1775 lines
85 KiB
Plaintext
1775 lines
85 KiB
Plaintext
BTN: Birmingham Telecommunications News
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COPYRIGHT 1991 ISSN 1055-4548
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March 1991 Volume 4, Issue 3
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Table Of Contents
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-----------------
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Article Title Author
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Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Staff
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Publisher's Corner.............................Mark Maisel
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Editorial......................................Tim Straughn
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What Exactly Is This Papacy, etc...............Sinister Dexter
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Currently Untitled (fiction)...................Jeremy Lewis
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Notes From The Trenches........................Dean Costello
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Survey Suggestions.............................Scott Hollifield
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?Why I Compute?................................Ricky Eanes
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You Need Help! (provided by Mark Shafer).......Unknown
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Review: Wing Commander........................Colby Gibson
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Review: SimEarth..............................Jeff Hollingsworth
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What Is An ECHO, or How Does, etc..............Fred Hambrecht
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ProFile: Lurch Henson.........................Chris Mohney
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Special Interest Groups (SIGs).................Barry Bowden
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Known BBS Numbers..............................Staff
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Echoes/Network List............................Staff
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN
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We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and
|
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information in our publication. We assume no responsibility for damage
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due to errors, omissions, etc. The liability, if any for BTN, its
|
||
editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or omissions,
|
||
etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN,
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even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood
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of such damages occurring.
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With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our
|
||
policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles. We publish
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monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to
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||
publication. If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any
|
||
time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear
|
||
in a particular issue. It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise
|
||
harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the
|
||
content of the articles prepared by our writers. Our writers own their
|
||
work and it is protected by copyright. We allow reprinting of articles
|
||
from BTN with only a few restrictions. The author may object to a
|
||
reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article.
|
||
Otherwise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as
|
||
the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the
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article's original title are retained. If you use one of our articles,
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please forward a copy of your publication to:
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Mark Maisel
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Editor, BTN
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221 Chestnut St.
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BHM, AL 35210-3219
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(205)-956-0176
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We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that
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you like it. We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing
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all of this and not get too serious about it.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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F R E E B I E : G E T I T W H I L E I T S H O T !
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The following boards allow BTN to be downloaded freely, that is with no
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charge to any existing upload/download ratios.
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The Connection LZ Birmingham Alter-Ego
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Channel 8250 Little Kingdom Joker's Castle
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Crunchy Frog Myth Drannor Posys BBS
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The Matrix Abject Poverty The Bus
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The Outer Limits Bloom County
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||
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If you are a sysop and you allow BTN to be downloaded freely, please let
|
||
me know via EZNet so that I can post your board as a free BTN
|
||
distributor. Thanks.
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MM
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Publisher's Corner
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by Mark Maisel
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I have decided to try keeping a little space for myself and, at the same
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time provide a platform for those of you who are interested, a place to
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stand up and use as a soapbox. Express your ideas in BTN. What a
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||
bargain! All you have to do is generate said ideas and get them past my
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very lenient publication standards. I would appreciate it if you would
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||
at least try to be civil and stick to your point. Personal attacks
|
||
against specific persons and/or entities will most likely be axed so
|
||
please don't even think about it.
|
||
|
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Big news in BTN! We seem to be quite steady at this larger size. Kudos
|
||
and whatnot to all who see fit to continue and those beginning to
|
||
contribute to BTN. I hope that you will take the time to read
|
||
everything in BTN but I know that most of you will only take aim at a
|
||
few of the articles that may interest you. They are all good and mostly
|
||
homegrown. BTN seems to be growing in scope and personality. I have
|
||
pondered this before and have decided, at least for now, to continue to
|
||
let it do what it will.
|
||
|
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I have been considering parties again...I know, I know, you are already
|
||
squealing with excitement. April will probably be the first one. The
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||
invitation will reflect some changes in what I expect of my guests and I
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hope that you will read and comply. If not, I may have to reconsider my
|
||
position on hosting parties for the masses.
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One more thing that you may find of interest, back in December sometime,
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||
someone, I believe from Washington D.C. got hold of an issue of BTN.
|
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For whatever reason, they saw fit to have an application for an ISSN
|
||
from the Library of Congress. ISSN is the numbering system for
|
||
periodicals used by the library. What this number means for BTN,
|
||
firstly and important to me, copyright protection, and secondly for
|
||
those who seek such, legitimacy as a publication. I wish to thank
|
||
whoever it was that thought enough of our humble efforts and hope that
|
||
BTN will continue to spread and prosper. With your help, feedback, the
|
||
occasional article, and general abuse, it will do just that. The
|
||
library called today and gave me the number. What a coincidence since
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||
today is the day this turkey is overdue. You can spy our new ISSN in
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the 2nd line of this file right next to our copyright notice. I will be
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||
receiving written verification of our number through the mail soon.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Editorial
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by Tim Straughn
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The following is an opinion piece by Tim and BTN
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||
invites you to respond. Any civil reply will be
|
||
considered for this spot next month. If you don't
|
||
feel like responding to this and have something else
|
||
to say, please consider using this space to say it.
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MM
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The Smoking Traveler
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With the recent Federal crack-downs on smoking in public places such as
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libraries and other public buildings, one of the buildings coming under
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attack from this is the Birmingham airport. In some ways, I agree with
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the general principles of the new laws, but in others, I feel that the
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implementation of the laws is a farce. The methods of alleviating the
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problems of "second-hand smoke" are far from the best ways to resolve
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the problems, and are completely unfair to those of us who do smoke.
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Other private building practices enforced by the companies that operate
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those buildings are also a farce, and will only cost the company money.
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My real beef is related to a recent trip to Schenectady, NY. I am a
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smoker, and can agree with the limitations originally imposed by the
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various airline companies that any flight lasting less than 1 hour
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should prohibit smoking on it, and in fact since the flight is so short,
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and usually is a climb and then a descent with no real "cruising" at any
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altitude, the movement about the cabin should be restricted as well. One
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such flight that comes to mind is the hop from here to Atlanta, GA.
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This flight is only about 40 minutes, and any smoker should be able to
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do without his habit for this amount of time. Here's the real clincher
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though. I knew that the laws were further `enhanced' to include all
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domestic flights, i.e., even flights from Atlanta to Los Angeles, which
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are approximately 6 hours. This is asking a bit too much of the smoker
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to do without his habit for this extended period, and the ultimate
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solution to the problem of second-hand smoke is not prohibition, but
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better ventilation. The issue is further inflamed when no regulations
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are put on perfumes and colognes worn on the same aircraft. Again,
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knowing that I could not smoke on the flight, or actually until I got to
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my destination due to building regulations, I went to the little
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convenience store in the Airport to pick up a pack of gum to prevent me
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from grinding my teeth to dust, and also to help with the pressure
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changes related to air flight. The first thing I saw was the cigarette
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stand in the store, and was slightly amused that cigarettes were sold in
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a no-smoking facility. When I enquired for gum, I was quickly informed
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that gum could not be purchased in the airport. WHAT!? First of all,
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the smoker has been deprived of a vice which he enjoys, and then, is
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offered no alternative, and on top of that, is tempted by the displays
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and reminded of his nicotine urges. Well, knowing that ranting about it
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would only possibly get me kicked out of the airport, I went on down to
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the boarding gate. I got within 50 feet of the gate, and was assaulted
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by some of the most foul smelling perfume I have ever smelled in my
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life, and the concentrations of it in the air should have been
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considered chemical warfare. The first thought I had was "I hope this
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broad isn't on the same flight." I was wrong. Not only was she on the
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same flight, but she wound up in the seat next to me on a completely
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booked flight. I have never been air sick in my life, but in that one
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little flight to Atlanta, I came as close as I want to it. The noxious
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concentrations gave me a tremendous headache and made me very nauseated.
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When getting off the plane in Atlanta, I looked the woman in the eye,
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and said, "And some folks have the gall to complain about smokers.....".
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I was thankful that I made it to Atlanta without puking all over me and
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the surrounding passengers, and the walk through the airport did wonders
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for settling my stomach and head.
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Now, I was getting close to the boarding gate for my connection to
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Albany, NY, and was again assaulted by very high concentrations of
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perfume. I hoped and prayed that person was getting on a different
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flight, but again I was wrong, and again, the person wound up in the
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seat next to me. This time, there was an empty seat, so I paged the
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flight attendant, and asked if I could move. She asked why, and I asked
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if something was wrong with her nose. The woman wearing the offensive
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perfume was of course very insulted, but I simply told her that she
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wasn't offensive, but her perfume was. I cannot help but believe that
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concentrations of scents like that are as bad for one if not worse than
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second-hand smoke. I was wishing that I had eaten a huge bowl of beans
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before leaving home. I think that I will use that tactic next time I go
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somewhere. If I can't smoke, I might as well fart, because someone is
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going to be a source of foul odors, and it might as well be me. I think
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I'd rather smell what George Carlin refers to as a "rip-shit- tear-ass"
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fart than to have to smell some of the perfumes which some folks think
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smell good.
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I guess what I am getting at is that in order for this thing to work out
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fairly, each passenger should pass through a gas analyzer as well as the
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metal detectors at the security gates, and be forced to go take a bath
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if the concentrations of perfume scents exceed a given level.
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Like I said, I am a smoker, but when in a crowded room, I do try to curb
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my habit to be fair to the non-smokers in the area. When in the car
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traveling with my wife and children, if my wife is smoking, then I
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refrain in order to keep the concentration of smoke down to a tolerable
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level for the kids. I also try to keep good air circulation in the car
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as well. On airplanes, think about where the smoking sections were
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before smoking was completely prohibited. If you were a smoker and were
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flying coach, you usually wound up on seats in the back of the aircraft.
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On a Boeing 727, this can be especially excruciating, because of the
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vacuum created when the turbines are accelerated for take-off, or for
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deceleration of the aircraft on landing. You wind up with one on either
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side of you, and one over your head. Trust me, I've been in the front
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and rear on a 727, and there is a change in cabin pressure at the rear
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when the engines are revved. If I remember correctly, wasn't this
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called discrimination when the blacks were forced to sit in the back of
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busses in the 50's and 60's? Smokers are being discriminated against,
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plain and simple. I feel that if someone objects to the smoker so much,
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then he has all the right in the world to take a different flight, and
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to refuse to get on the aircraft with the smoker.
