1222 lines
60 KiB
Plaintext
1222 lines
60 KiB
Plaintext
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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³First Release From... AWA Home: ³
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³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ThoughtCrime ³
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³ ³ / \ / \ ³ (617) 599-7154 ³
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³ ³ /-\ \/\/ /-\ ³ ³
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³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³
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³Anti Warez Association * August 1993 Edition (Volume I) * We Crack Skulls³
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³ ³
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³ Founding Members: Jason Farnon - Alexander Knox - Ozone Pilot ³
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ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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This is AWA's first release. We know why we started the group, but we
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have no idea where the hell we are heading. Before we can get into different
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aspects of 'zine writing, we must first put away the evil one, Timebomb.
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That is the sole purpose of this issue.
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"Shut up Buthead. Warez suck."
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OP, JF, AK
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Contents
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1) Introduction
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2) Official Document of Establishment
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3) The Evolution of a Warez D00d
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4) My K-rad Phish Phriend
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5) TGW Wannabe Courier
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6) The 0 Day Girl
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7) The Lame List
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8) Day in the Life of John Q. Warez
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9) The Story of the Pipeline
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10) Objective Critique of a TimeBomb Post
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11) Pirates With an Attitude Information
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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Official Document of Establishment:
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(Anti Warez Association (AWA)
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August 4th 1993
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Opening:
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It is hereforth proclaimeth the establishment of the Anti Warez
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Association by it's founders and charter members:
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Ozone Pilot
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Jason Farnon
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Alexander Knox
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On this date, Wednesday, August 4th Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Three, the
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Anti Warez Association announces it's establishment and openly begins
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soliciting membership.
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Document:
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The purpose of this document is to serve as a constitution of the
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group, and to lay forth it's policies and goals. The policies within
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have been reviewed and agreed upon by the Board of Directors, OP, JF, AK.
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They are subject to change without consultation on the part of the general
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membership. We are your holy rulerz. We make the big decisions. After all,
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we wouldn't start a group if we weren't in for some power trip, now would we?
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Association Motto/Slogan:
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"We don't crack software, we crack kitchen counters"
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Goals:
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The goal of the Anti Warez Association is to produce literature
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informing the general computer public of the horror, pain, and suffering of
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the individuals trapped in the warez world. We struggle to bring warez
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d00dez into therapy and treatment, and we support those who have recovered.
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We attack those who refuse help. We aim to please.
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Philosophy:
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There is life beyond warez. We have been there and back, we have
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seen the horrific damage it can cause. We have seen the pathetic souls
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who have fallen prey to multinode warez boards, we have witnessed the
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devastating effects of 3 gigs of online storage. We have see those scarred
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for life by local caller ratios. Nobody is beyond recovery, except the
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almighty leader of the evil warez world, Timebomb of 617. The black hole
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of waredom called TGW is an evil empire created upon greed, hoarding, and
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high speed HST. We will win, we will conquer.
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Membership Solicitation:
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Anyone, except the evil one himself, may join. In order to join,
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you must contact Jason Farnon, Alexander Knox, or Ozone Pilot for full
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information. The best way to join is to call the Archiving and Propaganda
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Department itself. It's called ThoughtCrime and it's number will be given
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a bit later. You will be required to read the latest AWA releases and be
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familiar with what we produce. You will be required to submit an essay that
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will be reviewed by the Board of Directors. There is no particular
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subject to deal with, but any type of parallel or symbolism of the tragic
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warez world is strongly suggested. It may be fiction or non-fiction.
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Whatever, we don't care. You may submit as many as you like. You will be
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contacted by one of the Directors as to your standing with the group, once
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your essay has been reviewed.
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Submissions:
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We request that all members in good standing submit at least one
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work per month. Submissions will be grouped together and released as
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the Directors deem necessary. There is no set schedule for releases. You
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may upload your submission to ThoughtCrime, or it may be sent to one
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of the Directors on another board.
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We do not dictate what you put in your essay. If the essay is not
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funny or creative, it will not be published. In other words, it has to meet
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certain criteria to be published. If you are a Good Guy, you will have no
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problem understanding the criteria. If you are one of The Evil One's
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disciples, it may be difficult. It's up to you.
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Rules of Conduct:
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1) Scorn the warez world
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2) Torment Timebomb and his cronies
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3) End of rules
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Note from the Directors -
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Ozone Pilot: "I am an artist. I create art. I create art that destroys
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what the warez d00dz hold dear. Through the printed word, we will triumph
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over Timebomb and the Critical Condition multinode empire. We will rule,
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it is just a matter of time. Pass the butter."
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Alexander Knox: "Greets go out to RZR, FLT, USA, THG, TDT, and of course
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TGW. Where would I be without you today? In three years you will realize
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everything you did today was stupid, remember that. "This lobster was alive
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when it hit the frothy, boiling water. The horror. The horror." Pass the
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peas please."
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Jason Farnon: "To say that I am against pirating software would be
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hypocritical. I am against the Warez society, the couriers, and those
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ansis really fucking piss me off. Yeh, and I use what I download, not
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donload for the sake of downloading. To sum it all up, 'Warez Suck.
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Huh-huh. Huh-huh.' Where's the 4C?"
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Contacting AWA:
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AWA is based out of ThoughtCrime. Call (617) 599-7154. There are no warez
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here. No surprise eh? Most anyone but The Child himself can get on.
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Submissions center and origin site for AWA releases. Liberate yourself,
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call now. No ANSI's. Just cracked kitchen counters and bludgeoned skulls
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of pathetic warez d00dz.
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Send AWA internet mail to: comrade@gnu.ai.mit.edu
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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The Evolution of a Warez D00d
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There is just a limit on how many warez d00dz I can take. Their 0
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day releases, their couriers, their ansis. Especially those fucking
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ansis. They just burn my retinas straight through. Anyways, I have
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realized that something must be done about these rodents. But the
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warez population is too large to kill with a simple copy of "BC's
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Quest for Tires." I have decided to turn to mass media in the hopes
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of reaching a larger section of the population. Warez d00dz, although
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surrounded by an elitist aura, are hardly that. They are the most
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moronic forms of intelligence on this planet and are very easily
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manipulated. Even a novice modemer should not be intimidated by them.
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He should look at them as a gold-mine of opportunity. As someone on
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irc said so wonderfully,
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"#hack is full of users who steal software,
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#warez is full of users who steal software,
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and tell everybody about it."
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amen.
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so on with it...
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There are many aspects of a Warez d00d that need to be discussed.
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But to start off for the completely baffled, I will explain the warez
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subculture as briefly as possible. Warez d00dz get illegal copies of
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copyrighted software. If it has copy protection on it, they break the
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protection so the software can be copied. Then they distribute it
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around the world via several gateways. Warez d00dz form badass group
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names like RAZOR and the like. They put up boards that distribute the
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latest ware, or pirate program. The whole point of the Warez sub-
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culture is to get the pirate program released and distributed before
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any other group. I know, I know. But don't ask, and it won't hurt as
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much. This is how they prove their poweress. It gives them the right
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to say, "I release King's Quest IVXIX before you so obviously my
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testicles are larger." Again don't ask...
