Sorc is on his last legs. He manages with his last strength to knock Ramsey
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and Chaos out of the ring with a copy of his system activity log! "See ... I
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have ACTIVE users!" says Sorc to Larry.
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Larry is angry. He smashes Sorc with a copy of all of his xxx pervert-special
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text files. Sorc is about to go down when .... WHO IS THIS?
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A man has leaped into the ring! He smashes Larry with a copy of the Christian
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Bible! Larry is stuned!
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"Your BBS is a den of perversion! It is an abomination to the Lord, thy God!
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Prepare for DOOM!". The man assaults Larry with a crucifix. Larry tries to
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protect himself with some photos of one of his various TCC picnics. The
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stranger counters with a 'Man O War' CD.
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Sorc staggers to his feet. "Go ahead and finish him, neighbor!" yells the
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unknown man.
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"Hey!" screams Azathoth. "That's Duuk Tsarith!" The crowd gasps in
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amazement, surprised to see the infameous modem evangelist in the ring!
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Sorc grabs Larry by the shirt front, and clobbers him with his SAT/ACT scores.
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He then wacks Larry with various debate researcch. "Fininsh him, baby!"
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screams Virgin Sacrifice. "We'll go back to your house, and .... " Sorc wastes
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no time. He looks the almost comatose Larry in the eye. "You have many phone
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lines. You mave many megs. You have net mail. You can hook your BBS to a Cray,
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and it will ALWAYS be what it is ... a sink hole of rodentism. A place for the
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idiotic and perverted. I will ALWAYS run the most innovative, creative, and
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interesting BBS in the COUNTY!". Sorc winds up .... and smashed Larry with a
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copy of his own idiotic, pathetic user registry! Larry is out COLD! He ain't
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getting up!
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"The winner of tonight's attraction ... the rebirth of the MWF.... Sorc!".
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Virgin Sacrifice raises Socr's arm into the air, and gives him a quick kiss to
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boot! The crown is on its feet! Cheering is like a wave, rolling over the
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Akron Bowl."
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"Wait!" yells Sorc, pointing to Duuk Tsarith. "Why did you help me tonight
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Duuk? We never agree. We always argue. Why?"
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"A spirit of perversion hangs above Larry". Duuk says. "Besides, no matter
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what we say to each other ... no matter how often we disagree .. i'll still
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pray for you, still try to help you out all I can."
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"Well", says Sorc. "I don't believe in this Jesus stuff ... but, what the
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hell. You're ok with me!" The crowd gives three cheetrs for Duuk! Even
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ELMINSTER!
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"What the heck." says Elmmy. "It could be worse. He could be a MORMON!".
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Watch for another EXCITING episode of ...........
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THE MODEM WRESTLING FEDERATION!!!!!!!!
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`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
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Distorted Digital Erection February 1994 Text File #1
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DDE is fully supported on the Necropolis BBS
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216.966.8970 - subterranean telecom - All TEXT!
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vaginal yeast infections are worse, much worse..
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Submissions are accepted. Send your t-file submission to Sorc, on
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the Necropolis. If using a new account, (I)nclude the file with
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the New User Application.
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CHECK for MORE Distorted Digital Erection in the NEAR future!
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TCC in CHECK! ... and assorted tales of erect rodentia!...
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`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
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-eof-
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