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The thing that triggered this rant was the fact that I could buy
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cigarettes in a declared no-smoking zone, and could not get a pack of
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gum to help me curb my urges. This stinks. The other contributing
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factor is the assault of the perfume from other passengers, who were
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quite possibly some of the same people that voted to prohibit my smoking
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habit on airlines. I know that cigarette smoke stinks to some people,
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but they above all should be aware that perfume stinks to some people
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too.
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The other peeve I have with non-smoker's rights is the implementation of
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no-smoking policies in the work place. Recently, our entire office
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building was declared a non-smoking facility. Good. When I want a
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cigarette, I will simply stop what I am doing, and get up and go outside
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to imbibe in my vice. What does this do for the company? Well, it
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decreases my productivity significantly because each time that I get up
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and leave whatever it is that I am doing, I have at least a short review
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of what I was doing to refresh the train of thought that I was in. This
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review would not be necessary if I did not have to leave what I was
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doing. I can see where smoking in the office presents problems for
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non-smokers, however, the solution is not to make the smokers less
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productive. The solution is to increase ventilation. This option has a
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one-time expense, and is not that significant in comparison to the
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number of hours lost over a period of time, which could have been
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productive hours at $125 per hour. A lot of modifications can be made
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to an HVAC system for one 8 hour day's worth of time at $125/hr. for one
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smoker. There are 6 smokers in our office. While we are a minority of
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the population in the office, we still cost as much as the majority. We
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still have productivity measurements imposed on us as well. Some would
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say that the obvious solution is to quit smoking. I don't ask anyone
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else to stop any of their habits, one of which is gum chewing. But, I
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also wish that I could legally beat the owner of the cud that I stepped
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in when walking down the sidewalk. Even tobacco chewing is not
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prohibited in the office. Now you want to talk about a disgusting
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habit! Ever seen a desk that a spit cup got turned over?
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All in all, I just feel that the people that make the rules need to view
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the impact of their rules from all sides before making the rules into
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law. If a smoking area is provided, a lot fewer problems will occur.
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If the smoking prohibitions are further enhanced to encompass the
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wearing of loud obnoxious perfumes in quantities that would kill a
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moose, then I will consider this a move to make the policies more fair.
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Anything beyond simple deodorant on the human body in the work place is
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unnecessary, and an infringement on my rights to not have to smell the
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crap. Personally, I would rather smell body odor than to smell some of
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the perfumes I have had to contend with in our office. It is that
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serious, believe me.
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I can see prohibition of smoking in areas where safety may be
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compromised, in situations where the ventilation is poor, but if the
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ventilation cannot be solved, then it is inadequate to begin with, and
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the area should be considered a confined space and appropriate
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respirator equipment used.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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What, Exactly, Is This Papacy I've Been Hearing Of, And What Can It Do
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For Me?
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An exclusive interview with the heads of the Crunchy Frog Cabal, or
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whatever they're calling it today, by Sinister Dexter
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As I drove the el cheapo rented subcompact up to the gates of the large
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estate at Nice (that's pronounced NEECE for all you non-literates out
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there), I marveled at the sheer SIZE of the place. The main building was
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a four-story mansion, complete with helipad and twenty-car parking
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garage. Scattered about the grounds were smaller structures, apparently
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quarters for the hundreds of acolytes that staffed the place. Also
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obvious were the tennis courts and the large swimming pool.
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An eager looking acolyte in a valet's uniform took my keys, and roared
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off in the small car almost before I could retrieve my recording gear.
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Another acolyte led me up the ornate marble stairway into the main
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building. As I passed into the huge foyer, I found myself uttering a low
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whistle - this place must have been EXPENSIVE. The foyer was a full four
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stories high, and a large stained-glass skylight depicting a constable
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opening a box of chocolates topped the room. A large, multi-tiered
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fountain lay in the center, and several expensive-looking sofas and
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chairs lined the room. I picked a seat near the fountain and sat down.
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Within minutes, I heard the sounds of approaching footsteps as two
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figures descended from one of the upper floors. As they neared, I could
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tell it was Episkopos R.J. Gumby and Cardinal Bishop, the two I was
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looking for. Putting on my best reporter's smile, I switched on my tape
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recorder.
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Dexter: Hello. I'm Dexter...
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R.J.: Can you help us settle something?
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Dexter: Er... sure.
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R.J.: At the end of "Young Guns", did the Doc/Narrator character
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speak in first- or third-person?
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Dexter: Third, I think.
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Bishop: Told ya.
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R.J.: Damn. <scrounges in pocket, comes up with twenty-dollar bill,
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which he hands to The Bishop> Now, then, you're Dexter, right?
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Dexter: Yes.
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R.J.: I knew it. I'm Episkopos Pope Pope Praetor Sir Dr. Dr. R.J.
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Gumby, as you well know. And this is...
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Bishop: Pope Pope Cardinal Dr. Bishop, at your service.
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<general shaking of hands, and all that>
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R.J.: Now, then, what would you like to know?
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Dexter: Just a few general questions for the general public, Episkopos.
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R.J.: Shoot. And don't bother with all the titles. Just call me R.J.,
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okay?
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Dexter: Well, just for the record, what are your _full_ titles?
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R.J.: I'm "His Eternal Majesty, Episkopos, Pope, Pope, Praetor, Sir,
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Dr., Dr., And All-Around Nice Guy R.J. Gumby."
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Bishop: And I'm commonly known as "The Right Honorable Pope, Pope,
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Cardinal, Lumberjack Extraordinaire, Persecutor of Heretics,
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and Advisor to the Papacy, Bishop, M.D." But it's quite a bit
|
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easier to just say "Pope Pope Cardinal etc. Bishop." The full
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names are only for ceremonies, legal papers, that sort of
|
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thing.
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Dexter: How did you two get all those titles?
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R.J.: Various and sundry ways.
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Dexter: I see. Now let me ask...
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Bishop: No.
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Dexter: What?
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Bishop: Never mind. Go ahead.
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Dexter: Ah. Okay. What, exactly, is this Cabal business about?
|
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|
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R.J.: First, let me say it has NOTHING to do with Trade Wars. The
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Crunchy Frog Cabal, or the Church as it is sometimes called, is
|
||
a loose dis-organization of Discordians and Monty Python
|
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freaks, based here in Nice. We're a semi-profit organization.
|
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Dexter: And that means...?
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Bishop: If anyone out there is dumb enough to send us money, we'll keep
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it.
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Dexter: Nice policy. How did the Church get started?
|
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R.J.: Well, that's classified. But I can tell you the Church started
|
||
out in the late 80's on the Crunchy Frog BBS. It started out as
|
||
a bunch of maniacs leaving messages at each other, survived a
|
||
couple of holy wars and that sort of thing, and then evolved
|
||
into what you see around you.
|
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Dexter: When did it change from a joke into a pseudo-Discordian
|
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society?
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Bishop: [Pointing at R.J.] HE did it. He got a copy of the _Principia
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Discordia_ and went all funny.
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R.J.: Oh, be quiet. You agreed with it once I told you you could be a
|
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Pope under the new rules. Actually, though, it started a long
|
||
time ago, when I first read Shaw and Wilson's _The Illuminatus!
|
||
Trilogy_, and I wondered about all those references they made
|
||
to the Discordians and all that. Then Terry McCombs spotlighted
|
||
Discordia in his God of the Month club, and I got Chaos in a
|
||
big way. And then one day I came across a copy of _Principia_,
|
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and WHAM! Enlightenment!
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Dexter: I'm sure everyone out there is wondering about the benefits of
|
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joining the Church. What do you offer the new converts?
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||
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Bishop: Actually, not much. If we ever get around to printing them up,
|
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official membership cards will be distributed. They'll get the
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official title of "Acolyte", and the authority to preach and
|
||
proselytize and be officious at their own discretion. They'll
|
||
have the knowledge that they're in on one of the silliest
|
||
organizations ever thought up without chemical assistance.
|
||
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Dexter: Are there any important rules to follow?
|
||
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R.J.: Well, yes. Our members must constantly be aware of the evil and
|
||
insipid off-line reader menace, and fight it at every turn (if
|
||
they feel like it). They should watch Monty Python, laugh, and
|
||
Get The Joke. They should follow our strictures, lest they be
|
||
visited by The Right Heavyset Archbishop Chopper. And when we
|
||
make some strictures up, we'll be sure to write them down and
|
||
tell everyone. Other than saving one from certain bruising and
|
||
laceration, conscientious observance of Church strictures can
|
||
seriously help one's advancement in the Church. Of course,
|
||
flagrant disregard for the strictures can often do the same.
|
||
We'll let you know once we get some strictures made up.
|
||
|
||
Dexter: Are there any serious restrictions on who can or cannot join?
|
||
|
||
R.J.: Unlike SOME religions, the Church is an equal-opportunity
|
||
church. Regardless of race, creed, belief, sex, intelligence
|
||
quotient, and/or vegetarianism, we'll consider you just as
|
||
carefully as the next guy. Sometimes we just don't consider
|
||
you, we just flip a coin.
|
||
|
||
Dexter: Speaking of belief, who do you... well... worship?
|
||
|
||
R.J.: Nobody at the moment. Got any ideas? Actually, we have a few
|
||
Saints. Er, one in fact. Monty, SysOp of the Crunchy Frog, our
|
||
"base" in the telecommunications world. Quid pro quo. I mean,
|
||
to an extent, some of us are Discordian, worshipping Eris and
|
||
all that, but most of us are just along for the ride. Doesn't
|
||
matter to me.
|
||
|
||
Dexter: I see. What are some of the benefits of advancement in the
|
||
Church?
|
||
|
||
R.J.: Many. The ability to be smug at other people and dazzle them
|
||
with your huge title. Official license to <SMITE> the person(s)
|
||
of your choice. Free and unlimited use of the facilities here
|
||
in Nice. Extended conferences with Cardinal Natasha (bring your
|
||
own leather goods). Various and sundry things.
