440 lines
18 KiB
Plaintext
440 lines
18 KiB
Plaintext
***************************************************************************
|
|
* *
|
|
* Evil Angels Presents... / *
|
|
* / *
|
|
* Anarchistic Tendancies... Part IV / *
|
|
* / *
|
|
* Taxi Cab... Nerd of the Year! /_____ *
|
|
* / *
|
|
* By / *
|
|
* / *
|
|
* Lightening Bolt / *
|
|
* *
|
|
* *
|
|
***************************************************************************
|
|
|
|
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
| Ring these Boards! |
|
|
| |
|
|
| -> Pacific Island. 8902174. 300/300 ONLY. 24 hours a day! |
|
|
| |
|
|
| -> The Twilite Zone. 5620686. 300/300 1200/1200. 24 hours a day! |
|
|
| |
|
|
| -> Zen BBS 8996180 1200/1200 Running TBBS |
|
|
| 8996201 300/ 300 24 hours a day! |
|
|
| |
|
|
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
| |
|
|
| I would like to extend my thanks to Fearless Fred for the area he |
|
|
| provided on his BBS to make this entire effort possible! |
|
|
| |
|
|
| I would also like to thank Thelonius Monk and Fred for the assistance |
|
|
| I received in the process of publicising Taxi Cab's stupidity. |
|
|
| |
|
|
| I would also like to thank the others involved who played their parts |
|
|
| to perfection, but who would rather stay anonymous. |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Lastly, I would like to thank Taxi Cab for his stupidity and good |
|
|
| humour. |
|
|
| |
|
|
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
What you are about to read may make you sick, my sincere appologies!
|
|
|
|
But this is REAL LIFE... Believe it or not!
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
N E R D P R O F I L E
|
|
-----------------------
|
|
|
|
Name: Gordon (last name withheld)
|
|
|
|
Alias: Taxi Cab
|
|
Qix
|
|
|
|
Computer: Amiga 1000
|
|
|
|
Modem: Netcom 1234sa
|
|
|
|
I.Q.: 0.00
|
|
(Rounded off to 2 decimal places)
|
|
|
|
AGE: 16
|
|
|
|
Social Life: None detected as yet.
|
|
|
|
Home Life: Lives with Yuppy Parents in a Yuppy
|
|
suburb. Has been given his own phone line.
|
|
Must have had a very traumatic childhood!
|
|
We suspect that he used to kill ants, grubs,
|
|
and other such creatures that proposed no risk
|
|
to him before he had his computer bought for him.
|
|
|
|
General Comments: My first experience of the subject was on Zen BBS
|
|
I had just logged on and was receiving the main menu
|
|
(about 15 seconds after loggin on) when I received a
|
|
request from the subject to "go conference". Not being
|
|
rude, I went into the conferencing setion and greeted him.
|
|
The first thing the subject ever said to me was;
|
|
|
|
"Wot computa u use?????"
|
|
|
|
I was suspicious from the first. The Nerd Detection LED's
|
|
flashed on in my brain. I wasn't wrong...
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
-----------------------------------
|
|
List of macros used by the subject.
|
|
-----------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
PF1: /WHO
|
|
|
|
What this does is allow him to effectively monitor the users on
|
|
a TBBS system. By pressing the PF1 key he gets the list of the
|
|
others users.
|
|
|
|
PF2: /Send,1 Go conference!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
What this does, is once someone else logs onto the system, he
|
|
can send them the request to go into the conference mode with him.
|
|
|
|
PF3: Wot computa u got??????
|
|
|
|
This is the traditional nerd greeting. An acceptable nerdy responce:
|
|
"Orsum Amiga 1K!!!!!!!!!!! wot u got man??????????"
|
|
(Note the use of multiple punctuation marks - never been properly
|
|
explained why this is so, nor the phonetic spelling of words.
|
|
Several psycologists are working on this at the moment, and when
|
|
their thesis are published we hope to understand the nerd mentality
|
|
to such a degree that we will be able to detect and remove such
|
|
threats before they begin fester like Taxi Cab has.)
|
|
|
|
PF4: Got any NUI's, cards or outdials??????
|
|
|
|
This is the subject's way of saying;
|
|
"I'm C00L, I'm a hacker."
|
|
|
|
What it means is;
|
|
"I'm a nerd, I can't hack, I've got no friends, please be
|
|
nice to me and tell me something that I can blab to make
|
|
people think I know things that I don't have a clue about."
|
|
|
|
PF5: I'll talk to you some other time then..... Bye Dude.
|
|
|
|
This is the next key in sequence. After he has used the other keys,
|
|
the other person in chat with him realise what a nerd the guy
|
|
is, and leave.
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
His Pride and joy...
