434 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
434 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
Live from the Ass Embly it's ATI.
|
|
Activist Tines, Inverted. Issue 193
|
|
|
|
(PAWN) DC - Congress passes "patients bill
|
|
of rights without rights."
|
|
In an unprecedented move in the bowels
|
|
of Congress, patients now have the right
|
|
to demand healthcare, while at the same
|
|
time carriers have the right to deny them.
|
|
"Dude," said Albert AMA Azchthole, "How
|
|
cool is that???"
|
|
|
|
>< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< ><
|
|
<> ATI. Activist Times, Inc. <>
|
|
>< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< ><
|
|
<> ever wonder what happened <>
|
|
>< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< ><
|
|
<> to TAP/YIPL??? <>
|
|
>< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< ><
|
|
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
|
|
|
|
Hello, I'm Prime Anarchist and this is my
|
|
rant for a New Moon, October, 1999.
|
|
|
|
I want a job folding jeans just right so every
|
|
crease is perfect and the price tag is sticking
|
|
out where you can see it. I'd like rock-star
|
|
headphones with a microphone so someone from afar
|
|
watching me on video can walk me through it right
|
|
down to my posture and presence or perhaps get a
|
|
quick price check at the same time. Hmmm. I know.
|
|
There's a brand new Old Navy opened up in my town.
|
|
Maybe I'll drop off a resume. You think they'll
|
|
start me at more than 8/hr?
|
|
Do William Rhenquist and Dick Cheney look like
|
|
"seperated at birth" or what?
|
|
Speaking of which - what middle-aged white male
|
|
will YOU vote for NEXT year.
|
|
Anyone remember those records "Mr. President?"
|
|
45's they were...about the end of the Nixon admin.
|
|
Ford and Carter too I think. You know, a question
|
|
asked by a voiceover guy, and each reply is a pop
|
|
song that just seemed to fit well, or at least it
|
|
was funny and/or entertaining.
|
|
Well, here's a short spinoff.
|
|
Call it "Mr. Bill and His Police Bills."
|
|
"Mr. President, how will you respond to Columbine?"
|
|
"Well, I signed some legislation just this week
|
|
what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities."
|
|
"Mr. President, how will you respond to the Texas
|
|
massacre?"
|
|
"Well, I signed some legislation just this week
|
|
what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities."
|
|
"...how would you respond to the recent shootings
|
|
in Georgia?"
|
|
"Well, I signed some legislation just this week
|
|
what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities."
|
|
We bring you now to Clinton's first inaugauration.
|
|
"Well, I signed some legislation just this week
|
|
what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities."
|
|
And now a word from his second inaug...
|
|
"Well, I signed some legislation just this week
|
|
what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities."
|
|
"Good morning Mr. Clinton. How do you feel today?
|
|
Going to go for a jog?"
|
|
"Well, I signed some legislation just..."
|
|
-)(-
|
|
Did you see the Gibson SG bathroom tile one of the
|
|
Columbine high school students painted?
|
|
I was watching Unavision's DESPIERTA AMERICA,
|
|
and they were showing the tiles. Basically they're
|
|
letting each kid express... you know, for self esteem,
|
|
spirit rebuilding, catharsis and reprogramming.
|
|
You want my take? Anything to keep from losing one
|
|
more student to parents' district-hopping. You think
|
|
the administration gives a flying fruit-fly about
|
|
self esteem? Spirit?
|
|
Bah, can you say state-money-per-student? A large
|
|
chunk of change, peeps. Addicts, all of them. Addicted
|
|
to 32 students per classroom. If admin thought teachers
|
|
(pronounced slave units) would tolerate 33, 34, or 45
|
|
students per class, dontcha think, you betcha! they'd
|
|
sign off on cloning 10 year olds right now.
|
|
Paula Jones has the stupidest looking nose I've
|
|
ever seen situated on a face. Do you think the MD,
|
|
(pronounced artist) is incompetent, or just a
|
|
no-talent bum?
|
|
DO SOMETHING
|
|
I'm shooting myself in the foot a bit here, because
|
|
I'll be there in nine or 10 years too, right?
|
|
But list your 10 favorite columnists out there.
|
|
Be honest now. Go with your first 10 thoughts.
|
|
Now, how many are white, middle-aged males?
|
|
Half? More than half? Almost all?
|
|
I've got to thank Dick Bennett for that one.
|
|
Your NY Post article this morning. It (you) helped
|
|
me notice something.
|
|
& SPEAKING OF WHICH
|
|
You may wonder why my weakly columns seldom ever
|
|
resemble... \seldom : resemble\ \posthaste : toothpaste\
|
|
\never mind\ \go back to your normal programming\
|
|
...the traditional United Statesian newspaper column.