|
||
|
||
Dexter: Nice.
|
||
|
||
Bishop: No. NEECE. NEECE.
|
||
|
||
Dexter: No, I meant... [Here I noticed the manic grins on their faces,
|
||
and decided to give it up] never mind. Who are some of the
|
||
other members of the Church?
|
||
|
||
R.J.: Well, besides us, there are The Highly Recommended Pope
|
||
Cardinal Natasha, The Right Heavyset Archbishop Chopper and his
|
||
proxy, Bishop Pain, Pope Cardinal Baron Sir Rev. Rev. Dr. Dr.
|
||
Dean C., Cardinal Terry McCombs, and Monk Eric. We've got a few
|
||
bishoprics pending, and there are a few hundred faceless
|
||
acolytes around, as you probably noticed. We're still looking
|
||
for more members, though.
|
||
|
||
Dexter: I see that some of the higher-ups have rather lengthy titles.
|
||
Do the acolytes have any hope of achieving such poly-syllabic
|
||
greatness?
|
||
|
||
Bishop: Poly-syllabic greatness?!?
|
||
|
||
Dexter: Well, you know what I mean.
|
||
|
||
Bishop: Of course - I just never heard it put like that before.
|
||
|
||
R.J.: Well, everyone starts out as Acolyte, and that's nowhere near
|
||
as prestigious and fun as being a pope. Advancement in the
|
||
Church is done very randomly. Certain events and achievements
|
||
can affect one's rate of advancement, however...
|
||
|
||
Dexter: Like what?
|
||
|
||
Bishop: Let's just say that leaving dumb messages just to get "cute"
|
||
taglines is BAD.
|
||
|
||
R.J.: As for more titles, these are given out at will, by us. For
|
||
example, right now, I could make you a bishop. Why not? Dexter
|
||
Sinister is now Bishop Dexter Sinister, and should be treated
|
||
with all applicable respect and care due a Bishop. And there
|
||
was much rejoicing. Congrats.
|
||
|
||
Dexter: Hey, thanks! With all these titles, how do you keep up with
|
||
who's in charge and all that?
|
||
|
||
Bishop: A clever point system will keep everyone in order, whenever we
|
||
get around to designing it.
|
||
|
||
Dexter: Makes sense. And now, on to political matters. What is the
|
||
Church's stance on the major issues of today? Say, abortion?
|
||
|
||
R.J.: We don't care. Run with it.
|
||
|
||
Dexter: Hmm?
|
||
|
||
Bishop: Just like he said. We don't forbid certain views, like SOME
|
||
religions out there. If you want to do it, go ahead. We don't
|
||
mind.
|
||
|
||
Dexter: Very open-minded. And how does the Admiral de Coligny factor
|
||
into all of this?
|
||
|
||
R.J.: I'm sorry, who?
|
||
|
||
Dexter: [Checking list of questions again] Oh, excuse me. Wrong list.
|
||
Where would one go for more info on the Church?
|
||
|
||
Bishop: Call the Crunchy Frog BBS, (205)956-1755. Leave mail to R.J. or
|
||
me. Or leave a public message to "Timmy".
|
||
|
||
Dexter: I see. Well, that's all for me. This is Bishop Dexter Sinister,
|
||
reporting for Birmingham Telecommunications News, and signing
|
||
off.
|
||
|
||
R.J.: Hey Dexter, before you go, how about a tour of the Dungeon? I'm
|
||
sure Cardinal Natasha would like to meet you...
|
||
|
||
Dexter: Great! Let me just turn this...
|
||
|
||
<end of tape>
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Currently Untitled (fiction)
|
||
by Jeremy Lewis
|
||
|
||
Installment 1
|
||
|
||
It was almost sunrise when the old yellow car pulled into the driveway.
|
||
The car was so old that no one could remember what kind it was and
|
||
Herbert wasn't telling. All that mattered was that it drove well enough
|
||
and that Herbert liked it. Herbert was the strongest man on the Earth
|
||
and he was also quite possibly the least intelligent. His best friend
|
||
was R.G. Strangemind, who ironically happened to be the most intelligent
|
||
man on the Earth. R.G. had been the only person on his block to build a
|
||
laser pistol at age nine, in fact he had been the only person to ever
|
||
build a laser pistol.
|
||
|
||
Herbert stepped out of the car and walked up the driveway to R.G.'s
|
||
house. Herbert knocked on the door and then opened it.
|
||
|
||
"Are you ready for work?" he bellowed in his uniquely loud voice. R.G.
|
||
entered the room. R.G. was a tall, wild eyed, lanky individual whose
|
||
hair often reminded people of a cat being electrocuted. He wore a white
|
||
lab coat and he carried a piece of toast in his right hand. He was the
|
||
complete opposite of Herbert, who was the perfect image of masculine
|
||
strength.
|
||
|
||
"You are late!" screeched R.G. in his mouse-like voice, "What is your'
|
||
reason?"
|
||
|
||
Herbert spoke sheepishly and with much shuffling of his feet, "I
|
||
couldn't find my keys."
|
||
|
||
At this R.G. became angry. "And where were your' keys," he asked
|
||
impatiently.
|
||
|
||
"In the ignition," replied Herbert.
|
||
|
||
R.G. was so angry at this moment that the toaster decided to explode,
|
||
quite surprising the table upon which it had been sitting. Herbert
|
||
leapt back with the speed and agility of a tiger, avoiding a flying
|
||
piece of toast and tripping over the coffee table. R.G., however, was
|
||
hit by the deadly piece of breakfast paraphernalia and was knocked to
|
||
the floor.
|
||
|
||
"What happened," asked Herbert.
|
||
|
||
"The toaster exploded, you idiot," replied R.G. "What else would send
|
||
toast flying all over the room?" With that episode at an end and with
|
||
the extinguishing of a small table in the kitchen, the unlikely pair set
|
||
of for work.
|
||
|
||
to be continued...
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Notes from the Trenches: Stranger In An All-Too-Familiar Land
|
||
by Dean Costello
|
||
|
||
Well, I am indeed in Maryland, and what a curious place it seems to
|
||
be. Toll roads, road construction as far as the eye can see, and
|
||
expensive food prices (a hamburger at McDonalds [what I use as an
|
||
indicator of cost of living] is $.88).
|
||
|
||
I think that the basic problem is that I had a tendency to
|
||
romanticize about how nice a place it is. I forgot about the
|
||
mind-numbing tediousness of my hometown. To give you insight, Cambridge
|
||
is somewhat like Alabaster, except the river is wider and the attitude
|
||
is more redneck. Yes, there are more rednecks per capita here than
|
||
anywhere else in Alabama. Kind of curious, really, which I guess is why
|
||
I rebelled so hard against Alabama when I first got here ("Holy Christ!
|
||
It's just like Maryland, except there's no Chesapeake).
|
||
|
||
But as Mom always says, "Life's what you make of it", which just
|
||
gets me more annoyed since I am looking for something concrete, not just
|
||
a homily. But one thing about this town, homilies abound. Everything
|
||
is 'good enough for my grandfather, and its good enough for me' and
|
||
therefore I 'should just be grateful and satisfied with what I've got.'
|
||
I hear an awful lot of 'You're not that great', but mostly in asides
|
||
from Mom, but that is not for discussion here. 'Who do I think I am?'
|
||
for daring to think that there is something more to life than working
|
||
for $7.50/hour at a job I despise, getting two six-packs of Budweiser on
|
||
the weekend and getting into my '74 Duster, and circle the strip in
|
||
Cambridge all weekend. It is like mediocrity is not just a personality
|
||
quality to be appreciated, but it should be strived for. Failure is
|
||
okay, as best I can figure, but don't rub others' noses in it.
|
||
|
||
Success is only proper based on local mores, which in this case
|
||
usually means via land raping or flat-out exploitation of workers. A
|
||
kind of social stratus based on the number of citations from EPA that
|
||
your corporation has garnered, as it were. And the local
|
||
'intelligentsia' wonders why the best of the graduation classes get the
|
||
hell out of Dodge the day after commencement exercises at the football
|
||
field. I was sitting down the other day trying to figure out who was
|
||
still here and who was gone. Of the top 10% of my class, or so, there
|
||
are only 3 of us left, and that is including me.
|
||
|
||
I want to hit the mediocrity thing a little harder, here. There is
|
||
one girl in my class, Alpha (not here real name, obviously). Fairly
|
||
intelligent, ranked about 10th out of the 256 or so that graduated with
|
||
my class. One month after graduation, I saw her at the local bowling
|
||
alley. She had fallen in with a group I would describe as lowlifes. I
|
||
spoke with Alpha, albeit briefly under the jealous eye of the chief
|
||
lowlife who apparently assumed that I wanted to rustle the chief filly
|
||
of his herd and move her into my corral, and I discovered that she had
|
||
lost most of her upper-level thought processes, along with a better part
|
||
of her spoken grammatical ability. In other words, Alpha, a promising
|
||
female, had done what I have seen all too often in females--she is
|
||
playing stupid for the benefit of a very stupid male (trust me on this,
|
||
I knew the guy from high school). The thing that bothers me is that it
|
||
isn't just nodded at here in Dorchester County, the way it is in many
|
||
areas, but it is both expected by the female and encouraged by the
|
||
female's family. Another girl, whom I shall call Beta, was probably the
|
||
single most intelligent female I have ever met. When we spoke together,
|
||
when I was thinking as hard and fast as I could, I could tell that her
|
||
mind was only a little bit occupied by the discussion, and the rest of
|
||
her brain was being used for solving global hunger, world peace, and
|
||
curing cancer; in general, while smoke was coming out of my ears, her
|
||
brain was just barely idling. A scary person to speak with. Kind of
|
||
like Brett Thorn, except she really did know all the answers and didn't
|
||
need the superior smile, or a Chris Mohney without the smartass
|
||
(Finally, the local tie-in is finished). Anyway, her boyfriend told
|
||
her one night that they should have sex so that she would become
|
||
pregnant and then she would have to marry him. And the shocking thing
|
||
was that she wasn't the least bit offended at being considered chattel.
