74 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
74 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
Ü ÜßÝ Ü Ü Ü
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ßÝ ßÝ Ý Ý Ý
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Ý Û Ý Ý Ý
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BLaH Ý ß Ý ÜßÜ Ý Ý
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File ÝßÜ Ý ÜÝ ÝßÝÜÝ Written August 12th, 1992
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#023 Ý Ýig Ýong ÜßÝ Ýnd Ý Ýairy
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Ý Ý Ý Þ Ý Ý Ý
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ÝÜß ÝÜÜÝ ßÜÜßÞ ÜÝ ÞÜ
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Presents
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Ú ÄÄ ¿ <\
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"Why Christian Fundementalists are Pussies" <\
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³ by ³ <- Con, what the hell?
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Constantine </ - GS
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À ÄÄ Ù </
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After the astounding reception for my first file in this series,
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"Why Satanists are Pussies", I knew I was on to something big. I mean,
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when you have four animal sacrifices dumped on your lawn in two weeks'
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time, you have to be doing SOMETHING right. Thanks for the free steaks,
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fellas. Now, in the interest of equal time, I bring you the top ten
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reasons why Christian Fundementalists are pussies.
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10: The BEST thing about their religion is that, if you follow them,
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you don't have to burn in hell for all eternity. Talk about low
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standards.
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9: C.F.s insist that they are directly descended from Eve and Adam's
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family-- who else would be PROUD of four thousand years of inbreeding?
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8: Many C.F.s come from deep-south families, where the inbreeding practice
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continues to this day..
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7: The C.F. idea of heaven is a place where you worship and praise
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God, day in and day out, for all eternity. Low standards strike again.
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6: Attending a C.F. church service is like being in the front row of the
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Morton Downey Jr. show, but without the entertainment value.
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5: Republican Party membership is mandatory for all C.F.s, so they can
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be bigots AND assholes. Double your pleasure, double your fun.
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4: No pleasure and no fun. Unless you're a televangelist.
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3: Southern C.F.s are racing satanists for championship in the Farm
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Animal Abuse Sweepstakes.
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2: Not everybody looks good in white robes and hoods.
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And, the number one reason...
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1: PTL. Enough said.
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Well, that's this week's Fun List. Join us again next time for
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a look at "Why Environmentalist Extremists are Pussies". Or don't. It's
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your choice, and CHOICE, after all, is what certain elements in our society
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(cough, cough) are trying to stamp out.
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It's worth thinking about.
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{---End of file, safe-t-gonads says "3130 Bytes Total"----------------------}
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Then again, what isn't worth thinking about that is BLaH?
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BLaH <sigh>ts
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Nun-Beaters Anonymous [ <708>251-5094 ] 110/16.8k
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Carbon Nation [ <708>965-8965 ] 9600/16.8k
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The Insane Asylum [ <305>927-3028 ] 2400/16.8k
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The Realm Of Death [ <419>475-3089 ] 2400/16.8k
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This file goes out to con's girlfriend, cause she's so damn cool.
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{---Tan Line... brown and white, it's a race thing...-----------------------}
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