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BTN: Birmingham Telecommunications News
COPYRIGHT 1988
October 1988 Volume 1, Issue 6
Table Of Contents
-----------------
Article Title Author
Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Mark Maisel
Editorial Column...............................Mark Maisel
BBS's In The Old Days..........................Fred Hambrecht
Pro File: Blake Miller........................Chris Mohney
Are You A Computer Widow?......................Lisa Straughn
ANSI Escape Sequences For DOS..................Keith Cahoon
Diplomacy......................................Sohail Rabbani
How To Upload A Message Onto A BBS.............Michele Cahoon
Gamers Corner..................................Chris Mohney
An Opinion On Mice.............................Bob Talley
From The Kitchen...............................Chez Stephan
Caught Again!..................................Gina Gossip
Known BBS Numbers..............................Mark Maisel
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN
We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and
information in our publication. We assume no responsibility for
damage due to errors, ommisions, etc. The liability,if any for BTN, its
editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or ommisions,
etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN,
even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood
of such damages occurring.
With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our
policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles. We publish
monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to
publication. If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any
time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear
in a particular issue. It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise
harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the
content of the articles prepared by our writers. Our writers own their
work and it is protected by copyright. We allow reprinting of articles
from BTN with only a few restrictions. The author may object to a
reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article.
Othewise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as
the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the
article's original title are retained. If you use one of our articles,
please forward a copy of your publication to:
Mark Maisel
Editor, BTN
221 Chestnut St.
BHM, AL 35210-3219
We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that
you like it. We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing
all of this and not get too serious about it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Editorial
by Mark Maisel
I hope that we were missed during the last month. Ed and I got together
and decided to sit out a month since all of our contributors were busy
enjoying the last of summer. I did receive several inquiries as to the
whereabouts of BTN6 and now I will answer by saying here it is!
Several events have been occurring during the last month that deserve
notice here. Danny Manning and Daniel Bradford have started a printed
newsletter called Birmingham Online. I love the name guys and I wish I
had thought of it. I have not yet had a chance to see an issue but I
have heard high praise from those who have had the opportunity. BTN
tried the printed route when we first started up but the reception was
not warm enough for this budding publisher to bear the burden of
start-up costs. I wish "The Dans" all the luck in the world with their
effort and I hope to see an issue soon.
It is not enough that we have a local network of our own, we have
expanded our horizons to national and soon international message
exchanges through QuikNet which is running on the Pinson Valley BBS.
This network allows PC Board systems to exchange messages on a variety
of topics and a sysop may pick and choose from several message bases to
exchange with others. If you have not seen this fantastic enrichment to
telecomputing, then I suggest that you call Pinson Valley BBS right now
and capture some of the stuff there. It is impossible to read all of
the messages online as they are overwhelming. For example, the first
time I entered the IBM conference, I captured 300 new messages and the
oldest one was not even a week old.
Channel 8250, one of our finest boards, has gone to a strictly message
base board. The file transfer ability has been removed as the sysop
has become frustrated with some callers leeching the boards file
libraries and contributing junk and duplicate files. Please think about
what we have here and what we stand to lose. I think that Stephen
Powers, Ziggy, says it best on his opening screen, when you enter my
bbs, you are treated as a guest in my home and I expect similar
treatment on your part. You are a guest when you use a bbs and if you
act like a thief, then you will be treated as such.
I don't have too much more to say this time but I would like to let you
know what sort of treats our contributors have cooked up for you this
month. It turns out that we have one of the true pioneers in BBSing
among our ranks in Fred Hambrecht and you will be extremely interested
in his article about the the early days. Those of you who see messages
from Blake Miller will get a kick out of his Profile and perhaps you may
get a better understanding of why he types like that! Next time your
spouse complains about your lack of attention, direct them to Lisa
Straughn's article on computer widows. I think that it may ease the
burden. Sohail Rabbani has graciously offered to present a series on
the game, Diplomacy, being played online on America Online. This is
fascinating game of strategy and intrigue that any and all serious game
players should consider joining. We have several good instructional
articles this time that will prove to be very beneficial to you and Gina
Gossip has been at it again so enjoy. We close BTN once again with our
Known BBS List for our area. If your board is not listed, then please
leave me a message on any public bbs excluding your own, of course.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
BBS's In The Old Days
by Fred Hambrecht
It was December of 1978 when I discovered the first BBS. It was run by
Ward Christenson out of Chicago. Based on a CP/M system, you could enter
messages, read messages, and in general communicate with the rest of the
fledgling "home computer types". I got the list of the BBS's in the US
and that night called all 17 of them. With one exception they were
clones of Wards system and devoted to CP/M systems. The exception was a
system written by Bob Blue in California using the Apple. At the time I
was the proud owner of a Commodore Pet Computer with a tape cassette, 8K
of memory and a printer I had bought for the sum of $595 that used
silver paper about 4 inches wide and burned the characters on the paper.
