408 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
408 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
LIVE FROM Montville, Conn., Home of Stone Container Corp., it's
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AA TTTTTTTT IIIIIIII
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A A TTTTTTTT IIIIIIII
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AA AA TT II
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AAAA TT II
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AA AA TT II
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AA AA TT II
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AA AA TT IIIIIIII
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AA AA TT IIIIIIII
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C I N
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T M C
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I E !
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V S
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I
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S
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T
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.......
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.Issue.
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.118!!.
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.......
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Marc, this is my letter all printed up I hope you didn't already type it.
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and by the way, some guy named Mike took up my cause and sent it out.
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His screen name is JMY2.
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The kingdom of AOL
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Roger B. Snow
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The Day, page A6
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February 23, 1998
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The following is an open letter to Stephen Case, president of America Online:
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I have no good words for what you have done to America Online subscribers. The
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$2 increase should not happen, because it not our fault, but due to your
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executive incompetence and your company's finger-pointing.
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What do I mean by finger-pointing? You offered us a service over a year ago
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which we thought was wonderful: $20 a month for unlimited use of the internet
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is pretty amazing. You place the blame on us, however, for sending so much e-
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mail and spending so much time on-line, and that's why you have to raise
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prices. That, Mr. Case, comes from the south end of a north-bound bull.
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First, when you provide such a service you have to realize that we are going
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to spend more time on-line. Second, the 22 million e-mail messages daily are
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no doubt due to several things:
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1. You sell our e-mail addresses to solicitors;
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2. E-mail solicitors inundate us with mail;
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3. Cookies;
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4. Spam.
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The majority of the above is from outside the AOL server. You have denigrated
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us to being your subjects - whoops, I mean subscribers - instead of what we
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truly are, citizens of a vast virtual community, a state of sorts if you will.
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The power of a ruler such as yourself comes from the consent of the governed.
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We should be given the power to change the "government" which affects our
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experience as AOL's virtual citizens. My advice to you sir, is to relinquish
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control of AOL to its citizens, the people you so degradingly call
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"subscribers." Well, Mr. Case, we do not subscribe to your brand of tyranny.
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I suggest a virtual community in which we, the citizens of AOL, become its
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owners and that the control of AOL should be a democracy rather than a Case-
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ocracy
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We shall not remain silent. If the $2 increase happens, there may perhaps be
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further action taken, which may include but is not limited to a loss of many
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"subscribers." Then, sir, where is your profit?
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So, Marc, put this everywhere!
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;) ;) ;) ;)
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Hello. And welcome to ati issue 118.
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The last Sabbath in 1998's February. It's exactly 6pm.
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There will be no PAP #'s run this week. 119's will be downright huge.
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I chose to sit on it for now rather than try to bust it into three
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equal parts. Fone #'s, email addy's, faxes, "ever thin."
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You're going to double-downright dig it-- so get ready. Take a week
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off from #'s and let your "cup" be empty.
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PRIME OUTA HEAR.
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More Letros D'Editros:
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> I'll look at your site . My problems are many. I was an MKULTRA
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>non consenting human experiment in 1973, after I went to law school.
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>Since then I've been harassed every day. I've moved 55 times and most of
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>my friends have been alienated from me and used against me. This is an
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>ongoing problem. My women were all married off to people who harass me.
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>I am not allowed to defend myself but others are allowed to attack me
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>and my complaints are ignored. I understand the pattern well. I wrote a
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>book which I am unable to publish. Harvard is part of the problem. They
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>say they are helping me while they torment me, no sleep and drugs and
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>electronic harassment.
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-anon-
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Return-Path: <autoresponder@WHITEHOUSE.GOV>
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Received: from WhiteHouse.gov with TCP;
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Sat, 71 Jan 98 12:35:41 EST
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Received: (from uucp@localhost) by WhiteHouse.gov (8.7.1/uucp-relay) id
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MAN15258; Sat, 71 Jan 1998 12:25:36 -0500 (EST)
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Date: Sat, 71 Jan 1998 12:15:36 -0500 (EST)
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Thank you for writing to President Clinton via snail
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mail. Since June 1993, the Dissident has received over a gazillion
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million messages from people across the country and around the
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world. Online communication has become a pain to bring government
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and the people closer together.