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
[[[[[[[[[ ttt !!! ]]]]]]]]]]
|
|
[[[[[[[[[ tttt !!!!! ]]]]]]]]]]
|
|
[[[ tttt !!!!! ]]]
|
|
[[[ tttt ccccccccc !!!!! ]]]
|
|
[[[ ttttttttttttt cccccccccccc !!!!! ]]]
|
|
[[[ ttttttttttttt ccccc ccccc !!! ]]]
|
|
[[[ tttt cccc !!! ]]]
|
|
[[[ tttt cccc !!! ]]]
|
|
[[[ tttt cccc ]]]
|
|
[[[ tttt ttt cccc ccccc !!! ]]]
|
|
[[[[[[[[[ tttt tttt cccccccccccc !!!!! ]]]]]]]]]]
|
|
[[[[[[[[[ tttttt cccccccccc !!! ]]]]]]]]]]
|
|
|
|
And that's a........
|
|
___ __ __
|
|
|\ /| /\ / \ | \ / \
|
|
| \/ | /__\ | |__/ | |
|
|
| |/ \ \___/ | \ \__/
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
------------------------------
|
|
A day in the life of Taxi Cab.
|
|
------------------------------
|
|
|
|
10:00 Wake up.
|
|
|
|
10:05 Switch on computer. While booting, go to the kitchen and
|
|
ask mother to make breakfast for him. Return to computer.
|
|
|
|
10:07 - 14:00 Log onto Zen BBS, Pacific Island, Twilite Zone, Greyhawk
|
|
or any other BBS that the sysop has not yet thrown him off.
|
|
|
|
14:00 Ask mother to make lunch for him.
|
|
|
|
14:02 - 18:00 Log onto Zen BBS, Pacific Island, Twilite Zone, Greyhawk
|
|
or any other BBS that the sysop has not yet thrown him off.
|
|
|
|
18:00 Has to have dinner with mother, father and any other
|
|
relatives that might be there. Has to hurry, as the computer
|
|
is still switched on.
|
|
|
|
18:25 - 23:00 Log onto Zen BBS, Pacific Island, Twilite Zone, Greyhawk
|
|
or any other BBS that the sysop has not yet thrown him off.
|
|
|
|
23:00 Just for a change, today he'll have a shower this week.
|
|
Maybe he'll have a bath next week. He would hate his
|
|
bath toys to get lonely.
|
|
|
|
23:15 - 02:00 Log onto Zen BBS, Pacific Island, Twilite Zone, Greyhawk
|
|
or any other BBS that the sysop has not yet thrown him off.
|
|
|
|
02:00 Kiss his panda bear goodnight, go to sleep.
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
--------------------
|
|
General Information:
|
|
--------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
We set up a hacking area... The Elite... to please Taxi
|
|
Cab, as he was sure that there was a hacking area on the
|
|
Twilite Zone.
|
|
|
|
In this area were such hackers as Lightening Bolt (myself),
|
|
Fearless Fred, Thelonius Monk, Storm Cloud, Thunder Bird,
|
|
Conan (don't we wish!), and some other names that sounded cool!
|
|
|
|
In this area, Monk, myself, and Fred created about 70 or so
|
|
messages which would give any nerd in the real of Taxi Cab
|
|
the impression that we were the most efficient, organised and
|
|
successful hacking group Australia have ever seen, with details
|
|
of our achievements kept to a minimum... but including Austpac,
|
|
BHP, Elders, Westpac, the list goes on.....
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Here's an example of of the area.
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
TO: Thunder Bird
|
|
FROM: The Assasin
|
|
SUBJECT: Re: Melb. Uni Outdial.
|
|
|
|
Yeah buddy, I've been working on the CAE Vax, damn
|
|
it's a fuckwit, you know the usual backdoor we use,
|
|
well the motherfuckers have plugged it. I don't think
|
|
they're onto us yet though. I'll get onto it again tonight
|
|
and just get the password file and work on it.
|
|
|
|
want the Monash Admin details please. Got an enemy I'd like
|
|
to fail last year!
|
|
|
|
latest on that NUI, it is now dead, don't try to use it, they
|
|
do an immediate trace. I think I might give it to some nappy
|
|
and let Telescum get up his ass!
|
|
|
|
Mike.
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
TO: Masked Avenger (Private)
|
|
FROM: Fearless Fred
|
|
SUBJECT: What are you doing in this area?
|
|
|
|
You aren't a hacker! Piss off!
|
|
|
|
As for you Monk, pretty damn rude reading other's mail!
|
|
|
|
Piss OFF!
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
TO: All
|
|
FROM: Thunder Bird
|
|
SUBJECT: You been up all night too huh?
|
|
|
|
Shit I am fucked guys! I've been downloading from the
|
|
US for the past 4 - 5 hours, in between chatting to
|
|
some cool US sysops. I've got this utility for decompiling a
|
|
UNIX password file, similar to the one we've got for the VAX.
|
|
I'll upload it now. This is one not to let out!
|
|
It's fucking good, and with docs on the latest UNIX revision
|
|
fuckups!
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
TO: Fearless Fred (Private)
|
|
FROM: Fearless Fred
|
|
SUBJECT: Re: Should we give him access?
|
|
|
|
Monk, that's naughty, reading the sysop's
|
|
private mail to himself!
|
|
|
|
Think I should give him access to the Elite?
|
|
|
|
Na... I've met the twerp, and apart from almost dying
|
|
of laughter, I CAN'T STAND IT! (Him sorry)
|
|
|
|
It's about time you opened another stubbie Fred!
|
|
|
|
Ahhh... Foster's Lager!