|
|
Well, I'll tell you.
|
|
I don't WANT to fit reprintable in any paper. I don't
|
|
want to have a portfolio full of perfectly prepared pieces,
|
|
any of which could be interchanged in any paper in any
|
|
province. If structure is everything, then I guess I'm
|
|
nothing aren't I, because structure means little or
|
|
nothing to me.
|
|
I'm a columnist sure, I'm a publisher and an editor,
|
|
but I'm like hardly any you've seen before.
|
|
AND WHY IS THAT?
|
|
I'm nobody's slave. Structure this!
|
|
If you're planning to reprint things I've written out
|
|
there in other places, and I'm aware that many of you do,
|
|
I don't want it to be because it fits -- or I fit -- or
|
|
you fit into prior expectations of any kind.
|
|
I want you to reprint me because you hear my voice
|
|
and can relate and/or respond. Or perhaps you can't relate
|
|
and want to hear more before you retort or reply.
|
|
THAT'S FINE TOO. I don't want to be liked, I want to
|
|
be heard, and you'll notice - that hasn't changed
|
|
"a lick" in 12 years.
|
|
PRIME
|
|
ANARCHIST'S
|
|
WEAKLY
|
|
COLUMN
|
|
IT'S NON-
|
|
RELIABILITY CAN BE
|
|
COUNTED
|
|
ON...
|
|
I end this rant with a couple quotes, because academics
|
|
love quotes. And of course the rest of us have come to
|
|
adore them as well.
|
|
|
|
"The purpose of a musician is to compliment the
|
|
music -- not to compete."
|
|
-Carlos Santana
|
|
|
|
"The tax code is over 40,000 pages long now."
|
|
-John McCain
|
|
|
|
(A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S)
|
|
|
|
23 23 69696969
|
|
Prime Anarchist Productions Presents the ATI #'s run.
|
|
23 23 69696969
|
|
|
|
|
|
http://www.cco.org
|
|
http://www.JimLord.to
|
|
http://www.google.com
|
|
http://www.treatyland.com
|
|
http://come.to/commonsense
|
|
http://www.byblos-arte.net
|
|
http://www.essentialmedia.com
|
|
http://www.bluewormrecords.com
|
|
http://morehouse.org/hin/new.htm
|
|
http://www.theslot.com/contents.html
|
|
http://www.home.aone.net.au/firebrace
|
|
http://www.gmpublishing.com/links.html
|
|
http://www.venkiller.org/brainx/files.htm
|
|
http://www.vanhackez.com/h/guirizines.html
|
|
http://www.locus.cz/hacker-crackdown/2.html
|
|
http://cust2.iamerica.net/blanc1/new/hack.htm
|
|
http://www.upsu.plym.ac.uk/~madman/newhack.htm
|
|
http://www.users.uswest.net/~jbauer/internet.html
|
|
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/7996/links2.html
|
|
http://www.ati.es/novatica/glosario/glosario_internet.txt
|
|
http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/seeker1/scholarly/cudisc.html
|
|
http://www.go2net.com/internet/useless/useless/auto-refresh.html
|
|
http://www.laluzdejesus.com/graphics/norbert_cox-apocalyptic_visual_parables
|
|
|
|
(A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S)
|
|
|
|
...& U know we get letters...
|
|
|
|
So how do you deal with violence? Run from it?
|
|
Ignore it?
|
|
Enlighten me on how to remove corrupt
|
|
officials from office without violence.
|
|
One of the key points of the Manifesto
|
|
is that refusing to accept violence as a
|
|
legitimate option ignores the example of
|
|
our founding fathers. Corrupt officials
|
|
do not die and go away.
|
|
They breed and contaminate.
|
|
DrugWar
|
|
|
|
-=()=-
|
|
|
|
to ati@etext.org
|
|
Hello there!
|
|
I was reading the comments concerning THE CELESTINE PROPHECY on
|
|
Amazon.com. Everybody seems to have a different take on that book. I
|
|
saw, however, that you appear to have an appreciation for psychological
|
|
stories, so I thought I would write to you for help. My name is Robert
|
|
Clark Young and I am a first-time novelist. My novel, ONE OF THE GUYS,
|
|
is a satire taking place on a US Navy ship under way to Southeast Asia.
|
|
While it is difficult to get attention for a literary novel these days,
|
|
I know there is an audience out there for ONE OF THE GUYS--people with
|
|
a sensibility such as yours, perhaps, who might get a lot out of it.
|
|
So if you have a chance, I'd be very grateful if you gave ONE OF THE
|
|
GUYS a try...
|
|
I hope I haven't taken up too much of your time. And if there are
|
|
any contemporary literary novels you'd like to recommend to me,
|
|
please do so!