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The Evolution of the Warez d00d
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Understand the warezdome is a stage. An uncomfortable stage that
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for some passes quickly, while for others painfully lingers for
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eternity. It rarely can be avoided. That is understandable. Even
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the best of the best have been hit by Warez fever once or twice in
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their lives. But they wouldn't be the best if they still had it.
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Those that still have it are Warez d00dz, and they will always have
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it. Its like that 35 year old guy at the Butcher Shop who is still
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going through puberty. You almost have to feel sorry for him, but
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modern medicine only can do so much.
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So how do these stages work? Well, to better understand these
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stages, I will use a local Warez d00d whose handle is 'Timebomb' as an
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example. Local for me being 617 area code. I am using Timebomb not
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as revenge, but because his story is such a classic example of
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warezdom, and because his idiocy convinced me to write this. Timebomb
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liked playing arcade games. Those beeps and zonks used to let him
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escape from reality; which was very sad for him to say the least. He
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loved melting away in a euphoria of pac-man and arkanoids. There is
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nothing he would rather do than sit at the arcade all day blasting
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aliens. Escape from his annoying parents, those kids at school who
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beat the shit out of him, and other things of the like. This brings
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me into another great point that I will get into later. That is that
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warez d00dz are not what their handle sounds like. So if you find a
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Warez d00d with the handle "Master of Destruction Huge Motherfucker I
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will rip your Fucking Head Off," think the exact opposite, and that
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is approximately what the warez d00d looks/acts like. Timebomb is
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a great example. You expect a Timebomb to be crazy and volatile,
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exploding any second sending bits and pieces of shrapnel into little
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children; hardly.
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I hate tangents. That paragraph was getting too long anyways.
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So to continue these splurges at the arcade took a big bite out of
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Timebomb's piggy bank. Being sexually repressed like most Warez d00dz
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are, he had to keep his pornography collection in good stock. (I am
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not flaming. Although it may sound rude, I'm just speaking the
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truth.) So he decided to get a computer, to play arcade games at
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home. He could have the enjoyment of pole position but now with two
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added bonuses: 1) Electricity would be the only expenditure 2) He
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wouldn't have to interact with people as much. So he got his first
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computer for his birthday, after begging his parents profusely, and
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doing some special favors for his father. (That was a direct flame
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having no factual backup. Disregard it.) The computer came in.
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There is no need to go into details. Lets just say it had a power
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switch, which is all that mattered for Timebomb. The computer was
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shabby, but Timebomb was amazed by the machine. He now had a new
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friend. It would not bother him, would act on his every command, and
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would not make fun of him. He loved it, and spent a plethora of hours
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playing with it. His grades dropped, but it did not matter. He
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stopped eating, sleeping, and spent his hours on the computer. His
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parents wondered what had happened to their son. No this is not a
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story of a hacker breaking into Western Union like Fry Guy. No,
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Timebomb was not infiltrating NASA. Timebomb got Warez fever, and he
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had it bad.
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How exactly did Timebomb get this fever? Well its no something
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thats going around in school. Nor is it something that you can take
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drugs or get a vaccine for. Warez fever does different things for
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different people, and its effect are varied on the individual.
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Timebomb to this day still has it, and its ferocity is much stronger
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than the day he got it. So how exactly did Timebomb get the fever?
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When he got his computer, he started playing the games that came with
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the computer. There were not too many of them. A kid or two at
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school would start copying games for him. He liked these games a lot
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better and wondered how the kid had such a steady flow of games. He
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found files with the extension .nfo in some of the games. They
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heralded the groups that gave the software to everybody, the members
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of the groups, when the program was released, and bulletin boards to
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get more software from. The concept of bbs was foreign to Timebomb.
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Sure he had heard about them, but call one? Never! The games were
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getting harder and harder for Timebomb to play, and he decided that
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he'd better get a joystick, to enhance his gaming pleasure. His
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parents gave him the money for some holiday or another. But before
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Timebomb went out and purchased t he joystick, something shiny caught
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his eye in the newspaper. A 1200 bps modem for only 29.95! With a
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little spare change instead of getting a joystick, he could
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communicate with the world! He decided the joystick would have to
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wait; he wanted more games. Here we have the first sign of Warez
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fever. Warez d00dz collect large amounts of programs on bulletin
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boards and on hard disks without even running them. The idea that
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they have a lot of programs is enough for them to buy more hard disk
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space. This phenonema is called being a "warez pk-rat". Note that the
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"a" was left out intentionally. This is due to the use of the file
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compressor "pk-zip", that warez d00dz rely heavily on to store their loads
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of warez.
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So now Timebomb had his modem. He hurriedly installed it into his
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computer. While he was setting the dip switches, something hit him.
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His hardware is old, and the storage of games takes speed and space.
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Maybe he should opt for a better computer? Another sign of Warez
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fever... Wanted hardware just for the sake of warez. That is no
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reason to have hardware. Timebomb called a local board his friend has
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given him and saw the fateful message:
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CONNECT 1200
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That was the beginning of the end. Timebomb called Public Domain
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boards in his calling circle, and from them he got the numbers of
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other boards in the area. He downloaded public domain software, and
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was happy, but not happy enough. He knew there was copyrighted
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software out there. The real computer underground as his friends
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bragged. He wanted to have the latest games, and become a
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Cybercriminal. Then the kids at school would know he is cool!
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"Fucking assholes will have to learn the hard way!" he thought to
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himself as he drank his Ovaltine. After a large amount of coaxing of
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a classmate, and a large sum of money being exchanged, Timebomb got
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the phone number of a local pirate bulletin board. He ran home,
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almost getting hit by a car, but he did not care! He would be a
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software pirate, just like in the movies. He dialed the number, got
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his familiar 'CONNECT 1200' message, but then something strange
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happened. The system hung up on him with the message 'bad rate too
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lôÞDŸp“–´" He wonder what this meant so he called back again and
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again, with the same exact result. He ran back to his friend and told
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him his story. His friend explained that pirate programs were too
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large to be transferred at 1200 baud, and many pirate boards do not
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allow that speed callers to call. He did mention that long distance
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pirate bulletin boards sometimes will let low speed callers in,
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because they are paying for the phone call.
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Timebomb ran back home. He realized he had a huge list of pirate
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bulletin boards in those .nfo files from those games, and he started
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dialing them profusely. One by One by One. Many he got erased off
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because the systems felt he did not have any references. Other less
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elitist pirate boards he got accepted onto. Those pirate boards he
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could later use as references. He started understand more and more of
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the warez subculture, downloading games and even became a courier for
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a group called WRU (Warez R' Us). Everything was peachy, and he was
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spending more and more time on the computer. He did not care, but his
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parents did. They cared even more when they got his phone bill, which
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was to say the least four digits. Reality hit Timebomb. What the
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hell was he doing? He cannot possibly call these long distance boards
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and expect not to be charged for them! This was crazy! He needed to
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lay off the long distance boards and get on more of the local ones.
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So he skipped a baud and went out and purchased a 9600 baud modem.