|
||
What her boyfriend did was acceptable behavior. It is apparently
|
||
appropriate for the area males to act like a bunch of Bedouins. I
|
||
haven't heard from Alpha for a while, I think that she has a couple of
|
||
kids, and her husband was laid off from his factory job when it closed
|
||
in 1985. Beta was accepted into Cornell in the Biology department, got
|
||
stomped badly, switched over to Computer Science, and that was the last
|
||
I have heard.
|
||
|
||
Speaking in an unorthodox manner is also frowned upon. You know
|
||
the old greeting drill, "Hello", "Hello", "How are you?", "Fine"; that
|
||
everyone goes through? I try to switch it up a little with "Hey"
|
||
instead of the second hello, and "A tad tired, I reckon" instead of the
|
||
'fine'. I get looked at so strangely. "Who do you think you are?" is
|
||
the usual expression I get. Also, I must concede a point. A bunch of
|
||
you have always fallen back on the old saw, "Southerners are nicer".
|
||
Well, kind of nicer, in a superficial way, since I have noticed that you
|
||
(plural) are as much a bunch of treacherous back stabbing bastards as
|
||
anyone. There are some things to be said for the hovering that
|
||
salespeople do when you enter their store. Here, few people hold doors,
|
||
reply to random "Hey"s on the street, say "How are you?" at the
|
||
supermarket checkout; you know, that kind of thing. Whether or not that
|
||
is good I'm not sure. It is different.
|
||
|
||
Now don't get too carried away with the "Ah-ha! Dean admits the
|
||
South is better than the North!" I always deify a region after I leave
|
||
it. I assume that if I do come back for any length of time, I would
|
||
start to remember the neighbors next door, or the crappy drivers,
|
||
tornadoes, and the abandoned cars pretty quickly. I imagine that if I
|
||
were to go back to Pennsylvania for any length of time, I would also
|
||
start remembering that no beer is served on Sundays, the lack of
|
||
restaurants, the surly townsfolk, and the really bad roads. It is all a
|
||
matter of perception, I would assume. For some reason, hindsight and
|
||
reminiscences always color something to be much better than it actually
|
||
was. Remember how big your parent's house was? Or the back yard? Or
|
||
the local theater? Perception changes over time, as it will with
|
||
everyone.
|
||
|
||
Soon, Birmingham will enter with South Jersey and Central
|
||
Pennsylvania as being the Best Places that I have ever lived, and
|
||
eventually, if and when I ever get a real job, Maryland will again be
|
||
placed in my pantheon of previous residences as the Land of Milk and
|
||
Honey. But for the time being, it is pretty much as William Donald
|
||
Shaffer, our Governor, said: "The Eastern Shore is a shithouse."
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
**** SURVEY SUGGESTIONS ****
|
||
|
||
|
||
Or, "Who Asked You Anyway? (*I* DID, bwahahahahaha)"
|
||
|
||
an official address of suggestions offered
|
||
for the next Unofficial Birmingham BBS Survey
|
||
---------- ---------- ---------- ----------
|
||
|
||
by Scott Hollifield
|
||
|
||
|
||
If you've followed the evolution of the infamous BBS Survey since its
|
||
genesis, you have a pretty good handle on how it got to be where it is
|
||
now, following a path of intrigue and controversy since the first issue
|
||
of BTN, in 1988. The first and most notorious of the surveys was run on
|
||
ONE board in town, Channel 8250, and the results stirred up so much dust
|
||
that I publicly asked for suggestions that I could use for the next one.
|
||
|
||
Only I made a mistake. I did it in a message base. Where people could
|
||
REPLY to me, in 50-line messages. And they did. And EVERYONE had their
|
||
own ideas. People who were on Channel 8250 during this time will
|
||
remember the ensuing discussion well; it was a debate that lasted
|
||
several months and made me doubt my ultimate purposes more than once.
|
||
|
||
Overwhelmed and somewhat intimidated by all this hubbub, I took the
|
||
other extreme the next year: I asked for NO one's opinion, and created
|
||
the survey by myself. The result netted about 400 voters and is what
|
||
you read in BTN last month. Actually, I misspeak myself somewhat; there
|
||
WAS a question last year that asked for suggestions, but few people took
|
||
the time to offer substantial suggestions.
|
||
|
||
This year was a bit different. Over half of the participants said
|
||
SOMETHING in response to that last question in the survey, and much of
|
||
it was insightful thoughtful critique. However, rather than stir up
|
||
another message base debate, I decided to do this article.
|
||
|
||
What I'm doing here is recapping the most popular or most relevant
|
||
suggestions offered in response to this year's question #30: "Please
|
||
mention any suggestions you might have that would improve this survey."
|
||
I'm going to paraphrase or sum up each suggestion, then provide my own
|
||
commentary - whether or not I think it's a good one, why I will or won't
|
||
use it, etc.
|
||
|
||
Here we go!
|
||
|
||
---------
|
||
|
||
** Ask what users would like to see more/less of on a BBS.
|
||
|
||
This is quite a good idea and will probably make it into the next
|
||
questionnaire in some form. Such a question might help sysops determine
|
||
how to improve their own BBSs, instead of simply being told that their
|
||
board isn't adequate or whatever. I also re-instate the "Why?"
|
||
questions from last year.
|
||
|
||
** Create a way for people to answer the questionnaire offline.
|
||
|
||
This is something a couple of people mentioned last year. It seems that
|
||
a good many people have difficulty coming up with on-the-spot answers
|
||
and would really like the time to think some up. That's fine with me.
|
||
I sort of tried to initiate this idea on The Connection this year but
|
||
couldn't because of technical problems on my end. Next year, I will
|
||
provide a list of the questions in downloadable form, perhaps free of
|
||
transfer ratio obligation, if the sysops are willing; I might see about
|
||
getting such a list in BTN before the surveying starts. That way,
|
||
anyone who wants to can compose a list of numbered answers at their own
|
||
leisure and mail them to me on one of the BBSs.
|
||
|
||
** Why the questions on television, music, etc.??
|
||
|
||
Some voters seemed rather frustrated that I had dared to include
|
||
questions in the questionnaire that were not BBS-related. The reasoning
|
||
for this is rather simple.. I just thought that after answering a slew
|
||
of BBS questions, users might enjoy answering a question or two that had
|
||
nothing to do with computers or modems. Since so many people had
|
||
something to say about this, I will consider paring this aspect of the
|
||
survey down a bit next time.
|
||
|
||
** The questionnaire is too long!
|
||
|
||
Tough beans. One user suggested that I warn people how long it's going
|
||
to be, which I may well do.
|
||
|
||
** The questionnaire is too short!
|
||
|
||
Aahhhhh...
|
||
|
||
** Leave out "least favorite" questions.
|
||
|
||
This is probably the most controversial aspect of the survey. People are
|
||
sometimes sensitive to being criticized by people they don't even know,
|
||
and some sysops don't like the idea of having their boards shot down by
|
||
faceless voters who don't realize all the work and time that's been put
|
||
into running a BBS. However, my advice to these people is: get thicker
|
||
skins. I could propose some argument in defense of these questions,
|
||
something to the effect that sysops and users-who-post-a-lot lose a bit
|
||
of their right not to be talked about while gaining a bit of celebrity
|
||
status but I won't bother. Lots of people enjoyed these questions too.
|
||
It's fine if you don't want to answer them, lots of people didn't. But
|
||
keep in mind that the results of this survey are meant in the most
|
||
INsincere context as possible, and shouldn't be taken seriously. Have
|
||
fun with it.
|
||
|
||
** Ask for a third-favorite BBS and sysop.
|
||
|
||
I did this last year; not enough people responded to make it worth
|
||
tallying.
|
||
|
||
** Ask about favorite (non-terminal) software.
|
||
|
||
I'm not interested in knowing what your favorite game/
|
||
spreadsheet/desktop/etc. is. The survey is geared toward questions
|
||
concerning the local BBS scene, and so it will remain.
|
||
|
||
** Make it a secret ballot.
|
||
|
||
It already is as secret as I can get it. The only people who see the
|
||
names of the voters are myself and whomever I choose to help compile the
|
||
results (this year, Dean Costello). Complete anonymity tends to
|
||
encourage cheating, which was attempted this year.
|
||
|
||
** Fix the survey so that long distance callers can take part.
|
||
|
||
The name of the game is: Unofficial BIRMINGHAM BBS Poll. Long distance
|
||
users are enough of a minority that their votes for out-of-town BBSs,
|
||
sysops, etc. don't sway the curve anyway. I did deal with long distance
|
||
voters a bit differently this year, however. Up until now, I've
|
||
eliminated all votes cast by long distance callers. However, there has
|
||
since arisen a small number of LD callers who, in finding only boredom
|
||
among their own local scene, visit the rich Birmingham BBS community
|
||
more often than their own. If a person, LD or not, appears to have a
|
||
healthy interest in the Birmingham scene (i.e. if s/he responds to
|
||
enough questions with B'ham answers), then I count their votes. This is
|
||
done at my discretion.
|
||
|
||
** Add color.
|
||
** Put the options in a window.
|
||
** Mouse support.
|
||
|
||
These are all technical suggestions that are impossible for me to
|
||
implement. I am bound by the limits of the board. Oh, well, I guess I
|
||
COULD put in color if I really wanted to, but I have a monochrome
|
||
monitor - so why should I suffer?
|
||
|
||
** Disregard the stupid people.
|
||
|
||
Will do. Anyone who henceforth claims to be stupid can have their votes
|
||
discounted if they so wish.
|
||
|
||
** Make gender a feature of the results.
|
||
|
||
That sounds like it might be interesting, especially since Birmingham
|
||
has more female users than ever before. It might be possible for me to
|
||
count the males and female based on their names, but some names are
|
||
ambiguous. This may pop up next year as a question.
|
||
|
||
** Give a listing of the Birmingham BBSs.
|
||
|
||
Such a list is available in BTN every month.