To this day I don't understand the attraction of BBSing, But hooked I
was, I had to have my own BBS. At that time no software existed for the
PET so we had to write our own. When I say write our own, I mean RS-232
drivers and everything. The PET had no serial interface and the only
other interface was a Commodore version of the HP IEEE 488 Bus. Not the
most popular in the industry. The hardware problems had to be solved
first. At that time a set of 8K memory chips would set you back about
$125, I lucked out when the company I worked for (Sycor) changed over to
the new 16K chip and I was able to "obtain" a couple of tubes of 8K
chips. I was in hog heaven, with the aid of a bread board, the PET was
upgraded to 32K a princely sum! Commodore had just announced a dual 140K
disk drive for only $1295. A few days later we had the new drive in
hand. The serial interface was designed and tested over the next few
weeks. The next problem was a Modem, I couldn't figure a way to get the
acoustical coupler to work on incoming calls. Again luck was with me, a
new company BIZCOMP had just announced a modem that was a direct
connect. Well, at least it was if you had what the old Ma Bell folks
called a DAA (Direct Access Arrangement). No problem, call the phone
folks and get one. "Ha Ha you have a computer in your house" the loyal
minion at Bell chuckled "and want to do what"... I knew I was had, I
hung up before they traced the call right after he mumbled about extra
costs for computer grade lines as well as Modems only being allowed on
commercial numbers. I called BIZCOMP and convinced the sales manager
that this would be the advertising chance of a lifetime. He sent me one
for FREE! The only condition was that he could use my system to demo the
modems to his customers. When I questioned him about the DAA, he replied
" Hell, hook it up and don't tell them" As a Ham I had hooked up phone
patches for years, so Ma Bell didn't worry me.
I wrote and debugged the software over the next month and a half, much
to the consternation of two teenage daughters, who could not understand
why I would tie up both phones talking to myself. All this while
important calls from boy friends were being met with busy signals. Rule
1 of BBSing - No inconvenience is too great. Finally The great day! In
February of 1979 the worlds first PET BBS was active. I was set for the
world praise for months of effort! The first few calls left nasty
messages as to why did my command structure differ from Ward's. So much
for originality. A quick rewrite made all the menus look like the old
CP/M boards except I thought it was dumb to have to add a carriage
return after entering your letter choice, that lasted until the board
was reviewed for Kilobaud Magazine by Frank Derfler. His comment was
something to the effect "the system annoyingly sometimes requires no
carriage returns". Oh well! glory never comes easily. I changed the
software once again. Now I was an exact clone! Who could complain now!
You guessed it, Ward made changes to his software and again sleepless
nights of rewriting the code. The only real thrill was when the Pet club
in Canada requested a copy of the software. This was the largest PET
club in the world and homebase of the famous GURU Jim Butterfield. They
ran my software for about 2 years and then the group did a rewrite that
is still sold today.
The system had the ability to Add, Delete, Read and Browse messages. No
file transfers or any of the features found today on the nifty systems
we use everyday. All in all a primitive system, but good enough to
qualify us as a pioneer in the BBS hobby.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
PRO FILE by Chris Mohney
The Pro File is a short, half-serious biographical sketch given to
various computer telecommunications personalities around Birmingham.
Victims are selected randomly from a group of names put into the
notorious Hat. Anyone who thinks himself brave or witty enough may
petition for admittance to the Hat by leaving E-Mail to me (Chris
Mohney, most boards around town) to that effect. Anyone who wishes to
suggest more questions or sneakily nominate someone without their
knowledge may take the same route ....
---------
Pro File on BLAKE MILLER
---------
Age: 25 years
Birthplace: The City of Angels, California
That be Los Angeles to you all east of the Rockies...
Occupation:
Professional Graduate Student.
I am currently on my seventh straight year of college...
I keep telling my self that one of these days I will graduate...
My_hobbies_include:
Calling BBS systems! What else? Hmmmm....
Oh yeah. Programming computers.
I practice the Martial Arts when I get the chance.
I also like to go backpacking. As a matter of fact, I am
going hiking in the Sierra Nevada mountains in the
beginning of September.
Months_telecomputing:
I'm embarrassed. Just like most women are when you ask them
their age. I got the modem in November of 1987.
My first computer was (well, still is) an
Apple Macintosh 512K. I now also own an AST Model 80.