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Surly the investment would save him grief in the long run. Since he
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now had expertise in the warez scene, he had no problem getting access
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to local pirate bulletin boards. And this is where Timebomb stands to
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this day. Of course he has had occasional pangs to call long distance
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boards again, and his phone bill is there to prove it. He has started
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his own group called TGW (Those Great Warez). And what do they do may
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I ask? They release Warez of course! Very lame if you ask me.
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Let me quickly go back. I said that warezdom was a stage. People
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move on. Some people stay in the Public Domain stage. Some go into a
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different stage after warez, which I would rather not talk about here.
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But the worst place to be left is warez. Warezdom is a waste land.
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There is nothing more humiliating or painful to live in a warez world.
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It is even worse when you want to go out of the warez world, but you cannot
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help couriering. Its like that bourbon in the morning. You just need to
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have it. Its too late to stop. Then I would justify suicide.
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So now that you realize in very basic terms how a warez dood gets
|
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to his present state, lets get into one's psyche. Its very easy
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because they are so textbook. Freud would be proud. Warez d00ds are
|
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for the most part loosers. In loosers I mean unsuccessful at the game
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||
of life. They are shunned by society, and loved only by their mother.
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They rarely have friends, and it is even a bigger rarity to see them
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||
with someone of the opposite sex. They shun companionship, because
|
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the only companion ship they need is their terminal and they friends
|
||
on the other end of the phone line. Warez d00dz get along so well
|
||
because they can relate to each other so damn well. They are all
|
||
pathetic in their own little way. Although they do not realize they
|
||
are pathetic, they see their lameness in their fellow warez d00dz and
|
||
indirectly the hook up and relate. Its actually very simple.
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BELONG
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That is the only word you will need to know. Warez d00dz want to
|
||
belong. They have been shunned by everyone, and thus turn to
|
||
cyberspace for acceptance. That is why they always start groups like
|
||
TGW, FLT, USA and the like. Structure makes them happy. They belong
|
||
to a group. They courier for a group. Fuck the phone bills, I
|
||
fucking belong man! They crack for a group. Their board distributes
|
||
for a group. These groups sometimes charge money and boards pay to
|
||
get the latest 0 day warez. Sometimes over one hundred dollars a
|
||
month. If this isn't moronic in its own right, I don't know what is.
|
||
Warez d00dz will never have a handle like "Pink Daisy" because warez
|
||
d00dz are insecure. Only someone who is very secure with a good dose
|
||
of self-esteem can stand up to the cries of fag and girlie-man. More
|
||
likely you will find warez d00dz with handles like: Doctor Death,
|
||
Deranged Lunatic, Hellraiser, Mad Prince, Dreamdevil, The Unknown,
|
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Renegade Chemist, Terminator, and Twin Turbo. They like to sound
|
||
badass when they can hide behind their terminals. More likely, if
|
||
you were given a sample of 100 people, the person whose handle is
|
||
Hellraiser is the last person you'd associate with the name. There
|
||
are loosers in the world who have not discovered computers. Everyone
|
||
knows one or two of these insecure people. And you know as well as I
|
||
do that those people are as easy as hell to manipulate. So warez
|
||
d00dz can not be any harder. Right? Right!
|
||
|
||
Basically when you apply for a warez board, you will be asked one
|
||
or more of these questions. They are elitist in the baud they allow
|
||
to get on, so if you do not have that baud, you are fucked. Once you
|
||
get on, there will be questions:
|
||
|
||
What kind of hardware do you have?
|
||
|
||
Always answer with the best available.
|
||
i.e. 486/50 16 Megz Ram 800 Meg hard drive
|
||
Warez d00dz don't leave their terminals, its not like they'll check.
|
||
|
||
What are you three best boards?
|
||
|
||
Get an info file and pick some boards. Put them down. They dont
|
||
check.
|
||
|
||
What are your three latest Warez?
|
||
|
||
Very important because no matter what you answer for the other
|
||
questions if you kick ass on this one you're all set. Remeber that
|
||
Warez d00dz love decimal points, the word Beta, and Unreleased. Take
|
||
a prominent application. Microsoft Windows per se. Adding a number
|
||
i.e. Microsoft Windows 4.0 is going too far. But saying you have
|
||
Microsoft Windows 3.2 Unreleased will get a warez d00d drooling. You
|
||
will be let on, and then you can worm yourself out of your like. Pick
|
||
up any issue of COMPUTE! magazine and jot down the latest games. Then
|
||
say you have them.
|
||
|
||
Users that can vouch for you?
|
||
|
||
Don't put users that are on that board, because they obviously don't
|
||
know you! Put obscure people. Make shit up for god's sake.
|
||
Suicidal Muppet from the UK. Runs an invite only board. Talk to him.
|
||
6 gigs latest warez.
|
||
|
||
drool
|
||
drool
|
||
drool
|
||
|
||
You get the picture. Its very simple, because everyone needs warez
|
||
once in a while. Its not like people go out and buy software =) But
|
||
to hoard and release is disqusting.
|
||
|
||
Here are some excerpts from the message bases from a local board
|
||
called Shinbone Alley. Its a decent warez board, that HAD good
|
||
discussion and was not caught up in the 0 day warez fever. That is
|
||
until the sysop went away for the summer. Now to say the least its
|
||
total anarchy, but i'm not complaining...
|
||
|
||
|
||
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
>FYI - My board IS up, and I am keeping the Number private, right
|
||
>now only about 10 Locals have it, and i am accepting 5% Locals....
|
||
|
||
> Timebomb -=TGW=-
|
||
>timebomb@critical.cond.com
|
||
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Lets analyze this. First of all, his board just went up, and he
|
||
is allready being a typical Warez d00d. Elitist at best. He allready
|
||
is only allowing five percent of callers to be local. That way long
|
||
distance callers can bring 0 day warez from all corners of the globe.
|
||
And he belongs to something. He signs '-=TGW=-' with everything, so
|
||
we know he is not a misfit. When he really is...
|
||
|
||
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
>Alright, you hate warez? Hmm, SO, i guess you are running on a fully
|
||
>registered legit copy of DOS, and a fully registered legit Comm program.
|
||
>And what about the Celerity you were running, it was not paid for! Hmm, use
|
||
>a word processor? And i suppose you paid over $300 to go to a store any buy
|
||
>it, It seems that your D/L activity, I have the logs, on other boards, i.e.
|
||
>Oasis, ASCII seems to show you Download alot of Warez....
|
||
|
||
> Timebomb -=TGW=-
|
||
>timebomb@critical.cond.com
|
||
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
See how stupid warez rodents are?! They just don't get it. Its very
|
||
simple. I pirate software when I need it. I don't turn it into a
|
||
cult with elitist rules and moronic hierarchy. I don't run up a 600
|
||
dollar phone bill getting the warez out to Madagascar so my group gets
|
||
recognition. Hey, I just might have something better to do with my
|
||
time/life.
|
||
|
||
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
>Alright Jason Farnone or however the fuck you spell it. You think you are
|
||
>such a fucking Internet kool dude....Well, Try these on:
|
||
|
||
>138.23.106.203 PC/MAC wAreZ site.