|
||
|
||
** Make the questions multiple choice.
|
||
|
||
There are too many boards, sysops, and users in this town for this to be
|
||
a feasible option.
|
||
|
||
** Make the questions funnier.
|
||
|
||
Hmmm. This sounds like a Crunchy Frog vote. Talk to Monty about
|
||
putting in some more script questionnaires.
|
||
|
||
** Leave Dean out of the compilation process.
|
||
|
||
At the time, Dean was available. I used him and his apartment, and
|
||
that's all there is to it. You can get a lot of good food delivered to
|
||
you if you live in Southside, which I found out.
|
||
|
||
** Ask people's opinions about pay-BBSs.
|
||
|
||
We already know all there is to know about this old topic. No one likes
|
||
to pay for BBS use, but sysops do need the money.
|
||
|
||
** More technical questions.
|
||
|
||
I don't know any.
|
||
|
||
** Questions of an immoral nature.
|
||
|
||
I don't know any.
|
||
|
||
** Ask for more than one answer for "favorite BBS, sysop", etc.
|
||
|
||
That would kind of defeat the purpose, wouldn't it? As a compromise, I
|
||
did ask for second-favorite, which counts half as much as "favorite".
|
||
It seemed to work okay.
|
||
|
||
---------
|
||
|
||
There, that will do it for this year. If I didn't mention your
|
||
suggestion, then you were the only one to offer it *and* I didn't
|
||
think it was worth addressing. Probably.
|
||
|
||
I hope to get a somewhat early jump on the survey this time, so that I
|
||
can get all my procrastinating over with before the end of the year.
|
||
Look for the Fourth Annual Unofficial Birmingham BBS Poll coming to a
|
||
bulletin board near you sometime this fall.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
WHY I COMPUTE
|
||
by Ricky Eanes
|
||
|
||
Why do I compute? What a question. Well, there are many reasons.
|
||
|
||
First of all, I compute for simple fun. I enjoy everything behind
|
||
BBSing very much. I love being able to get free or shareware games,
|
||
playing on-line games, and most of all, communicating with people via
|
||
chatting or with messages. I am shy in real life, but in BBSing I can
|
||
be a whole different person since no one really knows who I am.
|
||
|
||
As many of you know, I am 13, and this does make it kind of difficult.
|
||
Some people refuse to have anything to do with me just because I'm a
|
||
kid. I'm not an adult, and I'm glad I'm not. That always kind of makes
|
||
me different from all the other users. Anyway, messages are probably my
|
||
favorite part of BBSing. I love echoes especially. Particularly
|
||
"teens" conferences. Although most of the teens on there are more like
|
||
18 or 19, there are a few people my age, and it is fun to chat with
|
||
them.
|
||
|
||
Files are a very important part of the reason why I compute. I now have
|
||
many games that I can play anytime I want. The shareware concept is
|
||
great, because I have had several experiences with buying software that
|
||
I don't like and then being stuck with it.
|
||
|
||
I used to be a doors freak, but I have chilled a little in this area. I
|
||
still like playing chess and card sharks, but I never have really gotten
|
||
into the in-depth doors.
|
||
|
||
Computing has changed me, but not necessarily for the better. I have
|
||
become a "compu-hermit". I am trying to ease off a bit, but I don't
|
||
know if I can. Anyway, here are some noticeable differences. These show
|
||
what was BEFORE I got into computers.
|
||
|
||
1. Vulcan was a statue.
|
||
|
||
2. Crunchy frog was something dad's always say they stepped on.
|
||
|
||
3. Alter-Ego was that guy named Clark that came out of me. I still
|
||
don't know who he was.
|
||
|
||
4. Arkham Asylum was where the Joker was being held (and he still
|
||
is).
|
||
|
||
5. The bus system was something that maids took to work.
|
||
|
||
6. Camelot was something from the Middle Ages.
|
||
|
||
7. A monitor was someone who tattles kids who talk.
|
||
|
||
8. A script was something that actors forgot.
|
||
|
||
9. A file was a piece of cardboard kept in a big metal case.
|
||
|
||
10.A door was something that kept your mom out of your room.
|
||
|
||
11.I had my sanity.
|
||
|
||
12.A conference was something you slept through at work.
|
||
|
||
13.Board was what I was before I got my computer (hehehehe).
|
||
|
||
14.A disk drive was a floppy with wheels.
|
||
|
||
15.A phone line was what you used for your voice phone.
|
||
|
||
16.A dip switch was a button on Dean's head.
|
||
|
||
17.Monk was someone who lived and worked at a monastery.
|
||
|
||
18.Cardinal was a bird.
|
||
|
||
19.Dean was a priest.
|
||
|
||
Well, I guess now I'm supposed to tell you about when I first got my
|
||
computer and got into BBSing. Well, I first really wanted a computer
|
||
after having a computer class in school. We used Radio Shack Color
|
||
Computer 2's or something like that, and I thought they could really
|
||
cook. All they had was BASIC, and that's mainly what we did. Anyway, we
|
||
finally did get a computer in 1989. When my dad bought a modem, mouse,
|
||
and printer with it, I thought this was just a waste of money. I never
|
||
thought I'd ever actually find a use for the modem.
|
||
|
||
I obviously did. One of my friends, Brent Elliott, had somehow gotten
|
||
his hands on a list of some local boards. One day when I was over at
|
||
his house, I copied down the numbers for Crunchy Frog and Duck Pond. As
|
||
far as I knew, these were the only boards that existed. I got kind of
|
||
active on Duck Pond, but Crunchy Frog was too weird for me at the time.
|
||
|
||
Those were my only two boards for a long time. Finally, someone else at
|
||
school gave me the number for the Matrix. Wow, now I called three
|
||
boards. One day, my mom saw an article in the newspaper about
|
||
tele-computing. It gave a few more numbers. From one of those boards,
|
||
I got the BTN list. I freaked when I saw all the boards there were. I
|
||
just couldn't believe that all these people would go to all the trouble
|
||
just for a hobby.
|
||
|
||
During all of this, I did all my board calling with Bitcom, some stupid
|
||
program that came with my modem. The ANSI driver barely worked, and the
|
||
program couldn't do anything. I was stuck with Xmodem, and so I didn't
|
||
download that many files. One day I splurged and got DSZ, and my life
|
||
was forever changed.
|
||
|
||
Before I bore you completely (it may be too late), I will just say that
|
||
I eventually got Ez-Reader and got hooked. That was when I became
|
||
active in the message bases. Not too long ago I finally got Telix and
|
||
love it.
|
||
|
||
Nowadays, I will download any file that I want. Transfer time means
|
||
little or nothing to me. I am hooked on BBSes.
|
||
|
||
I have changed in many ways since I started computing. I have made new
|
||
friends on boards (well, a few, maybe). I actually have something to
|
||
talk about at school with my friends. There are many computer freaks at
|
||
school, but most of them don't have modems. The ones that do have them
|
||
call my private board a lot and we write messages and all. Since they
|
||
told me too, and kind of helped me with this article, there names are:
|
||
Michael Davidson, Brent Elliott, and Bill Flanders. If you meet any of
|
||
these creatures on local boards be as mean a possible to them and tell
|
||
them I sent ya.
|
||
|
||
Overall, I guess the reason that I compute is mainly to communicate with
|
||
other people, without having to leave my house. I can be as shy or as
|
||
bold as I want, and people have no way of knowing how old I am or what
|
||
job I have (especially since I don't have one).
|
||
|
||
If you want to make comments to me, "Go ahead. Make my day". All I have
|
||
to say is, "At least I finally got to write an article for BTN!"
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
The following was provided to me by Mark Shafer, a
|
||
strange New York banker who, for some reason,
|
||
frequents the Crunchy Frog. It is reminiscent of an
|
||
article Ricky Morgan wrote a few months back and you
|
||
will find it entertaining. Unfortunately, the
|
||
author's name has been lost to the ages. MM
|
||
|
||
YOU NEED HELP!
|
||
|
||
"Did you know that last months damn phone bill was $450?" scolded Bill
|
||
in his harshest, my-wife-the-child voice. That's more than TWICE THE
|
||
MONTHLY PAYMENTS YOU MAKE FOR THAT F***ING COMPUTER!" he continued as he
|
||
escalated to screaming. "I confess! I confess" his wife sobbed. "I'm
|
||
just an on-line junkie - I'm addicted to my modem! I guess I'll have to
|
||
join Modems Anonymous before I owe my soul to AT&T".
|
||
|
||
As a counselor for Modems Anonymous, I hear numerous variations of the
|
||
preceding story every day. That insidious disease, modem fever, is
|
||
exacting a tragically large toll from the cream of our society's
|
||
computer users. Modem-mania is sweeping through the very foundations of
|
||
our country and there seems to be no stopping it. This disease (yes, it
|
||
is a social disease of almost epidemic proportions) is becoming such a
|
||
calamity that soon there's even going to be a soap opera about on-line
|
||
addiction called "As The Modem Turns."
|
||
|
||
If you don't already own one of those evil instruments called a modem,
|
||
TAKE WARNING! Don't even think about buying one. Modem fever sets in
|
||
very quietly and insidiously. It sneaks up on you and then grabs you by
|
||
the wallet, checkbook or, heaven forbid, credit cards.
|
||
|
||
Once you own a modem, you enter this addictive trap by "dialing up" a
|
||
friend who also has a modem. For some strange reason, typing messages to
|
||
each other fascinates you, even though communicating this way is less
|
||
than 10% of the speed you can achieve speaking the same words over a
|
||
telephone. Then your modem buddy (friend is too good a term) sews
|
||
another seed on the road to on-line addiction. He gives you the number
|
||
of a local Bulletin Board Service. Once you get the BBS phone number,
|
||
you've taken the first fatal step in the journey that can only end in
|
||
on-line addiction.
|
||
|
||
After you take that step by dialing up the BBS your modem buddy told you
|
||
about, you find that it's very easy to "log on." This weird form of
|
||
conversation with an unattended computer is strangely exciting, much
|
||
more than you are on-line with your modem buddy.