Seeing as how the MACAPATHY has set in to the BBS community,
I use the MS DOS machine for most telecomputing activity.
SYSOP_past/present/future of:
Well, people ask me why I don't run a BBS. I tell them
the BBS software I want to operate has not been written.
I would like to share a big secret, there is life after TTY...
I have not given much thought yet to the name I would give the
board, but I do want to run one. Seems like a lot of fun.
The emphasis would be on C Programming, of course...
If I could, I would get around the 640K single user limit by
running it on a DEC MicroVAX or something similar...
My_oddest_habit_is:
Waking up in the middle of the night with a strange craving to
tweak source code I had been working on all day because I all of
a sudden had an answer come to me in a dream! Then it is hard as
heck trying to get back to sleep!
My_greatest_unfulfilled_ambition_is_to:
Rewrite MS DOS!
The_single_accomplishment_of_which_I_am_most_proud_to_date_is:
Getting into graduate school!
My_favourite_performers_are:
Sean Young. Have you seen Bladerunner? Now that is a babe!
She shows up in the strangest places...
Harrison Ford. Have you seen Bladerunner?
I think this guy can act!
Music? Tangerine Dream and Pink Floyd is a toss up.
Chip Davis of Mannheim Steamroller, Vangelis, Jean Michel Jarre
(who is Maurice Jarre's son), John Barry (music for James Bond
movies), Fleetwood Mac, Supertramp, Mark Knoffler, Ray Lynch, Styx.
Other albums from some groups in general.
The_last_good_movie_I_saw_was:
That is a tough one. Hmmmmmmmm............
Probably LadyHawke, which I rented back in March.
The_last_good_book_I_read_was:
The Bible (NIV Study Version).
If_they_were_making_a_movie_of_my_life:
I would like to see my part played by Harrison Ford.
He would probably do a good job.
My_pet_peeves_are:
Anything labeled with the word 'standard' in it or so described,
in which case
1. it probably is not
2. at least a jillion different variations can be found...
ASCII and RS232 come to mind REAL quick...
When_nobody_is_looking_I_like_to
Sleep.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Are You A Computer Widow?
by Lisa Straughn
For those of you who are widows of computer junkies, I would like to
speak to you about this growing infatuation between you husbands and the
electronic wonders of the 80's.
Did you ever think you would get tired of looking at the back of your
husband's head before growing tired of looking at his face? Do you ever
want to tell him to go sleep with his computer? Does dinner sometimes
get ruined because he doesn't have time to come and eat because he's
"on-line"? (And then he blames you for timing dinner wrong?) Do your
children or pets seem to suffer from "Father Withdrawal Syndrome"? Has
your husband started typing instead of talking to you?
If you answered yes to one or more of the questions above, then you are
experiencing the side effects of this high-tech addiction.
Before you shoot, divorce, or otherwise incarcerate the poor hubby, just
try to relax and be patient. Remember, these are just little boys in
grown up bodies, most of them anyway. The older they get the bigger and
more expensive their toys get. I think it has something to do with the
fear of growing old and senile. Though I know it is tempting at times,
don't throw his computer out the window. We of the fairer sex are
supposed to be sugar and spice, etc., etc., so the advice of the day is
to try more honey to catch the fly instead of vinegar. The alternative
is to send him to an institution to have his RAM disk formatted.
Whatever you do, don't harm the computer. It's a lot easier to expend a
lot more honey for the attention than it is to eat a 2000 dollar
computer after installing a virus on his machine, and certainly doesn't
shorten one's life expectancy as much.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ansi Escape Sequences for Dos
Command Format
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
CUP --- Cursor position ---------------- prompt $e[LineNumber;ColumnNumber H
HVP --- Horizontal/Vertical Position --- prompt $e[LineNumber;ColumnNumber F
CUU --- Cursor Up ---------------------- prompt $e[NumberOfLines A
CUD --- Cursor Down -------------------- prompt $e[NumberOfLines B
CUF --- Cursor Forward ----------------- prompt $e[NumberOfColumns C
CUB --- Cursor Backward ---------------- prompt $e[NumberOfLines D
DSR --- Device Status Report ----------- prompt $e[6n
SCP --- Save Cursor Position ----------- prompt $e[s
RCP --- Restore Cursor Position -------- prompt $e[u
ED ---- Erase Display ------------------ prompt $e[2J
EL ---- Erase Line --------------------- prompt $e[K
SGR --- Set Graghics Rendition --------- prompt $e[Parameter;Parameter m
SM ---- Set Mode ----------------------- prompt $e[Parameter h
RM ---- Reset Mode --------------------- prompt $e[Parameter l
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Examples
Cursor position ---------------- prompt $e[2;4H
Moves cursor to line 2 column 4.