|
||
>134.68.6.2 ETHOME MAC site
|
||
>131.174.224.37 (IBM?) Amiga wArEz
|
||
>129.125.6.206 Amiga/Cray/VMS
|
||
>128.2.206.138 Occult/IBM software/bondage images
|
||
>141.215.69.5 Mac/IBM site
|
||
>128.83.138.124 Tasteless Image site
|
||
>132.254.90.4 IBM/mac wArEz,Gif/Jpg Porn
|
||
>129.79.1.15 Boys Pics/Software
|
||
>128.178.79.121 oriental/Bondage XXX erotica site
|
||
>129.10.50.137 Erotic stories/images.
|
||
>146.193.0.68 Archived erotic image site
|
||
>192.70.34.205 Sophia Antipolis. Erotic image site
|
||
>129.79.232.230 Gay/Guy Pics (Women with toys)
|
||
>130.161.145.137 GIF/JPG/Porn images 24 hours
|
||
>134.148.96.105 Bondage erotica images
|
||
>129.229.1.56 Nude Pics
|
||
|
||
|
||
(Ed Note: I cut down the list. It was a lot bigger.)
|
||
|
||
> Brought to you by: TIMEBOMB
|
||
|
||
|
||
>All of these are WAREZ sites, with some porn Gif filez thrown in, So, who
|
||
>is so kool after all...??????
|
||
|
||
|
||
>OH YEA - the site: 138.23.106.203 has over 18gigs of WAREZ!
|
||
|
||
|
||
>AND THEY ALL WORK, TESTED AS OF 07/13/93
|
||
|
||
>ú ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ú
|
||
>ú ³ Timebomb ³ úÛ
|
||
>ú ³ President -=TGW=- ³ úÛ
|
||
>ú ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ úÛ
|
||
> ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß
|
||
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
This is a warez d00dz attempt to become a hacker while still sufering
|
||
from warez syndrome. Its not like he is in recovery, he still has it bad.
|
||
So he attempts to post soem cool shit on the internet, but instead posts
|
||
places with "18 gigs of Warez" and "Boys Pics". We don't want to get into
|
||
Timebomb's sexual orientation. He is even so proud of his hacker post that
|
||
he has branded his name in capitols on it. At the bottom of the screen is
|
||
again that big flag that says, "I'm Insecure!" Now he has it in a cool ansi
|
||
box, and its no longer just '-=TGW=-'. Now he is president of something!
|
||
Won't momma be proud. I told her her son would be president one day! She
|
||
never listened said I was a failure playing computer games. Ahh, the
|
||
horror....
|
||
|
||
As you can see warez doodz are a life form below gnats. They are
|
||
loosers in real life, and with little thinking are loosers in
|
||
cyberspace. They're stuck. Their damn fucking ansis are hurting my
|
||
damn head. die. die. die. But before I leave, i'll let Ozone Pilot
|
||
finish...
|
||
|
||
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
>Why do we have this urge to flame you? Heh, if you saw a roach on your
|
||
>kitchen counter, you'd crush it right? If you saw a squirrel in the road,
|
||
>you'd hit the gas pedal right? If you saw Ultima VXIXII on a warez board,
|
||
>you'd download it right? Well, you get the idea...
|
||
|
||
>You leave yourself open to it. You are a sitting duck.
|
||
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
amen.
|
||
|
||
jason farnon
|
||
ozone pilot
|
||
|
||
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
||
|
||
|
||
My K-Rad Phish Phriend / Warezeriffic Aquatic Courier
|
||
|
||
|
||
I was not the type to ever doubt the existance of lower forms of intelligence.
|
||
So I went out. Today, I went out and to the pet store. It was warm today.
|
||
Really warm. So I went to the pet store.
|
||
Let me tell you about my friend, before we get any further into this
|
||
story. He's pretty lazy, and never really goes anywhere. Doesnt say much,
|
||
very quiet person. He's always around when you need him, which isnt often
|
||
because there really is no practical use for him. He is always wet. Always.
|
||
He is entrapped, you see, in my room, in a small 10 gallon tank. He is a
|
||
fish, in case you havent realized that by now. A small fish, about 2 inches
|
||
long, with a black stripe and red fins. He looked awefully lonely today,
|
||
so I figured I would cheer him up and bring him a companion. So I hopped
|
||
in the elite mobile and drove straight to the pet shop. They moved the tanks
|
||
since the last time I had visited, and I was awefully confused for several
|
||
minutes. I started to panic, and I blacked out. When I came to, I got
|
||
off the floor and cought a glimpse of the tanks new area, in the back of
|
||
the store. Whew.
|
||
I wandered into the area, and skimmed past all the goldfish, all
|
||
the little glowing fish, and past the fish that sported teeth. As much as
|
||
I wanted to introduce one of those guys to my friend, they were to expensive.
|
||
I would rather spend that money on a new toaster. So I came to a tank that
|
||
contained "Aggresive Fishes", and they were reasonably priced! I bought one.
|
||
The guy who had the responsibility of removing my new friend from his
|
||
tank had a tough time getting him out. I laughed. I also laughed because
|
||
he wore a wool sweater, and it was 90 degrees. He finally bagged my new
|
||
friend. He escorted me to the counter, and requested $3.14 for my friend.
|
||
I gave him $3.25, and I got my change and walked out the door. Yes, I have
|
||
a new friend. So I took him and put him on the front seat and drove him
|
||
home.
|
||
While he was still in his bag, I poked a little hole in it and
|
||
put it in my fish tank, so he could adjust to the ph (this is good practice
|
||
for healthy friend maintenance).
|
||
My old friend if afraid of him, because he is a fellow-friend eater.
|
||
He will eat my old friend in time, and it will be fun to watch. Hehe.
|
||
I will upload the GIF's of that monumental event.
|
||
|
||
Epilogue:
|
||
|
||
I plan on bringing my new friend up to be as rad as me. In a couple of months
|
||
I will teach him the basics of warez-0-radum and kewlness. Hopefully, he
|
||
will even be able to get an account on Critical Condition. Timebomb
|
||
will have trouble voice-validating him though. But once my new friend is
|
||
on Critical Condition, you can bet he will courier the latest -0 day ANSI's
|
||
and all the -89 day warez. He will be cool. No, make that k-k00l.
|
||
|
||
|
||
Those Great WareZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
||
|
||
|
||
ozone pilot
|
||
|
||
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
A day in the life of a TGW wannabe courier. June 12, 2012
|
||
|
||
|
||
Larry Hickman sat mesmorized in front of his computer. He had just
|
||
downloaded the most recent TGW application. He wanted to courier so badly,
|
||
but he was afraid he wasnt elite enough. Wallowing in his self-worthlessness,
|
||
Larry got up, grabbed his coat, and headed downtown on foot, to gather his
|
||
thoughts and get a 19 Hole Fatty down at Grease Heaven.