|
||
|
||
The initial bulletins scroll by and inform you about the board, but you
|
||
are too "up" to comprehend most of it. Then you read some of the
|
||
messages in the message section and maybe, in a tentative manner, you
|
||
enter one or two of your own. That's fun, but the excitement starts to
|
||
wear off; you're calming down. Thinking that it might be worthwhile to
|
||
go back and re-read the log-on bulletins, you return to the main BBS
|
||
menu.
|
||
|
||
THEN IT HAPPENS... The BBS provides the bait that entices you all the
|
||
way into the fiery hell of modem addiction. As you look at the BBS main
|
||
menu to learn how to return to the log-on bulletins, you find an item
|
||
called FILES. By asking the BBS for FILES, you thread the bait onto the
|
||
hook of corruption; the FILES submenu sets the hook. You leap into the
|
||
air with the sheer joy of flight when all those public domain program
|
||
titles and descriptions scroll by. And they are all FREE!!! All you have
|
||
to do is tell the bulletin board to transmit them to you. You download
|
||
your first program and you're landed! In the creel, cleaned and ready
|
||
for the cooking fires. In just 55 minutes after you've logged on to the
|
||
board, you've downloaded 6 programs, one of them being John Friel's
|
||
Qmodem SST, version 4.1 (truly an instrument of the devil.)
|
||
|
||
BBSLIST, which is also among the files you downloaded, contains a list
|
||
of a great number of bulletin boards throughout the country. (There is
|
||
evil all around us, constantly tempting us!) You print this list and
|
||
find about 600 BBS phone numbers. (Have mercy on our souls!)
|
||
|
||
You try the number again and it's busy. You try again - still busy. You
|
||
think "Hey, there's one that specializes in messaging. Maybe I'll try
|
||
it. It's in Mt Vernon, but its after 9:PM and the phone rates have
|
||
changed. It wont be too expensive."
|
||
|
||
The board answers. After 45 minutes you've read 100 new messages. Then
|
||
you call another board - only this one is completely across the country
|
||
from New York, in California. And so it goes on into the night. And the
|
||
next night.. And the next.. And the next..
|
||
|
||
Some days it gets to you. You begin to feel the dirtiness of modem
|
||
addiction, particularly when your mate makes you feel like a child by
|
||
berating you for those astronomical phone bills - if he/she hasn't
|
||
divorced you by then. Every night you sit down before your IBM PC to do
|
||
some work and instead you dial up another BBS, If that one is busy, you
|
||
call another and another and another until you connect. Then you feel
|
||
ok.. almost high. When you hang up, you still can't work so you call
|
||
another BBS.
|
||
|
||
Your downfall as an on-line addict is just another one of this society's
|
||
terrible tragedies, such as polygamy or the compulsion to circle numbers
|
||
on computer magazine "bingo cards." Eventually your whole social life
|
||
relies upon only the messages you find on electronic bulletin boards;
|
||
your only happiness is in the programs you've downloaded. (You never try
|
||
any of them, you only collect them.)
|
||
|
||
Hope exists, however. We, the dedicated but underpaid staff of Modem
|
||
Anonymous, have done extensive research to find a cure for modem mania,
|
||
which has been ruining thousands of lives. And we have succeeded in our
|
||
quest. The cure is really quite simple, yet effective:
|
||
|
||
Set up your own remote bulletin board service. Then all the other modem
|
||
addicts will phone you, and their mates can nag at them about $450 phone
|
||
bills. And you can find peace at last.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Review: Wing Commander
|
||
by Colby Gibson
|
||
|
||
First off, I want to say if you have an XT and you are considering
|
||
buying this game, DON'T.
|
||
|
||
A little bit of history:
|
||
From what I have learned, in the future, the Humans developed FTL
|
||
(faster than light) technology. Jumping outward into the galaxy, they
|
||
discovered an interesting race of beings that are known as the Kilrathi.
|
||
Cat-featured, these kitties didn't like the human race very much. They
|
||
decided to eradicate us. This sparked that war between the Kilrathi and
|
||
the Confederation.
|
||
|
||
At the outset, you are a 2nd. Lieutenant aboard the TCS Tiger's Claw, a
|
||
VERY large and powerful Confederation Fighter carrier.
|
||
|
||
Your mission is to carry out the mission instructions that Halycon gives
|
||
you, and destroy as many Kilrathi fighters as possible. YOU decide if
|
||
the Confederation wins the war. If you do excellent, the Confederation
|
||
does excellent. If you screw up and get the hell beat out of you,
|
||
likewise to the Confederation.
|
||
|
||
This game is wonderful. Full 256 color support, oriented more toward the
|
||
FAST computers around. A 286 and above is recommended to play this game.
|
||
You can use a Joystick or the keyboard, the keyboard probably being the
|
||
best choice. The game has EXCELLENT sound card support, Adlib and
|
||
SoundBlaster included.
|
||
|
||
You will fly your missions in several different types of fighters. There
|
||
are four. Here they are and a rundown of the schematics.
|
||
|
||
|
||
Hornet: This is a small, fast little fighter. It is armed with two Laser
|
||
Cannons, 2 Dart DF missiles, and one Javelin lockon missile. The
|
||
hornet's shields are weak, and armor is weak, but the Hornet, in
|
||
the hands of a master, can wreck havok with even the Jalthi of
|
||
the Kilrathi.
|
||
|
||
Scimitar: This fighter, well to put it quite frankly, sucks to hell. It
|
||
is, however, armed with two Mass Drivers. They are projectile
|
||
launchers that have greater range than the Lasers and do more
|
||
damage. They have 2 Dart DF missiles and 3 Javelin lockon
|
||
missiles. It is extremely slow and hard to maneuver.
|
||
|
||
Raptor: This is my personal favorite. It is just about equal in speed to
|
||
the Hornet, but has MUCH stronger shields and armor. It is armed
|
||
with two Mass Drivers and Two Neutron Guns ( these weapons do
|
||
great amounts of damage but only at short range.) It has a Pilum
|
||
FF (Friend or Foe) missile, Porcupine ( a Kilrathi one your
|
||
tail? Let it go, no more kitty.) some Spiculum IR missiles, and
|
||
an array of other missiles.
|
||
|
||
Rapier: This is the most defensively effective vessel. It is armed with
|
||
two Lasers and Two Neutron guns, 2 Pilum FF, a Spiculum, and two
|
||
Dart DFs. It is extremely fast, and has the most powerful
|
||
shields of any fighter.
|
||
|
||
|
||
To more understand the Kilrathi arsenal, here are their fighters.
|
||
|
||
Dralthi: This is a small, circular vessel. It is quick, but will usually
|
||
pull up or down to shake you. A missile will generally destroy
|
||
it. It has two lasers.
|
||
|
||
Salthi: It is an EXTREMELY quick and agile fighter, armed with two
|
||
lasers also.
|
||
|
||
Krant: This vessel can take a beating, which is also armed with two
|
||
lasers. Not as maneuverable as the Dralthi, but can kick your
|
||
rear if you don't get behind him.
|
||
|
||
Gratha: A slow, but very powerful and heavily armored and shielded
|
||
workhorse. They are armed with two Mass Drivers and Two lasers.
|
||
It will take a GREAT amount of damage before buying the farm.
|
||
|
||
Jalthi: The GREATEST threat to you if you are heading at it head-on. It
|
||
is armed with three lasers and three Neutron guns. Slow,
|
||
sluggish, and not very agile, it will murder you if you don't
|
||
get behind it.
|
||
|
||
|
||
As a pilot, at first, you WILL stink. Badly. But, as you get better and
|
||
better at it, you can fly sole missions against squads of 7 or 8 jalthi
|
||
with a Scimitar and come out alive.
|
||
|
||
You start off in a Hornet. You will be promoted, up to a Scimitar and
|
||
above as you do good. If you don't do well, you'll get demoted.
|
||
|
||
You will be asked to perform a variety of missions. Here is a great deal
|
||
of them.
|
||
|
||
Escort: You will probably either escort a Drayman to its Jump point, or
|
||
go to the Jump point, get the 'sport, and bring it back to the
|
||
Tiger's Claw.
|
||
|
||
Patrol: Just fly around to different nav points, and do dogfights.
|
||
|
||
Pick off: You'll go out and destroy either Dorkir/Lumbari transports or
|
||
Ralari/Fralthi destroyers.
|
||
|
||
Defend: Fighters come at the Tiger's Claw. You must destroy them.
|
||
|
||
Sweep: Precede the Tiger's claw and sweep a path clear of Kilrathi
|
||
fighters.
|
||
|
||
|
||
After you play the game for a while, you will learn certain
|
||
technicalities that will happen. If Halycon says that there MIGHT be a
|
||
Fralthi out there, there WILL be and you had better toast it. He might
|
||
say that you can only use missiles to destroy a star post. Garbage. Use
|
||
ship's guns and destroy it. Missiles do help, however.
|
||
|
||
You will usually be with a Wingman. They just fly around and, if they
|
||
get lucky, destroy 1 or 2 Kilrathi fighters in a mission. I usually
|
||
shoot all the fighters where they don't get any kills. The best Wingman
|
||
is IceMan. He is good.
|
||
|
||
Here's a list of other Wingmen\Wingwomen.
|
||
|
||
Spirit Knight
|
||
Angel Maniac (Maniac may disobey your orders)
|
||
Paladin Iceman
|
||
Bossman Hunter
|
||
|
||
You will probably fly with most of them. Get to know them.
|
||
|
||
|
||
Here's a list of Capital ships.
|
||
|
||
Confederation: Tiger's Claw
|
||
Corvette
|
||
Exeter (a big destroyer.)
|
||
Drayman (A large transport)
|
||
|
||
Kilrathi: Ralari ( A small destroyer)
|
||
Fralthi ( A LARGE destroyer)
|
||
Lumbari (A transport)
|
||
Dorkir (A transport)
|
||
Sivar (A laser dreadnought. If you don't
|
||
yet have the Secret Missions disk, don't
|
||
worry. You won't see it.)
|
||
|
||
|
||
While you are flying, there are several pointers that I will give, then
|
||
I'll end this article.
|
||
|
||
Pointer one: When your shields get hit, your guns recharge MUCH slower.