Horizontal/Vertical Position --- prompt $e[3;6F
Moves cursor to line 2 column 4.
Cursor Up ---------------------- prompt $e[2A
Moves the cursor up 2 lines. If the cursor is already on the top line
then DOS ignores the sequence.
Cursor Down -------------------- prompt $e[3B
Moves the cursor down 3 lines. If the cursor is already on the bottom line
then DOS ignores the sequence.
Cursor Forward ----------------- prompt $e[5C
Moves the cursor right 5 columns. If the cursor is already in the right
most position then DOS ignores the sequence.
Cursor Backward ---------------- prompt $e[3D
Moves the cursor left 3 columns. If the cursor is already in the left
most position then DOS ignores the sequence.
Device Status Report ----------- prompt $e[6n
The console driver outputs a Restore Cursor Position.
Save Cursor Position ----------- prompt $e[s
Saves the current cursor position.
Restore Cursor Position -------- prompt $e[u
Restores the cursor position saved by the Save Cursor Position sequence.
Erase Display ------------------ prompt $e[2J
Erases Screen.
Erase Line --------------------- prompt $e[K
Erases from the cursor to the end of the line.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Set Graphics Rendition
Set Graphics Rendition --------- prompt $e[44;43m
Turns on blue background and yellow foreground.
Parameter Function
0 All attributes off
1 Bold on
2 Faint on
3 Italic on
5 Blink on
6 Rapid blink on
7 Reverse video on
8 Concealed on
30 Black foreground
31 Red foreground
32 Green foreground
33 Yellow foreground
34 Blue foreground
35 Magenta foreground
36 Cyan foreground
37 White foreground
40 Black background
41 Red background
42 Green background
43 Yellow background
44 Blue background
45 Magenta background
46 Cyan background
47 White background
48 Subscript
49 Superscript
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Set Mode ----------------------- prompt $e[1h
Changes video mode to 40 X 25 color.
Reset Mode --------------------- prompt $e[2l
Changes video mode to 80 X 25 black and white.
Parameter Function
0 40 X 25 Mono
1 40 X 25 Black and white
3 80 X 25 Black and white
4 80 X 25 Color
5 320 X 200 Color
6 320 X 200 Black and white
7 Wrap-around at the end of each line
Parameters for Reset Mode are the same as for Set mode except parameter 7
resets the mode that causes Wrapping at the end of each line.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by:
Keith Cahoon
(Guitar Man)
@1988
Point of NO Return BBS
(205)664-9609.
300/1200/2400 24hrs.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
DIPLOMACY
by Sohail Rabbani
Fourteen years ago I learnt to play DIPLOMACY, but never got a chance
to actually PLAY it. When a friend brought the game and it looked
promising to the group (we were a group of eight), I was assigned the
task of mastering the rule book (which looked rather imposing) and
teach it to others. I did the job a little too well, as a result, I
ended up being the group's permanent Game Master and never played. As
college got harder the group dispersed and DIPLOMACY left my life.
Then out of the blue Mark Maisel mentioned to me one day that America
On Line has a game of DIPLOMACY going on wherein he was playing Italy.
"Who controls the Adriatic and Ionian Seas," was my spontaneous
question. We discussed the game for a while and I realized that
although I did not remember all the intricate details of the map any
more, a good bit was still there. DIPLOMACY by E-mail This was the
most logical step in the evolution of the game. I was excited and
wanted to play. Currently, I'm playing in a game, my first ever.
In this (what I am told will be an) on going section on DIPLOMACY in
BTN, it will be our purpose to give exposure to DIPLOMACY, the game,
in general and its E-play on a BBS. We'll also keep up with the
happenings in the games being played on America On Line. I like to
cover the basics first and in later issues we shall get into the more
exotic stuff.
INTRODUCTION and BACKGROUND
DIPLOMACY, like chess, is a game of strategy above anything else. But
it also involves a lot of other things that chess does not. There is
probably more literature printed on DIPLOMACY than any other board
game with the exception of chess.
DIPLOMACY is set in Europe of 1901. The game board is a map of
Europe, more or less, as it was in 1901. There are a few inaccuracies
(Norway and Sweden, for example, did not get separated until 1906 or
so) and several over simplifications, but let's not split hairs, it's
a game after all, for God's sake.
The European Powers of the day were in an intense competition for
supremacy. Alliances shifted with kaleidoscopic unpredictability.
They, however, used military force very sparingly but attempted to
manipulate each other to their own advantage using deceit and
treachery as their main weapons.