|
|
My very best to you,
|
|
Robert Clark Young
|
|
P.S. Should you know of someone who might enjoy
|
|
ONE OF THE GUYS, could you please pass this message
|
|
on to him or her? Thanks!
|
|
|
|
-=()=-
|
|
|
|
LOL!!! Isn't that the truth!!!
|
|
anon.
|
|
|
|
-=()=-
|
|
|
|
> sorry for the complete newbie question,
|
|
> but I have to ask...
|
|
> what is fn0rd?
|
|
|
|
I'm not fnord sure. Or maybe I'm just not allowed to tell you.
|
|
Maybe it's a secret action word that, when read by a post-bot,
|
|
initiates a scan-and-deploy sequence. Maybe it's a government
|
|
agent code word that identifies me to fellow agents. Maybe
|
|
it's a conspiracy by the Illuminati and the Grays to overthrow
|
|
the government and replace our SENATORS with CHEESEBURGERS!
|
|
Hold the MIND-CONTROL SAUCE!@
|
|
(It's less fun if everyone knows what
|
|
it means... but I hope you can deduce
|
|
from context by now...)
|
|
ajax
|
|
|
|
-=()=-
|
|
|
|
Dearest Marco,
|
|
A gift from me. Copy and paste this
|
|
text into a file and make it your
|
|
email signature!
|
|
Best,
|
|
A.
|
|
*****WHY ARE YOU BUYING YOUR FOOD FROM A TOBACCO COMPANY?*********
|
|
***Kraft cheese and food products, Sanka, Post cereals, Minute****
|
|
*Rice Shake n'Bake, Miller Beer and Cool Whip are all made by*****
|
|
*****Philip Morris - a name synonymous with Marlboro cigarettes -*
|
|
***by buying these products, your grocery dollars are supporting**
|
|
****a company that kills. Get informed. Take back your culture!***
|
|
*****http://www.adbusters.org*************************************
|
|
|
|
-=()=-
|
|
|
|
to ati@etext.org
|
|
Now you can have a delicious falafel meal
|
|
delivered right to your door. Our complete
|
|
falafel package is great for your family
|
|
and friends.
|
|
Call 1888921PITA or hit our site at:
|
|
http://www.pitacuisine.com
|
|
|
|
-=()=-
|
|
|
|
to ati@etext.org
|
|
SORRY IF THIS AD HAS OFFENDED YOU IN ANYWAY.
|
|
IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE AD PLEASE NO FLAMES,
|
|
JUST DELETE, YOU TAKE MORE TIME TO COMPLAIN
|
|
THEN TO JUST DELETE.
|
|
Now to explain how the whole process works.
|
|
First of all, you tell us how many e-mail
|
|
addresses you would like us to send your
|
|
advertisement to--you may either e-mail,
|
|
fax, or snail-mail a hard copy of your
|
|
ad to us.
|
|
We will then place your ad in our database
|
|
so it will be ready to be sent out anytime
|
|
thereafter. Say for instance you wanted
|
|
1-million e-mails sent--once we receive
|
|
your payment it will take about 3-4 days
|
|
to be completed, unless you desire a more
|
|
lengthy time frame, or need it done faster.
|
|
Right about now you might be wondering
|
|
why you should choose us above the...
|
|
|
|
-=()=-
|
|
|
|
Hello Marco,
|
|
Nice to hear from you. All is well.
|
|
Enjoyed your music this morning with my
|
|
coffee. Looks like you're having fun.
|
|
As James Taylor said "The secret of
|
|
life is to enjoy the passage of time."
|
|
Isn't that what it's all about?
|
|
Larry
|
|
|
|
-=()=-
|
|
|
|
hi marco
|
|
how the heck are you.. sorry take so long
|
|
to write. am backlogged like crazy..
|
|
when u visiting l.a.?
|
|
ml,
|
|
larry
|
|
|
|
-=()=-
|
|
|
|
to ati@etext.org
|
|
I applaud you. My company doesn't but
|
|
I do. I wanted you to know this.
|
|
zd@zd.net
|
|
|
|
|
|
(A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S)
|
|
|
|
|
|
CONSPICIONIST THEORY OF THE WEAK
|
|
Here in the US we get two stories a day.
|
|
No more, no less. London trains collide,
|
|
South Korea drops a little heavy water
|
|
around, poisoning 12, then 22 then 30
|
|
people.
|
|
Couple days ago it was Mexico's southern
|
|
neighbor Oaxaxa has a gigantic earthquake
|
|
and Japan almost has a meltdown or chain
|
|
reaction.
|
|
Are we going to get one story from
|
|
each hemisphere - and almost 180 degrees
|
|
apart for the rest of our milleniums?