|
||
Use your afterburners to get away from trouble to build
|
||
them back up.)
|
||
|
||
Pointer Two: NEVER, EVER use your afterburners in an Asteroid field or
|
||
Mine Field. You'll hit one and blow up.
|
||
|
||
Pointer three: Remember, the best way to fight an enemy fighter is to
|
||
hit it from behind. Don't charge it from front unless it
|
||
is a Dralthi or Krant and you are in a Raptor.
|
||
|
||
Pointer Four: You can use the Nav Computer to skip asteroid belts and
|
||
other things to get to the important stuff.
|
||
|
||
Pointer Five: USE YOUR INSTRUMENTS! If you don't, you'll be breathing
|
||
vacuum.
|
||
|
||
Origin systems did a GREAT JOB on this game. Remember that Wing
|
||
Commander II: The Kilrathi Revenge is due out in June. Be on the lookout
|
||
for it. Later.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Simearth: The Living Planet
|
||
A review by Jeff Hollingsworth
|
||
|
||
Simearth is a simulator for the evolution of a planet. You control all
|
||
aspects of atmosphere, geosphere, and biosphere, and civilization, if
|
||
any occurs. You can cause natural disasters to alter the shape and life
|
||
of your planet. You can terraform at will and cover the surface of your
|
||
planet as you wish. Your goal in this simulator is to take the planet
|
||
you choose through a complete life cycle for its inhabitants. You do
|
||
not have to start at the beginning but it is more of a challenge. In
|
||
summary, you can play creator.
|
||
|
||
Simearth comes with a full reference manual that describes the loading
|
||
of the game, as well as aspects of play. It goes into detail of each
|
||
category and/or option that is available in the game. In addition to
|
||
the user's manual, there is a section on earth science so one can learn
|
||
as well as enjoy while learning Simearth. Don't be frightened by the
|
||
large and imposing looking manual. It is actually very easy to read and
|
||
understand. The writers of this book did an excellent job of indexing
|
||
and arranging the information needed to understand and use this complex
|
||
simulator. For those of you who do not like to read manuals, the
|
||
simulator does offer online help, tutorial, and glossary.
|
||
|
||
It just doesn't get much easier than Simearth when it comes to
|
||
installing it on your system. Your master disk can be run from either
|
||
A: or B: drives. Type INSTALL and you will be walked through the
|
||
procedure in English. You are given options for video mode, audio, and
|
||
hard drive selection. You will require a hard drive and an EGA or VGA
|
||
graphics adapter. You may optionally use your PC speaker, Adlib,
|
||
Soundblaster, or other enhanced sound cards for audio. A mouse is also
|
||
optional.
|
||
|
||
The interface for Simearth will accept input from either the keyboard or
|
||
a mouse. The screen is very flexible for the user. The top line of the
|
||
screen is set aside for pull-down menus that offer the options for play.
|
||
Many options open windows, some of which are user adjustable as to size.
|
||
In addition, you can have multiple windows open at once and may move
|
||
them around on the screen to wherever suits you. The screen interface
|
||
is quite similar to Microsoft Windows in look but is quite fast, at
|
||
least on my 386SX. You scroll around your world by moving the mouse to
|
||
the edge of the screen in whatever direction you wish to travel, or by
|
||
viewing a globe or map window and moving an editing block to the section
|
||
of the planet you wish to view.
|
||
|
||
Thanks to the interface, I was able to adjust to its methods very
|
||
quickly and get on with enjoying the simulator. The online tutorial and
|
||
glossary enhanced my learning curve leading me onto more advanced
|
||
challenges in the planet maintenance business. When I ran into trouble,
|
||
the online help precluded my ever having to go back to my manual. As a
|
||
result, I haven't had to spend any significant amount of time away from
|
||
the game because of difficulties understanding some aspect of it.
|
||
|
||
Simearth is well worth the price and has afforded me many hours of
|
||
entertainment and insight into the ways the earth works. I intend to
|
||
spend many more hours enhancing my skills and highly recommend it to
|
||
anyone who is interested in the way the world and its many inhabitants
|
||
interact with each other. Be warned though, the game is time consuming
|
||
because there are so many details to be reckoned with, and it is at
|
||
least mildly addictive. I suggest to the beginner that you at least
|
||
thumb through the manual and run through the tutorial's walk-through.
|
||
You will be rewarded with useful information and avoid many costly
|
||
mistakes in your early play by following this advice. As for video
|
||
mode, if you have VGA, I suggest that you use 640x480x16 as it will be
|
||
fast to update and it is quite attractive enough for our purposes. I do
|
||
suggest you use a mouse as it makes moving through the windows much
|
||
easier and faster.
|
||
|
||
Like many games on the market, Simearth does require some real estate on
|
||
the ole hard drive. It requires about 1 megabyte of hard drive space
|
||
and runs best with 640K of memory.
|
||
|
||
Simearth by Maxis, copyright 1990...$50 approx.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
What is an ECHO or how does my message get from board to board.
|
||
By Fred Hambrecht Sysop Abject Poverty (680-9680)
|
||
|
||
Many of the new users are sometimes confused, they post a message on a
|
||
board and later log on to another to see the same message. I recently
|
||
had a user who was convinced he had stepped into the twilight zone. He
|
||
had posted a message on my board, I answered and he later logged into
|
||
the Matrix and saw the answer. He knew his password and the phone number
|
||
were different, but here was the answer. "How did this happen", he
|
||
asked.
|
||
|
||
I guess the place to start is with a little history of "networking" in
|
||
the Birmingham area. Here is a quote from Ed O'Neill:
|
||
|
||
|
||
"Way back in 1988, before the wide spread
|
||
proliferation of echo mail software, I was at a
|
||
meeting of local SysOps when the topic turned to
|
||
setting up a conference on one of our boards where
|
||
we could call in and share a forum. I, almost
|
||
casually, remarked that I could write a program to
|
||
send mail back and forth between our individual
|
||
systems and totally automate the transfer so our
|
||
messages would be available each morning without
|
||
having to call out to a common board."
|
||
|
||
Ed O'Neill
|
||
in his EZNet Documentation
|
||
|
||
Thus was born EZNet, I remember the first time I say it, I logged on to
|
||
Ice Princess's now defunct board and saw messages from 8250, "Wow! this
|
||
is neat!" While this article will concern itself with only the EZNet
|
||
conference, EZNet was actually a group of conferences. In the early days
|
||
each board or "NODE" of Eznet would automatically call Ed's board and
|
||
deposit the daily messages and pick up messages from the other boards.
|
||
|
||
Some things that go on are mind boggling. Lets assume you log on to
|
||
Alter Ego and leave Message #1012 about Ricky Eanes quoting too much.
|
||
This message is then sent via the net to Crunchy Frog where it shows up
|
||
as Message #3422 on the frog. Ricky calls the Frog, quotes the whole
|
||
message as message #3488, and it then returns to Alter Ego as message
|
||
#1130. Now when you read Ricky's message, it will show referenced to
|
||
#1012 on Alter Ego. but if you were to call the Frog it would reference
|
||
message #3422. A lot of thought went into this sort of thing that most
|
||
users never consider.
|
||
|
||
A few months back Ed decided to get out of the EZNet Central Business
|
||
and we were faced with a problem. Rocky Rawlins (Matrix) agreed to pick
|
||
up the conferences on Matrix but was running different net software. It
|
||
was decided that he would set up two ways to network the information,
|
||
and the new net was born.
|
||
|
||
A little about the network software: Here in Birmingham we have pretty
|
||
much settled on two packages RNet and Netmail. These packages both work
|
||
much like the mail door you use with your offline readers. The big
|
||
difference is that they accept messages from many different names while
|
||
logged in as a single name.
|
||
|
||
Here is how the net is set up today,
|
||
|
||
|
||
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ (N)
|
||
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ķ Matrix (Central Hub) <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ
|
||
<20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ <20>
|
||
<20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
|
||
<20> (N) <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ
|
||
<EFBFBD> Abject Poverty <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> S T <20>
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ
|
||
(N) <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> (R)
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ
|
||
<EFBFBD> Alter Ego <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>Ķ Crunchy Frog <20>
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ
|
||
<20> <20> <20> <20> <20> (N)
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ (N)<29> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ
|
||
<EFBFBD> Jokers Castle <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD>ĺ Little Kingdom <20>
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ
|
||
<20> <20> <20> (N)
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ (N) <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ
|
||
<EFBFBD> Bloom County <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ķ 8 2 5 0 <20>
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ
|
||
<20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> (N)
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ (N) <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ
|
||
<EFBFBD> Magnolia <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20> The Bus <20>
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ
|
||
<20> <20> (R)
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ (P) <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͻ
|
||
<EFBFBD> Byte Me <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20>Ķ Radio Free Troad <20>
|
||
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>ͼ
|
||
|
||
(N)= NetMail (R)= Rnet (P)= (Omega Ohm's)
|
||
|
||
So as you post a message on your favorite board, it is then sent to The
|
||
Matrix either direct or in the case of a couple of boards in two hops to
|
||
the Matrix and then to all the other boards. Remember we are only
|
||
talking about the EZNet conference. Next month we will see some of the
|
||
more complex connections for other echos.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
ProFile
|
||
by Chris Mohney
|
||
|
||
The ProFile is a short, half-serious biographical sketch given to
|
||
various computer telecommunications personalities around Birmingham.
|
||
Victims are selected randomly from a group of names put into the
|
||
notorious Hat. Anyone who thinks himself brave or witty enough may
|
||
petition for admittance to the Hat by leaving E-Mail to me (Chris
|
||
Mohney, most boards around town) to that effect. Anyone who wishes to
|
||
suggest more questions or sneakily nominate someone without their
|
||
knowledge may take the same route....
|
||
|
||
---------
|
||
|
||
Pro File on LURCH HENSON
|
||
|
||
---------
|
||
|
||
Age: 27
|
||
|
||
Birthplace: Ft. Bragg, NC
|
||
|
||
Occupation: Commodore Computer Rep at Ft. Rucker, Al
|
||
|
||
My hobbies include: Telecommunications, Tinkology, Reading, Inventing
|
||
interesting devices, Weapons of all types,
|
||
Computers, Puzzles, the Pleasuring of Women, the
|
||
Craft, and anything that is capable of holding my
|
||
interest.