In 1953 Allen B. Calhamer, a double major in history and political
science, got so intrigued with the history and politics of Europe at
the turn of the century that he set out to design a game based on
that. In 1958 Avon Hills came out with the first commercial version
of his game. He named it DIPLOMACY. A revised version, which is
essentially the game we play today, came out a year later, in 1959.
Postal play of the game became a fad and rapidly proliferated into a
voluminous body of literature covering doctrine, strategy, tactics and
variations. Mr. Calhamer and an ad hoc committee of postal players
worked on removing the various ambiguities that still existed in the
game through the sixties. After several refinements a revised and
definitive version of the Rules appeared in 1971.
There are seven players, each represents a Great Power. There are
thirty four "supply centers" on the map. The objective of every
player is to capture 18 of the supply centers, by hook or by crook.
If this takes forming alliances or stabbing people in the back, then
so be it.
The seven powers of Europe, represented by seven players in DIPLOMACY,
are the Dual Monarchy of Austria-Hungry; the Third Republic of France;
post Victorian England (Queen Victoria died in early 1901); the
Second Reich of Germany; the Kingdom of Italy; the Russian Empire; and
the Ottoman Empire.
NATURE OF THE GAME
DIPLOMACY is not a game for everyone. It's not a "nice" game at all.
Some vices which one wishes never to possess in real life become
virtues in DIPLOMACY and are essential for a wholesome experience of
the game. In that sense it could be thought of as a role-playing
game.
DIPLOMACY is a game for mature people who can tell the difference
between a game and reality. Those who must win on order to enjoy, are
warned never to try playing this game. Nor should those, who take the
outcome of a game PERSONALLY, ever go near this game. In real life we
do not betray the trust of our friends nor do we deliberately cheat
and deceive our neighbors, but in DIPLOMACY we do. The first
Commandment of DIPLOMACY is: "Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's supply
centers." It is essential to remember that DIPLOMACY is just a game.
A player who wipes another one out, especially through deceit and
treachery, is not a bad person or an unworthy friend, he is a player
of DIPLOMACY and, at that, a good one. In DIPLOMACY there is no room
for appeals to personal friendship, reminder of past favors and
exhibition of temper tantrums at a treacherous ally.
The game's inventor, Allen B. Calhamer wrote the in 1974:
"Cooperation must be created among players who have
been fighting one another, and who have set their
hearts on other objectives; they must admit that
goals they have pursued all game long, which are now
within their grasp, have just lost their value, and
may even be destructive. Frequently they are out of
position for new encounter, better positioned to
fight each other. This is not the cooperation of
being merely assigned to the same team. This is
Verdun."
OBJECTIVES and PLAY STYLES
Games are played for fun. Some people are too preoccupied with
winning or "doing well" that they cannot enjoy if they don't win.
DIPLOMACY, as mentioned before, is certainly not the game for such
people. Everyone has approximately 14% probability of winning.
However, there can be several other objectives and their corresponding
styles of playing DIPLOMACY if having fun is the motive.
(1) Conquest or Stalemate: When played by a very good and ruthless
player, this is a very powerful style. This player attempts to win,
and if that proves difficult, he attempts to prevent another from
winning. At the very minimum he attempts to bring about a stalemate.
Pursuit of this objective requires an aggressive stance, logical
calculation, cunning and a lot of gall. Players in pursuit of this
objective are seldom steadfast allies. They prefer temporary
alliances for specific goals only. Each alliance is broken when it
has out lived its intended purpose. A player with a reputation of
this style rarely finds allies and frequently becomes an early target
of others who are less adept than he is.
(2) Strong Ally: This is a variation of the first style, with one
main difference, one primary alliance is made early in the game and is
strongly maintained to the end. This player is satisfied to let his
primary ally become the winner if he cannot win himself. Two players
can enter into a long term pact have develop a common grand strategy.
As a team the two allies seek to eliminate all others and possibly
call it a draw between themselves at the end. This is a very
effective style and is also the most common. Unfortunately, it makes
for a dull game if two or three such alliances simultaneously appear
in the same game.
(3) The Underdog's Advocate: This kind of player is not particularly
interested in winning. He wants to prevents others from winning. He
also wants to prevent anyone from getting wiped out, especially
himself. In other words, he tries to keep the balance of power. If
one player begin to grow strong, be drums up a campaign against him.
If another player gets too weak, he intervenes on his behalf. This is
perhaps the best style of play, where the game itself is of greater
importance than mere winning. Such a game may go on forever.
(4) The Monkey Wrench: This style of player refuses to take the game
seriously at all. He knows its only a game, so he does not concern
himself with winning it. He attempts new moves, injects bizarre
variations and experiments with unknown possibilities. It is the best
way to add color and variety to the game.