|
|
|
|
& SPEAKING OF CONSPICIONISMS
|
|
D'ya think John John's plain going down
|
|
could have been a HAARP campaign gone
|
|
awry?
|
|
Ooh, aw, wry, very wry...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tipper Gore: the final frontier
|
|
by Adam Reinardy Prime Anarchist World News Correspondent
|
|
(D.C.) Tipper Gore's Super Secret Censorship Taskforce (SSCT)
|
|
[say THAT five times fast] has advanced its campaign into nonsecular
|
|
territory. While shopping in a Christian music store Mrs. Gore heard a
|
|
disturbing noise:
|
|
"My God's da bomb!
|
|
Your God smells
|
|
You mess with my God
|
|
You gonna end up in HELL!
|
|
Sucka!"
|
|
Questions raced through her head: "Am I still in a Christian store?",
|
|
"Haven't I already censored everything?", and
|
|
"What exactly is Christian gansta rap?"
|
|
The answers she came up with were: yes, apparently not, and
|
|
God knows. Although the third question would have bothered this
|
|
reporter the most, we all know Tipper is no ordinary human.
|
|
She immediately went to work on question two, whipping out
|
|
her cellphone and calling the members of SSCT.
|
|
Within minutes, all of comtemporary Christian music was
|
|
under Tipper's thumb and the worlds minors were once again
|
|
safe from naughy words like "hell."
|
|
|
|
ANARCHIST INVENTS FIRST SPEECH SYNTHESIZED BARFING NOISE
|
|
(PAWN) Humana, Wisc. - The team of Anarchist, Broadcaster
|
|
and Associates discovered something completely vulgar
|
|
yesterday.
|
|
"In plain english, what we did," Said Prime Anarchist,
|
|
"was to make two wav files. One was of DO YOU FEEL YOU
|
|
LIKE WE DO by Peter "Cool Hair" Crampton, and we layered
|
|
it on top of Cheer's brand new DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE
|
|
AFTER DRUGS. We lined up the two most high tech parts
|
|
of each song and spliced them together for analog
|
|
mixdown using a cracked demo copy of CoolEdit, and we
|
|
listened with a used computer that had a winamp loaded
|
|
in and voila!" said Anarchist. "A perfect puking noise."
|
|
Anarchist went on to say the only way he could describe
|
|
the sound in words was to bring up the image of a chicken
|
|
with a string full of meat on it down his throat when you
|
|
push and pull on the cord ever so slightly each time to
|
|
get a "gahwhk" sound out of the bird. That gagging noise
|
|
is the sound of Cheer and Peter Crampton paying for perms
|
|
and peroxide at the Hair Palace, according to Anarchist.
|
|
Anarchist asked us to end this article with the phollowing
|
|
rhetorical:
|
|
Do you be li~ee~ee~~ee~ve in technology like I do?
|
|
|
|
%$#%IS#%IT$#%#$SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO REVIEW A NEWSPAPER
|
|
AS IF IT WERE A RECORD ALBUM? %#$#$#%#$#$ OK, I'LL DO IT
|
|
ANYHOW. %#$#by%#$#%Happy Harry Hackon#%$%%$%$##%#$#%#$#%
|
|
|
|
I bought a NYTimes sunday morning. My first time in
|
|
17 weeks. Ran me $4.
|
|
What I got of value were two things. L0pht article in
|
|
the magazine, and a piece by David Byrne about world music
|
|
in the A&E section.
|
|
Everything else, if I can write most candidly, I can get
|
|
for free all over the internet, on the side of the road, in
|
|
my television, in the backs of year-old magazines in lobbies
|
|
while awaiting appointments.
|
|
You know the things.
|
|
18 and 19 year old women gussied up to look like they might
|
|
be, I don't know, 14 or 15? Lies about products disguised as
|
|
entertaining footage, sex and violence, sex and violence,
|
|
violence and sex, and sex and violence. Oh, and some sex and
|
|
a little bit of violence now and then.
|
|
Thank you New York Times. You gave me my $3 worth. Only
|
|
problem is you charged me four bucks for it.
|
|
|
|
(A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S)
|
|
|
|
We end with a short non-poem written by
|
|
Marco Capelli on the spot. You know Marco,
|
|
he's like Mac Davis without the curls.
|
|
|
|
This week,
|
|
You get -
|
|
Little or no poems;
|
|
So shut up and go home.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, that's about it for ATI issue one-eighty-thirteen.
|
|
|
|
Send all the money to
|
|
ati@etext.org
|
|
|
|
The Zine's semi-official website is at:
|
|
http://www.thepentagon.com/primeanarchist
|
|
|
|
http://marco.franklins.net
|
|
for all things reconsidered.
|
|
|
|
Oh, and if you've got sense, you'll dial
|
|
1-860-887-2600
|
|
ext. 5293
|