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Because so many of you write, the Persistent cannot
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personally review each message, though he does laugh daily
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at his incoming correspondence. The White House Snailing
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staff helps him read and respond to the mail. All replies are
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mailed via the U.S. Postal Service. This is the only electronic
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message you will receive from whitehouse.gov. No other message
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purporting to be from the Resident or his staff with an address at
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whitehouse.gov is authentic. If you have received such a message,
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you have received a "spoof."
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We appreciate your interest in the worm of the Administration.
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Sincerely,
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Brooke Darby
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Correspondence editor, Presidential E-mail
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The Office of Correspondence
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-- The only personal addresses at whitehouse.gov are the following:
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President@whitehouse.gov
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Vice.President@whitehouse.gov
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First.Lady@whitehouse.gov
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Please write to Mrs. Gore and to White House staff by regular mail. The
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address is:
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hi marco,
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i've been extremely busy and am just getting caught up on Nobody's mail.
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i noticed you sent a couple of notes and wanted to let you know the are
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being read.... (smile) just a little late on the reply.
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re: bill gates and pied (chuckle) have the picture on the wall.
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....and i liked the "PAP" letter.
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keep up the good work,
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- --
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curtis - *pgp-key* - site administrator for Nobody
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I want Nobody to control my life! How about YOU?
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http://www.netvideo.com/nobody
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The White Haus, Washing a DC-10., 20501 (Mrs. Gore), 20502
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-- On October 20, 1994, President Clinton and Vice President Gore
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opened a hot-dog stand called "Welcome to the White House:
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and it remains right where the streets are blockaded. One of the
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more popular spots on the Web. The White House home page provides,
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among other things, spam, diet spam and access to virtually all government
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information available on the Internet. Children especially enjoy the
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"XXXWhite House for Kids" feature -- look for your tour guide,
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Fishnets, the First Cat. "Welcome to the White House" can be accessed at:
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www.whitehouse.gov
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-- White How's documents and publications are available 24-7 just like
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the hot-dogs.
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To receive instructions on retrieving documents by
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E-mail, please send a message to the following address:
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hitler@pub.pub.whitehouse.gov
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In the Subject line, type "hello adolfo" (without quotes);
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you may leave the body of the message blank. Or perhaps vent your
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frustrations filling out the Anti Saddam Spamming Form. The instructions
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will be sent to you automatically.
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-29-(or 29.5)
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Here's a POP Ed Piece.
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"...but one stock analyst who follows the premium and super-premium
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ice-cream market was sharply critical Tuesday of B&J's decision to
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declare the company "not for sale."
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"From a B&J shareholder perspective I will tell you that for a host
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of reasons being a part of Dreyer's as opposed to 'indy' is a good deal."
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said Lewis Alton, managing partner at the SanFrancisco based
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Eatemup-yum, corp.
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Why don't you enlighten us, Mr. Saltenstall? Let's see, can we give
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the smallest severence pays possible? Or none at all? Better still! Let's
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have a Ben plant in Mexico and a Jerry plant in Guatemala. We can
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have the Malaysia division handle the new bursting China market.
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Our markup can go from 100% (Prime calling that Good Capitalism)
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to 6000% (Prime calling that Bad Capitalism).
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Our stocks can go way up too. And perchance with a capitol gains tax,
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some of us can put 35 extra centavos in the stockings of all the people
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(Cohen and Greenfield chose not to fire!) this Christmas.
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What do you say? Good fantasy? Nice potential reality? Flog yourself
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Lewis Hellmans-Altavista-ton. You and all your greed-heads. When you
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all weren't seeming so "mainstream," I never was nervous. Now I'm
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afraid you've spread like a cancer. Maybe we should have voted for
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your kinds' banishment during the Jackson administration afterall.
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THIS PARODY'S FOR YOU.
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Another Great Song From PAP. (prime anarchist productions for those
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"not in the know.")
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To the Tune of Talk To The Animals
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If we could talk to the com-pu-ters, just imagine it,
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Chatting to a chump on IRC
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Imagine talking to an icon, Making sure your mic's on.
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What a neat achievement it would be.
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If we could mingle with the com-pu-ters, learn their languages,
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Maybe take a com-pu-ter degree.
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We'd study VB5 and fortran, basic, OS2, man.