In the next issue we shall explore the Elements of the Game itself.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
How To Upload A Message Onto A BBS
by Michele Cahoon
A lot of users have had questions on how to create messages off-line and
upload them into a message on a board. Each board is different as far as
how many lines the allow in a message and PCBoard allows 72 characters
per line. I will use my board as an example to help describe what you
need to do.
First you check the board for how many lines they allow for a message.
On my BBS it is 33 lines per message.
Get your editor and write your message or messages. Make sure you only
have 72 characters,(spaces, commas, periods are included),check the
amount of lines in your message.
The next step is calling up the bbs. Start the message as you normally
would, type the e (for entering a message); to: (place who it is for);
subject: (whatever); and security; (receiver only or public). When you
get to the first line of starting the message, go to send a file on your
end of your communications package. Make sure you are set on your end
for an ASCII upload. Then go through the steps you normally do to get an
upload going. Sit back and watch it fly...never thought you could type
so fast...... Then save it as you normally would save a message... Now
isn't that simple???
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Gamers Corner
by Chris Mohney
I almost suffered cardiac arrest when reading this article a while ago.
It concerns the roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons, but only as the
setting; anyone can understand it and laugh about it. Trust me, it's
hysterical! It's by Richard Aronson, from the 13th issue of the
roleplaying periodical Spell Book. Enjoy!
* * *
Let us cast our minds back to the early days of Fantasy Role Playing,
back when ye Dread Gygax was loose upon the land. Funny how humor and
horror can start out so alike. Let us go still earlier (yes, it is
permitted to breathe sighs of relief) to the days before Gygax (and the
courts) thought that he owned FRP. In the early seventies, Ed
Whitchurch ran "his game", and one of the participants was Eric
Sorenson, a veritable giant of a man. This story is essentially true; I
know both Ed and Eric, and neither denies it (although Eric, for reasons
that will become apparent, never repeats it either). If my telling of
it does not match the actual events precisely, it is because I've heard
it many different ways depending on how much of what type of intoxicants
Ed had taken recently.
The gist of this is that Eric, well, you need a bit more about Eric, or
else I won't fill quota. Eric comes quite close to being a computer.
When he games, he methodically considers each possibility before choosing
his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the
optimal solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise in
all respects a superior gamer, and I've spent many happy hours competing
with and against him, as long as he is given enough time.
So, Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin (why should only Lawful Good
religions get to have holy warriors was the thinking) in Ed's game. He
even had a holy sword, which fought well, and did all those things holy
swords are supposed to do, including detect good (random die roll; it
could have detected evil). He was on some lord's lands when the
following exchange occurred:
ED: You see a well-groomed garden. In the middle, on a small
hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause). It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About fifty yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause). It's about thirty feet across, fifteen feet high, with a
pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause). I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause). I sheathe my sword an draw my bow and arrows.
Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause). Wasn't it wounded?
ED: OF COURSE NOT, ERIC! IT'S A GAZEBO!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a plus three arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to
destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or
you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would
even try. It's a *)@#! gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.) I run away.
ED: (Thouroughly frustrated.) It's too late. You've woken up the
gazebo, and it catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice). Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage
so I can avenge my Paladin.
At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a
modicum of order by explaining what a gazebo is. It is solely an
afterthought, of course, but Eric was doubly lucky that the gazebo was
not situated on a grassy knoll.
That is the story of Eric and the Gazebo. It's funnier when I tell it
in person. Isn't it always, though. Be seeing you ...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
An Opinion on Mice
by Bob Talley
provided to us by Jay Enterkin
I think that mice are nice where they belong - in traps, not in
computers. Is there no end to the vermin infestation? What's next --
chipmunks? The meeses I have tried were slower and less accurate than a
keyboard. What's the matter with WORDS? Have we forgotten how to use
plain, simple words? This brings me to my other pet hate - the infamous
Icon. Why Icons? Can't we all read English? Must we have cutesy little
pictures to tell us what to do next? Are we raising a nation of people
who are computer literate but English illiterate? One of the programs I
bought and threw away had a picture of a hammer in it. I never did find
out what it was supposed to mean, but I know what I thought it meant - I
should have hit myself on the head with a hammer for buying anything so
childish and inane. Expensive trash! And just EXACTLY what do the
scissors mean? Cut & Paste? Cut what? Paste what? Paste what to what?