|
||
When he got to the joint, he bumped into his old friend Bruce
|
||
Shepherd. Bruce looked different now, he had an certain gleem to him that
|
||
only the TGW couriers had. He certainly wasnt the same old Bruce that he
|
||
had known before Bruce joined TGW. He was elite. Larry put his head down
|
||
and shuffled past. Bruce didnt notice him. Larry swung open the door and
|
||
was hit in the face with a warm blast of air. He slumped against the
|
||
counter and ordered up a 19 Hole Fatty, extra lard. The voices of the kids
|
||
in the elite-section of the restaurant wisped through the air. Larry heard
|
||
talk about the latest 0 day ANSI's and TGW's new releases. The kid behind
|
||
the counter asked if he would like to sit in elite or non-elite. Glancing
|
||
over to the non elite section, Larry noticed the sad looking souls, the
|
||
ones who never made it into TGW. "I'll have that to go" Larry muttered.
|
||
With food in tow, Larry trudged back to the house. In the distance, he
|
||
heard a low growling noise, like an idling trailer truck. He kept walking.
|
||
Kicking open the unlocked door, Larry walked into the living room
|
||
and sat down in front of his computer. The TGW application was still on
|
||
the screen. Larry considered filling it out anyway. What the hell. With
|
||
the 19 Hole in one hand, and his other hand on the keyboard, Larry started
|
||
to type. A maniacle smile appeared on his face. TGW was his destination.
|
||
TGW was his fate.
|
||
His typing went faster, he threw the burger down onto the floor and
|
||
started typing with both hands. He went faster and faster, and his fingers
|
||
strained with the typing speed. He started to breath faster, and faster.
|
||
Suddenly, he couldnt stand it anymore. He pounded his fist through the
|
||
keyboard and straight through the wood desk. With his other hand, he
|
||
drove a fist straight through his new Multi-Sync monitor. He yanked his
|
||
hand out of the plastic case and watched gleefully as the blood pored down
|
||
his arm. He looked up at his poster of the Immortal Warez God and shouted
|
||
"I shall become one with TGW!". He ripped his shirt off, grabbed modem, and
|
||
smashed it with all his might against his skull. He kept bashing it until
|
||
the modem crumbled to peices. He put a hand on his shattered skull and with
|
||
drew it, satisfied at the stream of blood and tissue running out. He then
|
||
stripped down totally naked, and then ran through the kitchen and dived
|
||
right through the glass storm door. Flying shards of glass tore through
|
||
every part of his body. He got up off the porch and ran into the street.
|
||
There, he heard the noise again. The rumbling was getting closer, and closer
|
||
still. Then, in the distance, he saw it.
|
||
Heading towards him was the TGW Lamer/Fed Steamr0ller 0f DeAtH,
|
||
piloted by Timebomb himself, with Bartman riding shotgun. This was no
|
||
ordinary steam roller, this was a turbo charged Critical Condition
|
||
3000 model XT. It was roaring towards Larry's naked body at 88 miles per
|
||
hour (same speed necessary for the Back to the Future time machine to leap).
|
||
Larry looked down at the pool of blood forming at his feet. He spit out
|
||
a few teeth and looked back up. The LaMeR MaMeR was getting closer, and
|
||
Larry could see the whites of Timebombs eyes. Thoughts of 2 Gigs of online
|
||
storage shot through Larry's mind. Larry stood still, and the LaMeR MaMeR
|
||
drew closer. Finally, Larry looked skywards and screamed "I will never
|
||
be a TGW courier! I am a 'lamer', I sacrafice myself to the immortal
|
||
warez god himself, Timebomb!" The LaMeR MaMeR slammed into Larry at full
|
||
speed. Larry's frail bloody body exploded violently into a glob of flying
|
||
blood and tissue. His head ran right under the forward roller and was
|
||
instantly flattened paper thin, exploding brain tissue everywhere.
|
||
As fast as the LaMeR MaMeR had come, it was gone. It rumbled into
|
||
distance, and Larry's body layed smeared all over the street. A dog barked.
|
||
And it was over.
|
||
|
||
TGW will get you. Fear the lamer witch hunt. Worship the WaReZ. Courier
|
||
the ANSI's. And maybe Timebomb will let you live...
|
||
|
||
|
||
ozone pilot
|
||
|
||
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
The 0 Day Girl
|
||
|
||
There was an explosion of noise that nearly rocked the house.
|
||
Timebomb was woken from his sleep and smashed the alarm clock against the
|
||
floor. He opened his eyes and glanced out the window at the blues sky and
|
||
warm sunlight of this August morning. As much as he wanted to sucumb to the
|
||
temptation of more sleep, he knew he had to rise. There were ANSI's to
|
||
download, more warez to courier, more credit card numbers to abuse, more
|
||
k0de linez to call. It was a tough life, but he had to live it. His was
|
||
the life of -=TGW=- President.
|
||
He turned his head to the right and then realized he was not alone.
|
||
He had almost forgotten about her. How could he? Last night was great with
|
||
her, she really knew how to please. She knew just how to hit his warez site,
|
||
and she really raised his PCR. She was the 0 day girl.
|
||
Timebomb had first seen the 0 day girl on that LD board he calls so
|
||
much. As he read the FILE_ID.DIZ, he knew she was special, he knew that
|
||
this was the ware he had been looking for all his life. He knew he had to
|
||
download her. She was 1.2 megs, a little pudgy, she had a gorgeous set of
|
||
.exe files, and her crack was amazing. He began the transfer, knowing that
|
||
this was the ware he would marry. When the transfer was done, he hung right
|
||
up, not bothering to courier his latest warez. He unzipped her into a
|
||
directory, and their eyes met. It was love at first distro site. It was
|
||
meant to be perfect in an imperfect warez world. They were a match.
|
||
From that day on, Timebomb and the 0 day girl went everywhere. When
|
||
he couldnt gaze into her .doc's, he took her on disk wherever he went. He
|
||
ate with her, he took her every place he had to go. Thank god for 3.5"
|
||
disks, he just would never had been able to accomplish this with 5.25"
|
||
floppies. 8" floppies would have been a nightmare, but it didnt matter. He
|
||
would have still taken her.
|
||
He kept a GIF of her in his wallet, so he could show it to his
|
||
friends. On August 2, 1993, they married. She was the perfect wife, a
|
||
devouted spouse. She did everything for Timebomb. When Bartman came over
|
||
for a few k00l-aids, she had FTP-Burgers made up for all of them. She made
|
||
a mean K0de-line cake. At night, when it was dark, she gave herself to
|
||
Timebomb, letting him fondle her soft .com's and lick her patch. It was
|
||
heaven for Timebomb, this was the ware of his dreams. Timebomb kept up
|
||
his dutiful commitment to the warez world, uploading and downloading every
|
||
imaginable peice of useless software to file away on the hard drive, never
|
||
even to be unzipped or used. Then, one day, his world perfect world came
|
||
down like a crashing gig Seagate.
|
||
Timebomb woke one morning and noticed immediately that she was not
|
||
there. The sheets had been pulled back, and she was no where. He figured
|
||
she was in the kitchen, making a batch of fairlight for breakfast. He got
|
||
up and shuffled towards the kitchen. As he got closer, he heard a pounding
|
||
noise, like a hammer against plastic. It got louder as he got nearer to the
|
||
kitchen. He burst throught the kitchen door, but she wasnt there! The
|
||
smashing was now louder. "Zero Day Warez Girl? Where are you?@? Are you
|
||
ok?!?" he shouted in panic. The noise was coming from underneath him, a
|
||
steady throbbing. He rushed over to the basement door and ripped it off it's
|
||
hinges. The noise came rushing up the stairs and almost knocked him over.