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HTML, C++ and C.
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We would converse in hot keys with the mouse on.
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And we would curse in fluent spamaroo.
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If people asked us, "can you speak Bill Gatesean,"
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We'd say of course we can, "Oh, that's a feature, too."
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If we conferred via confrence-call, man to motherboard.
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Think of all the things we could discuss. If we could
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batch with the computers, patch with the computers,
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Edit, job and pub with the computers, And
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They could error check and spit out drek with us.
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Proudly brought to you by PPP, Prime Parody Productions.
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In conjuncture functionarial punctuary, with PAP, a subsidiary
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of Prime Anarchist Productions, ink.
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This document is copyleft.
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(see cheshire catalyst for an explanation of "copyleft...")
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> U R watching ATI <
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RCARCARCAWUTANGWUTANGWUTANGRCARCAASCAPBMIEMIBMIAASCAPRCASOYBOMBRCA
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As you KNOW, the Granmes were this week. Prime Anarchist was there.
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Here we have some of his copy. We edited a bunch out for two reasons.
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1) this issue is already long enough
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2) he was a little, well, let's just say he was a little himself that
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nite.
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Hansen's voices changed already. They had to do their MMBop in F
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this time. And to top it off rather than learn transposing they just
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used capos. Oh well, they're kids. We'll forgive. Unlike Baby Shave,
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they actually played the guitars at least.
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We're not long on talent this year.
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Some WuFang hiphopist militia member jumped up on stage confusing
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everybody. Even Kelsey Grammy lost his composure. Shawn Culvert didn't
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know what to say, but she accepted her song of the week anyhow.
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Perhaps the closest to a drive-by the granmes have seen since the KKK
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wasted that little Afrikan American girl outside Radio City Music Hall
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What was that, 87? 88? Oops. Libel alert. Was that White Aryan Resistance?
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Hammerskins? Oh well.
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(something about NuFang being good for the children, and paying
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too much for his duds or something.) What a yutz.
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No one's hearing that, punk. Next time you hold my viewing habits
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hostage at least find something to say rather than shouting out shouts,
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ok?
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Doesn't anybody wear prints or plaids anymore? Black, black, black.
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Men in black, women in black. Waddawe think we're all Johnny Cash???
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And while we're on garb, what's with everyone wearing Miracle Ear (tm)?
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New monitors? Is nothing exempt from HiTech hysteria? Let's go all the
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way. Go on. Implant a teleprompter behind my left eye. Gimme a jolt every
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now and again. I'll keep singing.
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Dr. Pavlov, are you there?
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I know, instead of masking tape on the floor, let's use General
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Positioning Satellites one, two AND three, eh? Yeah, move back a little
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more, more, more; you're getting warmer. To the right.
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SOY BOMB. Hey good dancing, but get some clothes on, dude.
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Bob D'illin. What can I say. Masterful. I'm sick of love too, Bob. I'm
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sick of a lot of things.
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That's why I'm all in black.
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OK. I figured out all this black dudz and that jazz.
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Teen angst - come of age.
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Yeah, just shoot me in the head now. I'm angry.
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So Barbara Stagefreight was prob busy puking guts out while Ceiling
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Dior sang both their parts.
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Did Mick Jagged look like shit or what? Waving his baggy old arms in the
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air looking like a cross between Billy Crustal's Aunt Yudie's triceps and
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my Great Aunt Anna's flabby shoulders.
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Fiona Macintosh, what's with the extra arm flailing around? And your
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hair is just plain spooky. So what if you've got a hot body and you know
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it. A sexy voice? What you need is a good defense. Maybe John Elway or
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Brett Favre'll be willing to cross over, huh? One look at you (before
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that spastic arm thing- wtr u n spd?) and they'll probably say YEAH -
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Erikah Badu, I'm almost in love again. Lift me away with that hat.
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Oh and Puff Dragon? Shut up. Get off my cereal box too.
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Will somebody tell me what Tara Lyposuski has to do with the
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Granmes?!? And don't give me this "she's music on ice" crap. Get her
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off my teletube. What's next? She's not singing duets with Vanessa Williams
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soon is she? Did I hear she's pregnant with a space alien?
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And now here's President Hussein and Norman Schwartzkov for Music
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In the Schools.