What is the matter with simple words like "insert" or "delete" or
"move"? If I wanted to see a picture show, I'd turn on the Boob Tube and
let the over-paid, shallow minded fools like Merv Watchamacallit do my
thinking for me. My opinion is, if you MUST have icons to run your
computer, you should really take up something that fits your mental
aptitude better - like knitting - or sky-diving, sans 'chute. One of the
great strengths of good MSDOS programs are simple menus, ready to use at
any time. No artsy-craftsy pictures of garbage cans and scissors...
Bob Talley
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
From The Kitchen: #3
by Chez Stephan
Well ok. We are well into summer and I guess most of you have either
been to the beach at least once or have a trip planned very soon. I
personally prefer the beach in winter. I can lay out here and get sun.
But the beach in winter is a completely different world. The seafood is
super and there are no crowds.
Anyway what I'm getting at is the fact that on your trip to the beach be
sure to bring home some fresh seafood, shellfish in particular. This
month I'm going to give you some hints for cooking shellfish as well as
a recipe or two or three I feel quite sure you will enjoy.
Shrimp should always be brown (actually some are greyish) in color when
purchased fresh. If at all possible get shrimp with the head on. You get
more shrimp per pound. When making seafood stock (recipe follows) you
will need the heads to get the right flavor. Shrimp are sized by count.
Eight to ten count will mean there are 8 to 10 shrimp per pound. These
are what some people call jumbo. The jumbo are good for stuffing as well
as grilling and bar-b-ques. In most recipes though you will need to use
16 to 20 count. These are a good size for most dishes as well as the
best for frying. Shrimp will usually cook in 3 to 5 minutes regardless
of the recipe you are using. Always add shrimp to soups and gumbos just
before the recipe is finished. With most soups that are not cream based
you can actually add the shrimp and turn the soup off. The remaining
heat will take care of cooking the shrimp.
!!!!!!!!!! NEVER OVER COOK SHRIMP !!!!!!!!!!
Herbed Shrimp Over Oven Baked Rice:
1/2 pound 16-20 count shrimp peeled
1/2 teaspoon Basil
1/2 teaspoon Thyme
2 tablespoons Parsley flakes
dash Rosemary
1/2 teaspoon Garlic
1/2 teaspoon Paprika
1 small Vidalia Onion
1 stick Unsalted Butter
Melt butter in fry pan and fry onions and herbs together until soft,
about five minutes. Add shrimp and stir until cooked. Serve on bed of
oven baked rice.
Oven Baked Rice:
6 tablespoons Butter
1/2 teaspoon Salt
1/2 teaspoon Black pepper
1/2 teaspoon White pepper
1 small Vidalia Onion Chopped
2 stalks Celery Chopped
3 Chicken Bullion Cubes
2 1/2 Cups Water
Melt 3 tablespoons of butter in the bottom of a pyrex dish. Cook onion
and celery until tender. Add water and herbs along with the chicken
bullion cubes and stir until dissolved. Add rice cover and bake in 375
degree oven for 45 minutes or until done.
Serve this meal with a nice white wine and some cheesecake.
Oysters. Oysters should always be bought in the shell. If you have to
though you can use shucked oysters that are packed in their own juice
(this juice is called liquor). Oysters that are in their shell should be
alive when eaten raw on the half shell. An oyster will live about three
days out of water if kept iced down. Oysters in the shell will keep
about 3 weeks if kept WELL iced. In a bag of oysters there is usually 12
to 15 dozen oysters.
Steamed Oysters:
Place several layers of wet burlap over the grill. Cover with scrubbed
oysters in the shells. The coals should be very hot. Lower lid and the
oysters will be perfectly steamed in a few minutes. When the oyster
shells open they are ready. You can also use beer instead of water to
steam the oysters but who wants to waste good beer.
Oyster Stew:
1 quart shucked oysters
1 quart Half and Half
1 pint Whole milk
1 stick Unsalted Butter
Salt
Fresh Ground Black Pepper
Paprika
Chopped Fresh Parsley
Oyster Crackers
Melt butter in a 3 quart heavy saucepan. Add oysters and liquor. Bring
to boiling point, but DO NOT boil. Stir in half and half, milk, salt,
pepper, and paprika. Heat, stirring constantly until edges of oysters
begin to curl. Stir in about 1 tablespoon parsley. Serve at once with
crackers. This will make about 10 servings. This is also best on a cold
winters evening when the gang is together for a football game or
whatever.
Crabs. Not the kind you get on a date. The best thing I can say about
crabs is to use meat that has already been removed from the shells. Even
then you will need to pick through the meat and remove shell fragments.
ALWAYS OPEN THE CONTAINER OF CRAB AND CHECK FOR AN AMMONIA ODOR.