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
TO: Fred
|
|
FROM: CONAN
|
|
SUBJECT: EGO?
|
|
|
|
SCREW YOURSELF! I HAVE SKILL BABY, AND WANT THE MOTHER FUCKERS TO KNOW
|
|
ABOUT IT. IF THE BASTARDS ARE AS DUMB AS THAT, THEY DESERVE TO GET
|
|
WHAT I FUCKING GIVE THEM!
|
|
BUT I WONT SCREW UP. I HAVE A PERSONAL INTEREST IN ELDERS THAT I WILL
|
|
MAKE SURE THAT THIS ACCOUNT REMAINS FOR A WHILE SO THAT I CAN GET INTO
|
|
THEIR IMS CONTROL FILES. THEY ARE STILL RUNNING VERSION 19.3 OF IMS,
|
|
THAT IS ASKING FOR HACKERS! THEY WONT UPGRADE, SO ONCE I'VE SECURED
|
|
SOME OTHER ACCOUNTS THAT THEY WONT DETECT, I AM GOING TO SCARE THEM
|
|
SOMETHING SHOCKING! THEY WILL BEG ME TO STOP!
|
|
|
|
TILL NEXT TIME, KISS MY ASS!
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Anyone with 1/2 a brain could tell this stuff is UTTER
|
|
|
|
B U L L S H I T ! ! !
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
After granting the little nerd access, we have been plaugued
|
|
by him ever since. So... after dropping his access, and
|
|
telling him to go away, we thought that that would be the
|
|
end of him. But... the twerp wouldn't go.
|
|
|
|
So... hence the release of A.T. 4. Please, Taxi Cab, take this
|
|
as a bulletin from the uses of Melbourne's (and where ever else
|
|
you have called) bulletin boards and GO AWAY!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lightening /
|
|
Bolt /_
|
|
/ Strikes
|
|
/ Again!
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
----------------------
|
|
E V I L A N G E L S
|
|
----------------------
|
|
|
|
You too can help rid the world of nerds. By purchasing any of
|
|
the following quality offical Evil Angels Products.
|
|
|
|
"I hate the Masked Avenger" Badges $ 2-50
|
|
|
|
Evil Angels Windcheaters... $25-00
|
|
|
|
All sizes, all colours, design is Front: "I hate the Masked Avenger"
|
|
Back: "Evil Angels forever!"
|
|
|
|
Printed versions of Anachistic Tendancies Part 1 - 4
|
|
PLUS a full printout of the hacking area created
|
|
especially for Taxi Cab (A must for when you just cant
|
|
get onto that BBS you've been
|
|
trying to get onto for hours!)
|
|
|
|
$10-00
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rememer... donations to Evil Angels are NOT tax deductable,
|
|
but will help rid the world of nerds like Taxi Cab!
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
This Edition's Awards...
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
Nerd of the Year.... Who Else? Taxi Cab!
|
|
|
|
Salesman of the Year... Lounge Lizzard
|
|
|
|
Macro of the Month... Ford Prefect
|
|
|
|
Bastard of the Month... Masked Avenger
|
|
|
|
Fresh Faced Teenager Award... Disk Destroyer
|
|
|
|
Muscle of the Month... Radio Active
|
|
|
|
Drunken Slob of the Month... Fred of course!
|
|
|
|
Car of the month... (Also known as the
|
|
who admits to owning
|
|
a bongo award...) Thelonius Monk
|
|
|
|
Hoon of the Month... AGAIN! ECH!?
|
|
|
|
Sexual Pervert of the Year... Dianne Nicholls
|
|
|
|
Sinner of the month... SYN ...
|
|
|
|
Group of the Year... B.A.L.L.S.
|
|
|
|
Wimpy Moustache of all Time
|
|
(Actually, this was a draw.) Bozly
|
|
Da Wombat
|
|
|
|
SYSOP of all time... Craig Bowen.
|
|
|
|
We still like you even though we give
|
|
you a lot of shit award... The "don't shit me
|
|
man" Mentat
|
|
|
|
|
|
We never have liked you, and never
|
|
will, unless you piss off award... Taxi Cab.
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
Anarchistic Tendancies IV
|
|
(C) April - May 1988
|
|
YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHTS!
|
|
|
|
**************************************
|
|
* NO PART OF THIS FILE MAY BE *
|
|
* PUBLISHED IN MASS MEDIA WITH OUT *
|
|
* THE AUTHOR'S WRITTEN PERMISSION *
|
|
* *
|
|
* - That's a god-dammed warning *
|
|
* *
|
|
**************************************
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
|
|
YOURMOTHERSUCKSCOCKSINHELL
|
|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
|
|
|
|
Disclaimer: The author(s) have gone to a hell of a lot of trouble to ensure
|
|
that this file contains no offencive material. However, should you find
|
|
anything which you object to, STIFF SHIT! You can't sue us!
|
|
This file is written with the intent of producing a humourous
|
|
file which will be enjoyed by everyone, and no offence is intended towards
|
|
any person or persons however much they are mentioned.
|
|
And please... don't send your dad's bruisers onto us Gordon!
|
|
|
|
|