|
||
He dashed down the stairs and stared in horror as the 0 day warez girl
|
||
swung a sledgehammer into his shiny NEC monitor. The monitor exploded at
|
||
the mercy of the heavy tool. She threw the sledgehammer toward Timebomb, but
|
||
he ducked it. She grabbed a Skilsaw off the shelf and revved it up, glancing
|
||
over her shoulder with an evil grin while she slowly sliced Timebombs new
|
||
4 gig tapedrive in half. Timebomb stood speechless, paralyzed with shock
|
||
and helpless. She then threw the saw at him, and he ducked again.
|
||
Next, she drove her fist through the case of Timebombs 586/125 and
|
||
and tore the 2.7 gig Western Digital IDE right off the bolts holding it to
|
||
the case. Holding it in her hand, she shoved the drive into her mouth
|
||
and swallowed it whole. Then, the final blow to Timebomb came. She reached
|
||
for the modem. Finally, words peirced Timebomb's quivering lips - "Noooooo!"
|
||
It was a shreik like a wounded wolf, the cry of a broken man. Timebomb
|
||
started to shiver violently and shake at an astonishing rate. She held
|
||
the modem in her hands, wearing a happy smirk. She opened the washing
|
||
machine and filled it with hot water and Clorox. Time stood still as she
|
||
held the modem over the open mouth of the Kenmore on "cotton". Timebomb
|
||
began drooling and twitching, his legs could hardly support him anymore.
|
||
Time sped up to a slow pace as the modem gracefully toppled off her palm
|
||
and glided into the washer, with a wet slap. She chuckled, and closed
|
||
the lid.
|
||
What happened next is impossibly to write about in a comprehensive
|
||
manner, but basically Timebomb melted and slid down the basement drain.
|
||
He has never been heard from again.
|
||
|
||
Epilogue:
|
||
|
||
The Zero Day Warez Girl was a Trojan. Dont pitty Timebomb, this was a risk
|
||
he took dating in the warez world. While chiding a certain character named
|
||
"Bunky" on a local bulletin board about his need for a "fuck", Timebomb
|
||
was sleeping with the warez enemy. Dont feel bad for him. There are a
|
||
million others. Is'nt that what multi-nodes are for?
|
||
|
||
|
||
ozone pilot
|
||
|
||
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
||
|
||
|
||
The Lame List
|
||
|
||
(Ed: If you don't understand this, watch Comedy Central a little more.
|
||
If you do not have a TV, read this article aloud. Its best read with
|
||
7 friends. One being the announcer and the 6 others screaming LAME
|
||
when its their turn.)
|
||
|
||
|
||
And now "Almost Live" <tm> presents the LAME LIST or whats weak
|
||
this week! Today we will be talking to the 0 day couriers who
|
||
distribute for the United State's most elite warez groups. Shall we
|
||
begin...?!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Warez Boards with less than three nodes!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
That wallows in lameness!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Warez Boards that let more than three local callers on!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
How would we run up mommy's phone bill?!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Warez Boards that do not have USR v.fast and allow low
|
||
speed 9600 callers to access the system!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: The SPA!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
That is LAMER than LAME!
|
||
Ahhhhhhh!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Boards that are not AE and have message bases!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME
|
||
Message bases suck!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Files on bulletin boards that are offline!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Buying software!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Boards that do not have at least 10 distribution sites in
|
||
every area code!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Boards with 1 day Warez!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
Those are OLD man!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: When they don't tell you you have to use '-d'!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Getting girlie-action!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
When would we have time to courier!?
|
||
|
||
Announcer: PCRs!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
I never got the hang of the communication thing!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Boards with less than 3 gigs of storage space!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
Where would we put the 345 Meg VGA Version of King's Quest IVXX?
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Warez without FILE_ID.DIZ!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
How lame can you get?
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Using your brain!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
duh, thats lame!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: 800 Dollar Phone Bills!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Eastern European nations shifting to a free market economy!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : huh? wha? What did he say?! Who cares, lets download.
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Going outside!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Any transfer below 2000 cps!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
Jesus we're getting deeper and deeper into the lame pit!
|
||
|
||
Announcer: Actually unzipping and using the Warez you courier!
|
||
|
||
Couriers : LAME! LAME! LAME! LAME!
|
||
That is the lamest one of all!
|
||
|
||
|
||
There you have it! Tune in next week for the lame list, when we will
|
||
be talking to TGW distribution site sysops!
|
||
|
||
jason farnon
|
||
|
||
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
||
|
||
|
||
A Day in the life of John Q. Warez
|
||
|
||
Our story begins one sunny day in the quaint town of Ornestable.
|
||
The citizens of this town are all law abiding, fun loving people, who never
|
||
in their wildest dreams would do anything to harm any large software
|
||
companies or small time software programmers. All except one...
|
||
|
||
John Q. Warez
|
||
|
||
John Q. Warez who I will refer to from now on as John Q., has a
|
||
problem. He recently purchased a new USR 16.8 Dual Standard fully warez-bbs
|
||
compatible modem. How proud his fellow bbs'ers would be. He installed and
|
||
fired up his new communications program "Warez-c0mm 2.01B". He dialed
|
||
up his favorite board, Warez Mania Multinode, and newscanned the file areas.
|
||
He looked over the new -78 day warez and drooled at the prospect of
|
||
downloading at 1900 CPS. One particular program caught his eye - Win/2,
|
||
a new operating system just released by Bill Gates' new company, Total
|
||
World Domination Software, Inc. This new ware had a built in GIF viewer,
|
||
an improved WinMine, and could make a toaster cook a pop tart in 30 seconds
|
||
with it's SCSI multitasking interface. John Q. needed this. He set up
|
||
the batch to download the 45 disks, while he viewed the latest Tracy Lords
|
||
GIF's with his spiffy copy of Desqview. When the 5 hour download was done,
|
||
John set about setting up Win/2. He was really amazed at his new software,
|
||
it was all he ever needed.
|
||
After he was done installing, he was looking throughout the directory
|
||
at the FILE_ID.DIZ. He decided, for no particular reason, to read the file.
|
||
What he saw was interesting. The file had been recently released by a
|
||
certain group called TGW, or Those Great Warez. This particular cracking
|
||
and couriering group was lead by the infamous Timebomb of 617, a
|
||
individual who John had read about in a recent Boardwatch magazine. It
|
||
seems that this child was busted by the fedz after an unfortunate incident
|
||
involving a credit card scam, the FBI, the SPA, NSA, USSS, KKK, MI5, Dominos
|
||
Pizza, a disgruntled airport shoe-shiner, and the CIA. Timebomb was the
|
||
sysop of a pathetic warez board called Critical Condition. This board had
|
||
been busted, and John, being the idiot that he was, left his real information
|
||
on the board. John got nervous...