She Crab Soup:
1 tablespoon Butter
2-3 drops Onion Juice
2 cups Crab Meat
3 1/2 cups Whole Milk
dash Nutmeg
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon Flour
1/2 teaspoon Accent
salt and white pepper
6 tablespoons Sherry
Put the butter, onion juice, and crab meat in the top of a double boiler
and simmer for 5 minutes. Combine 1/4 cup of milk, Worcestershire,
flour, Accent, nutmeg, salt and pepper. Stir until well blended. Heat
remaining milk and combine with flour-milk mixture. Add to crab and cook
slowly for 30 minutes. Pour into bowls and top with 1 tablespoon of
sherry.
Basic Seafood Stock:
This is need for gumbos as well as fish stews.
Start with 5 quarts of water. Add 1 pound of fish carcasses (do not use
the entrails or the heads), 1 pound of shrimp heads and shells, the
liquor off of a pint of oysters, 1 small onion, the tops of 1 bunch of
celery and 1 or 2 carrots. Bring to a boil. Do not cover. Simmer for 3
to 4 hours adding water as needed. Cook down to about 2 quarts of
liquid. Strain and pour into 2 quart jars. Store in fridge.
Special Thanks to Jimmy and Johnny Patronis, the owners of Captain
Andersons Restaurant in Panama City Florida. Most of these recipes are
from Captain Anderson's Secrets Cookbook.
That's going to do it for this month. Next month I will try do do some
things with saltwater fish. Until then Enjoy and Good Eating Chez
Stephan.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caught Again!
by Gina Gossip
To start this gossip column off we will tell you a little info
first. We had a BTN meeting again....what a meeting!! BTN was discussed
some but not much.....topics ranged from 'whatcha been up to' .. to
PKWARE....
We finally were graced with the presence of Mr. Gary Godsey. Ed
O'Neill and he hit it off real well....infact, we were wondering if
their screaming match would turn to blows.... nah not really but they
probably both had sore throats the next morning.
We had a photographer there, but he couldn't get the picture he
wanted most.....the only female there to dance on the table.
Yes, she had all the men to herself....eat your hearts out ladies!
The meetings are something everyone should experience one time or
another.....unreal!! Sure they are supposed to be talking about BTN, we
all believe that like we believe Christmas comes twice a year!!
We were not graced with a pair of spandex shorts though, we were
promised they would be worn next time if Michele would wear tighter
jeans.
No one passed out this time...that we know of anyway.
If there is any juicy information you would like on any of the
writers of BTN .. please send a comment to Mark Maisel with your request
and he will make sure I get it....and then you will get the answer..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area
NAME NUMBER BAUD RATES SUPPORTED
68FREE 933-7518 300, 1200
America Online Node 1 324-0193 300, 1200, 2400
America Online Node 2 324-0194 300, 1200, 2400
America Online Node 3 324-0195 300, 1200, 2400
America Online Node 4 251-2344 300, 1200, 2400
American BBS 674-1851 300, 1200, 2400
Birmingham Business BBS 856-0679 300, 1200, 2400
Bus System BBS 595-1627 300, 1200, 2400
Byte Me 979-2983 300, 1200, 2400
Channel 8250 785-7417 300, 1200, 2400
Club Phoenix 942-0252 300, 1200, 2400
Commodore Club-South 853-8718 300, 1200, 2400
D3 Systems BBS 663-2759 300, 1200, 2400
Duck Pond BBS 822-0956 300, 1200, 2400
Fear & Loathing 985-4856 300, 1200, 2400
Fortress BBS 664-9040 300, 1200
LZ Birmingham 870-7770 300, 1200, 2400
Magnolia BBS 854-6407 300, 1200, 2400
Nouveaux BBS 871-5551 300, 1200, 2400
Penny Arcade 226-1841 300, 1200, 2400
Pinson Valley Node 1 854-9661 300, 1200, 2400
Pinson Valley Node 2 854-9662 300, 1200, 2400, 9600
Point of No RETURN 664-9609 300, 1200, 2400
ST BBS 836-9311 300, 1200, 2400
Smitty's BBS 849-7349 1200
Sperry BBS 853-6144 300, 1200, 2400
The Connection Node 1 854-9074 1200, 2400
The Connection Node 2 854-2308 1200, 2400
The Realm Of Tarot BBS 870-7776 300, 1200
Twilight Zone 856-3783 300, 1200
Willie's DYM Node 1 979-1629 300, 1200, 2400
Willie's DYM Node 2 979-7739 300, 1200, 2400
Willie's RBBS 979-7743 300, 1200, 2400
Ziggy Unaxess 991-5696 300, 1200

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