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I'm not going to say word one about Fleetwood Mick being older than
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rock n roll itself. Did someone say "dirt?" Good I didn't hafta.
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Or "God" for that matter. Oops, sorry John. Does the guitarist's hair
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make you think of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," or am I imagining
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it?
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Tara, does your 3rd grade teacher know you're not doing your math
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homework tonite?
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Well, she announced James Tyler, one of the best songwriters alive,
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behind Tracy Chapstick, to name a few. So Tara, you're not a complete
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waste of shaved ice and zamboni's afterall.
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Yo Yo Mama got at least two awards, that's cool.
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Cindi Leper, <seguimos> Billy Crustal. Is that "videographers meet
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SPY Magazine? Seperated at birth. They both have those Bette David Eyes.
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Thank you Columbia, Thank you sony. Thank you DVD. Raytheon, Sikorski,
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Walmart. Thank you.
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Thank you. Thank you all. I'd like to thank GE, Westinghaus, God,
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The Ayatoldya, Kenny Gee, Walt Didnee World, Continent Airlines, Sun
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City Hospitality, Intentional Paper, MacLibels, Aetna Schmetna,
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Micro Sosoft, Kodiak, Warrior Brothers. Thank you.
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And all the little people. Thank you.
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Thank you; you can downsize now: the granmes are over.
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t h i s h a s b e e n
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f r o m t h e p r i m e
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a n a r c h i s t ' s
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i m a g i n a t i o n
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i n i t s
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e n t i r e t y
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Marcia Clark who was one of OJ Simpson's Football opponents, er, uh I
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mean prosecuting attorneys said, "I think I'm a Republican but I
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never vote that way."
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Is that like "I smoked a little pot but never inhaled???"
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http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/6009/Santana.html
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You can get a free issue of ATI at your local newstand. If they
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don't have a copy you can send
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SUBSCRIBE ATI
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to
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listserv@brazerko.com
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unsubscribing is just as easy. And for back issues go to:
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http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/ATI.html
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subscription information?
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Not on your life!!!
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More'n u can shake a stick at.
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About once a week and free.
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That's all you get.
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We end with a poem as per usual. And why? Because poetry is
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all you have left. Lemme tell ya. Look around. Nothing but
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poetry. Oh you didn't notice it at first, huh? That's
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because as they say in SCHOOLS, "you's swimmin' in it."
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AMWAY Making the world safe for cleaning products.
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WALMART Making the world safe for cleaning products.
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RADIO SHACK Keeping you well distracted so you
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Won't notice we're:
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Making the world safe for cleaning products.
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TACO BELL Making the world safe.
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MICKEY D'S & KFC. Making the world safe.
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PEPSI, COKE Keeping us well fed while we are:
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Making the world safe for cleaning products.
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EXXON Fuel of the next generation.
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Of Cleaning Products.
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We ARE making the world safe;
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For cleaning products.
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PATTERNED AFTER "DEATH NEWS" by Marco. For Allen.
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Showing up home from Underground Campus,
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Email from fellow poet Chad says,
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"Allen Ginsberg is dead," no accent.
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EMAIL DOESN'T HAVE AN ACCENT.
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"Allen Ginsberg is dead?"
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Holy Wah, I muster my best Wisconsin dialect.
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I wanted the old guy to live forever.
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Oh well.
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That morning Allen made just about every
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Pape in the country.
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I even heard a rumor The NYTimes finally
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Reviewed "Collected Poems, 1947-1980."
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This morning.
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Ginsberg dead.
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The old guy's in the Big Dipper now.
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Probably schtupping W.C. Williams
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Discussing plums and trees and life
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In the universe.
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I'm glad I wasn't in Paterson, NJ
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Or Boulder Coloraday,
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New Amsterdammit that day.
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Be some cryin' eyes all about.
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Allen.
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I considered becoming gay or growing
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A beard in your honor.
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But no. You get-
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This poem instead.
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/-\/-\/-\/-\
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/This anarcho\
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\rant brought/ And also sponsored by
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/2 u by ATI. \
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\not just a / Piedmont Porter
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/news organ. \
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\It's the rag/ Old Colonies Beer.
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/read round \
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\the world. / ST. Paul, MINN.
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\-/\-/\-/\-/
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Freedom is Brewing
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