|
||
|
||
Years telecomputing: About 5 - 7
|
||
|
||
Sysop, past/present/future of: Lurch's Place BBS, The Maze, The Unknown
|
||
BBS, The Hellfire Special BBS,
|
||
Sex-for-Sex's Sake BBS, The Enterprise
|
||
BBS, The Launch Pad BBS, The Wire- Grass
|
||
BBS, The Dark Side BBS, Eagle's Corner
|
||
BBS. (Co-Sysop on the last five.)
|
||
|
||
My oddest habit is: Speaking "Forsoothly" when conversing with a Lady.
|
||
|
||
My greatest unfulfilled ambition is: To be in charge of All for more
|
||
than just one day this time around....
|
||
|
||
The single accomplishment of which I am most proud is:
|
||
It's not exactly MY accomplishment, but I guess that I can now
|
||
once again be ME.
|
||
|
||
My favorite performers are: Hmmmmmmm, MAYBE Ann & Nancy Wilson, ZZTop,
|
||
David Copperfield, Merlin, Donna Spicer
|
||
(DAMN, can she PERFORM!), and several others
|
||
you have not had the pleasure of hearing
|
||
of.... (like Donna <GRIN> )
|
||
|
||
The last good movie I saw was: The last half of "The Man who would be
|
||
King".
|
||
|
||
The last good book I read was: Almost all of the M.Y.T.H. books by
|
||
Robert Aspirin
|
||
|
||
If they were making a movie of my life, I'd like to see my part played
|
||
by: Pierce Brosnan, IF he beefed up alot. Otherwise, anyone my size,
|
||
that looks enough like me that people can recognize who they're
|
||
looking at, and that has the style and confidence to be a believable
|
||
me....
|
||
|
||
My pet peeves are: Stupidity
|
||
|
||
When nobody's looking, I like to: Alter probability for humorous
|
||
effects.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Special Interest Groups (SIGs)
|
||
|
||
BEPCUG CCS
|
||
Birmingham East PC Users Group Commodore Club South
|
||
Jefferson Sate Jr. College Springville Road Library
|
||
Ruby Carson Hall, Rm 114 2nd & 4th Tuesday (C64/C128)
|
||
3rd Friday, 7-9 PM 3rd Monday (Amiga)
|
||
Paula Ballard 251-6058 (after 5PM) 7:30-10 PM
|
||
Maurice Lovelady 684-6843
|
||
|
||
BCCC BIPUG
|
||
Birmingham Commodore Computer Club Birmingham IBM-PC Users Group
|
||
POB 59564 UAB Nutrition Science Blg
|
||
Birmingham, Al 35259 RM 535/541
|
||
UAB School of Education, Rm 153 1st Sunday (delayed one week
|
||
2nd and 4th Sundays, 2 PM if meeting is a holiday)
|
||
Rusty Hargett 854-5172 Marty Schulman 967-5883
|
||
|
||
BACE FAOUG
|
||
Birmingham Atari Computer First Alabama Osborne Users
|
||
Enthusiast Group
|
||
Vestavia Library, downstairs Homewood Library
|
||
2nd Monday, 7 PM 1st Saturday, 1PM
|
||
Benny Brown 822-5059 Ed Purquez 669-5200
|
||
|
||
CADUB
|
||
CAD Users of Birmingham
|
||
Homewood Library
|
||
3rd Tuesday, 6:30PM-8:30PM
|
||
Bobby Benson 791-0426
|
||
|
||
If you belong to or know of a user group that is not listed,
|
||
please let us know by sending E-Mail to Barry Bowden on
|
||
The Matrix BBS.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area
|
||
|
||
NAME NUMBER BAUD RATES MODEM BBS SOFTWARE
|
||
SUPPORTED TYPE
|
||
|
||
*% Abject Poverty 680-9680 300-2400 ProBBS/ProDoor
|
||
* Alter-Ego BBS 925-0707 300-2400 MNP4 ProBBS/ProDoor
|
||
* American BBS 674-1851 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
|
||
Amiga Alliance ][ 631-0262 300-2400 Ami Express
|
||
Arkham Asylum 853-7422 300-2400 WWIV 4.12
|
||
*% Bloom County 856-0587 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
|
||
-* Bus System 595-1627 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2
|
||
*% Byte Me! 979-BYTE! 2400-9600 USR HST WWIV 4.12
|
||
Camelot BBS 856-0679 300-2400 Telegard 2.5
|
||
-*# Channel 8250 Node 1 744-8546 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
|
||
-*# Channel 8250 Node 2 744-5166 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.5
|
||
* Crunchy Frog 956-1755 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.0
|
||
DataLynx 322-3425 300-2400 Oracomm5.L.30
|
||
Graphics Zone Node 1 870-5306 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16)
|
||
Graphics Zone Node 2 870-5329 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16)
|
||
Hacker's Corner 674-5449 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5
|
||
+ I.S.A. BBS 995-6590 300-9600 USR HST TCOMM
|
||
-* Joker's Castle 664-5589 300-2400 MNP4 PC Board 14.5
|
||
K-9 Corner 424-8202 300-2400 Image 1.2
|
||
*& Little Kingdom Node 1 969-0007 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
|
||
*& Little Kingdom Node 2 969-0008 300-2400 MNP4 PCBoard 14.5
|
||
LZ Birmingham 870-7770 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
|
||
* Magnolia BBS 854-6407 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.2
|
||
MICROTECH Comm. 951-5678 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
|
||
@ Missing Link 853-1257 300-2400 Image1.2
|
||
^ Myth Drannor 699-5811 1200-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11
|
||
Outside It's America 951-2473 300-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11
|
||
Owl's Nest 680-0851 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2
|
||
PC Echange Link 663-2759 300-9600 USR DS QuickBBS 2.04
|
||
Posys BBS 854-5131 1200-2400 RBBSCPC17.3
|
||
+= Programmer's Shack 871-3356 300-9600 USR HST Telegard 2.5i
|
||
* Radio Free Troad 979-6183 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.2
|
||
Safe Harbor 665-4355 300-2400 GTPower 15.00
|
||
Shadetree BBS 787-6723 300-2400 Phoenix1.36
|
||
+= Sherwood Forest 838-1432 1200-2400 Telegard 2.5i
|
||
+= Source Line 674-0852 1200-2400 Telegard 2.5i
|
||
Sperry BBS 853-6144 300-9600 Hayes PCBoard 14.5
|
||
* ST BBS 836-9311 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2
|
||
@ The Commodore Zone 856-3783 300-2400 Image1.2
|
||
The Connection Node 1 854-9074 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.1
|
||
The Connection Node 2 854-2308 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.1
|
||
The Connection Node 3 854-0698 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.1
|
||
The Dog House 425-9255 300-1200 Image1.2
|
||
The Dragon's Hoard 833-3790 300-2400 WWIV 4.12
|
||
-*! The Matrix Nodes 1-4 323-2016 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
|
||
-*! The Matrix Node 5 251-2344 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.5
|
||
+= The Outer Limits 985-1725 1200-9600 USR HST Telegard 2.5i
|
||
The Quiet Zone 833-2066 300-2400 ExpressNET
|
||
+= The Round Table 938-2145 300-2400 WWIV 4.11
|
||
VCM(ee) BBS Node 1 655-4059 300-2400 USR V.32 Oracomm Plus
|
||
VCM(ee) BBS Node 2 655-4065 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Victory Express 425-0821 300-1200 Image 1.2
|
||
Willie's DYM Node 1 979-1629 300-2400 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Willie's DYM Node 2 979-7739 300-2400 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Willie's DYM Node 3 979-7743 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Willie's DYM Node 4 979-8156 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Ziggy Unaxess 991-5696 300-1200 Unaxess
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "*" before their name are members of our local network,
|
||
EzNet, and public messages left in the EzNet Conferences of any of these
|
||
boards will be echoed to all members.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "@" before their name are members of our local Commodore
|
||
network, Image Network, and e-mail left on any member board may be
|
||
directed to any other member board.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "=" before their name are members of our local Telegard
|
||
network and public messages left in the echoed conferences of any of
|
||
these boards will be echoed to all members.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "+" before their name are members of FidoNet, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
|
||
as private mail services all over the world.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "-" before their name are members of MetroNet, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
|
||
as private mail services all over the world.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "^" before their name are members of WWIV-Net, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
|
||
as private mail services all over the continent.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "&" before their name are members of Intellec, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
|
||
as private mail services all over the world.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "#" before their name are members of Uni'Net, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
|
||
as private mail services all over the world.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "%" before their name are members of ThrobNet, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of private adult oriented
|
||
forums all over the continent.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "!" before their name are members of RastaNet, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of public forums all over
|
||
the continent.
|
||
|
||
If you have any corrections, additions, deletions, etc., please let us
|
||
know via EzNet.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
EzNet Multiple Echo List
|
||
|
||
This is a list of the current echoes that we are aware of. More are
|
||
in the making and will be posted in future issues. If you are a sysop
|
||
and are running an echo not listed for your board, please make us aware
|
||
of it so we may correct it next issue.
|
||
|
||
E P I A S B A W G
|
||
Z r B d c T s e M
|
||
N o M u i N t b C
|
||
e g l t W r e
|
||
t r t e A o s
|
||
a c n y
|
||
m h u s
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Abject Poverty X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Alter-Ego X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
American BBS Not hooked into new central yet. MM
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Bloom County X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Bus System X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Byte Me! X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Channel 8250 X X X X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Crunchy Frog X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Joker's Castle X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Little Kingdom X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Magnolia BBS X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Radio Free Troad X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
ST BBS X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
The Matrix X X X X X X X
|
||
|
||
ed. This is a test layout for the new echo list. Please post your
|
||
comments, corrections, and suggestions for improving it. I'm not crazy
|
||
about this layout but it is all that I could think of at the time it
|
||
needed to get out. MM
|