|
||
John finally went to sleep after hours of staring at the ceiling,
|
||
thinking of warez, and Alcatraz. At around 8:30 that morning, John was
|
||
waken by a crashing sound. John peered out his window and spied 13 unmarked
|
||
plain white vans, along with a marked police car, and a trash truck. The
|
||
trash truck worried John most, this was Thursday and the trash collection
|
||
day was Monday. Dazed and confused, John rushed downstairs in his pajamas
|
||
and grabbed his trash. He burst out the door flanked by two bags full
|
||
of rotten tomatos and banana peels. He was tackled by two men wearing
|
||
suits, sunglasses, and totting Uzis. He was gagged and blindfolded and
|
||
thrown into a van that immediately sped away...
|
||
|
||
The last we heard of John, he was sharing a cell with Bubba the
|
||
tri-sexual axe murderer with a fettish for carbon paper.
|
||
|
||
Take this friendly lesson to heart. You may learn something.
|
||
|
||
|
||
Alexander Knox
|
||
Ozone Pilot
|
||
|
||
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
||
|
||
The Story of The Pipeline
|
||
|
||
Once upon a time, there was a pirate who had allll the latest
|
||
zEr0-day warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz. We'll call him JH. As with all
|
||
warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz d00dzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz, he had a favorite
|
||
warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz board. We'll call it Th3 Jail C3ll. He owned every
|
||
ware on the board, and uploaded so many that there was a file area there
|
||
called, "JH's Latest Z3r0-day WarezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz."
|
||
Well, 16.8k baud was not fast enough for JH and his sys0p - we'll
|
||
call him T-Bird. Being 100% k-rad k-k00l k-fr3sh, they devised an 3!33+
|
||
plan. They would build a pipeline between their two warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz
|
||
stati0nzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz (486DX2's for you and me). When this task was done,
|
||
they would be the first warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz d00dzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz ever to
|
||
transfer z3r0-day warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz ever!
|
||
There was one major problem: JH lived in Brookline, and T-Bird lived
|
||
in Malden! They decided they would work at night from their houses, and meet
|
||
in the middle.
|
||
Two y3arzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz later, it was 5 am and they could see each
|
||
digging 10 3!33+ f33t away! They decided they would risk working in the
|
||
daylight.
|
||
As the Sun came up over Somerville, it shined off of a ComGas pipe!
|
||
As JH swung his pickaxe for the last time, he struck the pipe and ruptured
|
||
it!
|
||
The ComGas truck drove up to investigate, and found two
|
||
warezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz d00dzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz wheezing for breath. As the
|
||
f3dzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz slapped on the cufzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz, they slipped into
|
||
comas, never to pirate again.
|
||
|
||
Moral of the the story: WarezzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz g3t buzt3d by
|
||
fedzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz!
|
||
|
||
Starchild
|
||
|
||
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
"An Objective Critique Of A Timebomb Post"
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
Check it out! Another asinine post from Timebomb, this one extracted from
|
||
a particularly hopeless warez board, Tower Of Power III. I add my comments
|
||
in brackets. I found this message very stereotypical of waredom in general.
|
||
Thanks to Timebomb for providing me this golden opportunity to tear him apart.
|
||
Here goes...
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
122 of 128
|
||
PISS YOU OFF! <---- [ Does this really piss me off? Hmm. Makes you think ]
|
||
8/4/93 at 1:06 pm
|
||
All
|
||
Timebomb (999) <---- [ Another board he has sysop access on ]
|
||
|
||
|
||
Alright, Everyone Read...And Ozone, BTW - you dont think it pays off? I will be
|
||
gatting a $100 check every month for this:
|
||
|
||
[ Note that financial refrences are introduces immediately. Last time I
|
||
checked, I didnt run a business. This is the warez-greed effect. In other
|
||
words, Timebomb is using a hobby to earn him money. These guys always
|
||
crash and burn. You go into business to make money, you go into a hobby
|
||
to take your mind off it. How greedy is this comment? Very. No REAL
|
||
computer user offers himself for charge. The computer hobby is based on
|
||
sharing and honesty. Such actions will earn Timebomb a bad rep fast. ]
|
||
|
||
To all TGW Affiliates, Distribution Sites, Members and Couriers:
|
||
|
||
[ Note the blanket announcment, it's effect is intended to make you think
|
||
that TGW reaches beyond Timebomb's bedroom. It doesnt. ]
|
||
|
||
TGW is now going to merge with PWA (Pirates with attitudes). We
|
||
|
||
[ I've never heard of PWA before either, and I dont think I'm missing
|
||
anything. Note that bad-ass acronym. "Pirates With Attitudes". Oooh,
|
||
how scary. Do they really have attitudes? Maybe we should ask their
|
||
8th grade teachers...]
|
||
|
||
are in the process of putting our two groups together. This means
|
||
that everything that TGW releases will be distributed by PWA and
|
||
their couriers, and vice versa. Betewwn the 2 groups, there will be
|
||
a very heavy flow of Warez. All TGW members, Couriers and boards will
|
||
|
||
[ Note the HEAVY FLOW of warez. Get this boy a tampon for that thing... ]
|
||
|
||
be PWA boards now, and each person can be a member if you so choose
|
||
to be. If you are a courier or a Member, or even a member board it is
|
||
free. If you are a Dist. Site and you can Supply TGW/PWA with Warez,
|
||
the is no fee. But, if you can't supply TGW/PWA with anything and want
|
||
to be a Site, the fee is $50/month US Dollars. This fee includes a
|
||
courier to your board. If you want more info on the TGW/PWA merger, or
|
||
are interested in dropping yourself from the Group, or want to become
|
||
a member, please leave feedback to TIMEBOMB on this board. I must know
|
||
who wants to go and stay soon. Adios <---- [ Timbomb really doesnt
|
||
know spanish]
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
Timebomb [PWA/TGW]
|
||
|
||
[ Note the "affiliations". This is a clear mark of the truly helpless.
|
||
Theu dont serve a purpose, but he must have them. ]
|
||
|
||
FUCK YOU OZONE!
|
||
|
||
[ Timebomb apparently dislikes the atmosphere. Probably still uses CFC's
|
||
in a heavy quantity. I wonder what Greenpeace would think...]
|
||
|
||
þþþþþþ Timebomb -=TGW=- þþþþþþ
|
||
|
||
[ Heres another one of those things. More snazzy, this one utilizes ANSI
|
||
codes, for added warez effect. ]
|
||
|
||
Current (ì Comments/Questions ì)...
|
||
è Next Reply Again Skip Thread Post Jump Mail List Quit è (NewScan) Next
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Whew, that was good. Now we have a better idea of the mind of a warez d00de.
|
||
We know whats going through that narrow mind. This has been another AWA
|
||
production.
|
||
|
||
Capture and Comments by Ozone Pilot
|
||
Thanks to Jason Farnon and Alex Knox
|
||
|
||
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
||
|
||
After learning of Timebomb's secret affiliations with PWA I had to find
|
||
out more about this elite group. So using sekret elite methods involving
|
||
the KGB and K0DeZ I snatched this status sheet straight from PWA! So here
|
||
it is. Judge it for yourself:
|
||
|
||
|
||
ܲÜ
|
||
ÜÛÜ Üß±²Ý
|
||
ÞÛÛÜßßÜ Ü Üß °±²
|
||
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÜßÜ Üß²Ý Üß °²Ý ÜÜ
|
||
ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝÞÝ Üß ±² ÞÝ °±² ÞÝÞÛÛÜÜ .
