37 lines
1.3 KiB
Plaintext
37 lines
1.3 KiB
Plaintext
Staci's fake newz articles 4 ati 188
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WORMS: GIVE US $ FOR OUR WORK!
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Normal, ILL - In the first ever suit filed by worms,
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the worms claim that they should be compensated for
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the work done by them to help humans catch fish and
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other such feats. There will be more details on this
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case in the next issue; this trial will be our feature
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issue for the next week.
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--Staci Charles for PAWN (Prime Anarchist World Newz)
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SEWER BACKUP SINKS 700,000-PLUS HOMES.
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(PAWN) New Fork, NF - In the suburbs around New Fork City
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yesterday people in their homes suddenly found themselves
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sinking.
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Reggie Smith came home to find that his house was four
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feet underground.
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"I just left for work in the morning, and when I came
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home I couldn't open my door." Rescuers are still trying
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to save some 20,000 people still stuck in their houses.
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Over 747,747 homes were affected.
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Investigators are blaming the growing use of hoses to
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keep lawns green, and the fact that several bears and
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other woodland creatures have been spotted relieving
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themselves in the sewers. "We've just taken away too
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many of the trees, their natural toilets," said Nancy
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Weildman, forest ranger. Weildman went on to explain
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that trees are naturally better processors of bear
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whiz than sewersystems.
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--Staci Charles, on location.
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