|
||
ÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝÛ Üß °²Ý Û °±²Ý Û ÛÛÛÛÛßßÜÜ þ
|
||
ßßÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÝ Üß °±² Þݰ±² ÞÝÞÛÛß Ü ßÜß
|
||
ßÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û °±²Ý Û°±²Ý ßÜÛÛÝ ßÜ
|
||
Ý ÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÝ Þݰ±²ß Üß Þ°±²ß Ü ßÛß ÛÜ
|
||
ÞÝ Þ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û°±±ß Üß ß ÜßÜß Þ²°Ü ÜÜ ÞßÜ
|
||
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ²ÜßÝ ÞÛÛÛÛÛÝÄÄÄÞ°±± Üß ÜÛßß ÄÄÄÄÄ ²±°ÞÝ ß Ä Û²Û ÄÄÄ-ÄÄÄ-Äú ú ú
|
||
Þ² ßÜÛÛÛÛÛß ÛÜß Üß ßÜ Þ²± Û Þݱ²Ý
|
||
ܲ²ÛÛÛÛß Þß þ ²±° ÞÝ Üß °±²
|
||
ܲ²ÛÛßß ÜÜ Üß . Þ²±° ßÜ ßÜ °²Ý
|
||
Þ²²ß ܲ ßßÜÜÜ ²±° Üß ßܱ²
|
||
²±Ý Þ²± ßßßÜ Þ²±°° Üß ß
|
||
Þ²Ü Û²± °Üß ß²²±±°ß
|
||
ß²ß Þ²±° °Üß ß²ß ..R.Noble <LEGACY>
|
||
Û²±°°°Üß
|
||
Û²±±±ß ... Pirates With Attitudes
|
||
Þ²²±ß
|
||
ܲ²ß Proudly Presents ...
|
||
ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍßÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ
|
||
³ ©_nEWUsERPassW0RD v1.0O _ _ _ _ __ _ _ ___ _aT 05-24-93 SS:0O_C3t_ª_³
|
||
³ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄij
|
||
³ PRoGRaMmINg,,, .,,, : 3l PENGA_&_tedDY_____³_tYpe, PcB0aRD_15.o Nup.pP3___³
|
||
³ paCKAGEr_..,,, .,,, :_TeddI___ _____ __ _³_audI0_.. :_n/a_ __ _ _ ³
|
||
³ pR0tECti0N_.,,, .:_N/a_ _ ___ _ _ ___ ³_RatyNG_.,,.:_[þþþþþþþþþþ] _ _³
|
||
³ cRAckEr_.,,, .,,, ,,, ,,, :_n/a_ __ _ _³_#_OF Di2kS:_1/1 _ ____ ___³
|
||
ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ
|
||
_ _ _ __ ___ _ _
|
||
n0TE2 :
|
||
|
||
_____
|
||
_ _ PrOGRAM: _NUPA2sWOrd.PPe v1.O0_-_COMPIl3d on_O5-S4-93
|
||
_d32crYpT1On: PpE (PcBOard pr0gRaMMInG ExeCuTaBl3) thAt Y0u cAN Add
|
||
_ __ __ _ _ _t0_The N3wu2eR DISplaI_phyL3,,,
|
||
insTAllATion: _Yn2tALlat10N IS_V3ri 2ympLe,_jU2t_uNZIP_ThEsE phYL32_TO
|
||
_ _ _____ _ a diRECToRY OpH_y0ur cHoYcE._
|
||
_ _____ __ __ RUN_an EDYt0r_0f Y0Ur_cHoYCE AND add tHe f0ll0wInG LIN3
|
||
_ _ _ _ T0 Y0UR N3wU2Er W3lc0mE pHYl3 :
|
||
_ _ _ _ __
|
||
__ __ __ _ !#62&%$<ppEpaTH>\nUP,,, pPe (3xAmPL3 0PH neWU23R_fYlE yncluD3D)
|
||
_ _ ___
|
||
_ ___ _ _ __rUn_PCbseTup aND eDIt th3 pAtH 0ph_tH3 n3wu2eR_PHIle_Yn
|
||
_ _____ __ _ _PHILe LOCATionS - d1SpLay_fyLE2 - nAME/Loc_0Ph_NEWus3r Phile
|
||
_ __ _____ __
|
||
____ __ _ ___ThAt's alL_!"13"!)!!
|
||
|
||
|
||
_ __ ___ _ _ __ __ __ __ _ __ _ __ _ __ ____sYgNeD_: T3ddi
|
||
_ ___ _____ _ ___ _ _ ___ __ _____ _ __ _
|
||
__ ___ ___ ______ _ _-/-_TH1S 1S_p,,, W.A,,, -\-
|
||
_
|
||
_¿ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-- -__
|
||
_³ OrGAnIz3rs .,,, .³_BAr_ManaGeR,_0RIOn, TeDdI
|
||
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ÄÄÄ-_--_úú_úú__ú
|
||
³ 23nI0r 2TapHPH_, ³_DUMP3r, krAm, MA2TEr di2A2t3r
|
||
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-_-ÄÄ- -- -_ ú úú __ ú
|
||
_³ prOGrAmmING_ ,,, ³_El p3ngA,_2TRId3R
|
||
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ--- -_ -_ ú ú_úú__ ú
|
||
_³ dOcuMENtatI0n,,, ³_dYrti FrAnk,_The_aNniHilAt0r, pHyRE_sTarTeR
|
||
_³__ _ _____ __³_Th3 Pun12Her,_ScR3ech
|
||
_ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ--- - __-__ú ú úú_ _ú
|
||
_³ MemB3r2_,.,, , ³_anoNImOus,_BEACH_BUM,_Big al,_byg_3DDie, c3Ti2,_cHArLI3
|
||
³_ __ _ _ _ _ ³_DE2Tr0i3R,_faYTh_hEaLeR, Fbi,_fEL0nIous_M0nK
|
||
³_ __ _ ___ _ ³_jUmpyN' jaCk flaSH, M3SsiaH, mYND B0mB,_mIST3r TWiST3r
|
||
³__ ____ _ ³ RicOCH3t, SyliC0n WArri0r, TJ,_ViNDiCat10N, X3n0Phob3
|
||
ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÍÍÍÍÄÍÄÄÄ-ÄÄ-Ä-- úú ú ú
|
||
|
||
³ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄij
|
||
³ _ _ __ ú _ú_úú<> cOUry3R C0OrdInAtors <>úú_ú__ú_ ___ _ __ ___ _³
|
||
³ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄij
|
||
³___ _ _____ ___ __ _ _ _2TrYPH3__ ____ __ __ _ _ _ ____ __ _
|
||
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
|
||
³_ __ __ ___ __ ú ú_úú<> SENI0R COuRYer2 <>úú_ú ú _ __ _ ___ _ ___³
|
||
³ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄij
|
||
³ _ ____ _ deaTHkNIgHT, Th3 S0rCer3R2 SON,_WIngNut___ _ ___ _ ³
|
||
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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end of transmission.
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